From this day forth you dwell within
My heart, my mind, my life
Without your love I shall not live
I take you as my wife
(Cygnan wedding vow)
9th Pass -- Year 27 - October
(Ista Weyr, October 23rd)
It seemed an odd group to call to a conference; two masterhealers, a Weyrleader, a Weyrwoman, a wingleader and a queenrider. Even this group was about to discover that they had a most unusual guest attendee.
"Before we start," announced Masterhealer Oldive, "I want everyone to understand that we have another member of this conference. He can't be in this room, so I'll ask him to introduce himself. Elysina, you did bring him, did you not?"
The queenrider nodded, advising the assembly, "He's outside. He rode with me and Valkryth." The dark-haired woman seemed strangely subdued, as though she already knew the subject of these proceeding would not be pleasant.
The planet's leading physician smiled, nodding toward the woman. "Thank you. I believe we're going to need him. Astaroth, would you please introduce yourself?"
Heads came up around the table, regarding the Masterhealer with surprised and confused expressions. Two of the attendees, however, wore quiet, gently amused smiles. Elysina and T'gellan snickered, looking down into their hands.
A powerful thought surged into their minds. The Cygnan dragon allowed his projections to register with everyone in the group.
'Good afternoon, Master Oldive, Master Nerodian. My duty to you, Weyrleader, Weyrwoman. T'gellan, Elysina, I'm happy to see you again.'
Several of the persons were momentarily surprised, although Elysina and T'gellan knew this would be the course of events. Cosira wore a slightly chagrined, amused smile. G'dened already knew the beast could communicate with them.
Masterhealer Nerodian chuckled, at first surprised and then amused. 'Good afternoon, Astaroth. I'm pleased to finally meet you.'
'Thank you, sir. The pleasure is mutual.'
"It was Astaroth who requested this conference," Oldive informed them. "With Elysina's help, he and I have been consulting for the past week. I will give you what information I can, but most of this discussion will be directed by the dragon.
"Darian is seriously ill. As described to me, he has developed an atrial fibrillation, and his stress level has become dangerous. This began shortly after Selana impressed Scylenth and peaked after the mating flight. You all know what happened there."
The Istan Weyrleader spoke up. "We knew he was struggling after the flight, but he didn't seem to be out of control. If anything, within a few days, he seemed calmer than usual."
"That's not surprising," Nerodian replied. "Persons dealing with serious forms of depression often seem calmer than usual, more in control of themselves. The reality is that they aren't getting calm, they're getting numb. It usually takes a bit longer than this, but it isn't abnormal. This is when the dangerous stages set in."
"How dangerous?" G'dened asked. He had a Weyr to worry about, and he already knew how potentially dangerous the avion was. He'd seen him in action.
"I know he can't forget about Selana," Cosira interjected, "but he seems very much in love with Elysina. Hasn't he accepted her as his new weyrmate?"
The Craftmaster frowned, reaching for the cup of klah in front of him. This was an extremely worrisome situation, one that he and several other masterhealers had discussed before. He didn't care to see it becoming a reality.
"We don't know how dangerous he may become. We just don't know enough about avions. Astaroth?"
'At the moment, he isn't dangerous. If he goes over the edge, it becomes problematic. I believe he'll become suicidal, but anyone who comes near him at that point may be in danger. He's unpredictable, so I just don't know.'
"Has he always been like this?" Nerodian inquired.
'He's always been unpredictable. He only became unstable after he met Selana.'
"After he MET her?" the psychologist persisted.
'Yes. After he made the decision to make her his mate, he became fiercely protective of her. That's an avion trait. At that point, he started to deal with the conflict of the avion mind wanting to kill any potential rival and the human mind simply wanting to keep her entirely to himself. It got progressively worse when they transferred to Ista and became critical after the mating flight.'
"To answer your question, Cosira, yes. From all indications, he is happily involved with Elysina. But we have almost no knowledge of avion psychology. We have no way of knowing what is happening in his mind. Elysina," he inquired, turning toward the tiny woman, "how has he been acting? Is he happy as your weyrmate?"
"No," she revealed quietly, her voice little more than a whisper, with no lack of pain evident in it. "I love him, and he loves me. We're fine most of the time. But, if he's alone for a few minutes, especially at night, he'll start crying. Even when we're in bed together, if he thinks I'm asleep, he starts to cry. I don't know how to help him."
Her voice had become even softer, her eyes haunted. The others in the room regarded her with concerned, sympathetic eyes."
"He hasn't really seemed normal since the mating flight," Cosira appended. "It seems like there's an edge to him, or maybe he's on an edge. He does well if we're fighting thread or if he's in the infirmary but, as soon as he sees Selana, he withdraws. He closes himself off from everyone."
Oldive and Nerodian exchanged glances, nodding to each other. The Lemos master shrugged. "It's classic, Master. It's what we've been expecting."
"Astaroth," Oldive requested, "what can you tell us? What's happening in his mind?"
'The human part of him is deeply in love with Elysina. She has done a good job of holding him together. But the avion part can't deal with losing Selana. Avions mate for life. They never separate unless one of them dies. Darian sees the loss of Selana as a failure on his part. He sees himself as inferior, that he wasn't worthy of her. The conflict between the two is driving his mental stress to extreme levels.'
Nerodian nodded, mulling the information. "How do avions deal with the loss of a mate?"
'They become psychologically unstable. Some become homicidal, but most become suicidal. It's rare for an avion to lose a mate and live more than a few months.'
"Selana has told him that she's still his wife," G'dened revealed. "She still wants him to be her husband. He hasn't lost her."
'Telling him isn't enough. Constantly seeing her with V'line tells him that she is his mate, that he has lost her. When he first met V'line at Eastern, he considered him a rival. After he and Selana married, they became friends. Now, he doesn't know how to think or feel. Living like that is torturing him. It's destroying him emotionally.'
"Will counseling help him?" Nerodian asked.
'Possibly, but it won't be enough by itself. Something will have to change his psychological dynamic to keep him alive. I don't think I can maintain him more than a few months. His heart won't take it.'
"Could we send him back to Eastern for a while? Would that help?"
