Chapter 30 -- Blowback
*****
After the excitement of learning about being Dragonborn, climbing the mountain to High Hrothgar, then battling against another dragon outside Kynesgrove, returning to work as a Companion was a slight comedown. Not that it didn't provide plenty of excitement, but in the back of my mind all the time was the dragon issue.
But I kept my mind occupied by continuing our personal war against the Silver Hand. Aela still had all the information we'd gathered, and after explaining to Lydia what we were doing, she was happy to help out. There was one particular reason why. She got me all to herself. I found no reason to complain, as she'd already proven very delightful company.
Our first mission was a Silver Hand camp to the north, more than a day's ride, meaning we had to camp out. We behaved ourselves that first night, spending our time around the campfire talking. She asked plenty of questions about my life, and once assured that she wouldn't judge me, at least too harshly, I gave her the unfiltered truth.
"Are you still the master?" she asked.
"No. I have nothing to do with the Thieves Guild any longer. But I put them on a better path. Yes, they are still thieves, but there is now an honour to what they do."
"And the other thing?"
"I don't regret it for a moment because I got to spend all that time with Astrid. And it led me all the way to this night here with you."
That made her smile, at least. "You loved her?"
"I did. It was different to my wife. Very different, for a number of reasons. But we connected. However, the work I've done with the Companions, and now as the Dragonborn, means I can restore a sense of pride and honour. I've never thought of myself as a bad person, and certainly not evil, though I know I've done many dishonourable and perhaps evil things."
"What about what we're doing now?"
Aela wasn't intimate with him, but there's a burning sense of revenge for the death of Skjor. "What happened wasn't right."
"Is it possible you're going too far?"
"Possibly. We'll cross that bridge if it comes."
Taking out the camp wasn't too difficult as we agreed to infiltrate at night. We killed a couple silently but once a couple of them woke up, we just let the blood flow. Using my Thu'um wasn't practical, but it didn't particularly matter, as the Silver Hand were no match for the pair of us, surprised at how easily we adapted to fighting alongside each other.
There was little information to take back to Aela, but we'd taken out another operation, so I was happy enough with the result. Riding back to Whiterun, I realised the one secret I was keeping from Lydia was the fact we were werewolves. I'm sure there were whispers around the city but no-one would truly believe, and certainly never accuse, the Companions of being werewolves.
It was only upon returning to Breezehome that I noticed the drinking horn still sitting on top of a side cupboard. Picking it up, I said to myself, "I really should return this to the Greybeards."
"What was that?"
"Huh?"
"You're talking to yourself, my Thane."
"I just said I need to return this horn. I'm sure the Greybeards are wondering where I am."
"When would you like to leave?"
I couldn't help chuckle at her enthusiasm. "Let me have a word with Aela, as she'll want..."
"I was thinking just you and I..." I gave her a look, and her eyes said everything. "Do I need to spell it out for you why?"
"No. I'll go have a word with Aela anyway."
I found Aela in Jorrvaskr, downstairs in her old room. She was disappointed that I didn't find any more information, but rather amused when I added news about heading back to High Hrothgar. I wasn't particularly subtle when I said I'd just take Lydia this time. "She wants to fuck you without me there."
"More than likely."
"Well, I guess I can't complain. You leave me satisfied and sore most of the time, and I know she has to listen to it."
"So you don't mind?"
"Of course not. Though I'll probably just stay here and work. I can't sleep at home if you're not there."
I couldn't help smile when she called it home. "Think of it like that already?"
"Don't get me started, Ragnar, otherwise I'll break my promise and started talking about things we agreed not to talk about." She paused with a smirk before asking, "When will you go?"
"Tomorrow morning. I'm sure they're wondering where I am."
"Okay. I'll join you at home shortly. Just one or two things I need to do here first." I turned to leave when she called my name. Turning back, she walked towards and hugged me. "I love you," she said quietly.
"I love you too. But what's brought this one? Not that I'm complaining, but..."
She leaned back, another of those heart-melting smiles that I already adored. "Because although I promised not to talk about it, I do think... I think a lot."
"So do I. But I don't want to jinx things. Hopefully third time is a charm though."
"Fingers crossed."
"I'll grab Lydia and head to the Bannered Mare for a drink. Meet us there when you're done here."
"I won't be too much longer."
Lydia and I sat at what I would now consider our usual table, one of the corners nearest the door where I could watch people enter or leave. Lydia found it amusing but it was simply force of habit, never liking to have my back to a room full of people. Saadia didn't even have to ask what we wanted, coming over within a few minutes of our arrival with tankards of ale and a plate of meat for us to nibble. Ysolda noticed me and came over to say hello. I'd spoken to her once or twice since moving to Whiterun, and I was pleased to hear she was now married to a fellow merchant.
When she left, Lydia asked, "Did you sleep with her too?"
I gave her a look and a smile. "I don't sleep with every woman I meet."
"Just most of them then."
"I can't help it if women want to sleep with me."
Lydia had nothing to say to that, as she was in my bed within a couple of days at most, and she wanted me all to herself after leaving for High Hrothgar in the morning. So we sat back, ate and drank, conversed a little bit, waiting for Aela to arrive. Mikael was providing the music as always, and others got up for a dance. Lydia looked at me more than once, pleading with her eyes, and it didn't take a lot for me to relent and join her.
Aela walked in as we were dancing and near doubled over in laughter, probably because I looked uncomfortable. I usually need a few more drinks before I really get into it, but Lydia was enjoying herself at least. We danced through a couple of tunes before I could finally escape back to my chair. Aela made one or two jokes at my expense, which I didn't mind, ordering another round of drinks from Saadia.
Despite having to leave the next morning, the three of us stayed at the tavern until it was rather late. I was sensible regarding my consumption of ale, but Lydia and Aela were both rolling drunk by the time we left. Dumping Aela in a chair by the fire, I managed to help Lydia upstairs. Thankfully she just got under the furs and went straight to sleep, though I grabbed a bucket, just in case she was ill. Aela was fast asleep by the time I headed back downstairs, so carried her upstairs, managed to undress her, before putting her to bed too.
Neither woman was feeling too good the next morning. Aela could barely drag herself out of bed, while Lydia was downstairs by the time I headed down, already armoured, ready to go. She didn't look well at all, and I was ready to delay for a day, but she insisted that after breakfast she would be ready to go.
She was still groaning as we carried our supplies down to the stables, Aela somehow having dragged herself out of bed to wish us goodbye. I gave her a hug and told her to go home and back to bed. She didn't argue, and after giving me a brief kiss, turned and headed straight back home. I helped Lydia up onto her horse before mounting my own, and we began the long journey to Ivarstead.
She barely said a word the entire journey. In fact, she was pretty much dozing once we crossed the bridge past the crossroads. Thankfully we didn't run into any bandits or wild animals, and to avoid the steep incline we travelled previously, I kept us on the main road, following the signs for Ivarstead. It was a much longer route but it gave Lydia much more time to recover before our journey up the mountain.
We stayed at the same inn as before, no surprise as there was no other accommodation available, taking only one room as Lydia wanted to share the same bed, though admitted she wasn't capable of anything else. I found that rather amusing, as she'd made no secret of why she wanted to do this journey alone, so I suggested we could spend a couple of nights at High Hrothgar together before heading back to Whiterun.
Lydia behaved that night, only enjoying a lone tankard before we headed to bed early. Despite not wanting to be intimate, she still wanted to see flesh, so there was some making out as we undressed each other. Taking in her naked body by candlelight, she was a little shy at first, more so when I sat on the bed first and pulled her onto it with me. Spooning into me, there was the natural bodily reaction, which made her gasp.
"I so want to but I'm really tired," she whispered.
"It's fine. You go to sleep and it'll go away soon."
She was out rather quickly, quite happy snuggling against me. It was rather weird how quickly she fell into bed with me, and now lying together naked under the furs, I was amazed how natural it also felt. I'd never tell her that I'd never choose her over Aela, but if she was happy with the occasional night together, then I would be happy if it worked. And I certainly wouldn't stop her finding a man of her own. I'm not that much of a selfish bastard.
Feeling like her usual self the next day, and prepared for the Seven Thousand Steps, we departed early, wrapped in our thick coats, and kept a steady pace nearly the entire time, only stopping briefly to nibble on some bread and cheese. We met the occasional pilgrim along the way, but came across no wildlife, figuring we'd killed anything that lurked the last time we'd journeyed up the path.
