A request featuring Alexstrasza and two goblins from WoW.
***
The Broken Tusk tavern served everyone from orcish grunts to tauren braves, from blood knights to warlocks to thieves and aristocrats, and, tonight, a pair of the dirtiest goblins in Orgrimmar. Perhaps the luckiest, too.
Krib eyed his friend disapprovingly from the other side of the table they were seated at, a fly buzzing obnoxiously about his head. The smell of a nearby elf's flowery perfume mixed with the aroma of hog shanks, roasted quail and sweaty orcs, forming a thoroughly unpleasant scent. It was a hot and humid evening, made even worse by the great flickering fireplace situated near a primitive kitchen where a peon poked at a pig on a spit.
"Haven't you had enough to drink?" he asked.
Neiza slammed her mug down on the table, eyes accusing. "Says who?"
"Says you, remember? You said one drink." He held up a finger. "
One.
"
She tossed back another swig of alcohol and then pursed her lips. "Nope. I need to get smashed to get the juices flowin'."
"Juices? Oh no." He groaned, a growing sense of unease twisting his gut. "Not more of your ideas."
"Please!" she snapped, leaning across the table. "What are you bellyachin' for? It's because of me that you got to do this--" Neiza made a lewd gesture with her mouth and hand. "--with Sylvanas and Tyrande!" An orc from a nearby table looked at her curiously, and her lewd gesture turned into a rude one. "What are you lookin' at, greenskin?"
Krib made no comment to the fact that her skin was even greener than the orc's. The orc snorted, thankfully more amused than anything else.
"One of these days we're both going to get burned by one of your ideas," he said.
For a moment she looked as if she'd blow her top, but then a queer, foreboding thing happened that scent a chill down his spine: a smile crept its way across her features, toothy, slightly lopsided, and promising misfortune. He didn't like it. Not even a bit.
"Burned! Now that's an idea!" she said, clapping her hands together.
Oh no.
He took a sip of mead, trembling so badly he nearly spilled his drink.
***
"We're going to die."
"You know, you'd think you'd learn to trust me by now," Neiza said, feet stomping loudly on the stone tiles of Wyrmrest Temple's lowest floor.
Neiza had forced--or convinced him, depending on which one you asked--to travel with her to the frozen continent of Northrend and all the way to the very center of its icy wastes. He'd been nervous the entire trip, expecting death to come in the form of either Scourge remnants or winged behemoths, but so far they'd managed to remain unscathed.
For now.
As they made their way through the halls of Wyrmrest, dragons both in and out of their humanoid forms stared down at the two of them as they passed, their ancient eyes curious, suspicious, perhaps even a tad hungry. Walls of ancient stone loomed impossibly high above them, and there didn't seem to be a single thing within the temple smaller than they were. It was at rare times such as these that Krib wished a gnome was nearby. Or even a dwarf. They were accustomed to feeling small in Orgrimmar, but this was something else entirely.
"Do you know where you're going?" he asked, avoiding the gaze of a dragon licking its lips and eyeing him like a snack.
" 'Course I do."
"Really? Because you've never been here before and you aren't carrying a map."
She gave him an exasperated look, like he were a child, and then gestured towards a pair of guards standing watch beside an archway. "All you gotta do is find the biggest, meanest, toughest looking guards. Bonus points if they're dressed like royalty. Whatever they're guarding is bound to be important."
"I have doubts about your method," he said, although the more he thought about it the more he came to realize that she might be onto something. The Kor'kron, Sylvanas' Royal Dreadguards, spellbreakers...
"Come on, I'll show ya!"
"Wait!"
Neiza didn't wait. She marched right up to a scaly gold dragonkin and waved her hand in his face. Or rather, his legs. He was about ten times her size, with glorious crimson armor that probably weighed more than they did combined. "Where's Alexstrasza?" she asked, thumbing over her shoulder at Krib. "We got business with her."
The two-legged reptilian looked Krib and Neiza over, his gaze cold and snake-like, his breath hot and escaping in plumes of vaporous smoke from his nostrils. After an uncomfortable period of time, he blinked. "Business?" he said, his voice deep and lazy.
"That's right. The Dragon Queen needs a massage."
The guard stared at her contemplatively, slowly, infuriatingly, then blinked again. "Massage?" he asked.
"Yeah, massage! Don't you know what a massage is? Here." Neiza rummaged around in her bag and pulled out a pair of pictures. "See? We're experts."
"Hmm." He scratched at his scaly face while he inspected the photos, yawned, then stood up straight and struck the flat end of his halberd against the floor. "Proceed."
Beyond the guards a portal glowed, thrumming with arcane energy and swirling with colors. Neiza quickly hopped through it. Krib followed behind after saying his prayers to any spirit he could think of.
The portal took them to an inner chamber on a nondescript floor, bright and massive, enclosed on all sides by cyclopean masonry of gray and bronze, lavishly furnished with bookshelves lining the walls and great draconic tapestries hanging about. Serpentine hallways branched out from this chamber, and as they explored them, opening doors and searching for the Life-binder, Krib began to grow curious as to the subject matter of those photographs Neiza had presented to the guards.
"What exactly were those pictures?"
Neiza glanced left and right at an intersection of the maze that seemed to comprise Alexstrasza's chambers, then turned left. "Us with Sylvanas and Tyrande," she said, holding her hands out in front of her and squeezing the air.
"You took pictures of--nevermind, forget I asked. I don't want to know. The less I know the better, that's what my parents always say."
Neiza rolled her eyes and led them deeper into the chamber. At last they came to a beautifully ornate door with depictions of dragons and vines etched about its surface. More pressingly, a sound could be heard beyond it, a faint rumble followed by a splash.
"Water?" he whispered. "Up here?"
"Come on!" Before he could stop her, Neiza opened the door and slipped inside. He clambered after her, nerves causing him to sweat, mind racing with the possibilities of what a dragon could do to them. Burning, scorching, tearing, gnashing...
They saw everything upon entering the room: the sparkling pool of water, the great ivory columns rising up to the ceiling, the smooth tiles adorning the floor, the exquisite murals depicting various scenes of nature upon the walls, and her, the Life-Binder herself. Within the shimmering pool Alexstrasza stood, naked and astonishingly beautiful. Water droplets clung to her tan skin, rolled down her generous curves, dampened her long crimson hair. The fine craftsmanship of the bathing chamber paled in comparison to the Dragon Queen's beauty, and he found himself almost drooling at the sight of her naked body, his jaw slack and hanging open.
A tug on his arm snapped him out of his reverie. Neiza brought a finger to her lips and then gestured for him to follow her. They crept closer until they reached one of the massive pillars, huddling behind it and peaking out from either side. Alexstrasza didn't notice them and continued bathing, eyes closed as she soaked in the hot water, splashed it across her supple skin, steam rising up all around her.
"What are you doing?" he whispered.
Neiza had dropped her bag and was rifling through it. The low roar of water being pumped into the pool obfuscated the noises she made, but he nevertheless worried about their discovery. Alexstrasza may be the Aspect of Life, but he doubted that she would approve of a pair of voyeurs spying on her, and an angry dragoness was the last thing he wanted to face.
Neiza pulled a camera out of her bag and flashed it to him, grinning wickedly. His eyes bulged and he shook his head violently. "Are you trying to get us killed?"
"Shush," she said, fiddling with the big bulky contraption then pointing it at Alexstrasza. He winced when it clicked and spat out a black and white photograph. "Damn! Had the wrong filter on."