Disclaimer: I do not intend for anyone to mistake this as being true and real. It is a fictional story involving fake versions of celebrities all over the age of 18.
*****
'So, eighteen years old huh?' I said to my friend Abigail Breslin, referencing the fact that it was indeed only a few nights after her eighteenth birthday.
'Can you believe it?' She questioned as she and I sat across from each other, waiting for our mutual friend Charlie to get ready.
'It's about time you finally caught up with us,' I said as I took a sip from my beer.
We'd all met on the set of her film 'Zombieland', and even though neither Charlie nor I were actors Abigail seemed to want to spend more and more time with us. I think it was because we gave off a kind of a cool, older vibe, there's about three years difference between us.
'Anything I should know?' Abigail asked, playing with her straw as she smiled at me.
On the set of 'Zombieland' we were the only other two kids who had to be tutored on set. Our parents were both pretty heavily involved in the film industry and were never consistently in one place. Maybe this was why we bonded, either way, ever since then we've tried to catch up as often as possible.
'Well, the rules are a bit different for you,' I said, finishing my beer and getting up to grab another as I talked.
'What do you mean?' She asked as I opened my fridge.
'For me and Charlie, it was well... you're not going to have any trouble getting into clubs,' I said, grabbing a beer out.
'Oh, you mean because of these?' Abigail said, gripping her large tits in her hands as she joked.
I gawked for a moment, her incredible low cut top and her penchant for never wearing a bra made it seem like if she shook her tits any more they would spill right out. I shook my head and looked back up at her face. 'What? No. I mean because you're an Academy Award nominee,' I insisted.
She laughed and I found myself staring back down at her heaving tits. I couldn't help myself, it was such a weird feeling. It was like, ever since we'd known her she'd been like our younger sister and then suddenly as if overnight, she was this gorgeous buxom sex bomb, who knew what she had and liked to flaunt it.
We went silent for a moment and it became apparent that I was just staring at her tits, lost in thought. I slowly looked up past her full pink lips, into her eyes, expecting to see a look of either embarrassment or anger. Instead though, she just had a knowing, flirty but very serious smile. It was almost as if she was trying to send me a message.
'Alright, I'm ready,' Charlie said as he barged into the kitchen.
'What's the rush?' I said, sitting back down, this time next to Abigail instead of across from her. 'Grab a drink, clubs won't get interesting for a few more hours anyway.'
'Alright,' he said simply grabbing a drink from the fridge and sitting down in my old seat. 'What're we talking about?'
'My boobs apparently,' Abigail said, giving me a cheeky smile as I looked away somewhat sheepishly.
'Really?' Charlie questioned as he looked from me, to Abigail, to Abigail's tits back to me again. 'Finally!' He exclaimed, gesturing at the tits with both hands. 'I mean holy shit look at these things!'
We all laughed. 'I just can't believe you two boys didn't bring it up once in all this time,' Abigail said.
'David here just kept saying it would be weird,' Charlie said, throwing me under the bus.
'Really? Weird? Why?' Abigail questioned, demeanour slightly shifting as she herself shifted toward me.
'Well, just because we've been friends for so long, it felt kinda weird to be attracted to you, you know?' I attempted to explain.
Charlie looked at me shocked. 'Attracted to me?' Abigail questioned. 'I just meant because of how they've grown... are you... attracted to me David?' Abigail had a serious look on her face now.
I took a long sip of beer as I considered my response. 'Well...' I said softly. 'Well yeah, I mean, of course we are, you're gorgeous!' I stated.
'We?' Abigail said, glancing between the two of us.
Charlie furrowed his brow. 'Jesus Christ David,' he said frustrated.
I immediately skulled my beer. We sat in silence for a little while, each sipping our drinks.
'You guys... you guys know I'm fucking with you right?' Abigail said finally.
'What?' Charlie and I both questioned at the same time.
'I mean come on, it's pretty obvious you guys have the hots for me,' Abigail said, clearly seconds away from cracking up. 'I mean David, I just caught you openly gawking at my tits!'
She cracked up laughing, clearly amused with the way she'd managed to so easily torture her two closest friends. 'Jesus Christ Abi,' Charli said, now also beginning to chuckle good naturedly.
'I need another drink,' I said, and we all laughed yet again.
A few hours passed and more and more drinks coupled with laughter and sex talk filled our minds. It was so strange now, we'd been close friends with Abigail for years but now it was like a weight had been lifted. Even though I guess she knew we had the hots for her the whole time, the fact that we knew she knew made everything feel so much more normal.
'You know David... a few weeks ago I went onto your computer to find movie times,' Abigail started.
'Oh no,' I said, knowing exactly where she was going with this.
The three of us were sprawled out on my couch by this time, all six legs up on the coffee table and Abigail's head resting slightly on my shoulder.
'Oh yes,' Abigail said laughing. 'I found your little stash of pictures,' she mocked.
'Stash of pictures?' Charlie questioned.
'Oh didn't you know?' Abigail asked. 'David here is a huge fan of August: Osage County... well he at least really likes looking at photos of me from the premiere.'
Charlie and Abigail laughed at my expense. 'I'm sorry!' I exclaimed jokingly. 'But can you blame me, you knew exactly what you were doing when you wore what you wore.'
'You're right David,' Abigail mocked. 'I thought to myself, yes I'm going to wear this so that one day David will jerk off to a picture of me even though he could just...'
Abigail went quiet and looked very embarrassed, digging her head even further into my shoulder. 'What was that Abi?' I asked.
