This story is a fantasy, a parody if you will, pure fiction and is not intended to be taken as a real-life depiction of the sex-life of Shannen Doherty. Although if it was, maybe she'd loosen up and not be quite so much of a bitch.
Feedback encouraged!
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Shannen Doherty was walking along the beach in Hawaii. Her career was on the skids after she was kicked off of "Charmed", the second time she was bounced from a show for being a pain in the ass. Fortunately for her, Aaron Spelling decided to give her one more chance and hired her for a limited run on his new evening soap North Shore. Her character was a bitch who shook things up. What a stretch.
During a rare break from shooting she drove to an isolated beach and walked to a small bay. In this isolated area she could float on her air mattress and soak up some sun. The warm tropical breezes were so relaxing. Shannen rolled over onto her chest and reinflated the mattress which had los some air since she initially inflated it and untied the strings on her bikini top and bottom so she wouldn't get tanlines. "No sense in wasting a golden opportunity like this," she thought as she settled back onto the air mattress. This was so soothing. So calming. So relaxing. She made a mental note to look into buying a place around here later on.
SPLASH!!!
Shannen was shocked when she fell into the ocean. Had she fallen asleep? That damn cheap air mattress! It lost so much air that it couldn't support her anymore. She looked around but she couldn't find the mattress. Then she realized she had bigger problems. She had drifted well out from shore and was in a current that was carrying her even further out! She screamed for help but there was nobody in sight. She tried to swim back toward shore, but she couldn't beat the current! "Damn!" she thought, "my career's finally getting back on track and now I'm drifting out into the middle of the Pacific Ocean!" She screamed again and redoubled her swimming efforts but onlly succeeded in tiring herself out.
CRASH!!!