Chapter Three: Etain
"Circumstances afford me / No second chance to tell you / How much I've missed you."
VNV Nation
"Beloved"
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Darman was the epitome of male perfection. Etain's eyes lingered slowly over every inch of him, as she continued to kneel at his feet. She found the upward perspective oddly erotic; he towered over her, all hard-sculpted strength and sharply defined muscle. In many ways, he was just as imposing naked, as he was covered head to toe in his black matte armor.
She felt small and delicate next to him - but then, she always had. Etain reached out and gently traced the smooth curve of his calf with the tips of her fingers. Darman shuddered slightly underneath her touch and the young Jedi Knight suddenly started to realize the very unique power she had over him.
Darman was a warrior, engineered physically, psychologically, and mentally, for every horror of war. He didn't tremble when he held explosives in his hands. He didn't tremble when faced with droids. He didn't tremble in the face of death.
But the lightest touch of her hand could make him drop every programmed pretense. Her fingers grew more bold, as she flattened her hand against his thigh and traced the outline of his quadriceps. Darman hissed softly, as Etain began to explore the softer skin along the inside of his thigh. Once again, she felt a rush of feminine power and in the heat of the moment, she decided to be bold.
A low, guttural groan echoed across the hard, duraplast surfaces of the room, as Etain experimentally brushed the length of Darman's arousal. This was perhaps the one part of his body that wasn't covered in scars and Etain was secretly fascinated by the velvety smoothness of his skin. The feel of him grew even more firm and heavy in her hand, and her own breath caught in her throat as she smoothed her thumb along the tip of him.
The particulars of male anatomy weren't new to her, nor, even, the details of intercourse. Physiology was a basic knowledge for any Jedi youngling's core curriculum and Etain still remembered the conversation she had once had with her own Master, on human sexuality. That particular event had been painfully awkward at the time, but it had left her rather enlightened.
And, curious.
Over time, she'd heard things, had dared to have a few conversations of her own with peers, and had discovered the rather explicit delights of Zeltron erotica. She'd learned to imagine things, had learned to pleasure herself; though, recently her private fantasies had all started to feature the powerfully-built clone in front of her.
This wasn't the first time she'd touched him like this - not in the secret places of her mind, anyway. Though, Etain had to admit - the reality in front of her was far more pleasant, and more intensely awkward, than anything she'd ever imagined.
She leaned slightly forward on her knees and curled her whole hand around him. He jerked against her fingers and Etain glanced up at Darman's face, as she felt him tremble again. For a moment, she thought he'd closed his eyes, but then his lashes fluttered and she realized that he was still watching her. His chest rose and fell in a strangely erratic rhythm and his hands clenched tightly against his thighs. He didn't move, though, except to shiver exquisitely beneath her gentle touch.
Etain began to slowly stroke him, her movements caught somewhere between shy and daring. The way the muscles in his face slackened at her touch, made her daring. But, the reality of what she was doing, made her shy. It was one thing to imagine something so bold - it was another thing entirely to actually do it.
But, if there was one thing Darman could do to her, it was make her bold. She lifted her other hand and rested it against the curve of his hip, to steady herself as she cautiously familiarized herself with such awkward intimacy. He was fully aroused now and she could feel the blood throbbing hot underneath her hand. For a moment, she thought about reaching out to him through the Force, but she held herself back.
Something quietly told her "not yet. Soon, but not yet."
He began to rock his hips against her in time with her feather-light strokes. A low moan rumbled through him each time she brushed his tip and in a moment of complete whim, Etain kissed him there. She purposefully willed herself not to think about - she merely leaned in toward him and brushed him softly with her lips, trusting herself to act on impulse, for once.
"Aaaaah...Et'ika," Darman groaned, as his whole body twitched in response to her lips.
He rocked back dangerously on his heels and he seemed oddly unsteady. Trembling fingers reached out, as if on impulse, and tangled themselves firmly into her hair. Etain gasped softly as he pulled a little too hard along her scalp, but she didn't shrink away from his touch. She also didn't stop him as he guided her face closer toward him.
She simply closed her eyes and tried not to tremble herself, as she let him slide himself against her tongue.
She had imagined this as well - a lot more often than she was comfortable admitting to herself, even. Ever since Quiilura, she had wondered about him. About his size, about the way he tasted, about how he might feel beneath her hands, about how he might feel inside her. At first, she had tried to deny such distinctly un-Jedi sort of thoughts, but the longer she spent away from him, the harder it had been to not think about him.
In time, she had quietly succumbed to her thoughts, to her desires, to her curiosities. As a Jedi, she knew how to suppress such things when necessary - which was most of the time. She'd even been able to interact with him, so far, without throwing herself wantonly at his feet - and for that, Etain was immensely proud of herself. But, she also hadn't denied the thoughts that crept up on her in the middle of the night, or the warm rush she always felt when he'd been near her.
She had pleasured herself many times, in private, since being around Darman again. Often, while thinking of doing what she was doing now - pleasuring him.
Except for pulling her hair, he was incredibly gentle with her, probably because of his own nervousness. She could feel the tension in his arm and the way his hand shook against her scalp, but he didn't hurry her. His hips bucked from the feel of her mouth around him, but he didn't push. Considering the circumstances, Etain thought he was being a perfect gentleman - she could sense that it was costing him, though, in the way he moaned and panted.
She wrapped her hand around the base of him and pressed a part of her hand against his groin. Unlike her, he was hairless there - Etain was mildly surprised, but she didn't need to wonder why. No doubt, it was one of the many ways he'd been genetically "enhanced" and, considering what he'd been bred to do, it was probably one of the more practical modifications. His skin was smooth and unscarred there as well and Etain explored his groin and further down between his thighs with her hand, as she took what she could of him into her mouth.
He was big - long and thick. Two parts of her warred with each other. One primal side of her - the part of her that wanted to be wanton, and wicked, and wild - was oddly excited by the size of him. Like everything else about him, it was powerful, and tempting, and utterly masculine. The other primal side of her - the part of her that was still stubbornly innocent and liked it that way - was frightened. Darman was inescapably dangerous and built to be that way - Etain instinctively knew that no matter how gentle he tried to be, it was still going to hurt.
She tried not to think too much about either - temptation or danger. Even in something as basic and human as intercourse, being a Jedi could have its advantages. Even in this - something her training definitely didn't cover - she was still able to put her mental skills to use. Etain gently recognized her trepidation and her desire, quietly placed them at the back of her mind...
And focused on Darman. On now. On the feel of him - warm, smooth, hard. On the taste of him - slightly tangy, somewhat salty, just a little bit sweet. On her tongue sliding over him. On the quick pace of his breathing. On the tortured litany of curses that he growled out between clenched teeth.
Etain allowed herself to let go - just this once - and lose herself in all of it. In the sounds, the sensations, the tastes, and the feelings. She wasn't at all surprised to find that she enjoyed this, enjoyed pleasuring him. Some small sense of pride unfurled inside of her, at the thought that Darman had never allowed another person to do this to him. She was his first and Etain knew, with a Force-given certainty, that he would never share this precious vulnerability with another.
Her slow rhythm finally seemed to get the better of Dar's self-control. With a loud, startled gasp, he suddenly tightened his grip on her hair and pulled her head back. He jerked his hips back as well and Etain knew instinctively to let go of him. His hold on her hair made her gasp as well and she reached up to grab a hold of his large wrist. Her eyes immediately locked onto his and for a second, Darman just panted heavily and shook his head.
