I was into the second week of my job at the Top of the Pops, and I hadn't yet repeated the antics which had gotten me this job permanently, that first day when I spent my first day in bed with the S Club Girls and Britney Spears, the former of which have now gone their separate ways on their various solo 'careers'.
It's Friday again, bringing the usual pop acts rehearsing for tonight's shows. I watched with subdued interest, believing that what had happened the week before in the Jacuzzi wouldn't happen again. I found the list of errands I was to run pinned on the notice board with my name on the top, I grabbed the list as I headed for the door to go out for the stuff, I noticed that nearly all the artists that had rehearsed had all ordered something and some were just thoroughly bloody bizarre. The list read something like this; 3 Lucozades and three bananas for Atomic Kitten, 3 king size twixes for Kylie Minogue and very easily the weirdest request I have had to date, a bottle of champagne, a bottle of massage oil and a box of 10 condoms for Christina Aguilera.
I went about delivering the stuff to their various recipients, needless to say I didn't get very far before I got delayed. I was stood outside Christina's dressing room having left everyone else's stuff in the kitchen, bag in hand, I breathed deep and knocked, waited a minute and knocked again, I knew she was in there given the BBC had a three choice door sign on every dressing room door with IN, OUT and DO NOT DISTURB on them and IN was visible. I knocked once again and finally the door swung open revealing Christina wrapped in a towel. I stammered an apology that I didn't mean to disturb her but surprisingly she was very nice about it.
"Oh hey, sorry about that, I was in the shower and I forgot to highlight DND."
"No, I'm sorry I should have taken the hint."
I smiled, and she smiled back.
"Well are you going to stand out there all day or do you want to come in?"
I quickly realised I was stood there like a lemon and wandered inside. I chuckled to myself as I realised I was standing in the very room that I had fucked Britney and the S Club girls in one week earlier. Christina heard me and gave me a funny look. I mumbled something daft about remembering a joke. She bought it, or at least I thought she did.
"So I understand you had some fun in this room last week?"
My face went white as a sheet and my mouth started moving. Christina noticed and laughed.
"Don't worry your secrets safe with me, well I won't tell those above you anyway but I have the right to brag."
"Brag...? Brag about what?"
"You, silly"
I realised I was still holding the bag and passed it to Christina who took put the bag on the counter and removed the champagne, grabbing two glasses from a nearby cupboard on the way.
"Would you like a drink?"