"Remind me why I'm here?" Joker asked a little impatiently. "I have a ship to fly. Every moment I'm not in the cockpit this stupid AI may try something."
"This 'stupid AI' can still hear you, Jeff. If anything, she can hear you even better here, just outside of the AI core," Dr. Chakwas said. "And technically, she can try something whether you're there or not."
"I know!" Joker wailed. "Anyway, I'm all for reunions, always crying at them. But if it's a one, what is he doing here? No offense."
"None taken," the salarian replied. "Although indeed, I'm also wondering why I am at this little gathering: all old friends and me. I'm not familiar with this custom."
The three friends - Joker, Dr. Chakwas, and Commander Jane Shepard - were sitting in the Normandy SR2's med bay where the latter gathered them. Accompanying them was Mordin Solus, a professor recently recruited on Omega. A space station being the galaxy's resident wretched hive of scum and villainy, coincidentally located in the same system as the mass relay leading to collectors' homeworld.
"I need your help, all of you," Shepard explained. She was standing in the middle of the room with arms crossed over her big boobs. Being 7 feet tall, she towered over the three other people. "I..." Her voice trembled. "I have this heavy weight on my chest and I really need to share it with someone."
"We're here for you," Chakwas said, gently touching Jane's elbow. "You can always count on us."
The elder doctor's maternal expression and kind smile immediately soothed the commander.
"Thank you." She smiled back. "I invited Mordin because my problem is of a medical nature. His scientific background may come in handy in addition to your physician experience."
"What's an emergency then?" Mordin asked. "Are you dying? No, had just been rebuilt. Caught a blight on Omega? No, it wasn't affecting humans and had already been cured. Scale-itch? No, too sexually attractive to resort to such a thing."
"Ugh, gross!" Joker commented after the last two sentences. Jane only smiled - she'd already gotten used to Mordin getting lost in his line of thoughts. She liked to listen to his fast-spoken rants.
"No, nothing like that," Shepard finally said, getting serious. "It's... well, maybe I'll just show you."
She then straightened up and reached for her belt; she unfastened it and unzipped her pants. Next, she took a deep breath and with one swift motion slid down both her cargo pants and boxers. The clothes bundled around her ankles, but no one in the room was looking there.
Because without her pants, Shepard's new cock came into view. It hung low between her legs, proudly presenting its length and girth, both dimensions impressive even when it was flaccid. Two huge balls rested underneath like a pair of lurking beasts.
All Shepard's companions had been looking at her cock with different expressions: Mordin with curiosity, Jeff with shock, and Karin with something that was hard to decipher.
"Holy shit, Commander!" Jeff exclaimed when he regained his breath. "You never said you have a dick! Even more, that you're packing! How are we common folks supposed to compete with THAT?!"
Shepard breathed out stealthily. She feared that her friends may react with disgust or repulsion. Joker's reaction - although humorous - was rather positive.
"It's not like that, Jeff," Dr. Chakwas said. Her voice sounded a little off, and her eyes were glued to the huge appendage. "I examined the commander multiple times, patched her up... She didn't have a penis."
"Correct. Originally I didn't," Jane confirmed. "But Cerberus gave me this thing when they rebuilt me."
"The question arises: why?" Mordin cut in. "To tease you? Makes no sense, they want your help. Stimulate production of testosterone? No need, you're already strong and assertive enough."
"The Illusive Man..." Jane gulped loudly. "Want me to 'produce a new line of humanity champions', as he put it."
"Forget what I said earlier.
That
is gross," Joker commented. "Why the fuck did you agree to work with him after that? We should cut it off right now!"
"We can't do that. Those colonies are still being abducted, countless lives are on the line." Chakwas said, this time trying to look everywhere but on Shepard's cock. Her grey eyes finally fell onto Shepard's green. "Thank you, Jane, for entrusting us with this. But I have a feeling it's not everything."
"No. And this is where Mordin fits in, " the commander replied. "I need you two to check me. Check... it." She pointed at the appendage. "A Cerberus' doctor said it's a fully functional penis. But I need to know if nothing extra was added."
"Like what?" Jeff asked.
"I don't know, something fucked up. Like, my sperm being toxic to aliens to prevent me from ever spilling it anywhere but into a human vagina or something like that."
"Yeah, he could do that, sick bastard," Joker said. "But, it's way above my pay grade, or my knowledge level. If you want porn with a futa, I can provide it. If you want to check one, well, I'd be a liability. Gonna get back to the cockpit."