(This series is pure fantasy. Please enjoy it as such.)
Our latest matchup at Celebrity Sexfights was a special request coming from one of our top investors. He wanted us to try to get two beautiful women he grew up watching on TV that were the subject of many of his fantasies. Crystal Bernard, the cute restaurant manager from the hit comedy show Wings, and Janine Turner, the lovely short-haired brunette from Northern Exposure.
Needless to say, I was more than willing to try making his wish come true. I had a huge crush on Crystal myself, falling for her sassy attitude and gorgeous looks, especially her rosy cheeks and shoulder length sandy blonde hair. Her sexy Texas accent also added to her southern charm.
Janine Turner was another beauty from a popular television show. Her role as the strong independent Alaskan bush pilot made her the subject of many young men's dreams. Probably quite a few young women as well, with her cute androgynous look.
Once again, Sarah Silverman was on hand as the official, giving the boisterous crowd an extra treat, dressed in her skimpy black and white striped referee's bikini. The sexy comedienne paraded around the ring, getting the crowd all lathered up by flaunting her curvaceous body, shaking her nice tushy and jiggling her luscious tits.
Sarah introduced the two former television stars, who were also gracious enough to compete in very revealing bikinis.
Janine entered the arena first, waving to the crowd, who gave a standing ovation as she walked down the aisle, showing off her nice fit body in a bright white two-piece bathing suit.
Not far behind her was Crystal, showing off her curvaceous figure in a flowered yellow
bikini. The appreciative crowd continued with the ovation, cheering loudly as the two lovely ladies squared off in the ring.
Not only were these women good looking back in the 90s, they both looked amazing today as sexy milfs in their 60s. Janine's short boyish hairstyle that she made famous on Northern Exposure was only slightly longer, curling around her ears. I think the back of a woman's neck can be so sexy, and Janine was a perfect example. Her short hair looked great on her.
Crystal looked great too. Her sandy blonde hair was cut a bit shorter than it was back when she starred on Wings, but not quite the same as her counterpart. She also had some plastic surgery that was barely noticeable, sporting a new narrower nose. Thank God she still has her rosy cheeks and those cute little dimples.
As beautiful as the two smiling actresses were, along with their pleasant personalities, there was a certain intensity in the air, with the controversial sexfight format. They were bitter rivals back in the 90s and tried to hide the fact that they really didn't care for each other. Both women wanted desperately to win, which made for an interesting match.
Sarah Silverman tried to build on the two contestant's dislike for each other, interviewing them before the big match. She started with Janine Turner.
"Janine, what do you think you have to do to come out on top in tonight's match?"
"Well Sarah....I think I've kept myself in great shape, whereas my opponent has put on a few pounds over the years. Hopefully I can use that to my advantage and wear her down."
Janine didn't lack any confidence as she got in a little dig on her rival. She wasn't wrong though. She was in fantastic shape, looking more like someone in their twenties than their sixties. Crystal looked good too, but she had some added weight on her hips, looking much more curvaceous than she did thirty years ago.
Sarah followed up on Janine's disrespect for her opponent, asking the short-haired brunette a follow up question.
"If you win tonight's match here at Celebrity Sexfight, how are you going to punish the loser?"
"Well Sarah...I've watched a few of the previous matches, and the strapon dildo looks intriguing. I wouldn't mind strapping it on and giving the Texas slut a good fucking."
The crowd was hooting and hollering at her response, realizing that Janine just drew a line in the sand, challenging her rival.
Sarah couldn't wait to get a reaction from Crystal, who was in the opposite corner with her arms folded, scowling, barely able to control the rage building up inside.
"Crystal, Janine says she has an advantage tonight because she's in shape and you're not. What do you plan to do in tonight's match to prove her wrong, and come away with a victory?
Crystal grabbed the microphone, staring directly at Janine as she gave her answer.
"If that skinny bitch thinks I'm overweight, maybe I'll just have to sit my fat ass on her face!"
The crowd roared at her response, hoping that the sexfight would live up to the pregame trash talking. But Crystal wasn't finished.
"I'm gonna show that bitch that you don't mess with Texas!"
Again the crowd cheered, especially those from the Lone Star state that were clearly on Crystal's side. Sarah interrupted to ask one final question.
"If you win tonight, do you agree with Janine in strapon consequences for the loser?"
Her answer couldn't be more clear.