(This series is pure fantasy. Please enjoy it as such.)
We've been lucky with some of the stars that have agreed to perform here at Celebrity Sexfights. Anna Kendrick, Emma Stone, Jamie Lee Curtis, Amy Poehler & Tina Fey, Kat Dennings, Kaley Cuoco and Sarah Silverman are just a few of the hot celebrities that have given us some memorable performances. We've also had some popular reality tv stars, with girls from Survivor and Storage Wars competing as well.
One of my favorites was a matchup ripped from the tabloids, where former ice skating queens Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan renewed their rivalry with an intense sexual catfight.
This week we had a rather unique pairing. Olympic Gold medalist Shawn Johnson would be taking on actress/screenwriter Mindy Kaling. Instead of having two slender long legged stars, we had these two short and chubby cuties.
It was a rather interesting story how we came up with this matchup. It happened by accident. I had a one o'clock appointment scheduled for each of them on back to back days at my office downtown. Shawn got the dates mixed up, and came in a day early. It happened to be a day where I was late getting back from lunch, and returned to find them both sitting in the waiting room.
I interviewed them at the same time, and before we even started they suggested we let them compete together. They were both a bit nervous about the sexual side of our sport. While chatting in the waiting room, they were under the impression they were being pitted against each other, simply because they were the only two women there. After finding out that their being there at the same time was just a fluke coincidence, because of Shawn having marked the wrong date on her calendar, they just looked at each other giggling, before mutually agreeing to get in the ring together.
It was kind of awkward interviewing both women together. Usually there are personal questions about some of their interests or limitations when it comes to sex.
I asked if they had any reservations about performing nude in front of a live audience. They both looked at each other, before Mindy responded that she thought it would be fun. Shawn agreed, confessing that the thought of it turned her on.
I asked them if they've seen any of the other matches, and what they thought. Mindy was quick to respond, saying she had a subscription to our website, and has seen every single one. She added that she liked the confrontation and seeing the sexy side of everyone involved.
I posed the same question to Shawn, who admitted that she and her husband were big fans also, and have seen most episodes.
When I asked which one was her favorite, she responded that she liked the food fight between Kelly Ripa and Rachael Ray.
Mindy chimed in that she liked the match between Jennifer Esposito and Leah Remini, saying that she loved watching Leah take it up the ass.
When I asked if she was into anal, and if it was something she was willing to do, she suddenly quieted down, squirming in her seat, looking over at Shawn to see if she had a reaction. All Shawn did was raise her eyebrows, indicating that she might be interested. Neither of them was willing to say out loud that they would do it.
I put them at ease, not expecting an answer right away. I told them what I was thinking for a possible scenario.
"Here's what I had in mind: You would each enter the arena in robes instead of the traditional skimpy bikinis. The match would be a topless battle, and you would each take off your robes to pose in nothing but your panties. The match could be for strapon consequences, with anal for the loser. Is that something you would be willing to do?"
Both women looked at each other, smiling bashfully at the kinky request.
"I don't know if I could do that." Mindy confessed. "I don't even let my husband go back there."
Shawn was a little more open to the idea, saying she might be willing to try it. When she noticed that Mindy was surprised by her reply, staring over at her in jaw dropping shock, she casually encouraged Mindy to give it a try.
"Oh C'mon, Mindy! You said yourself you liked it when Leah took it up the ass. Let's do it. I'll put my ass on the line if you will."
Mindy put her hands over her eyes, tapping her feet on the floor, struggling to give an answer.
"Oh My God!! I can't believe I'm doing this!"
"Yes, I'll do it."
"But it's only for the loser, right? The winner wears the strapon, doesn't she?"
Long story short, that's where we're at this week, with Shawn Johnson and Mindy Kaling putting their asses on the line in a topless sexfight, with the winner earning the right to strap it on.
We talked Jimmy Kimmel into returning as our guest emcee. The controversial talk show host was a big fan of Celebrity Sexfights, often promoting it on his late night show. He gladly accepted the offer, probably hoping that he could get in on the action like he did last time he was the emcee, when he got a blowjob on stage from Miley Cyrus.
With another raucous crowd cheering him on, he opened up the show by introducing our two lovely sexfighters.
"Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to Celebrity Sexfights!"
"You're in for a treat tonight as we have a match with strapon consequences!"
The audience cheered wildly at the thought of seeing their favorite celebrities compete with some kinky sex toy action on the line.
"That's right. Two beautiful women squaring off in a battle for sexual supremacy, with the winner earning the right to strap it on."
Again the crowd roared with approval, eager for things to get underway.