(This series is pure fantasy. Please enjoy it as such.)
Hello everybody! We're back for another exciting episode of Celebrity Sexfights, where you favorite stars will battle for sexual supremacy.
Last week we had a classic thriller, with Sarah Silverman outlasting Amy Schumer in a huge upset. Tonight we hope to have another exciting matchup, with chic Indy movie star Parker Posey set to take on cute Australian actress Isla Fisher.
When I first heard these two cuties were going to join us, I thought it would be great to have some younger girls competing. I was absolutely floored when I was told that Isla was 47 years old, and Parker, unbelievably, was 54. It's like a was watching her in PartyGirl just yesterday. How time flies.
We've spoken to both lovely ladies earlier backstage to get their thoughts on tonight's matchup.
Me: I'm here with Australian actress Isla Fisher, star of such hits as Wedding Crashers and Now You See Me, who's agreed take on a more controversial role, battling Parker Posey in a sexfight.
Tell me Isla, what made you decide to join us and compete in a format with such a sexual theme to it?
Isla: Well Anton, I've always been somewhat of a sexpot, and after watching a few sexfight videos on PornHub with my husband (Sasha Baron Cohen), we decided it would be fun. He encouraged me to give it a try.
Me: What is your strategy to come out on top in tonight's match?
Isla: I've watched the other fights, and the girls were all much bigger than Parker and myself. So being the sexpot that I am, I hope to make it more sexual and less physical than the previous matches.
Me: What will you do if you win? Do you have any special plans to celebrate your victory?
Isla: Well I can tell you one thing: I won't be peeing on anybody like Sarah did. I've talked to Parker, and we've agreed to strapon consequences. So WHEN I win, I look forward to pounding Parker's pussy with a big black cock!
Me: Ooh! Strapon sex! Sounds hot! Good Luck tonight.
We also spoke with Parker Posey earlier, and here's what she had to say.
Me: We're here with everybody's favorite indy movie star, Parker Posey from such classics as Dazed and Confused and Party Girl.
Let me ask you, Parker: What made you decide to compete in such a racy thing as a sexfight?
Parker: That's an easy one, Anton. $100,000 sealed the deal for me.
Me: What's your strategy in tonight's matchup that will give you the edge against your opponent, Isla Fisher?
Parker: I've been friends with Isla for a long time, and I know she's very climactic. If I can get her juices flowing early, I shouldn't have any problem coming out on top.
Me: You sound pretty confident. Isla informed us that this match will have strapon consequences. Do you plan on strapping it on if you win?
Parker: Absolutely! That was my idea! I'd like nothing more than to stick my big dong in her tight pink pussy. Or maybe her cute little tushy. It depends on what kind of mood I'm in.
Me: Wow! That sounds incredibly hot. Good luck in tonight's match.
There you have it, folks. a match with strapon consequences between two sexy stars. Can't wait! Another capacity crowd is on hand to witness what could possibly be our best match yet. Sexy redhead Isla Fisher will be putting her petite hot body on the line against America's favorite party girl, Parker Posey.
The sellout crowd was on its feet as our first sexfighter made her way down the runway. Bubbly little Aussie Isla Fisher was all smiles, waving to the appreciative fans, showing off her cute little bod in a revealing lime green string bikini. She blew more kisses to the crowd upon entering the ring.
Next up was dark-haired beauty Parker Posey, showing off her body as well. She was also wearing a string bikini, this one was jet black, matching her medium length hair that was tied back in a messy bun. Her ensemble contrasted with the pale white skin she was flaunting, with just a hint of flab on her hips, still pretty respectable for someone in their fifties.
As Parker entered the ring, she flashed her opponent a mischievous smile, knowing they were both going to be some naughty girls.