I'm Jason Connors, I use to just be the average writer down at the Daily News, but ever since my very public relationship with Natalie Portman, I had been turned into a full time celebrity interviewer. Well, actually, in truth I was briefly fired but when Natalie offered to give me the names of several hot shot celebrity managers, I was back in the game, this time I'm a celebrity interviewer.
*
Ok, a little update. I'm still juggling my job and two actresses, Natalie Portman and Reese Witherspoon. And it's about to get worse with Reese planning on taking her holiday in New York so there's a recipe for disaster. I have to tell Natalie that something is going on with me and Reese and I have to tell Reese that I'm actually still in a relationship with Natalie. Now back to my job. My boss seems to want the facts on the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie which means I gotta get an interview with someone working on it. At least this time I don't have to rely solely on Natalie to get me the interview, I actually have the Daily News behind me however Natalie did end up getting me the interview as she had worked with Keira Knightley on Star Wars Episode I. Although when she did get me the interview, I got the feeling she was hiding something. It was as if she really was looking forward to me interviewing Keira, I have no idea why. Anyway, I've been waiting for a while now and finally Keira and the director, Gore Verbinski is available. I actually have no idea what the Keira Knightley is doing in New York but I didn't ask questions...ok fine, I couldn't be stuffed finding out. Anyway, the plan is that I'm going to interview Keira while my colleague will interview Verbinski. And in case you're wondering, I made sure I was the one who interviewed Keira.
I was currently sitting in my office chatting to my assistant Olivia. I still had several hours before I was scheduled to meet Keira so I decided to fill that time with small talk. Olivia was one of the few people in the office who was still incredibly star struck every time she saw Natalie Portman walk into the office. I think I've officially become known in the office as "that guy who knows Natalie Portman". But Natalie won't be coming today as she has to do some re-shoots for her new film. Anyway, Olivia was currently quizzing me about my whole situation.
'So Jason, how are you and Ms Portman.'
'Ms Portman? You know, you're older than her so I think Natalie will do.'
'Fine then, how are you and Natalie?'
'Good.'
'Care to elaborate?' she asked with a look of annoyance on her face.
'Not really,' I said in a disinterested tone.
'Are you guys... you know.'
I looked at her with a wry smile on my face.
'Just say it Olivia.'
'Are you guys doing it?'
'What are you, 5 years old? You don't have to refer to sex as "doing it"'
'Well?'
'Of course.'
'Oh, you're so lucky. Oh, I forgot to ask you. How the hell did you get Reese Witherspoon to give you her number.'
'We're just friends.'
'Just friends? No flirting or anything?'
'Mild flirting. Nothing serious,' I lied.
'Are you going to try getting it on with her too?'
I looked at her like one would to a disobedient child. I did my best at a mean scorn but somehow I don't think it worked.
'You know, I've only known you for 1 month and you're already quizzing me about my sex life. Get back to work.'
'I don't have any.'
'Why?'
'I'm your assistant. I help you with your work but you haven't done any.'
I paused for a moment. I really don't want to do any work. Listen to me, I sound like some little school boy complaining about homework. I looked up at Olivia and said.
'Who do you think is prettier out of the two, Natalie Portman or Reese Witherspoon?'
'Reese. But don't let me influence your decision.'
'Who says I'm trying to make a decision?'
'It's very obvious.'
We sat there for a while longer trying to debate who was better out of Natalie and Reese. We didn't come to a decision; I just put it out of my mind and focused on the issue at hand, the Keira Knightley interview. I came to her hotel and was greeted with a warm, friendly hug. She was awfully casual about the whole thing and wore a tank top and denim shorts that came only mid-way down her thighs. She was acting almost like we were good friends.
'Hi Jason. How's Natalie, haven't seen her for ages,' she said in that British accent of hers.
'She's good, doing re-shoots.'
'Shame, I was hoping to catch up with her.'
'I was just talking to her on the phone. She's arriving back in a few days.'
'Cool, it'll be great to see her again. So you're her new man huh,' she said sitting down on top of the table.
I placed my briefcase on the ground and took a seat.
'Yep. You wouldn't happen to know how I match up to her old boyfriends do you?'
Keira chuckled and replied. 'Your much better than most of them. Her boyfriends were always one of two kinds. Wanting her because she was Natalie Portman or the other kind which is, how should I say, a bit too flamboyant to be straight. You seem like the most normal.'
'Thank you.'
'Hm, Natalie and I always did have the same taste in guys.'
I paused for a moment and thought about what she just said before asking.
'I wasn't aware you and Natalie were such good friends. You know, you living in England and all.'
'Most of what I know about her is from our days in Star Wars during makeup. You'd be surprised how long it took to put all that crap on our faces. Must be hard for her with you interviewing so many celebrities.'
'How so?'
'You mean you don't flirt with some of those female actresses?'
'A bit, but I'm surprised you'd draw that conclusion.'
'I'm sorry, am I being too forward?' she smiled.
'No, I mean yes but I don't mind. It's a refreshing change.'
I was getting very uncomfortable now. She was definitely coming onto me, and she wasn't being subtle about it too. But I did manage despite this to get the interview going. And for the whole time, Keira just kept relenting with the flirting. She would start running her hands over parts of her body, rubbing her leg against mine, saying some very flirtatious things. I actually got an erection midway through the interview but I managed to control myself. It was a very tense 30 minutes ever.