Buffy got home late from patrol, feeling grimy and sweaty from her fights, the heat lingering and burning like the few tastes of beer she'd had. She couldn't stop thinking about what she'd seen. Willow and Xander and Cordelia... it was a strange pairing. A strange pairing and a half. As if Xander and Cordelia weren't weird enough, throw Willow into the mix. Her and Cordelia, yeesh. What was it with her friends and that...
cheerleader?
She thought they'd all agreed she was horrible.
Well, I guess we didn't agree she didn't have awesome boobs.
Her mother was in the kitchen, sitting at the table, head down on her arms as she got a massage from Buffybot.
"Hey mom," Buffy said. "Ultron."
"Buffy," Joyce replied, eyes still closed in enjoyment of Buffybot's chopping hands. "I left some food for you in the crockpot. You're lucky, I was going to fridge it just as soon as Buffybot finished up."
"Massage theoretically has health benefits, but cannot be said to be scientifically valid due to the impossibility of placebo-based and double-blind clinical trials," Buffybot said.
"I still don't think I sound like that," Buffy said, grabbing a bowl from the cupboard.
"How was patrol?" Joyce asked.
"Fine." Buffy helped herself to a small portion. Fighting always gave her an appetite, and she overcompensated by not going in on a full plate, not wanting to gorge herself halfway through and then have to finish the meal. Plus, it was her mother's cooking. "I saw Willow having a threesome with Xander and Cordy."
"Cordelia Chase?" Joyce asked, lifting her head. "Well, Xander I can understand, those two have always been, uhh, what's the Spanish—"
"Simpatico!" Buffy said with flair.
"Yes, that. But I thought Cordelia was something of a, you know—"
"Heinous bitch?" Buffybot offered. "Total ho? Stunning cunt?"
Joyce pushed her hands away. "Thank you, Buffybot, that's enough. Why don't you draw a bath for Buffy? She stinks."
"
Mooom!"
"I'm sorry, dear, but it's true. Heaven knows what smells you pick up walking through a graveyard, grappling with dead things—I don't know how the goths put up with it. If I have to do your laundry, the least you can do is have a good soak."
"I do my own laundry!" Buffy protested.
"You mean when it doesn't mysteriously disappear from your floor and reappear in your dresser?"
"I thought that was Buffybot."
"Please. I can't trust her to separate whites from colors. That's what happens when you let a man build a robot. Once he's got the boobs right, he's satisfied..."
Buffy paused a moment as she heard water rumbling from the bathtub's faucet, sloshing into the tub. She sucked on her spoon, then pulled it from her mouth. "Don't you think it's a little odd that Willow and Cordelia and Xander had a threesome?"
"How so, sweetie?"
"I don't know. Just strikes me as weird, somehow."
"Well, Buffybot may have had your friend Cordelia's number, but—teenage hormones. I got into all sorts of trouble when I was their age."
"Still..." Buffy tilted her head quizzically. "You don't think there's
anything
wrong with this picture?"
"Maybe you're just a teensy bit jealous?" Joyce theorized sing-songedly. "Just remember, they don't have a Buffy. Or a Buffybot, hint hint."
"
Mooom!"
"What? It's what she's there for. Enjoy it. I heard all you kids are supposed to practice self-love."
Buffy rolled her eyes as Joyce snickered at her own joke, undressing and heading for the bathtub.
"Baths aren't as hygienic as showers, but are more relaxing. Organics enjoy being filthy," Buffybot said, standing dutifully by the steaming tub. "We shouldn't let this water cool. It's just the right temperature. I'll take good care of you."
She helped Buffy as she stepped into the hot water, then Buffy sank down and felt the engulfing warmth soothe her flesh. Something about the threesome she'd witnessed still bothered her, but she was conscious of her tension draining away. Eyes shut, Buffy leaned back and savored the situation in all its aspects. Joyce was right. She should take advantage of having a Buffybot.
"Buffybot, I don't want your clothes to get wet too," Buffy said. "Why don't you take them off?"
A zipper hissed, and Buffy smiled at the noise. She opened her eyes to watch as Buffybot's maid's uniform slipped to the floor. A black bra and filmy black panties competed to be as erotic as her skimpy French maid outfit had been. True, the sight made Buffy think of her exclusively as a lover now, not just a maid or a cleaning lady, but something turned her on about sleeping with the help. Hot little tongues of excitement licked at her under the water. Her own long, lean figure looked so much better when it wasn't hers, when she didn't have to worry about it. No scars, no fat, no muscle, just a reflection.
"I enjoy taking my clothes off." Buffybot had her shoes off and was working on her stockings now, baring her legs. A moment later she reached behind her back to undo the bra. "I like being naked. Do you think I'll have to put my clothes back on?"
"Probably," Buffy said, knowing it would make her double pout.
Buffybot's breasts tumbled into view, hard-nippled and alluringly rounded. Buffy's clit tingled, watching as Buffybot proceeded with no inhibitions whatsoever. She skinned out of her panties, gathered up all her clothes into a neat pile on the hamper. Bending down and straightening up and putting her nakedness on display from every angle without any sign of shame.
"Now wash me," Buffy ordered.