Big Bang Theory Season 08 Ep. 01

Author's note: The series continues with this season 8, episode 1. The series doesn't reset, but follows the show's story sequence. The added episodes are incorporated into the 8th season.

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Sheldon woke up in Kingman, Arizona; he was robbed of everything except for the clothes on his back. Even the pants he was wearing that evening were taken, leaving him with the shirt on his back, jockey underwear and one sock. After imploring several travelers at the train station, the police was summoned and he was taken to the police station where he called Leonard for assistance,

Over the summer, Penny chopped off most of her hair and unknown to Sheldon; she could pass for Leonard's sister-in-law, Sally Hofstadter's body double. She was in the living room as Leonard came out of the bedroom. She was doing yoga and asked if he wanted to join her.

He was checking his phone as he shuffled over to the kitchen, "Uh, let me just have some coffee first and then I'll have the strength to tell you how much I won't be doing that." He picked up the coffee pot when his phone chimed, "Hello?"

It was Sheldon, "Hello, Leonard."

"Hey, buddy, good to hear your voice."

"I'm in Kingman, Arizona and, uh, I need you to come pick me up."

"Leonard looked towards Penny, "I'd love to, but I'm just about to do yoga with Penny."

She was in the middle of an exercise and gave him a dirty look.

"Leonard, I'm in a police station. I was robbed. They took my phone, my wallet, my iPad, everything."

Penny came over to the kitchen counter to listen in, "Oh my God, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay. I'm wearing borrowed pants, I don't have ID and one of the officers here won't stop calling me "Chicken Legs."

"Okay, I'll come get you. What's the address?"

Penny looked concerned, "Hey, what's going on?"

Leonard put his hand over the phone, "He got all his stuff stolen." He copied down the address and repeated it back, "Okay, just hang tight. Hey, you want me to bring anything?"

"Yes, please a pair of pants and my toothbrush."

"Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can."

Penny looked concerned, "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine, just a little rattled. Feel like driving to Arizona with me?"

"I can't, I have that job interview. Besides, I don't need six hours of: "Your hair is different. Why did you change your hair? I'm holding my breath until your hair grows back."

He chuckled, "All right, fine. Hey, can you think of a reason I shouldn't invite Amy to come with me?"

She shook her head, "Nope!"

"Come on, you didn't even try." He called Amy and she agreed to go with him.

After he left, Penny called her, "Hey Amy, seeing Beverly gave you that catch phrase maybe you should wear some of your Victoria Secret underwear. On the way back, try it out on Sheldon, who knows, you may get lucky."

She scoffed, "Fat chance, why didn't he call me instead of Leonard. If I use the catch phrase on him; what about Leonard?"

Penny chuckled, "Listen, he's seen you naked enough times over the summer, hell, who knows you may get your chance at both of them. I don't mind, as long as you share Sheldon with me when he gets back. I sorta missed that big cock of his. Leonard is great, but he can't compare with Sheldon's equipment."

Amy giggled, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Leonard filled the void while Sheldon was gone, but didn't fill all of it. Okay, if I see an opening, I'll try it."

Penny chuckled, "See an opening, isn't that what Sheldon's supposed to say? Have fun and keep me posted."

Leonard picked up Amy, "Thanks again for coming. Six hours was gonna be a long drive by myself."

"My pleasure; I'm not angry that my boyfriend was in trouble and called you instead of me. I love that."

He saw she was pissed, "Yeah, time's gonna fly by."

She wanted to pay Sheldon back for his inconsideration. She slid over and ran her hand up and down his leg, "How about a little distraction Leonard. Why don't you unzip your pants and I'll release a little tension I've noticed in the car. Heaven knows what it will be like once Sheldon's back in our lives."

Leonard knew it would be okay with Penny, the three of them were real close over the summer. He unzipped his pants and arching his butt off the seat, he pushed his pants down to his knees.

Amy removed her glasses and leaned over. She tugged his boxers down and her long silky hair floated over his thighs. She became rather proficient at sucking cock. Penny taught her well. She drew him into her mouth and he wasn't hard yet. She swallowed him whole and her tongue darted out and tickled his nut sack. She had to pull back as he sprung up rather quickly. She used her hand and stroked him and popped off of him, "Please keep the car on the road Leonard. We don't need to get in an accident with your dick halfway down my throat."

He kept the car steady and used one hand to guide her up and down on his cock. He released her head and managed to unbutton her blouse and pull down her lacy bra cup. He tweaked her nipple as she sucked him harder.

"Oh yeah Leonard, you know what I love. I want you to spill your hot semen down my throat; it will serve Sheldon right for calling you and not me."

Leonard let out a grunt, "Teeth Amy, watch your teeth. Just remember you're pissed at Sheldon, don't take it out on me." He let out a moan as she used her lips and tongue and sucked him harder.

She bobbed up and down at a furious pace. Her tongue whipped around, "Come on Leonard, give it to me, I wanna drink down your hot load." She flicked her tongue all around and stroked him harder.

Leonard let out a groan and started to spurt. He sent volley after volley of hot cream down her throat and she learned over the summer how to suck and swallow at the same time. She didn't miss a drop. She sat back up, readjusted her bra and blouse and licked her lips, "Mmmm, that was exactly what I needed. Maybe when I kiss Sheldon, he'll be able to smell and taste your sperm on my breath and tongue.

Leonard chuckled, "I have to say Amy, you've learned a lot over the summer. Who knows, maybe the four of us can do a little swapping. I would love to see Sheldon and Penny together. I wouldn't mind having him watch the two of us."

She watched as he struggled to get his pants closed, "Yeah, who knows what he's like now. I heard from your mother he's been seeing other women. I don't like that but what can I say after being with you and Penny. Hell I even had a threesome with Raj and Emily."

Back at Bernadette's apartment, Penny was dressed for her interview. She was interviewing for a sales job at the pharmaceutical lab where Bernadette worked. She took a cup of coffee from Bernie, "I haven't been on a job interview in years. I'm getting really nervous."

Bernie took a sip of her coffee, "Don't be, you were built for pharmaceutical sales. You're cute, you're flirty, you're going to be fine.

Penny's extremely short hair was cute and it conformed to her pretty face. She was dressed in a silky white blouse. It was untucked and covered half of her tight ass. She was wearing a pair of black slacks and a matching black blazer over it. The blouse was unbuttoned to her large breasts, showing a lot of cleavage, it couldn't hurt during her interview. She looked to Bernie, "I don't have any experience in sales, unless you count the bikini car wash I did in high school, but you already made me take that off my resume."

Bernadette looked amazing. Her golden blonde hair hung down in waves and her gypsy dress hung off her shoulders showing even more cleavage than Penny did. She took another sip of her coffee and looked at Penny over the top of her cup, "This job is a lot like being a waitress. Except, instead of pushing fish tacos because they'll about to go bad, you're pushing our antidepressants before the FDA finds out that may cause rectal bleeding."

Penny was stunned, "They do?"

Bernadette shrugged, "Maybe, like our lawyers say, "The world is full of things that can cause a rectum to bleed." I talked you up to Dan. He'll be interviewing you."

"Ugh, I really appreciate this; I just hope I'm not in over my head."

"You'll be fine, just be yourself. You need to calm down and relax. What time is your interview?"

It's not until 2 PM, I have a few hours. I just wish I felt more confident."

"I wouldn't have put you up for this if you couldn't handle it. Now come on over to the sofa and relax. You need to release some of your anxiety."

The two of them sat on the sofa and Bernadette began massaging Penny's shoulders. Penny let out a long sigh and leaned back into the massage. Her back was pressing into Bernie's large, firm breasts.

Bernie continued to massage her neck, "Why don't you remove your blazer, it will be a lot easier to loosen the muscles in your neck and shoulders. She did and Bernie continued to massage Penny's neck. Her hands drifted lower and before long, Bernie's hot breath was on Penny's neck. She lips made contact and began kissing and nipping at her bare neck since her hair was so short now.

Penny rolled her head around and looked deep into Bernie's eyes. Her arms came up and wrapped around Bernie's head and tugging at her, their lips met in a chaste kiss. The kiss grew stronger and Penny released Bernie's head and deftly unbuttoned the remaining buttons on her blouse. She giggled, "Don't wanna get it all wrinkled before my important interview."

Bernie's hands ran from Penny's shoulders down to her captive breasts. Her hands cupped the lacy demi-bra and Bernadette's thumbs flicked back and forth across Penny's stiffening nipples. She attacked Penny's neck and moved to the nape and across to her shoulders. Her hands managed to open the bra clasp and Penny wiggled her shoulders, removing the skimpy article of clothing.

Penny shifted on the sofa and pulled at the elastic on Bernie's dress and she let out a gasp when her bountiful tits bounced free. Without a bra on, Penny leaned in and their huge tits squashed together. Penny pushed aside Bernadette's wavy locks from her neck and gave her the same treatment Bernie just gave her.

They parted briefly and Bernadette stood and tugged at Penny's wrist, "Let's take this to the bedroom where we can stretch out." She led the way and when she got to the large unmade bed, she pushed her dress off her tiny bubble butt and skimmed out of her panties. She scrambled onto the bed, pushing the sheets aside. She sat back and watched as Penny kicked off her shoes.

Penny reached back and unzipped her tapered, tailored slacks and slipping them off, she folded them nearly, again not wanting to wrinkle them. She shimmied out of her thong and placed one knee on the bed. She slid across the crumpled sheets and was poised between Bernie's tiny, but shapely legs. She inhaled her scent and licked her bright pink lips, "Mmmm, you were right Bernadette; this will really take the edge off and relax me. I just hope I don't spend too much time here and miss my interview."

Bernie chuckled, "Oh, I'll make sure we're done in time. I'll even let you use my shower to freshen up afterwards. Now get down there and show some appreciation for getting you this interview."

Penny let out a growl and planted her lips directly over Bernie's tight lipped pussy. She used her thumbs to separate those lips and looking down; she smiled when she saw her bright pink inner lips glistening in her slimy juices. Her tongue darted on and flicked back and forth. She extracted a good amount of slime and swallowed it down. She returned and focused on Bernie's clit.

Bernie began humping her face and clutching at her short blonde hair. Bernie fisted it and pulled her tighter to her cunt. She fell back to the mattress and her golden locks billowed out around her pretty, grinning face, "Oh yes, yes Penny, just like that. I'm gonna cum soon and then I'm really gonna make you relax." Her legs encircled Penny's shoulders and tightened around her head. She humped her face and thrashed about. Her tiny ass came off the bed as she pushed harder against Penny's active tongue. She let out a gurgling sound and exploded. She showered Penny's mouth with her creamy juices and fell back to the bed. She was gasping for breath as she lovingly swept the moist bangs from Penny's forehead.

Penny unlocked her body from Bernie's limbs and flopped down beside her. She was greeted by Bernie who turned and once again captured her lips with her own. She loved licking her juices off another woman's lips and she suddenly got her second wind. She peppered Penny's face and neck with kisses, licking her juices from her chin and cheeks. She hovered over her and attacked Penny's heaving tits.

Penny squirmed around on the bed and arched her back, feeding more of her tit flesh into Bernie's tiny mouth. She wound her fingers into Bernie's thick, golden locks and suddenly she was sorry she cut her hair short. She ran her fingers through the spun gold and watched as Bernie teased and plucked away at the large nipples crowning her tits.

Bernie's saliva was dripping from them and she released the second one with a pop and giggled as she scooted downward. She could already smell Penny's musky scent and her mouth began to water. She nipped and played with Penny's taut belly and caressed her womanly hips and cupped her squirming ass. She lifted her ass and it met her waiting mouth. She began munching on Penny's pussy like it was a box lunch. She sucked on each fat lip and drew it in. Bernie teased the other lip and drew it between her lips and while she sucked on them, her tongue darted out and began exploring Penny's large juicy hole. She was rewarded with a copious amount of slick, creamy juices. She went back over and over again, but neglected Penny's aching clit. She shifted her hands and had one between her plush cheeks. She wormed her tiny fingers into Penny's puckered hole and Penny thrashed about. She loved having her butt hole played with and taught Bernie just how she liked it.

Penny was getting frustrated, her clit was begging to be sucked and played with. She closed her fingers in Bernadette's thick locks and directed her upward. She heard Bernie giggle and it pissed Penny off even more. She knew where she wanted her, but she was just teasing her.

Bernie relented and hovered over her large, ripe clit. She released a puff of cool air on it and she saw how it perked up. She knew it had to be tingling by now. She lowered her head and stabbed at the red button several times. She wormed her tongue around and around causing Penny to shiver and shake. Bernie dove in and sucked it hard between her lips. She drew it in and began sucking and flicking at the sensitive bud.

Penny rocketed off the mattress, shoving her cunt hard against Bernie's active tongue. She held her firmly and pulled one hand from beneath Penny's body and shoved two fingers as deep as she could into her juicy hole. She finger-fucked her hard and fast as she tried to hold Penny still.

Penny was cumming; she thrashed around and began to release a huge amount of cum from her juicy hole. She wrapped her squirming legs around Bernie's head as she shook and quivered. She needed this release badly and she pawed at Bernie's head as she felt her continued to suck and finger-fuck her.

Bernie finally had all she could get from her friend's juicy cunt. She broke free and slid up Penny's sweaty body.

The two blondes clung to one another and in her sexy child-like voice Bernie giggled out, "Looks like you're gonna be nice and relaxed for your interview" She slapped her playfully on her butt as Penny turned her way, "We better get up and get you showered off. I don't think Dan would appreciate smelling my pussy all over you."

Penny chuckled, "Listen, he's a man, I'm sure he'd love to smell you on me, but I need to make a good impression and that would not do it."

They climbed off the bed and hurried into the shower. They washed each other off and Bernie shampooed Penny's short haired head, "Luckily your hair is short, unlike mine, yours will dry in nothing flat."

They dried off and Bernie worked on Penny's hair. She gave her a little more body and even a couple of curls, she looked especially sexy and Bernie added a little more red lip-gloss and she looked dressed to kill.

Penny was still a little nervous, "Maybe, I should cancel."

In her Mrs. Wolowitz voice she replied, "You're not canceling, you're going and that's that!"

"I don't know anything about pharmaceuticals."

Bernie tipped her head and said sarcastically, "Oh, I understand. You wanna do something you're already good at. I know, why don't you get a job at the sitting-around-all-day-wearing-yoga-pants factory?"

Penny sat back and bit her lip and whispered out, "They're comfortable."

"Now get dressed, maybe leave off the bra and panties, it can't hurt. Like you said, Dan's a guy and it couldn't hurt."

Leonard and Amy arrived at the police station. Sheldon hopped up and ran to Leonard, "Oh, I'm so happy to see you!" He threw his arms around Leonard and hugged him, while Amy just stood there and watched."

Amy stepped close, "Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Why did you come?"

She was pissed, "What do you mean, why did I come? You're my boyfriend. I haven't seen you in over two months. I just drove six hours to help you out. Don't you have anything to say besides, "Why did you come?"

He looked around, "I do, but I feel uncomfortable saying it out loud in front of these police officers."

She thought it was gonna be something juicy, "Fine, whisper it to me."

He leaned in and whispered, "Shotgun!" He ran out of the station leaving Leonard and Amy standing there.

She looked to Leonard, "We should have stopped at that rest area like you suggested. At least you could have gotten me off the way I got you. Now we have to travel all the way home with that nutbag. Hey, maybe I can whisper the catch phrase Beverly told me, it may get him to give me what you and Raj gave me all during the summer."

Leonard looked at her, "Shelly, you're being a pain in the ass. That won't get you what you want, it may help me, but not you."

She shook her head, "No, your mother gave us a different phrase, "Shelly, you are a great lover." It's supposed to loosen his inhabitions and make us more susceptible to wanna have sex with him."

Leonard stared at her, "What do you mean she gave "US" the phrase, how else beside you?"

"Ah, I meant me."

He grabbed her arm, "Who else Amy, I know you're a horrible liar, out with it."

She looked to the police and looked back at Leonard, "Okay, she called Penny and told her too. It wasn't my idea. I think Beverly just wanted the two of us to spread it around, but I'm not telling another soul."

"Okay, let's get heading back, "Wait is that why you had that sexy bra on?"

She blushed and nodded, "Also matching panties too. That's why I'm wearing this denim skirt that zips up the front, hoping for some action on the way home."

They headed home and Amy was in the back by herself, fuming and Leonard tried to lessen the tension, "So, Sheldon, tell us about your trip. Where did you go?"

"Where didn't I go? I went to Las Vegas and met Penny's old friend Christy. I went to Chicago and went to the FBI offices and ran into the agent who interviewed us about Howard and his security clearance. I spent the week-end at her new apartment. I helped her arrange her nick-nacks and the rest of her place. I spent several days with your mother and your sister and sister-in-law. Did you know that Sally, your sister-in-law is the spittin' image of Penny? The only difference is that Sally has extremely short hair and is now pregnant, that's a story for another day, at least when we're not in mixed company."

Amy blurted out, "Wow, she looks just like Penny huh? Did you know..."

Leonard cut her-off, "Not the best time Amy, let him see for himself."