Big Bang Theory Season 07 Ep 22 24

Author's note: The series continues with this season 7, episode 22. The series doesn't reset, but follows the show's story sequence.

***

Star Wars Day was rapidly approaching and Penny was unaware it was a real thing. They had to reveal to her that May the Fourth was Star Wars Day. They had to tell her several times before it sank in and she wasn't impressed.

Their plan for Star Wars Day was interrupted with the passing of Arthur Jefferies, Professor Proton had died. Sheldon kept his emotions bottled up. What made it even worse, his funeral service was being held on Sunday, same day as Star Wars Day.

Sheldon refused to go to the funeral. He didn't wanna be around all those people blowing their noses.

On the day of the funeral, Penny came into Sheldon and Leonard's apartment. She looked extremely hot, in a black wrap around dress showing off her great legs. Her long blonde hair was straight and looked amazing.

Howard and Raj rattled off several weird drinks they had to celebrate Star Wars Day, but she shrugged them off. Raj offered her a Chai Tea-3PO."

She chuckled, "Oh I get it—like C-3PO." It dawned on her, "What happened to me?"

She sat down beside Sheldon, her dress parted and he checked out her bare legs She tried to comfort him, "Sweetie, are you sure you don't want to come with us to the funeral?"

"I appreciate the offer, but Arthur is gone and there's nothing I can do about it. When Darth Vader struck down Obi-Wan, did Luke cry like a baby and go to his funeral?"

She shook her head, "No, he blew up the Death Star." Again it dawned on her she knew too much about Star Wars, she streamed out, "Why do I know this?!"

Sheldon ignored her and continued, "Arthur Jefferies was a scientist. I'm sure he didn't care about silly superstitions like funerals. You know, if he were here, I think he'd say, "Enjoy Star Wars Day."

Penny got up to leave with Leonard, but Raj cut in, "Before you go, at least let me pack you some Attack of the Scones for the road."

She chuckled, "Oh, like Attack of the Clones!" She threw her hands up, "We are leaving right now!" It drove her crazy; she was turning into a Star Wars nerd, just like the rest of them.

At the funeral home, Penny confessed she was never at a funeral before. She didn't know anyone who died. She felt bad about Arthur dying, she told Leonard she felt like crying, but told him she couldn't; she was dry. She turned to him, "You're a big cry baby, you start and I'll try and join in."

He was upset, "I am not a cry baby."

She scoffed, "Toy Story 3?"

He blurted out, "The toys were holding hands in a furnace!" He went on and on about Arthur and got choked-up and began to cry.

It made Penny sad and she started too, "Thank you for being the emotional one in this relationship."

He really started crying now, "I got your back."

She cried out, "Yeah!"

After the funeral Leonard asked Penny, "What did you think of your first funeral?"

"Well, I don't want to be a jerk, but it was kind of a bummer. Do you think about dying?"

"Well, I think more about if I'd have any regrets"

She looked at him, taking a sip of her coffee, "What would you regret?"

"Oh, you know; that I didn't travel more, take more risks, or learn another language."

"You know Klingon."

He nodded, "That's true."

"No, I meant that is a regret."

He chuckled and nodded, "I just thought of one more."

She replied in nearly a whisper, "What's that?"

"I regret not saying "yes" when you asked me to marry you."

She tipped her head and whispered, "Well, it just wasn't the right time."

"Yeah!"

She stared at him, "And this is also not the right time. Do not propose!"

"What?"

"I know that face, that's your propose face."

"I was not gonna to propose. It's already two to one."

She scoffed, "What's two to one?"

"I proposed twice, you proposed one, two to one!"

She rolled her eyes, "Oh, my God...it's not a contest."

"I don't know what you're upset about. I'm the one who's losing."

"Okay! Fine, would you feel better if I proposed so you could turn me down again?"

He tipped his head up, "Yeah, I think I would."

She let out a deep breath, "Okay, Leonard, will you marry me?"

He stepped back and thought about it, "Hmmm..."

She got scared, "No, don't you dare! You reject me right now and tie things up."

"It's just such a big decision. I don't want to have any regrets."

They left and headed home and he kept Penny dangling about her question and she was getting really pissed. He went on and on, "On the one hand, if I say yes..."

She spat out, "This isn't funny anymore. Just say no so we're done with this. Will you marry me or not?"

He egged her on even more, "Ooooh, interesting, did you just propose to me again?"

She just glared at him, "NO!"

"Really? Because I just heard, "Will you marry me?" That's two proposals, one day. It sounds like someone wants to spend the rest of her life telling people how to spell the name Hofstadter."

She had enough of it, "You know what? Fine, do whatever you want." She looked out the passenger window."

He knew he was taking it too far, "Hey! Penny, don't get upset." He reached out and grabbed her hand, "Here, I love you, but, no, I will not marry you."

She turned towards him, "Thank you."

After Star Wars Day, things went back to normal. At the Wolowitz house, Howard purchased a treadmill for his mother. Getting it to the second floor posed a problem and when he paused to catch his breath, it slipped back down, crashing into his mother and breaking her leg.

The next day the group, minus Howard and Bernadette were having dinner in the living room. Raj explained that Mrs. Wolowitz was going to be laid up for at least six weeks.

Penny came in and Leonard called out, "Hey, how were things on the set?" He knew how Wil and she were getting it on; he kept tabs, but acted like nothing was going on.

She closed the door, "Pretty good, actually."

Raj added, "So the movie's not as bad as you thought?"

She shook her head, "Oh, no, it is, but I decided instead of complaining about it, I'm just gonna go in every day and give it my all. There's no reason why I shouldn't be the best bi-sexual go-go dancer slowly transforming into a killer gorilla anyone's ever seen."

Leonard chuckled, "I don't know. The bi-sexual gorilla go-go dancer in Schindler's List is tough to beat."

Howard and Bernie weren't there. They were waiting on his mother hand and foot and it was getting old, very, very quick. They tossed around the idea of getting an in-house caretaker, but shelved it for a couple of days.

Sheldon and Raj went to the movies and saw the movie playing in 3-D. Of course Sheldon had his own glasses, not wanting anyone else's sweat on his brow. While they were discussing that, Emily came into the lobby and Raj spotted her, "Emily, hi!"

She felt a little awkward, "Oh, hey, Raj."

"This is my friend, Sheldon. Sheldon, this is Emily."

"Oh, yes, you're the dermatologist."

"Hi, listen, I have to go, my movie is about to start."

Raj looked at her with a confused look on his face, "Are you here alone?"

She cleared her throat, "No, not really."

"What do you mean, not really?"

Just then a guy came up to her with popcorn and drinks, "Hey, we should get to our seats."

She knew it was awkward, "Yeah, it was nice seeing you. I'll call you later." They two of them left hurriedly.

Raj stood there, "Yeah, okay!"

Sheldon turned to Raj, 'My, that was awkward. Is it because she's dating you, but was out with that other fellow?"

Raj nodded, "Yes!"

"Good, I got it right for once."

Do you mind if we skip the movie Sheldon, I don't feel like sitting watching a movie for two hours knowing Emily is here with another guy?"

Sure let's go back to my place, I'll make you some tea and we'll watch something on DVD.

Once there, he made him tea and as he poured the water, he looked to Raj, "I'm curious, why are you so upset about seeing Emily with another man?"

"Wouldn't you be upset if you saw Amy out with someone else?"

"Can't happen, we have an ironclad relationship agreement which precludes her from physical contact with anyone other than me, unless I'm present and agree to it."

"To be truthful, Emily and I haven't been dating that long, and we never agreed to be exclusive to each other."

While they were at the movies, Leonard went to see Penny work on her movie and the director was a real ass. He got upset when Penny tried to re-shoot a scene and when Leonard tried defending her; the director got pissed off and fired her. Wil Wheaton tried coming in to her defense and he was fired too. It seemed like all of the remaining filming would be done with someone doing it in a full gorilla costume and Penny wasn't needed any longer.

The three of them went to a bar to drown their sorrows. She finished off another beer, "You know, the only thing worse than doing a movie where they glue monkey hair to your ass is getting fired from a movie where they glue monkey hair to your ass."

Wil cringed, "Forget it, man, it's crap. You just move on to the next thing"

Leonard went off to the bathroom; he could never hold his beer.

"Yeah, well, it's easy for you to say. You used to be famous."

"HEY, I just lost a job for you."

She rolled her eyes, "You're right, I'm sorry, you're famous. Just remember, I've been sleeping with you; that may have to end now that Leonard will be around all the time."

"Penny, it's not about being famous. It's about the art. It's about the passion we have for our craft and the same passion I have when I'm around you."

"Aw, that's nice to hear Wil."

His cell went off, "I got an audition for "Sharknado 2." If I book this, I am totally gonna pay you back for this beer."

Leonard came back, "Where did Wil go?"

"He got a call about another audition. God, what am I doing with my life?"

"Come on Penny, are you having second thoughts about acting?"

"You were on set; you say what it was like."

"Yeah, but it's not always that bad."

"Oh, really?"

"What about when you did Anne Frank at that cute little theater?"

"It was over a bowling alley."

"Yeah, but there was ample parking."

"Are you done?

"You were so good in the TV commercial."

"It was for hemorrhoid cream! Leonard, you are really not cheering me up."

"Come on, how can you be sad when you're going home with all five-foot-six of this?"

She giggled, "You think you're five-foot-six, that's funny." She tapped beers with him and finished off another one.

Back in the apartment Raj and Sheldon were on the sofa discussing Raj's women issues. Raj was still wondering what was happening, "I don't understand it. I'm a nice guy, I have a great job, I'm well-educated, come from a good family, why don't women want to be with me?"

Sheldon put down his cup, "That is an interesting question." He stood up, "Well...good night!"

"What? Don't send me home. I can't be alone right now."

"That's your problem, you can't be alone."

"What do you mean?"

Sheldon sat back down again, "How many women have you had dates with?"

He thought for a moment, "Eleven."

"How many of those women did you think would become your perfect companion?"

He thought again, "Eleven."

"Well now, so you see the problem?

He shrugged, "Maybe, I...I don't know. It's late, I...I should...I should go. Look, I do get what you're saying. Instead of desperately clinging to any woman who will go out with me, I need to work on my fear of being alone."

"Sure if that works, fine. I was just trying to get you out so I could go to bed, good night."

Raj returned to his apartment and Emily called and asked if she could come over. He agreed and waited for her to arrive. She arrived shortly after that and she knocked on his door.

Raj opened it, Hey!"

"Thanks for letting me come over."

She looked amazing, wearing a royal blue, tight pullover. It accented her red hair perfectly. Below that were black slacks and brown knee-hi boots, a total package.

He stepped back, "Of course, please, come in."

She came in and meekly replied, "I just wanted to say how sorry I am about tonight, and...I want to make sure that we're okay."

He stepped up closer to her, "Look, you and I haven't made any commitments to each other."

"I know, I just felt like I needed to explain. The guy I was with did my last tattoo, and he's been asking me out for months. I finally said yes just to get it over with."

Raj nodded, "It's okay."

"Really?"

"Well, I mean, yeah, it freaked me out a little, but that's my issue, not yours."

She shook her head and smiled, "Wow! If I saw you out with another woman, I'd be pretty upset."

He grinned and nodded, "Thank you. Not just for being upset, but for believing that could happen."

"Just so you know, I'm not seeing anyone else."

"Well, me neither."

They both replied, "Okay."

He pointed to the sofa, "Please, So, you...have tattoos?"

She sat down, "Yeah."

"I don't. I have a hole in my belly button that may or may not have been a piercing."

She nodded, "That's cool."

"It's a piercing. So...how many tattoos?"

She chuckled, One on my shoulder, one not on my shoulder and one REALLY not on my shoulder."

He started top blush, "Wow, it's, uh...been a long time since I've seen a girl's...REALLY not her shoulder."

She leaned into him and tossed her hair back, exposing her neck and cleavage, "Well, how about you show me your piercing and I show you my tattoos?"

He didn't reply, just closed the space between the two of them and their lips met in a soft and gentle kiss.

He pulled back, "Before I take my shirt off, I need to do about ten minutes of crunches."

She put her hands around his neck and pulled him back into a much more passionate kiss. Her hands snuck under his sweater and breaking the kiss momentarily, she pulled it over his head. She resumed kissing him as her slender fingers plucked at the buttons on his shirt. She got them open and roughly pulled it from his body. She began peppering his neck and shoulders with kisses as she made her way down his chest. She stopped at his belly and giggled, "Nice piercing Raj, would be nicer it there was some jewelry it the piercing, I'll have to get some for you.

He urged her up and grabbing hold of her clingy top, he drew it upward. As her milky white skin came into view, he shivered, "I've never been with an honest to goodness redhead before, your skin is so white, like a Greek statue, but with the arms." He let out a tiny groan when she shook her head and her long red hair floated back down over her porcelain skin. "So tell me Emily, where are these tattoos you spoke of earlier?"

She shifted on the sofa and drew her long red hair from her shoulder and looking back over it, her piercing blue eyes captured his, She licked her bright pink lips, "Right here Raj, it's a tiny frog and if you kiss it, it will tell you where to find the second one, not so close to my shoulder."

He swept her hair from her neck and kissed the sensitive flesh of her neck. He smiled when he saw her skin covered in goose-bumps. He traveled along the nape of her neck and towards her shoulder. He nipped at the flesh and she shivered and pushed back against him.

Emily was breathing heavily through her mouth as he approached her frog. "Mmmm, she likes the way you kiss her!" She scooted closer to the edge of the cushion and looked back over her shoulder. "If you travel down my spine and scoot my slacks down just a bit, you'll get a peak and tattoo number two."

Raj wanted to play it cool and take his time; he did for a few moments, but skipped lower and found himself on his knees, turning Emily so just one of her tight cheeks was resting on the sofa. He reached around and undid her belt and tugged at the back of her skin-tight jeans, they didn't move enough and he was become frustrated rather quickly.

Emily stopped him, "Here it will be easier this way." She unhooked her pants and lowered the tight zipper. She rose up slightly and tugged the slacks down past the curve of her hips. She reached around and pulled lightly and the second tattoo came into view. She giggled when she heard him let out a gasp and a groan, "Mmmm, seems like my second tattoo sorta got your attention, huh?"

He licked his lips and all he could do was nod. He focused on the second tattoo; it was an arrow and in the arrow was the words "Look down around the corner." He looked up at her and she was grinning from ear to ear, "May I?"

She giggled, "A deal was a deal, you showed my your piercing, now you get to see them all, the one really not on my shoulder." She extended one foot, "Be a dear Raj and remove my boots, it will make it a lot easier." She giggled again when Raj nearly fell over as he tugged at first one and then the second boot.

Rag grabbed hold of the top of her slack and wiggled it from side to side until it cleared her hips and gorgeous ass. He was fascinated at the milky white skin of her legs and belly. He watched in awe as she parted her legs and he stared at the tiny red bush pressing against the silky white panties covering her third and most treasured tattoo.

She chuckled, "If you wanna see my last tattoo, you're gonna have to remove my panties, that is if you want to."

He stared up at her and chuckled, "Ahh, is that a trick question, will the tattoo police break down my door if I try seeing it?"

She ran her hand up and down his bare arm, "I want you to see it and tell me what you think of it?" She arched her back, drawing her tight, tiny ass off of the sofa and she braced herself up using her forearms.

Raj's hands were shaking when he grabbed hold of her panties and drew them off her body. The gusset was so wet; it clung to her tight slit as juices trickled out. He let out a gasp and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head, "He licked his lips and stared up to her smoky blue eyes, "May I?"

She ran his hands though his hair and guided him towards her juicy, wet slit, "You have to do what it says, it's the rules."

He nodded and read the tattoo over and over again. There was a tiny arrow pointed towards her luscious pussy and it said, "Eat Here!" He lowered his head and licked lightly at the arrow and left a tiny wet line from the tip of the arrow down to her fragrant scented pussy. He stiffened his tongue and stabbing at the base of her slit, he pushed in as far as he could and slowly slid his tongue upward and inward as he slid higher.

Emily rolled her head from side to side as she tightened her grip on his head. She released his head and struggled with the tight bra holding her firm, B cup breasts in place. It came free and she really didn't need it, but only had it on because without it, her bright pink, stiff nipples would tear holes through the tight shirt she was wearing. They stood high and proud and even though she was leaning back, they stood high and didn't flatten on her chest at all. She cupped them and squeezed them, rolling the stiff points between her fingers. She was biting down hard on her pink lips as she raced towards an explosive orgasm.

Raj had made his way up to her stiff bud and flicking his tongue up and down; uncovered the large hood hiding her blood-red clit. His fingertips lightly slipped through the tiny tuff of hair just above her bright pink slit. He used his thumb to slide the large hood covering her clit and pursing his lips; he drew it between them and sucked lightly. He knew he hit the mother-load.

Emily arched her back and thrashed about as she started cumming. She groaned out, "Oh fuck yeah, Raj. I'm soooooo glad you can read and follow instructions. Oh yesssssss Raj, eat me, eat my pussy and make me cum even harder."

Raj's lips and chin was slick with her juices and he burrowed in deeper, using his tongue, he darted in and out of her juicy hole and after a couple jabs, he returned to her clit again. He did this over and over again and he couldn't get enough of her sweet tasting cum.