Big Bang Theory Season 05 Ep. 24

Author's note: This episode 24, the series doesn't reset the storyline follows the show's story sequence.

One of my readers requested adding pictures of the new characters, but this is not allowed by Literotica. When a new character is introduced, I will put in parenthesis the character's real name so you can look them up on the internet.

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Bernadette was sitting on Howard's bed; she looked amazing, her golden blonde hair hung down, resting on the upper slopes of her large breasts. Howard was standing before her and had his hands behind his back, "Close your eyes, put your hand out. I got you something special."

She had a funny face, "Come in, Howard, I'm not falling for that again."

He pulled his arm around and handed her a box, "No, here."

She opened it, "Oh, Howie, a little star, it's beautiful. Put it on me."

"Okay, but I'm gonna have to get it back from you, so I can take it to the International Space Station. That way, when I come home, you will have a star that was actually in space.

She looked at it, "Oh, my God, this is the most amazing gift I've ever gotten." She looked at it again, "I don't wanna wait until you're back to get married. I wanna be married to you before you get in that rocket. But I want to even the score after what I found out about you while you were at your bachelor party."

"I don't understand, what do you mean evening the score and have you forgotten; I'm leaving in three days."

"We'll have a little ceremony with just our friends. I want to have sex with your buddies, but you'll get some action too. I talked to Penny and Amy and they will keep you company, if you get my drift. I'll get the bridal suite at the hotel we were going to have our reception; we'll have that celebration we were talking about on Saturday night. We'll still have the big reception with everyone when you get back."

"Well, I'm not so keen on having Leonard, Raj and Sheldon having sex with you, but if you think it will even the score, I'm on-board with it, so wow, okay, let's get married."

She cleared her throat, "You forgot about Stuart and Wil Wheaton too, but I guess I'm just splitting hairs here."

They hurried over to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment and Bernie spoke to the group, "We decided to go down to city hall this afternoon get married and then have the reception when Howard gets back. We know it's short notice, but we'd love you all to come with us."

Amy was upset; she jumped up, "No, no, no, this is not the wedding I wanted. I wanna wear my maid-of-honor dress and walk down the aisle with a hundred eyes on me, while a string quartet plays "The Way You Look Tonight."

Bernie looked at her, "That wasn't our processional music."

"Well, it was gonna be mine."

Bernie looked to Amy, "So, what do you say, Amy?"

"Can I wear my maid-of-honor dress?"

"Seriously? Wear that thing to city hall?"

"It's all I have left. You gonna take that from me too?"

They went to the city hall, Sheldon turned to Leonard, "Leonard is it awkward being here with Penny, given that you recently proposed to her?"

Howard looked at him, "You proposed?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Raj ran over to Penny, "Where'd he pop the question? What'd you say?"

Leonard busted in, "She said no! Can we drop it?"

Penny added, "It wasn't a real proposal."

Bernie who was seated beside her looked up, "Why wasn't it a real proposal?"

Sheldon blurted out, "He asked her just after fucking her brains out."

Penny bit her lip, "Good move telling Sheldon."

"Can't propose, can't talk to my friends. Is there anything else I'm not allowed to do?"

The receptionist came out of the judge's chambers, "Folks, can I have your attention? It's 5:00. We're gonna take three more couples and the judge will be out of town tomorrow. The rest of you will have to return on Monday."

Bernie threw up her hands, "I can't believe were not gonna get married."

They went to the Cheesecake Factory for drinks. Howard turned to Bernie, who was seating on a bar stool, "You know, we could always drive to Vegas and get married."

Bernie shook her head, "I don't know, isn't that a little tacky."

Penny took a swig of her wine, "Hey, I know tons of people who got married in Vegas."

Bernie scoffed at her, "Are any of them still married?"

"Yeah, I mean, not to the same people, but...."

Bernie racked her brain, "There's gotta be someplace special we could do it."

Sheldon was being an ass again, "Leonard, where did you envision marrying Penny?"

Leonard was getting pissed, "Will you shut up?"

Raj put his beer down on the bar, "I know someplace special, I suggest, if you're willing to wait till Saturday morning, the Google satellite will be over Pasadena. You can have your wedding photographed from space."

Howard patted him on the back, "That is so cool, way to go, Raj."

"I keep telling you, if I wasn't an astrophysicist, I would've been a party planner."

Howard added, "Okay, so we know we're gonna do it Saturday morning. Now we need to find a good place for the satellite to see us."

Leonard had a suggestion, "How about our roof?"

Bernie added, "Oh, I like that and I'll get the Bridal Suite for all of Saturday, seeing you'll be leaving Sunday for Russia."

Howard loved it too, "That's great, so we have the where and the when, but we still need to figure out who's gonna do the ceremony."

Penny turned to Howard, "Well, that's easy; anyone can go online and get ordained as a minister."

Bernie looked to them, ""Alright, well, who's it gonna be?"

Raj looked around, "Why don't we all do it?"

They headed back to get things started, Penny got Amy into her apartment, "Hey Amy, did Bernadette tell you about her little tryst she has planned for after the ceremony?"

"Oh yeah, I'm just glad you taught me how to suck dick. If you can keep a secret, yesterday when you walked in on Sheldon and me, I just finished doing that, why do you ask."

"Oh, I'll never forget that, it will be burned in my brain forever. I was asking because after seeing you with him, I sorta noticed the full carpet down there. I know for a fact, most men like it clean and bare."

"That sounds interesting, but where can I get that done on such short notice? Where did you get yours done?"

"First of all, how do you know mine is like that and secondly, I can do it for you?"

She hopped up, "Come on, what are we waiting for?" She hurried to Penny's bedroom and removed her dress and slipped out of her panties.

Penny followed her, "Wow, that is one large bush, if you went for a waxing, they'd most likely run out of wax. Okay get in the bathroom and sit on the counter beside the sink." She began cutting and snipping. She pulled out the shaving gel and worked the gel into her pubic area until it turned to a foam, She shaved most of it off and went back to reapply the gel. "Okay Amy, just want you to know, for me to get the tiny hairs near the lips, I sorta have to slip my fingers in and pull the skin taut. I didn't wanna have you think I was coming on to you."

She chuckled, "Like I told you last week, there isn't a hair on my body I wouldn't let you touch. Go ahead, I'm more than ready."

Penny nodded and slipped her fingers in, she was surprised, Amy was already wet. She worked the safety razor up and down and it caused Amy to get out a groan, "Keep still Amy, I don't wanna cut you."

"Okay, but this is really turning me on." She looked up at Penny with pleading eyes, "Would you mind rubbing me a little more, I'm so close."

"AMY!"

"Please Penny, I'm so close!"

Penny used a warm washcloth and wiped away all of the foam. She scooted closer and looked up at Amy, "I'll do you one better!" She lowered her head and sucked on Amy's huge clit. She dipped her tongue in, along with a couple fingers.

Within seconds, Amy exploded, sending a river of her juices all over Penny's lips. She let out a gasp, "Oh my, thank you Penny. I owe you one and I just may repay you later tomorrow after the wedding." Oh shaky legs, she slipped into her panties and the dress, "Well I'll see you tomorrow at the wedding."

Bernie ran around, making sure everything was all set at the Bridal Suite. She made sure to get a butt-load of toiletries, oils and enough towels for the entire group, twice over. She made sure the bar was well stocked with wine for Penny and Amy and beer for the guys and something even stronger for her.

Saturday morning came and all of the guys were in Leonard's apartment; all dressed in their tuxedos. They were all sipping champagne and Howard addressed the guys, "Before I forget, I got you a little groomsmen present." He handed them to all three of them, "Fantastic Four Annual Number 3 from 1965 in mint condition. The one where Mr. Fantastic and the Invisible Girl get married."

Howard went over to Penny's apartment and knocked on the door.

Amy called through the door, "Who is it?"

"It's the groom."

She poked her head out, "You can't come in. Bad luck to see the bride."

"Okay, fine." He yelled out, "Bernie, I have to go pick up my mother." I'll be right back."

"Okay, just hurry!"

Up on the roof, Raj rolled out the last runner, forming a heart with an arrow through it.

Leonard yelled out, "Come on Raj, we're ready to start."

He stood up, "We're ready when I say we're ready." He counted around and straightened Howard's tie, "Okay, now we're ready."

Penny and Amy looked hot in the same dress, a bright red with a tight belt around the waist, accenting Penny's luscious tits. Her hair is pulled up and fastened high by a number of fashionable pins, while Amy's was down and she was wearing a tiara atop her head. The skirt ended nearly at the ankles, but it was a full skirt. The top was non-existent on Penny; her tits struggled to hold the dress up. Amy had the same dress, but she was wearing a long sleeve, matching jacket over it, and it still failed to hide her equally large breasts.

Raj turned to Penny and pointed to the stereo. She pressed the button turning on the music to present the bride and her father.

Bernadette's father, also in a tux had Bernadette on his arm. She looked radiant. Her golden blonde hair was down, halfway down her back. The dress was strapless and very tight around the waist, accenting her even larger breasts. They look magnificent in the dress. It fell in layers down to the floor, the train followed behind her. Her veil showed off her long, slender neck and her glasses add an ever more alluring feature to her already beautiful ensemble.

Mike, Bernadette's father looked to Howard's mother and whispered to Bernadette, "Your new mother-in-law is a piece of work."

She smiled and replied, "Not now, Dad!"

"She's got a bigger mustache than me." Bernadette is so short, she barely comes up to Mike's shoulder. Howard steped beside Mike and Mike turned to Howard and motioned towards Bernadette, "Here you go!"

Bernie looked up to her father, "Here you go? What am I, a football?"

Mike kissed Bernie on the forehead and shakes Howard's hand he turned and muttered, "Like that guy could catch a football."

Raj started things off, "Howard and Bernadette, the five of us stand before you as your friends and newly ordained ministers. Guys, when I look at the two of you starting your lives together, it fills my heart......" His voice cracked and he's all chocked up and had to stop. "Okay, I'm gonna need a minute."

Penny smiled at him and picked up her card, her large green eyes were sparkling as she looked to Bernadette and Howard, "Okay, I'll go, ahem! Howard and Bernadette, I know you two planned on getting married in a big, fancy wedding. But when you're in love, it doesn't matter where or how these things happen. It just matters that you have each other."

Leonard looked up at Penny, "Hmm!"

She blinked several times and bit her lip; she turned to Leonard, "Problem?"

He shook his head, "No!"

Sheldon butted in, "I think the Reverend Hofstadter is making an ironic connection, between your statement of love and your rejection of his proposal in the bedroom."

She scrunched up her face and turned to Leonard, "Oh, grow up!"

"Hey, I didn't say it."

Amy broke in, "That's enough from the both of you."

Penny blurted out, "Well, he started it!"

Amy yelled back, "Well, I'm ending it."

Penny rolled her eyes and gave him an even dirtier look.

Amy started her announcement, "Bernadette, I wanna thank you for allowing me to be your maid of honor. I also want you to know that I will be happy to do it again, if this marriage craps out."

They all looked in dismay at Amy. Leonard pulled his cards out of his jacket, "Thank you, Amy. Very touching. Howard and Bernadette, you are lucky enough to be best friends who love each other. And that's the strongest kind of love, because at its core it has kindness, patience and respect. Qualities that are hard to find in people these days."

Penny, who was standing beside Leonard, looked again at him and gave him another dirty look.

Sheldon leaned over and whispered to Penny, "Would you like some aloe vera? She looked at Sheldon and he finished up, "You just got burned!" She pursed her lips and rolled her eyes again.

Sheldon was next, "All right, my turn, Howard, Bernadette:" He started to speak in Klingon and Bernadette yelled out, "Sheldon, I told you, no Klingon!" He nodded, "Fine, I'll do it English, but it loses something. The need to find another human being to share one's life with has always puzzled me. Maybe because I'm so interesting all by myself. With that being said, may you find as much happiness with each other as I find on my own."

Raj spoke up, "I believe you two have prepared vows?"

Amy handed Bernadette the ring. They turned to each other and Bernie began, "Howard Joel Wolowitz, like you, this is going to be short and sweet. I love you with all my heart and soul and promise to be with you forever." She slid the ring on his finger.

Raj stepped forward and handed Howard the ring, "Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski, until I met you, I couldn't imagine spending my life with just one person. Now I can't imagine spending one day of it without you." He slid the ring on her finger.

The five ministers all said together, "By the power vested in us by the state of California----" Sheldon blurted out, "And the Klingon High Council!" Bernadette gave him a dirty look, they all continued, "---We now pronounce you husband and wife." They all cheered and Bernadette and Howard kissed for the first time as husband and wife.

They all headed downstairs where more champagne was opened and they drank and ate finger food Raj had set up.

About an hour later, the tiny party broke up and Bernadette turned to the group, "Howard and I would love to invite the five of you, and our photographer, Stuart, to the Plaza. We reserved the bridal suite and we'd like you all to come there and continue to celebrate our nuptials, till the wee hours of the morning when we'll all drive Howard to the airport to leave for Russia. By the way, I invited Wil Wheaton, he was going to attend the ceremony, but couldn't get here in time; he had an audition in Hollywood this morning. He'll meet us at the hotel."

They headed out in the van and one other car. They left their cars with the valet and headed up to the bridal suite.

Bernie, still in her bridal gown, as were Penny and Amy, in their bridesmaid dresses. Amy slipped the jacket off and showed as much cleavage as Penny did and caught the eyes of all of the guys. All of the men removed their jackets and hung them up. They ate crackers, cheese and other finger foods. A lot of champagne was consumed and Bernadette turned to Penny, "Can I see you in the little girl's room?"

They went in and Bernadette turned to Penny, "Well this is it, I'm so fucking nervous. I know I told you to bring a couple of those ecstasy pills. I think I'm going to need one now."

"Are you sure Bernie, I don't think you're going to need it. You're hot enough and once the ball starts rolling, you'll be so high on all the guys, you'll never need it."

"I know, but I think I need one, just to get the edge off."

"Okay, here you go, but I warned you."

"Yeah, yeah, just give it to me!" She swallowed it, "Now let's go out there. I want my first dance to be with the groom."

They went out there and Bernadette turned to Raj, "Please put some smooth dance music on, please Raj."

He did and Bernadette and Howard began dancing. Near the end of the song, Raj tapped Howard on the shoulder and Raj took the tiny bride in his arms.

Penny moved over to Howard and drew him in and she danced with him. She danced with him and he started to stumble. Penny caught him and turned to Bernie, "Hey, what's happening here? We were dancing and all of a sudden, he slumped against me."

Bernadette couldn't believe Howard left her high and dry. She moved over to Wil Wheaton, "I'm beginning to think you guys did something to him; so you could have me all to yourselves tonight."

He winked at Bernadette, "I sorta dropped a roofie in his champagne. Knowing he's out, do you want us to take care of you tonight?"

Raj and Leonard went over to Howard and wrapped his arms around their necks. They dragged him to the bedroom and dropped him on the bed. They covered him up and went back into the living room, waiting for Bernadette to make her decision.

The best man and groomsmen looked on with anticipation, waiting for Bernadette to make her decision. Bernadette looked from Raj and then to Leonard. She still wasn't sure and Leonard spoke up, Bernadette, why don't we hang out and keep you company until Howard wakes up? We'll keep you from doing anything immoral to yourself, after he sleeps off the drug, you can have your way with him and we'll take off.

She was playing their game, she had a long discussion with Penny and even though Bernie and Penny already knew what was going to occur, the guys were left in the dark. Bernadette yelled at them in her Mrs. Wolowitz voice again, "It just pisses me off! It's not like he's going to get the chance to take this dress off of me again. Yeah, we can play dress up and do it again, but there will only be one wedding night. It just makes me mad, once I slip out of this dress and have nothing to look forward to." She moved over to Leonard and gave him a tiny kiss on the cheek, "You know, if you guys don't mind, I'd like you all to hang around and keep me company."

The guys lined up a dozen shot glasses and filled them with tequila. They had a bunch of lime slices and salt shakers. One by one they were emptied. Everyone was doing shots and Bernadette with the ecstasy and booze mixed in her system, she was getting wilder by the moment. She moved over to Wil, "So tell me Wil, What's your favorite way to cum?"

He looked at her, not believing he heard the question correctly, "Um, with my cock, how else?"

She took a sip of another shot and nearly shot the booze out her nose, she was laughing so hard. She wanted to speed things up. The pill and alcohol was clouding her judgement and she slowly raised her wedding dress showing her short, but very shapely legs. She spun around and looked at Sheldon. She wiggled her finger at him, "Do me a favor Sheldon, crawl up under my dress. You're the tallest of the group and I'm the tiniest. I want to see if you can crouch under my dress and hide there. You have to stay there until I tell you to come up."

He shook his head, "I'm not too keen on tight, dark areas. You remember what happened when Raj and I stayed fifteen minutes in the steam tunnels of the university."

Wil laughed out loud, "Well Sheldon, if you're under her dress, you'll have two of those things again."

Sheldon looked at Wil, "I don't follow, what are you talking about Wil Wheaton?"

He smiled, "If you're under her dress, you'll get to see a real tight spot and if I'm not wrong, it will be very steamy there too."