Big Bang Theory Pilot Xxx

Leonard Hofstadter and Sheldon Cooper; both physicists at Cal Tech and roommates; were climbing the three flights of stairs to their 4A apartment when they noticed the door to 4B was widely ajar. The space had been vacant for a couple weeks and their attention was immediately directed to a presence in the room...and what a presence it was. There stood the most stunning female Leonard had ever seen; as he commented: "new neighbor?" She had lustrous blond hair and was wearing very short blue-jean shorts and an aqua colored blouse as she stood surrounded by cardboard boxes.

"Evidently," Sheldon responded.

"Significant improvement over the old neighbor," Leonard offered.

"A 200 pound transvestite with a skin condition...yes she is," Sheldon agreed.

As they were staring, she turned, saw them and offered a friendly greeting: "oh, Hi."

"Hi," Leonard greeted her back.

Sheldon matched his roommate's "Hi," and they all awkwardly repeated the greeting a second time.

"Sorry we didn't mean to bother you; we live across the hall," Leonard explained.

"Oh that's nice," she answered, her tone insinuating that she thought they were a couple.

Immediately, Leonard corrected her: "oh, no...we don't live together...well we live together, but in our own heterosexual rooms."

Still displaying a radiant smile, their new neighbor responded: "well I guess I'm your new neighbor...Penny."

"Leonard," he told her and then gestured toward his roommate, "Sheldon...nice to meet you...welcome to the building."

Still awkward, Penny said: "thanks...maybe we can have coffee sometime."

Not very smooth or comfortable interacting with the opposite sex, Leonard just answered: "yeah that would be nice...well see ya," and they turned toward their own apartment.

Penny answered: "OK, bye," and closed her door.

Leonard asked Sheldon: "should we have invited her for lunch?"

Always ready to avoid human contact, Sheldon told him: "no, we're going to start the second season of Battlestar Gallactica."

"I think we should be good neighbors," Leonard pleaded.

"We never invited Louie/Louise over for lunch," Sheldon pointed out.

"And that was wrong of us," Leonard admitted, "I'm going to invite her over and we can chat."

"We don't chat," Sheldon told him.

Leonard knocked on 4B and when Penny answered, Leonard stammered out an invitation: "Hi again...umm we brought home food and I know moving can be stressful and sometimes sitting down, relaxing and chatting can relieve that stress."

"You're inviting me over to eat," she asked, "that's so nice...I would love that."

Entering 4A, Penny wandered around and looked at Sheldon's white-board. "Wow this is really impressive...you're one of those Beautiful-Mind genius types aren't you."

"Well...yes," Sheldon shyly admitted.

Trying to regain her attention, Leonard pointed to his white-board: "you like white-boards...I have a white-board." Sheldon immediately made fun of Leonard's work and they began to argue.

Penny meanwhile had settled on the end of the sofa and asked: "do you guys mind if I start eating?"

Giving her a new clue as to his "quirkiness," Sheldon admonished her: "ohhh...that's where I sit."

"Well you can sit beside me," she offered.

"No...that's where I sit. In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator so as to be warm, but not so close that it causes perspiration. In the summer there is a perfect cross-breeze between the windows; and it has a perfect angle for viewing the TV without any distortion."

Leonard yelled at him to "sit," and then asked Penny: "so tell us about yourself."

Always happy to chat, she began: "well I'm a Sagittarius (at which time Sheldon snorted his version of a laugh) and I'm a Vegetarian...except for fish and the occasional steak...I love steak. I'm a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory. Oh, and I'm writing a screenplay about a girl who comes to L. A. from Lincoln, Nebraska with dreams of becoming a movie star but ends up being a waitress at a Cheesecake Factory."

"So it's the story of your life," Leonard cheerfully stated.

"No, I'm from Omaha," Penny naively answered. "Well, that's the story of Penny."

"Well it sounds wonderful," Leonard encouraged her, "if it's ever made into a movie, I'll go see it." Listening to her, he leaned closer and inhaled the scent of her strawberry scented shampoo.

All of a sudden, they could see her beginning to tear up, and she put her head in her hands and sobbed: "it was wonderful until I fell in love with a jerk. I loved with him for four years and he cheated on me." She got up and ran to the kitchen island, while Sheldon scooted over onto his spot. Grabbing a paper towel to dab at her eyes, she continued: "you know the worst part...even though I hate his lying, cheating guts... I still kinda love him." Pausing for a few minutes to gather her emotions, she apologized: "I'm sorry...I'm such an emotional mess; and to make matters worse, I'm all gross from moving and my stupid shower doesn't work."

Without thinking, Leonard blurted out: "our shower works."

Perking up slightly, she asked: "would it be totally weird if I used it?"

"No," Leonard volunteered, "it's right down the hall."

"Thank you so much...you guys are really sweet," Penny told them and walked down the hall to the bathroom.

Once she was out of the room, Sheldon asked: "what exactly are you trying to accomplish here...you know that woman is not going to have sex with you."

"I'm not trying to have sex with her; I'm just being a good neighbor," Leonard answered.

"Oh good, then you won't be disappointed," Sheldon told him.

Just then there was a knock on the door and their friends Howard Wolowitz and Raj Koothrapalli burst into the room babbling about some DVD containing a forgotten Stephen Hawking lecture. "Guys you're going to have to go...this isn't a good time," Leonard told them.

"Leonard has a lady over," Sheldon informed them.

"Yeah right...is your grandmother back in town," Howard joked as he put the DVD in the machine.

"It's not a lady...it's just a new neighbor," Leonard said.

"There really is a lady here," Howard inquired, "and you want us out because you're anticipating coitus?"

Just then, Penny bounded out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her torso that showcased her incredible legs, asking: "is there some trick to getting the water from the tub to the shower head?" Suddenly realizing there were additional people in the apartment, she stopped abruptly and offered an embarrassed: "hello."

Immediately, Howard went into his smarmy act; bowing and saying: "enchantee...Howard Wolowitz at your service.

Pushing past Howard, Leonard told Penny: "come on, I'll show you the trick." Leaning into the tub, he jiggled the stopper on the faucet until water began gushing from the showerhead. "There you go...it just sticks a little...I'm sorry." Before he could even turn around, Penny had closed the shower curtain and thrown the towel on the floor. For some reason, all Leonard could think of was the fact that soon her hair was going to smell like his Darth Vader No-More-Tears shampoo.

Before he got to the door, he heard Penny's voice call out: "hey Leonard."

"Yeah," he casually answered.

"I know we just met, but would you do me a favor," she asked.

"Sure...sure, I'll probably do you a favor...just ask," he nervously confessed.

Suddenly the shower curtain was drawn back and there stood the most beautiful naked woman Leonard had ever seen...or imagined. He was certain he momentarily stopped breathing as he stared at his gorgeous blond neighbor; completely nude with water cascading down her magnificent body. It was a moment burned into his brain that he would remember until the day he died. Her incredible legs were shapely and seemed to be endlessly long. Her perfect thigh gap framed a completely bald mound that resembled a puffy peach sliced in half. He wanted to stare at her crotch for the rest of his life, but there were other treasures that begged his attention.

Her hour-glass figure narrowed above her flared hips and her belly was trim and taut. His eyes traveled up her perfect form to the most wonderful set of breasts he had ever seen...even better than the models in the old Playboys that were still probably under his mattress back in New Jersey. Guessing they were about 36 C; using the measurements of the centerfolds he could still remember as a guide; they were perfectly round and hung on her chest, defying gravity. They were large enough that when she moved, they didn't just jiggle...they wobbled. Her nipples were huge; like swollen pink gumdrops and they were surrounded by elliptical pink areola.

If he had died on the spot, it would have been fine with him because it still would have been the most wonderful day of his life. His new neighbor was absolute perfection. Leonard could feel his erection being uncomfortably constrained in his pants and hoped Penny didn't notice. He wanted to reach for his inhaler, but knew it would spoil the mood and probably adversely effect the opinion she was forming of him. Suddenly realizing he hadn't spoken in a few moments, and was just staring at this work of art; he finally uttered: "you have the most amazingly beautiful emerald eyes. You know only two per-cent of the population has green eyes."

When she laughed, Leonard was certain he had blown his chance with the new girl of his dreams; but she quickly commented: "wow...I must have lost my touch. The first thing you noticed were my eyes...but thanks for the compliment." She sensed immediately that this man was different...in a good way.

It occurred to Leonard that maybe he still had a chance; after all she was still standing there naked...talking to him. Physically shaking his head as if to clear his mind, he remembered: "you said something about a favor." He wanted to alleviate the awkwardness of the situation, but never wanted this moment to end, as he continued to stare at the nude blond goddess.

"Oh yeah," she laughed again; her wonderous tits shaking. "My back." Seeing his puzzled expression, she explained: "I don't have my back brush here, and no matter how much yoga I do, there is still a spot I can't quite reach. Would you mind washing my back? I hope you don't mind that I use your loofa and Chewbacca body wash. By the way...you can blink now."

Trying desperately to pry his eyes from her nude form, Leonard moved closer to the tub and blurted out: "oh no...I don't mind...you are welcome to use anything I have. I would consider it an honor to scrub your back," (or anything else, he thought to himself).

Reaching for the loofa, he was surprised when she pulled it away from him and suggested: "oh no...I don't want you getting your clothes all wet...you have to get in here with me." Leonard just stopped moving and stared into her glimmering eyes. "Come on...get those clothes off and get in here...I don't bite...much." He thought his mind was going to explode as he followed her order and began to shed his clothes...tossing them in every direction, until he was down to his Spiderman boxers. Lifting one leg into the tub, Penny put her hand on his shoulder to stop him and demanded: "everything off...do you take a shower with your shorts on."

Totally embarrassed because he knew his erection was giving away his thoughts, he nevertheless stepped back and shoved them down his legs. "Oh my, Leonard," Penny exclaimed, "I never would have guessed...that is truly impressive. I guess I haven't lost my touch." Now it was her turn to stare. His prick was at least nine inches and fat and Penny could feel a tingling in her groin. Reaching her hand out, she grasped his rod and pulled him into the tub. She had large Nebraska farm-girl hands and her fingers did not fully encompass his shaft.

Leonard's mind was racing while attempting to comprehend everything that was happening. He was naked in his shower with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and still didn't understand exactly why. How was he supposed to behave...what was he allowed to do. The last thing he clearly recalled was being asked to wash her back, so he reached down to retrieve the discarded loofa. When he did this, Penny was forced to release his penis and his actions were revealing just how shy and inhibited Leonard really was. Playing along, Penny turned her back to him while he drooled his Chewy body wash on the sponge.

She was leaning against the stall wall, directly beneath the shower head and when Leonard looked up from the loofa, he was nearly hypnotized by the sight of the warm water cascading down over the most delicious ass cheeks he could imagine. "This woman is perfect," he thought to himself as he gingerly reached forward and began to run the soapy sponge around her smooth shoulders and down her regal back. "How does skin get this smooth," he wondered as he scrubbed her back, not even realizing he was counting her vertebrae. He was in another world and as he washed her flawless skin, he reached out with his other hand and began to caress her perfectly round and soapy cheeks.

He noticed that as he was fondling her completely firm buttocks, she spread her feet wider apart. He just assumed it was to give herself a wider, more stable base so she didn't slip and fall. "That's smart," he thought, " because over 230,000 people slip and fall in the tub every year and nearly a hundred suffer fatal injuries." He was brought out of his trance by the sound of her voice, and he just assumed she was pissed because he was touching her ass. "I'm sorry," he reflexively replied to whatever she had said.

Her voice sounding like an angel, he heard her say: "Leonard...Leonard you have nothing to be sorry for. I've been trying to get your attention. That felt sooo good...thank you. I hope you won't be mad, but I have a confession."

"Oh I don't think I could ever be mad at you," he admitted sheepishly.

As she continued to talk, she slowly turned around, revealing her incredible body; the water now splashing against the middle of her back. Leonard knew he was being impolite, but couldn't help staring at her nakedness. Reaching out, she grasped his hand and slowly placed it on her right breast as she admitted: "you see Leonard, the truth is that I absolutely love being fucked. I love the feel of a cock inside me, and it's been a long time since I've enjoyed that. The real favor I wanted to ask you is: will you fuck me...please?"

"Heaven (if he believed in it), could not possibly be any better than this moment," he thought as he stood in the shower completely speechless. "Did she really just say what I thought I heard," he wondered. "Could this dream actually be coming true?" He absentmindedly began to caress and squeeze her incredibly soft tit until finally he found his voice. "I said all you had to do was ask a favor," he shyly answered, and boldly reached out with his other hand to fondle her other perfect breast. It was a paradox: they were simultaneously firm and yet so very soft. He squeezed and kneaded them; mesmerized by how wonderful they felt in his hands.

Leaning forward he gingerly attached his lips to her left gumdrop nipple and sucked it into his mouth while still caressing her right mound. He gently nibbled on her erect nub, then clamped down and tugged it forward, before letting it go and watching it snap back against her jiggling flesh. If this was just a dream, he was going to make it the most wonderful dream of all time, so he dropped down to his knees in front of her dripping body. His face was now level with her crotch as he stared upward between her twin peaks and made eye contact with his beautiful neighbor. Anticipating his next move, she invitingly moved her feet farther apart.

Leonard began to run his hands up and down her wet silky thighs, marveling at her smooth skin. Her puffy mound actually started to split apart as he caressed her soft flesh, and her inner labia began to spread out from her slit. Tenderly, Leonard used his thumbs to pull the sides of her slit open and was greeted with the sight of the most vivid pink flesh he had ever seen, lining her vagina. Leaning closer, he inhaled the intoxicating scent of her arousal and suddenly felt dizzy. "Oh God," he thought, "even her pussy is beautiful." Not having extensive "hands-on" experience, but having read numerous internet articles, Leonard extended his tongue and began to run it up and down the sides of her slit; first one side and then the other.

Reaching around, his hands grasped her wondrous cheeks and kneaded them as he continued to lap at the sides of her plump mound. He was staring at her pussy as if it were the most miraculous sight he had ever gazed upon; trying to memorize it and stash the experience in his brain just in case he never saw it again. "Ohhh yesss," he heard her moan and looked up between her twin peaks to see that her mouth was open as she tilted her head back and let the warm water rush through her golden hair. Her eyes closed as he slipped his tongue inside her opening and lapped at her folds. "Ohhh Leonard," she groaned while his tongue delved deeper inside her.

"She even tastes good," he thought as he used his tongue as a scoop to slurp her nectar into his mouth. Reaching one hand up, he squeezed her right breast and rolled her engorged nipple between his fingers; pinching it as hard as he dared. Her clit had poked out and was the size of a pea as he sucked it into his mouth. Rolling it between his teeth, he slipped two fingers up inside her hole as he bit down on her nub.

"Holy fucking shit," Penny gasped as her knees gave out and she leaned back against the wall. "Oh God...oh God," she moaned as her entire body trembled and suddenly Leonard's face was flooded. At first he thought it was from the shower, but looking up he saw that the water stream was going over top of both of them. He sucked in the fluid and knew instantly that Penny's pussy had actually squirted. Her breath was coming in short gasps and she managed to say: "holy crap Leonard. I've heard about orgasms where the pussy actually squirts; but I thought it was a myth. That was incredible...no one has ever made me feel like that before...I think I'm in love."

He could feel his chest expand, and then she leaned down, hooked her hands under his armpits and pulled him up to stand in front of her. "I want your cock inside me now...I need it inside me now...fuck me Leonard. Leaning back against the wall, Penny spread her marvelous legs as far as the tub would allow and then raised her right foot on top of the tub wall. For what seemed like minutes, Leonard just stood there admiring her nude body; confirming how perfect it really was. She grasped his sizable prick and aimed it at her slit. Leonard grasped her trim waist, bent his knees and then pushed upward. Slowly his hard rod pushed between her puffy lips and penetrated her juicy slit.

She was as wet inside as out, and Leonard kept steadily pushing upward until his entire shaft was inside her hole. His mind immediately began to recite the Periodic Table; the only way he knew to keep from ending the encounter prematurely. HIs hard-on sliding into her hot, tight pussy was the most wonderful thing he had ever experienced. It was like sliding it into a bowl of warm pudding (not that he would know). His arms around her waist, he just held in place as her body shivered and suddenly they both simultaneously moaned: "I love that first penetration." Their eyes spread wide open as they looked at each other in surprise.

Penny exclaimed: "I can't believe you just said that. Sometimes that's the best part of the fuck; but you've already made me feel better than anyone else ever has."

Embarrassed about what he had said, Leonard confessed: "being inside you is the most wonderful thing I have ever felt." It was true...her tunnel was hugging his prick like a too-small condom and he felt like his heart was going to burst from his chest like something in a sci-fi movie.