(fictional story about fictional characters)
shaggy77
It was late afternoon and Leonard Hofstadter was in his apartment, sitting at his desk in front of his laptop. He wasn't working; merely absentmindedly playing a video game while waiting for his cherished wife, Penny, to return home from her job at Zangen Pharmaceuticals. He felt like a puppy waiting for his master to return home from school...ready to wag his tail when she came through the door. They had been married for a couple of years and sometimes he still couldn't believe how lucky he was. Deep in thought, he was actually startled when she opened the door and dropped her key-ring in the bowl. She was carrying the briefcase he had given her to celebrate her recent promotion and he thought she looked like a beautiful attorney from some television show.
"Hey gorgeous," he blurted out, "how is the most beautiful drug-pusher in California?" She was an absolute dream, dressed in her ankle-length gray pencil-skirt and a pale blue blouse with the sleeves rolled up.
A huge smile spread across her face and she replied, "just California...wow, I must really be slipping. Besides, you forget, I don't do that anymore...I'm a big-shot now."
"I said California because as the Beach Boys will tell you; or David Lee Roth, which ever rendition you prefer; the cutest girls in the world are California Girls," he responded.
"Is there any subject that you are not knowledgeable in," she asked, surprised at his musical reference.
"Well, I'm certainly no match for Sheldon and his eidetic memory," he assured her, "but according to him, he has no peers. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about your meteoric rise of the chain of command, Ms Assistant Director of Marketing. How was your day?"
Swiveling his chair, he graciously offered his lap for her to perch on; which she swiftly took advantage of. "You sure my weight isn't too much for you," she asked.
"Like a butterfly," he grinned, "you know I've been going to the gym at lunch time, and doing yoga with you."
"Have I told you lately how happy you make me," Penny softly said while putting her arms around him.
"I don't think so," he replied, "so...anything new at work?"
"Actually, yes," she perked up, "they announced that this years recognition banquet is being held in Los Angeles at the Radisson."
Every year Zangen hosted a dinner and reception to announce new products, new research, and to congratulate those that received promotion in the previous year. "The Radisson...in Los Angeles," chirped Leonard, "what happened to having the meeting in an exotic place; like last year's New Orleans."
"Well apparently the stockholders are not happy about the company spending money on extravagant trips and banquets, so the executives dialed it back. Of course the only ones who suffer are the peons. But, tying to make it up to us, the CEO, COO, and all the vice-presidents pooled some money and are offering really expensive gifts at a raffle during the meeting," she informed him. "Rumor is that a couple of the gifts are expensive trips."
When she told him the dates of the dinner, his face contorted in a frown and he told her, "oh no...that's the weekend Stephen Hawking is visiting Cal-Tech and all the tenured Physicists have to be there. Howard is the engineer-on-call for his wheelchair, so he won't be able to go with Bernadette either.
"Well that sucks," she also frowned, "a free hotel room and my little Ewok won't be there."
"Maybe you'll win one of the trips," he suggested with a smile while reaching up to rub her back.
"I doubt it," she pouted, "I've already been lucky once in my life...that would be pushing it." Illustrating her point, she let her hand drift down his body to his groin and was pleasantly surprised to find him already aroused. Leaning down to kiss him, they were interrupted by three quick knocks on the door, and Sheldon bursting into the apartment.
"We've got to start putting the chain on the door," Leonard remarked disappointedly, "when he moved out, I hoped we wouldn't have to worry any more about his interruptions."
Glancing at the couple sitting in the chair, Sheldon proclaimed: "oh good...I'm not interrupting anything important."
Exasperated with his former roommate, Leonard inquired: "so what's so important that it couldn't wait until lunch tomorrow?"
"We have to get started writing our "welcome" speech for Stephen Hawking," Sheldon excitedly informed him, while plopping down on "his spot" on the sofa.
"That's three weeks away, and no one has even asked us to write a speech," a frustrated Leonard told him.
"There's no sense wasting time on what is a certain eventuality," Sheldon replied; clearly oblivious to Leonard's impatience.
Three weeks later, Penny and Bernadette had checked into the Radisson and were impressed by its opulence. As they made their way to the conference room for the first day's meeting, Bernadette commented: "this place isn't half bad...there's a nice pool out back."
"I know, right," agreed Penny, "did you see that exercise room and spa." They had both dressed to impress; wearing their best business conservative clothing; but still remembered to highlight their best features. Penny's tight skirt had a very daring slit up the side, and Bernadette's blouse revealed a vast expanse of cleavage.
One of the first things on the agenda was to recognize the past year's promotions and accomplishments. When it was Penny's turn to be introduced, Henry Kimball, the Vice President of Product Development announced that there was a special guest to introduce her. When Shaquille O'Neal took the stage, the room exploded in applause. Penny had convinced O'Neal to endorse Zangen's new anti-inflammatory cream and it turned into their best selling product. Shaking hands with the basketball legend, Penny had almost forgotten what a giant of a man he was. Seven feet tall and three hundred pounds definitely qualified as a giant in her book.
When she returned to her table, Shaq joined her and Bernadette for the meal. As he and Penny conversed like old friends, Bernadette just sat there with an astonished look on her face. Shaq excused himself to visit the Restroom and Bernadette implored Penny: "what the Hell...since when did you get to be so chummy with this guy?" She knew Penny had recruited him for the advertising campaign, but assumed it was purely a business relationship.
Smiling slyly, Penny told her: "when we were discussing his endorsement, we became quite close. He's really a nice guy." She, of course, did not tell Bernadette the extent of their encounter. When Shaq returned to the table, he smiled and had a proposition for the two blondes: "listen, I am staying right next door in the Hilton penthouse. Some of the more influential Lakers supporters are throwing a dinner to recognize the 2002 Championship. It starts tomorrow, but tonight I'm hosting a little get-together for some of my former teammates. Robert Horry, Rick Fox, and Derek Fisher will be there. It would be great if you could come Penny; and bring Bernadette...I think she would fit right in."
Remembering what had transpired at their last meeting, and feeling incredibly horny without Leonard there to satisfy her, Penny hesitated just momentarily and then agreed: "that would be great, but I don't know about Bernie. We'll have to discuss it."
"No discussion," Bernadette nearly shouted; eager at the opportunity to party with this legend; "I'll be there."