Big Bang Theory - Penny Pays the Bill

(although part of a series, each chapter is a stand-alone story exploring possible ways Penny could afford her own apartment on the wages of a part-time waitress)

shaggy77

(fictional story about fictional characters)

Fellow nerds Raj Koothrappali and Howard Wolowitz were in the 4A apartment belonging to their scientist colleagues Sheldon Cooper and Leonard Hofstadter, chowing down on Giacommo's pizza for dinner; as they often did. Joining them, as she often did, was Leonard's beautiful blond neighbor Penny. Sheldon was not in the room and she had settled into "his spot" on the sofa. She had worn a dress that day and Raj and Howard were not even attempting to conceal the fact that they were staring at her incredible long legs. She didn't mind the attention; as a matter of fact a psychologist would probably diagnose her as an exhibitionist. The definition stated that the subject received sexual gratification by exposing oneself; and Penny did enjoy the effect she had on men.

Leonard had opened the pizza box, set it on the coffee table, and had collected money from Howard and Raj. He paused in front of Penny and, mid-bite, she asked: "oh, how much do I owe you."

"Six dollars," Leonard answered.

Looking in her clutch purse, Penny responded: "I'm a little short right now."

"Well, how much do you have," he inquired.

"Nothing," was her reply.

"That's OK, just get it another time," he told her and sat down.

"How much do I owe you now," Penny wanted to know.

"Well let's see," Leonard began to add things up in his head, "there's the manicure, the Thai food, the pizza, the acting lesson, and your rent. That's about fourteen hundred...but who's counting...you know I don't care." She DID know he didn't care; he would be happy supporting her for life and expecting nothing in return. That's what a wonderful person he was.

Raj leaned over to whisper in Howard's ear because he had some kind of phobia that prevented him from speaking around attractive women.

Howard laughed, and Penny snapped: "what!"

"Oh Raj just said that you have the ultimate racket; you don't even have to put out to get free stuff," Howard told her.

Slightly annoyed, she responded: "it's not free...I'm going to pay him back."

Just as Leonard called out for Sheldon to join them, a robot-like structure rolled into the living room and down a previously unnoticed ramp; stopping right in front of Penny. It was wearing a t-shirt and the "head" consisted of a video monitor displaying a live-feed of Sheldon's face. "What the Hell is that," Leonard exclaimed.

"That is my Mobile Virtual Personal Presence device," Sheldon's face declared. Since I have determined I will not live long enough to transfer my brain capacity to a cyber-structure; I must bunker down in a safe location to protect myself as long as possible." Looking right at Penny, the screen asked: "do you know what cyber-presence is?"

"I'm just a talking monkey to you, aren't I," she replied; "isn't that like robot stuff."

"Correct...very good," Sheldon replied through the screen.

"Thank you," she responded, "here's another fact for you: did you know that Superman was not the first superhero to live in Gotham...it was the Green Lantern."

On the screen, Sheldon's jaw dropped and he replied: "yes I did know that...but I can't believe you did. Touché maybe there's hope for you yet."

"The Green Lantern...that can't be true," Howard exclaimed, totally surprised that Penny knew something about comics that he didn't. She would never tell that she had just read the fact on a Snapple bottlecap.

"This is ridiculous, I'm coming in there to talk to you," Leonard said and headed for Sheldon's bedroom.

"You don't know where I am," Sheldon challenged him, "I'm ensconced in a secret secure location."

"I can see your room in the background," Leonard told him as he rounded the corner hall.

Back in the living room, Penny looked at her two couch-mates and asked: "OK which of you weirdos wants to buy my panties...only fourteen hundred bucks."

Their eyes opened as wide as saucers and Raj began whispering in Howard's ear. Howard spoke: "do we get to watch you take them off...you know, to authenticate that they're yours."

Penny was completely shocked that they had called her bluff. She had been certain that it was just a joke, but if they were actually willing to pay her that much money...why not. "Sure," she told them, "I'll do it right now."

Howard agreed by saying: "you know I'll have to go to the bank and give you the money tomorrow; but we're good for it."

"You better be; I know people who can hurt you," she answered. Looking around to make sure Leonard was not coming back, she stood up, reached up under her dress and slowly slid her panties down her long shapely legs. She had worn a skimpy transparent pink lace pair and it was now twirling around her finger, right in their faces.

"Holy shit," Howard raised his voice as he grabbed them and clutched them in his hand. He fought the urge to bury his nose in them and turned to Raj. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but knew they were arguing about who got custody of them the first night. Raj rushed over to the kitchen, rummaged around and returned with a Ziploc bag. They quickly stuffed the worn panties into the plastic bag to conserve her earthy scent.

"I would offer to sell you my bra, but I rarely wear one," she admitted, and they just nodded their heads in pleasant agreement. The rest of the evening continued normally; if any evening that involved Sheldon can be considered normal.

When she had returned to her apartment across the hall, Penny changed into more comfy clothes and sat on her sofa just ruminating about her life, career and love life. Tomorrow she would pay off her debt to Leonard, but knew it was just a matter of time before he would financially bail her out again, since her acting career was going nowhere. She had made the lowest budget "Serial-Apeist" when she first arrived in California, but the only offers she had gotten since then were for soft and hardcore porn. Her agent had been brutally honest with her when assessing her acting skills: "Penny, you're a sweet person, but I hope your waitressing talents are better than your acting." He had basically told her to call him if she changed her mind about the porn.

Trying not to be discouraged she had continues her acting classes, and firmly believed she had improved. She realized that her whole lifestyle depended on receiving huge tips at the Cheesecake Factory, which was why she always undid a couple extra buttons on her blouse for the male customers and made a point of bending over a lot. A slow tip month, or any unexpected expenses meant borrowing from Leonard. "Ahh, Leonard," she thought, "what a sweetheart. Always there for me and never expecting anything in return. Chivalrous, that was what he was." They had dated for awhile, but once when they were basking in the afterglow of incredible sex, he had told her he loved her.

Having been dumped herself a few times, she was now very leery of commitment of any kind and had quickly told him they should just be friends. She knew deep down that Leonard would never break her heart, but just couldn't bring herself to commit to a nerd. It was a shame though, because the sex was unbelievable. He was definitely king of foreplay and she regarded his penis to be the perfect size for her: nine inches of super fat meat. While thinking of him, her hand had drifted down inside her shorts and was rubbing herself through her new panties. When she realized what she was doing, she swiftly yanked her hand out and smiled to herself, thinking: "if he only knew what he did to me."

Since breaking up, she was now on her third boyfriend and knew that none of them had been as much fun as the nerd across the hall. She and Leonard had gone out, as friends, a few times since the breakup; mostly when their other friends were busy. Once they had run into each other on the stairs and Leonard had invited her to accompany him to the park and fly his drone. It turned out to be the most fun she had ever had on a date; even though it really wasn't a date. He had invited her to their paintball contests; which she loved.

Once she had invited him to the movies with the stipulation that she got to pick the movie. She had chosen a Jennifer Aniston comedy which he grudgingly admitted he enjoyed. He endeared himself to her by telling her that she was just as good an actress as Aniston. Reluctantly, she had to admit they were extremely compatible.

The next morning she answered her door before her eyes were completely open; the sun barely streaming in her bedroom window; and Howard handed her a puffy envelope. He lingered too long on her threshold, staring at her nipples poking through her thin white tank-top and she slammed the door without even speaking. Truthfully she enjoyed the effect she had on men and a smile crossed her face as her thumb flipped through the cash in the envelope. Sitting on the sofa, she pondered how easy it had been to extract money from the nerds just with her sexuality...no work involved. Her rent would be due in another two weeks and there was no way she wouldn't be late with it.

Sighing deeply, she came to a conclusion that probably the time had arrived when she was going to have to use her natural attributes and talents to earn some money. It wasn't like it was the first time she had thought about acting in "adult" films; her agent had mentioned several times that Casting Directors had looked at her pictures and suggested it. Rationalizing, she reminded herself of how much she enjoyed sex and that getting paid for it was just a bonus. Without even realizing it, she thought to herself that she wished Leonard was a porn star. Plopping down on the couch, she grabbed her phone and punched in her agent's number.

"Hi, Jerry...it's Penny. I'm ready," was all she had to say.

Penny could almost hear him smiling as he knew immediately what she was referring to and replied, "well that's great...let's make some money. You called at the most opportune time; my buddy Garret Lewis is casting for a new film and I've shown him your topless scene from Serial Ape-ist several times. He loves your look and I'm betting he'll cast you without an audition. Let me call him and get back to you. You're making the smart decision." Within two hours Jerry had called her back with the good news that she had a job. He gave her an address in Burbank; which meant she would have to ask Leonard to borrow his car. She would meet with this Garret the next day to take care of paperwork and get a script.

She immediately called Leonard at work and, as expected, he agreed without even asking the reason: "sure...anytime, you know that. We'll swap keys tonight at the Cheesecake Factory. You're in luck: tonight's Anything-Goes-Thursday and Sheldon wants his favorite cheeseburger." She knew he was being sarcastic, because no waitress in the world would feel lucky to see Sheldon Cooper walking into their restaurant. Once again she was reminded of how sweet Leonard could be, and he always seemed to be there when she needed him. Knowing she was going to be naked on camera, she decided to take a nice long bath and shave everything from the neck down.

Friday morning she dressed in her favorite skinny-jeans and a tank top for her trip to Burbank, knowing she didn't have to impress the Director: she already had the job. How great that phrase sounded in her head as she slid behind the wheel of Leonard's car and turned the key. No "Check Engine" light; what a nice and comforting sight. "He's such a sweetie," she thought as she drove to her meeting feeling both apprehensive and excited. Using the GPS on her phone, the destination looked like a big warehouse. Walking inside, on shaky knees, she discovered that part of the warehouse was partitioned off into offices, and other parts sectioned off into various rooms used as film sets.

A pleasant receptionist looked her up and down and then escorted her to Garret Lewis' office. He reminded her of the actor who played the character Deacon, on King of Queens and seemed genuinely pleased to meet her. "Jerry has told me so much about you that I feel like we're old friends," he stated as she settled into a nice leather chair. "I loved you in Serial Ape-ist; the movie was horrible but you made it worth watching." Penny felt like she was actually blushing as he continued: "you have a great ass. You're a little small on top, but perfectly shaped...if you want a career in this business, you really should consider some augmentation."

That took a little wind out of her sails because she had always been so proud of "the twins;" and she wanted to respond that she had no intention of making porn her career, but didn't want to put her chance on this film in jeopardy.

Handing her a folder, he continued: "here is your script; of course the dialog really isn't all that important in these films, and some improvisation is expected as long as the storyline isn't compromised. The premise is that you are a first-year teacher, fresh from your student-teaching assignment and you've been assigned a job in a troubled inner-city school because you have the least seniority. You come in with high standards and are failing several students. In the first scene you are in charge of the detention room after school and get into a confrontation with a few of your students. It's a pretty straight-forward multiple-partner sex scene."

Penny signed all the contracts and release forms before leaving, her knees still shaking. Thankful that she hadn't been scheduled at the Cheesecake Factory for Sunday, she would have plenty of time to memorize her lines. On the drive back to Pasadena she enjoyed the excellent climate-control in Leonard's car. The AC in her car had never worked and it felt like a real luxury to be bathed in the cool air on a stifling day. She pulled up to her building just as Leonard and Sheldon were getting out of her car, and Sheldon took the opportunity to confront her: "this car is a death trap...the smiley sticker over the check-engine light isn't fooling anyone."

"Nice to see you too Sheldon," she answered smiling, "hi Leonard, thank you so much for switching with me...could we do this again on Monday?"

"Of course...I told you anytime; and by the way, your AC works now. It was just a fuse...I actually fixed it myself. Just watch out that it doesn't overheat with the added strain on the engine," he informed her.

"Oh my God...thank you," she leaned forward and kissed his cheek; noticing that he blushed. "What a sweetheart," she thought to herself as they climbed the stairs. Rounding one of the corners she glanced back and caught him staring at the way her ass moved in her tight jeans.

Reaching their floor, Leonard asked: "so did you get a part?"

Thinking quickly so that she didn't lie to him, Penny responded: "yes, but it's one of those indie-films that will probably be released directly on DVD or Blue-ray...or not at all if they can't find a buyer."

"Well be sure to let us know when it's released so we can get it," he told her.

"Yes...we'll rush right out," Sheldon attempted sarcasm.

"You want to join us for dinner," Leonard asked, "Raj and Howard are bringing Chinese."

Smiling, she answered: "I wish I could sweetie, but I've got work tonight...thanks anyway."

Sunday, she studied her lines all morning and just as she put her script in her purse, there was a knock on the door and Leonard's voice calling," Penny...you home?"

Opening the door she grinned and stated: "what a pleasant surprise."

"Really," Leonard seemed shocked, "I guess there's a first time for everything. "I'm not used to being a pleasant anything."

"Well I guess people just don't know you as well as I do," she winked at him and again was rewarded with a blush.

"I won't take NO for an answer...you're joining us for takeout barbeque," he told her, trying to fake being stern.

"Ooo, take-charge Leonard...I like it," she responded, "I would be delighted. You know what goes good with barbeque...margaritas. Give me a minute and I'll whip up a pitcher." He watched her pour the tequila and triple-sec while he sliced the lime, and they laughed across the hall. Raj and Howard were there, and the beverage allowed Raj to talk to her. Howard, of course, kept staring at her because she had been dressed in just her favorite Hello Kitty shorts and a tank top. Just relaxing in her own apartment, she hadn't bothered with a bra and her incredible breasts wobbled with every movement.

Always the expert on every subject, Sheldon critiqued the barbeque: "being a native Texan, I must admit that this barbeque is not bad...not great...but not bad. Congratulations Leonard, you didn't disappoint us."

"That's a first for Leonard; right Penny," Howard joked. Ever since Penny broke up with Leonard, they had all belittled him; assuming he had not lived up to her standards in the sack.

Penny immediately jumped in: "I don't know what you're talking about Howard...Leonard never disappointed me...never."

"Thank you," was all Leonard could say; extremely grateful for her defense.

"You know, I've figured out why Penny loves tequila so much," Sheldon broke in, wanting to be the center of attention, "it's because she found out that tequila can be turned into diamonds."

"Shut up...what are you talking about," she wanted to know.

"It's true," he continued, "80-proof tequila has the perfect proportion of ethanol to water. By evaporating the tequila into a vapor and then heating the vapor; teeny tiny diamond crystals form into a thin diamond film."

"So tequila is a girl's best friend," Leonard laughed, "who knew."

"So what do you say Penny," Howard leered, "I'll bring the tequila and let's make some diamonds."

"Not for all the tequila in Mexico," she grinned as she seductively licked the barbeque sauce off her fingers. After the meal, Penny helped them clean up the coffee table after the messy barbeque and then she and Leonard swapped keys for the next day. "Thank you," she said seriously, "you are the sweetest man I know."

Early Monday morning she dressed in her perception of a rookie "schoolmarm:" an ankle length grey pencil skirt with a plain button-up blouse. Underneath, her true colors betrayed her because she wore a lavender colored matching lace bra and panties. She knew that the wardrobe supervisor may have already picked out something for her, but she just felt comfortable in her own clothes (even though she knew she wouldn't be wearing them for long). Slipping on flats, she resisted the urge to go for five inch heels. Getting into Leonard's car, she saw he had left her a small Hefty container filled with sliced strawberries. There was no note or anything; just a thoughtful gesture. "What a sweetie," she smiled, popping half a berry into her mouth.

Garret Lewis was thrilled with the wardrobe she had chosen, thinking it fit perfectly with the personality of her character. The opening scene took place in a detention study room inhabited by her character (named Delores Slutsky) and four of her students. They had earned detention by misbehaving in her class, and were none too happy about it. In keeping with the theme of a stereotyped inner-city troubled school, all four of the students were black males...large, tough-looking black males. Leaning back against the front of the teacher's desk Ms Slutsky (Penny) began: "you're all here for being disruptive in my class, so get busy on your homework...you all need to ace it."

Raising his hand, one of the youths spoke out: "Ms Slutsky, the coach is gonna be pissed when we're late for football practice."

"Please temper your language, Luther," she suggested, "and I'll give you a note. I'm sure he would rather you be late then be booted from the team for failing my class." Luther was about six foot five with his hair in cornrows and already had numerous tattoos on his arms. He, and the other three students, towered over Ms Slutsky and seemed truly dangerous.