(Fictional story about fictional characters)
(A stand-alone story)
***
Penny had lucked out...big time. Today the pharmaceutical company that Bernadette had helped her get a job with had announced that because they had such a banner fiscal year, they were going to hold their yearly convention at an all-inclusive resort on the island of Jamaica. Any executives, researchers, or sales staff who had been with the company for a full calendar year would be eligible to attend for free (air fare included). Penny had been employed there for one year and thirteen days. She actually jumped in the air for joy when she read the memo. The first thing she did was call her husband, and Leonard had been overjoyed and agreed that they could definitely afford his plane ticket to join her in paradise. He even suggested, "we could pretend it was the honeymoon we never had." The second thing she did was to call Bernadette and thank her again for helping her land the position of sales-representative.
Arriving home that afternoon she hugged Leonard tightly and asked, "do you think we should ask Sheldon to go." Even though Sheldon was living with his girlfriend Amy now, in what used to be Penny's apartment, she still worried about leaving him alone.
"Well, you can ask...but this is Sheldon we're talking about," Leonard reminded her while squeezing the most perfect ass he had ever felt.
They crossed the hall to 4B and Penny turned the tables on the fastidious genius by knocking: knock, knock, knock, "Sheldon,"...knock, knock, knock, "Sheldon,"...knock, knock, knock, "Sheldon."
The door flew open and a smug Sheldon drolly stated, "very funny...but I bet by the time you got to the third knock, you found it very satisfying."
"You're not wrong," she replied, "anyway we have something to ask you. They entered her former apartment and explained the good news before asking him if he and Amy could come with them.
"Are you delirious," he exclaimed, "to a foreign country...an island, at that. Oh, sure and while I'm at it why don't I just brush my teeth with the toilet brush. Those Caribbean islands are rampant with crime and disease. I don't think so...and I'm sure I speak for Amy as well."
"Are you sure, because the company has booked the entire resort and you would have to bunk with me and Leonard...it's a suite with two queen beds...very posh," Penny told him.
"Hey, you didn't tell me about having to share a room with Ichabod," Leonard objected and was met with a cold stare from his wife.
"Oh...sharing a room...this offer just keeps getting more attractive," Sheldon sarcastically replied, "again...no thank you."
"Told ya," Leonard commented.
"OK then...just thought I'd ask," Penny responded, "it's going to be fun."
"Yes, if you consider dysentery and malaria amusing," he mumbled as the Hofstadters left the apartment.
"This isn't 1900," Leonard yelled over his shoulder, "wow, we dodged the proverbial bullet there."
"You don't worry about him," Penny asked.
"He's with Amy," Leonard answered, "if ever two people were meant for each other..."
When Amy got home that day she met Penny on the stairs with a laundry basket in her hands and Penny commented, "sorry you're not going to Jamaica with us...it would have been fun." Amy's eyes grew so large they looked like they would explode, but she didn't let on that Sheldon had not mentioned the trip to her; she liked everyone to think they had the perfect relationship.
When she entered the apartment, she immediately went up to Sheldon and shouted, "why didn't you tell me that my "bestie" invited us to go to Jamaica with them," and she actually slapped his arm. He recoiled as if he had been shot with a gun, his muscle tone resembling that of veal. "You should have asked me."
"Ouch," he complained, "I was afraid you would say yes. We would have been sharing a room with them. Leonard's lactose intolerance and being in a foreign country with who-knows-what on the menu is not a desirable combination."
"But they invited us," Amy pleaded, "it was an opportunity to bond with my "bestie," and we never get invited anyplace."
"I know," Sheldon agreed with a smirk on his face, "let's hope our luck holds out."
The next day at the university, Sheldon asked Raj, "you'll never guess what Leonard and Penny had the nerve to ask me yesterday."
"If it's about Jamaica," Raj replied, "Howard asked me the same thing. I was going to go but I could hear Bernadette screaming at him in the background about not wanting to share a room, so I declined. It's just as well because I finally had booked time on the new telescope and there's no telling when I could have rescheduled."
"Women," Sheldon scoffed, "Amy had a very unpredictable reaction also. Who can figure...she isn't speaking to me."
For the next week, all Penny could think about was the trip. When Leonard was on his laptop, she came wandering out of the bedroom wearing the skimpiest orange string bikini he had ever seen. It was the kind where you could pull the material to make it smaller and her areola and mound were barely covered. "What do you think about this for the beach," she asked in a pouty, sexy manner.
Leonard nearly choked when he saw it and answered, "well I hope your company will be providing free heart medication samples. Oh my God, you look amazing. What is this convention all about anyway."
"You old sweet talker...I just may let you take this off me. Well as far as I can tell, the company invites all these large hospital administrators, influential doctors, insurance providers, and pharmacy executives...like from CVS and Walgreens; and they ply them with free accommodations, sun, sand and free booze and try to convince them to buy their drugs."
"So are you required to do anything," he asked.
"Well I guess we're supposed to attend the seminars where they explain new drugs, but Bernadette says she never goes. She tries to get someone to just sign her name. I might have to go to a couple, since I'm new; but basically it's going to be a paid vacation for me and my man." She danced around the room in her bikini, her absolutely perfect breasts bouncing and jiggling, threatening to escape the skimpy material; the thong bottom disappearing up between her round cheeks.
Trying his best to concentrate on the logistics of the trip, Leonard asked, "you have a passport, right?"
"You know I do sweetie," she assured him, "remember a couple years ago you were going to take me to Switzerland to see that halo thingy on Valentine's Day."
"Oh yeah, you mean the Hadron Collider. Then you and Sheldon came down with the flu and I had to take Raj...now there's a Valentine's Day I'd like to forget."