(Fictional story about fictional characters)
This is a stand-alone story.
*****
Ascending the stairs to her fourth floor apartment, Penny could hear yelling coming from 4A and just shook her head in acknowledgment: the nerds were arguing again. She smiled at the mental picture of her lovable boyfriend, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, exchanging words with his annoying, but brilliant roommate, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Since she had stopped at Costco on her way home from the Cheesecake Factory and was carrying two large grocery bags, Penny went straight to her apartment across the hall before attempting to intervene in the discussion. Quickly shedding her loathsome waitress uniform and donning a favorite pair of black leggings and a loose-fitting Hello Kitty t-shirt, she wandered over, and without knocking entered her neighbors apartment.
Even in the midst of an argument, Sheldon jerked his head toward the door and demanded, "have I taught you nothing...I didn't hear a knock."
Sarcastically, Penny replied, "I tried to knock but my neighbors were making so much noise, you probably didn't hear me."
"I hear everything," he assured her.
"It's true," Howard Wolowitz added, "he has Vulcan hearing." Howard worked with the roommates at Cal Tech and had the personality of what Penny would call a "sleazebag." Every time he looked at her it was more like a leer, and she could just sense him undressing her with his eyes. Many times she had turned around quickly when leaving the room and caught him staring at her ass. Surprisingly, her demure co-worker, Bernadette, had recently asked Penny to introduce her to Howard.
"Whatever," Penny hissed, "what is the problem over here?"
The forth nerd, Raj Koothrappali who was also a colleague at Cal Tech, explained, "you remember the paper that Leonard and Sheldon co-authored and submitted to "Scientific American?" As Penny nodded in the negative, Raj continued, "well it was published and the magazine would like them to jointly present their findings at a forum hosted by Cal Tech." Only recently had Raj come put of his shell and been able to talk to Penny without the aid of alcohol-courage.
"OK, so what's the problem," she asked again.
"Well, Sheldon here doesn't want to present it in public; and won't admit it's because of his fear of public speaking," Leonard told her.
"Not true," Sheldon interjected, "I just feel the body of work speaks for itself and there is no need to seek public adulation...especially in front of a bunch of barely literate sycophants. I think we should settle this the democratic way...with a vote...what say you Howard."
Always attempting to kiss-up to Sheldon, Howard answered, "well there never are any babes at those university gatherings, so I vote No."
"Wonderful," Sheldon remarked, "that makes two No's...what about you Raj."
"Well I think it would be a good opportunity for Leonard to advance his visibility at the university, so I vote Yes," Raj volunteered.
Smugly, Leonard challenged Sheldon, "well, that makes it two to two. Penny it looks like you have the tie-breaker."
"Wait a minute," Sheldon demanded, "she isn't even a scientist...why does she get a vote?"
"Do you see anyone else here to break the tie," Leonard asked.
"Unfortunately I see no flaw in that logic," Sheldon admitted, his shoulders drooping.
Penny had retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator and was barely still paying attention as they all looked at her waiting for her to cast the deciding vote. Knowing how much Sheldon hated speaking in public and if he was forced to, she knew she would have to listen to him whine for weeks, she simply said, "well if Sheldon doesn't want to speak in front of an audience, I don't think he should have to."
"A-ha," Sheldon shouted in victory, "I win."
"The reason Sheldon should have to speak in public is because if we don't present the findings jointly, then they don't want them presented at all...in other words: Sheldon wins again and Leonard loses again," Leonard yelled, catching everyone by surprise. "I may never get another opportunity like this again."
Completely caught off guard, Penny spoke, "I'm sorry...I didn't realize it meant that much to you."
"You know what," Leonard continued to yell, "I'm sick of this...you always take Sheldon's side. If there is one person in this room that should always have my back, whether I'm right or not, it's my girlfriend...I have always had yours...always." Having totally lost his composure over this last straw, Leonard stormed out of the apartment without even taking his keys out of the bowl.
For a minute, all four remaining people in the apartment just froze in place with their mouths open in astonishment. They had never seen Leonard lose his cool before. Raj finally broke the silence, "he's right you know."
"What are you talking about," Penny inquired.
"Yeah, he's right, you do always take Sheldon's side...it's freaky," Howard agreed.
"No way...you're crazy," Penny denied.
"Actually they are correct," Sheldon agreed, "although it's not surprising since I am invariably right."
Penny began to reply, and then just stood there thinking back to all the times she could remember the roommates having disagreements. "Holy crap on a cracker," she proclaimed, "I do always take your side...poor Leonard."
"He's also right that he has always had your back...more times than you know," Howard added.
"You remember Kurt don't you," Sheldon asked.
Penny began to giggle, and thought better of it: "you mean that time you two went to get my TV back from him and you came back without my TV or your pants?"
"That was only the half of it," Sheldon began, "your Neanderthal former boyfriend kept our pants which contained our wallets, and Leonard's car keys. Our phones were locked in Leonard's car. We couldn't hire a cab, take a bus, or call for help...we had to walk all the way home in our underwear."
"That gets funnier every time I hear it," Howard laughed until Penny shot him a stern look that could produce icicles.
"Yes, hilarious," Sheldon continued, "and do you remember the time you told Leonard you might have to move because you couldn't afford your rent and the reason was because Kurt had borrowed so much money from you to cover his parking tickets, and didn't pay you back."
"I remember that," Penny admitted.
"Well, what you don't know is that Leonard took it upon himself to pay Kurt another visit...which I must say took a lot of courage," Sheldon told her. "Anyway, this time Kurt laughed at him and used a Sharpie to write an I-O-U on Leonard's forehead."
"Oh my God," Penny exclaimed, "is that when he wore that ridiculous knit hat around for about a month. I made fun of him so many times. I thought it was just a nerd thing...thinking it was cool or something. God, I was such a bitch to him."
"Yes," Sheldon agreed, "but do you remember what happened about a week later. Out of the blue Kurt showed up at your apartment and repaid the money...and do you remember what you did?"
"You thought he was so sweet to remember, that you started dating him again," Howard shouted out.
"Yes, and can you imagine how that made Leonard feel," Sheldon asked.
"Holy crap...poor Leonard," Penny stated as she sank into Leonard's chair, "why didn't he say something."
"Because Leonard is one of a dying breed who still believes in chivalry," Sheldon informed her, "if one brags about one's chivalrous deed, then it ceases to be noble. I have to admit that is one of the few traits about Leonard that I admire."
"What about that time you were going to quit the Cheesecake Factory and Leonard talked you out of it," Sheldon asked, "and you were mad at him for not believing in you; even though he was just being practical."
"Yeah but you agreed with me that quitting would be the best thing if I was serious about being an actress," Penny said.
"On the contrary," Sheldon explained, "I said the best way to succeed at a person's skill was to devote one hundred per-cent of their time to it. Clearly, acting is not your skill and quitting the Cheesecake Factory would have been a huge mistake."
"What...why didn't you tell me that at the time," Penny asked, "I was so mad at Leonard."
"That was during the time you were trying to teach me empathy, and I didn't want you to think you were also a failure at that," Sheldon stated, "I know you were upset and he was in turn upset with me for causing the rift between you. He didn't speak to me for two weeks and made me take the bus to work. After the first day I couldn't do that because I only have one pair of bus-pants and, as you know, I only do my laundry once a week."
"And guess who was the lucky one he called for a ride to work every day," Raj added.
