(Fictional story about fictional characters)
This is a stand-alone story.
*****
Ascending the stairs to her fourth floor apartment, Penny could hear yelling coming from 4A and just shook her head in acknowledgment: the nerds were arguing again. She smiled at the mental picture of her lovable boyfriend, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, exchanging words with his annoying, but brilliant roommate, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Since she had stopped at Costco on her way home from the Cheesecake Factory and was carrying two large grocery bags, Penny went straight to her apartment across the hall before attempting to intervene in the discussion. Quickly shedding her loathsome waitress uniform and donning a favorite pair of black leggings and a loose-fitting Hello Kitty t-shirt, she wandered over, and without knocking entered her neighbors apartment.
Even in the midst of an argument, Sheldon jerked his head toward the door and demanded, "have I taught you nothing...I didn't hear a knock."
Sarcastically, Penny replied, "I tried to knock but my neighbors were making so much noise, you probably didn't hear me."
"I hear everything," he assured her.
"It's true," Howard Wolowitz added, "he has Vulcan hearing." Howard worked with the roommates at Cal Tech and had the personality of what Penny would call a "sleazebag." Every time he looked at her it was more like a leer, and she could just sense him undressing her with his eyes. Many times she had turned around quickly when leaving the room and caught him staring at her ass. Surprisingly, her demure co-worker, Bernadette, had recently asked Penny to introduce her to Howard.
"Whatever," Penny hissed, "what is the problem over here?"
The forth nerd, Raj Koothrappali who was also a colleague at Cal Tech, explained, "you remember the paper that Leonard and Sheldon co-authored and submitted to "Scientific American?" As Penny nodded in the negative, Raj continued, "well it was published and the magazine would like them to jointly present their findings at a forum hosted by Cal Tech." Only recently had Raj come put of his shell and been able to talk to Penny without the aid of alcohol-courage.
"OK, so what's the problem," she asked again.
"Well, Sheldon here doesn't want to present it in public; and won't admit it's because of his fear of public speaking," Leonard told her.
"Not true," Sheldon interjected, "I just feel the body of work speaks for itself and there is no need to seek public adulation...especially in front of a bunch of barely literate sycophants. I think we should settle this the democratic way...with a vote...what say you Howard."
Always attempting to kiss-up to Sheldon, Howard answered, "well there never are any babes at those university gatherings, so I vote No."
"Wonderful," Sheldon remarked, "that makes two No's...what about you Raj."
"Well I think it would be a good opportunity for Leonard to advance his visibility at the university, so I vote Yes," Raj volunteered.
Smugly, Leonard challenged Sheldon, "well, that makes it two to two. Penny it looks like you have the tie-breaker."
"Wait a minute," Sheldon demanded, "she isn't even a scientist...why does she get a vote?"
"Do you see anyone else here to break the tie," Leonard asked.
"Unfortunately I see no flaw in that logic," Sheldon admitted, his shoulders drooping.
Penny had retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator and was barely still paying attention as they all looked at her waiting for her to cast the deciding vote. Knowing how much Sheldon hated speaking in public and if he was forced to, she knew she would have to listen to him whine for weeks, she simply said, "well if Sheldon doesn't want to speak in front of an audience, I don't think he should have to."
"A-ha," Sheldon shouted in victory, "I win."
"The reason Sheldon should have to speak in public is because if we don't present the findings jointly, then they don't want them presented at all...in other words: Sheldon wins again and Leonard loses again," Leonard yelled, catching everyone by surprise. "I may never get another opportunity like this again."
Completely caught off guard, Penny spoke, "I'm sorry...I didn't realize it meant that much to you."
"You know what," Leonard continued to yell, "I'm sick of this...you always take Sheldon's side. If there is one person in this room that should always have my back, whether I'm right or not, it's my girlfriend...I have always had yours...always." Having totally lost his composure over this last straw, Leonard stormed out of the apartment without even taking his keys out of the bowl.
For a minute, all four remaining people in the apartment just froze in place with their mouths open in astonishment. They had never seen Leonard lose his cool before. Raj finally broke the silence, "he's right you know."
"What are you talking about," Penny inquired.
"Yeah, he's right, you do always take Sheldon's side...it's freaky," Howard agreed.
"No way...you're crazy," Penny denied.
"Actually they are correct," Sheldon agreed, "although it's not surprising since I am invariably right."
Penny began to reply, and then just stood there thinking back to all the times she could remember the roommates having disagreements. "Holy crap on a cracker," she proclaimed, "I do always take your side...poor Leonard."
"He's also right that he has always had your back...more times than you know," Howard added.
"You remember Kurt don't you," Sheldon asked.
Penny began to giggle, and thought better of it: "you mean that time you two went to get my TV back from him and you came back without my TV or your pants?"
