Big Bang Theory - Blonds on Blacs

(fictional story about fictional characters)

It was a typical Wednesday at Zangen Pharmaceutical and Penny was sitting in her tiny office going over her notes for the next days sales calls. This month they were pushing their new antibacterial ointment and cream which they hoped would put a dent in the sales of competitor Neosporin. Just as she was wondering what to do for lunch, a familiar face peeked around her door frame with a grin from ear to ear. "Leonard," she exclaimed with a grin just as large, "what a surprise...what are you doing here." She couldn't help but notice that he had foregone his usual t-shirt for a button up dress shirt and jacket. "Looking mighty handsome, I must say."

"I was thinking about the most beautiful woman in the universe and wondered if she was free for lunch," he told her. "But she wasn't in, so I thought you might be interested," he teased, still grinning. "As Sheldon would say...bazinga!"

"You just couldn't stop at the compliment, could you," she teased him back, walking around the desk and putting her arms around his neck.

Watching her coming toward him, Leonard let out a little gasp of breath and remarked: "jeez...you are so hot. I am the luckiest man in the universe." She had on a plain gray pencil skirt with a long slit up the side so she could walk and a plain light blue blouse with long sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Typical business attire, but totally sexy to Leonard. She leaned in and they locked lips like newlyweds; for about eight Mississippi's.

When they broke their embrace, Penny admitted: "sometimes you really amaze me. You keep telling me there is no such thing as psychics, but I was just thinking about what to do for lunch when you walked in...let's go...surprise me." He gestured for her to go through the door first and she remarked over her shoulder: "you're looking at my ass, aren't you."

"You know me so well," he chuckled. He took her to Celestino's, a local restaurant specializing in Italian cuisine, where they could dine alfresco. "Well, are you surprised," he asked.

"Surprised and absolutely delighted," she admitted, "this is so nice. You never cease to amaze me...I am so happy to be your wife." Continuing with small talk over lunch she remarked: "can you imagine taking Sheldon here...eating outside."

"I can hear him now," Leonard mocked, "we might as well roll around in the dirt with the ants."

"So what were the guys doing for lunch," she asked.

"Cafeteria, I think," he answered, "Howard was droning on about something, and you know I really don't hang out with him anymore after the way he and Bernadette screwed you over. I'll never be able to forgive him for that; but although I don't condone it, I kinda understand how a person would be willing to do almost anything to make sure the person they love is happy."

When they got back to Zangen, Leonard walked Penny up to her floor and she asked the receptionist: "is Godzilla in?"

Bernadette was such a bossy shrew that she had earned that nickname and it was a running joke among her associates...behind her back, of course. Leslie replied: "no she won't be in until tomorrow; she had to go to Santa Barbara for a recruiting drive at U.C. Santa Barbara. Some of us are going home early."

"Oh wow," Penny answered, "that's a two hour drive one way and there's always traffic on the 101. Glad I'm not her."

"Yeah, but you know her," Leslie observed, "if she feels tired, she'll just stay in a Hilton overnight and put it on her expense account."

Penny just nodded her head and turned to Leonard: "you've never seen her office have you...follow me."

"With pleasure," he joked as he watched her ass glide from side to side down the hall, her long legs ending at her four inch heels. When she opened the door to Bernadette's office, Leonard stopped dead in his tracks and simply uttered: "wow." It was a white and glass wonderland. Her plexiglass desk was the largest he had ever seen. There were two very well padded white leather chairs and a matching sofa. He immediately plopped down on the couch and exclaimed: "nice...so soft. We don't even have furniture this nice at home."

"Yeah, she spared none of the company's expense," Penny spit out with more than a touch of bitterness in her voice. "She was credited with that one sales campaign; where I did most of the grunt work; and they let her have this office, and decorate it any way she wanted. She loves this couch. I used to catch her taking naps on it all the time...you know, when we were friends. I don't come in here any more unless summoned by the queen."

Naughty ideas suddenly springing forth in her brain, Penny nonchalantly made sure the vertical blinds on the inner windows were fully closed and then walked back to lean against Bernadette's desk. Without Leonard even noticing, she had twisted her skirt around so that the slit was now in front, between her legs. Casually, she hoisted herself up so that she was sitting on the front of the desk, facing Leonard on the sofa. "You know," she suggested, "it's a real shame that an office this nice is not being used...for something."

As she was talking, she seductively spread her legs as wide as the skirt allowed, permitting Leonard to plainly see the crotch of her pale blue panties. "Holy shit, you are sooo sexy," he gasped as he looked up her skirt. "If you're suggesting what I think; I know Bernadette won't be back today but aren't you worried about someone else coming in."

"Are you kidding," she told him, "no one ever wants to come in this office. They avoid it like the plague. If someone gets called into this office, they get that look of desperation on their face like they're walking that "green mile" going to The Chair."

"Ooo I loved that movie," he admitted, referring, of course, to Stephen King's classic story. As he watched, Penny shifted her ass on the desk, pulling her skirt up her marvelous legs until it was bunched around her waist. Looking closely, he could see a damp spot on her panties, her camel toe distinctly outlined. Leaning forward off the sofa, he crawled on his knees to the desk and positioned himself between her legs. Running his hands up and down her luscious thighs, he was once again amazed at how silky smooth her skin was. Beginning at her knees, he began to kiss his way up her warm legs, alternating the left and then the right. When he kissed around the edges of her panties, Penny's body shivered and she lifted her ass so that he could slide the damp garment, along with her skirt, down, and off, her legs. She slowly unbuttoned her blouse and pulled it down her arms, followed by her flimsy bra, leaving her incredible body naked.

Leonard leaned in to inhale her aroused scent and felt his penis harden. His tongue licked the sides of her bald slit and he watched as her inner labia began to spread open. It was like watching time lapse photography of a flowers petals blossoming as her lips emerged from the depths of her hole. "My God your pussy is beautiful," he praised as the "wings" of her "butterfly" spread apart. He reminded himself of how lucky he was to be worshipping his blond goddess...she truly was the girl of his dreams. He lapped at her slit, savoring her sweet nectar as it seeped out of her pussy. Using his thumbs, he spread her plump lips apart and was rewarded with the sight of her bright pink inner flesh.

Leaning in, he inserted his tongue as far as it would go and used it like a scoop to gather her juices and suck them into his mouth. "Mmmm mmmm good," he mumbled into her crotch. As he lapped at her hole and held her open, his nose brushed against her engorged clit and her pussy went into a spasm. He was rewarded with a face full of cum as it gushed out of her hole.; proving once again that foreplay was the key to pleasing his woman.

"Holy crap on a cracker," Penny groaned as her body twitched on the glass desk top. "No one else has ever made me squirt," she admitted, "baby, I need to feel you inside me...I need you to fuck me." Swiftly standing up, Leonard shoved his trousers and boxers down in record time; his fat nine inch prick springing up. Penny leaned back on the glass, supporting herself with her hands as he nudged his crown against her wet slit. Echoing her urgency, Leonard grasped her firm waist and lunged forward. In one continuous motion, his crown broke through her opening and his rigid meat slid all the way up her tunnel until his scrotum slapped against her ass. "Oh my fucking God," she screeched, "that feels so fucking good."

Her body shivered with another orgasm as he stretched the length of her tunnel in one motion. For Penny, there was no better sensation than that very first penetration and she was in ecstasy as her husband's penis spread her vaginal walls. "Fuck me baby...fuck me," she urged, splaying her legs even further apart. He began to slide his prick in and out of her hole, watching how her fleshy lips gripped his fat rod. Picking up the tempo, he was fascinated at how her creamy white foam now coated his pole as he drove it up into her pussy. For Leonard, there was no better feeling in the world than having his hard-on buried inside his wife's tight cunt. Her magnificent tits were bouncing up and down in rhythm as he slammed into her hole.

When Penny wrapped her long legs around his waist, Leonard put his arms around her nude body and struggled to walk them over to the sofa. With relief, he dropped them both onto the plush white leather, never withdrawing from her hole. "Fuck me baby...fuck your Penny's little cunt," she encouraged him, "your cock feels so good inside me." He loved it when she talked dirty and began to slam into her snug hole, his balls slapping audibly against her wonderful ass. Her magnificent tits had flattened out on her chest and were jiggling like water balloons as her body shook with the force of his thrusts. Bernadette's couch seemed extra deep and they were able to lay down fully with Penny's long legs fully on the cushions as Leonard drilled her pussy.

He loved the "squishy" sounds made by her slit as his pole slid in and out of her juicy tunnel. "Fuck me baby...stretch my cunt," she gasped as he rammed into her hole. "I love you sweetie," she whispered in his ear and it seemed to trigger his orgasm as he exploded deep in her belly. Feeling his warmth spreading inside her and her clit being trapped by his grinding pelvis, Penny squealed: "oh my God...yesss...cum in me baby...fill my fucking cunt." Leonard continued to pump his load deep in her hole until his balls were empty.

They were both perspiring profusely as Leonard rolled off her body, his shriveling cock slipping out of her slit. The sofa was so large that they were able to comfortably lay side by side and recover. "You realize we've soaked Bernadette's spot," he laughed, making fun of the long running joke about "Sheldon's spot." "We really should clean it up," he grinned.

"I have a better idea," Penny suggested, "we don't. Can you imagine how pissed she'll be when she comes in tomorrow and realizes that someone has used her sofa? She will launch a complete investigation...shouting and waving her midget arms. Luckily I have a sales call tomorrow morning." They both laughed out loud at the mental picture and hugged each other tightly.

"Well I better get back to work," he grudgingly stated, "although I'm sure no one will miss me. They'll just think I'm holed up in my lab playing with lasers."

Chuckling, she responded: "well you were holed up and playing, but lasers had nothing to do with it. Thank you for lunch, by the way; it was most enjoyable; my sexy husband."

"You're certainly welcome, my wonderful wife," he answered, "and thank you for dessert."

When Penny returned from her sales call the next day, sure enough, a full scale investigation was under way and the maintenance staff was busy going over the couch with a steam-cleaner. A couple hours later Bernadette called Penny into her office; or "Godzilla's Lair," as it was known. Penny could barely suppress a smile when she saw the stern look on Bernadette's face, and it was even more difficult when she asked: "I don't suppose you will admit to knowing anything about my sofa being violated yesterday." Penny just shrugged her shoulders as she stood casually in front of the desk. "I figured as much," Bernadette snapped, "but that's not the reason I called you in here. It seems George Lucas has another "Golden Gurls" script and would like to begin filming next Wednesday. They're renting a mansion up in the hills of Compton, so it's not a long drive. I guess it's cheaper to rent on weekdays. I'll get the details to you when I get them...that's all."

The next day at the office, George Lucas, who was the Director, got them on a Zoom call to discuss the details of the next in the series of films staring the Golden Gurls. They were to reprise their roles as undercover cops investigating an adult film company who was suspected of smuggling drugs from Mexico. Their characters answered casting calls for female adult actresses and while on the set they would snoop and try to uncover evidence of crimes. "Genius, isn't it," he crowed, "we're making an adult film about making an adult film. We can use our own equipment as sets." The male actors were to be the same as the first two Blonds On Blacks films, with the addition of a sixth. "You're going to love this guy," he told them, "we discovered him in South Africa. His name is Andre."

After giving them directions to the location, everyone hung up and Bernadette immediately called Howard. "Listen, I know damn well it was Penny who told George I like golden-showers, even though he swears it wasn't. I'll have my revenge. Before the shoot, you tell him Penny is really into bondage and being dominated...it has to come from you and not me. I'm sure she hates not being in complete charge...you see how she wears the pants in that relationship. It'll kill her not to be in control. That'll show her who's boss."

"Yeah she's a real ball-buster all right," Howard agreed, "I can't imagine how Leonard must feel being dominated all the time." As he said it, he was glad they were on the phone because she couldn't see him roll his eyes with the sarcasm. He would do anything to keep her happy, but he knew who the real ball-buster was.

When Penny told Leonard about the plans, he held her close and consoled her: "I'm sorry Bernadette got you into this. Any time you want to stop and let them sue you for breach of contract, I'll back you a hundred per-cent. I really don't think the repercussions would be that devastating; I mean your parent live in Nebraska, how would they even find out."

"You know how they would find out," she answered, "Bernadette."

"Yeah, but just remember, the consequences for her would be so much worse. Child Protective Services would surely put Halley in foster care and she would probably lose her cushy job," he surmised. "I wonder if they have a golden-shower scene planned for her," he chuckled.

Raising her blond head off his shoulder, she grinned and told him: "I still can't believe you told George that...you really are a genius. Thank you."

Glad that she was in a better mood, he chided her: "you're welcome...anything for my little porn star."

"Porn star," she exclaimed, "why I oughta..."

"Not 'till later," he interrupted her. The truth was, Howard and Bernadette were playing right into Penny's hands. Even though she had definitely a dominant personality; when it came to sex she actually loved to be the submissive one. She loved to be dominated and have rough sex. They had kept it a secret that they had turned Sheldon's former bedroom into their own sex dungeon, complete with a rack and soft whips. "So, I'll be happy to drive you and wait in the car...you know playing video games on my laptop or something. Are we following the usual routine?" The last time he had played chauffeur for his favorite actress, they had made two stops: the liquor store for a pint of vodka, and 7-Eleven for a Mandarin Big Gulp. A mixture that spelled "liquid courage."

"Absolutely Jeeves," she answered, giving him a suitable chauffer's moniker. Following the GPS on his phone, Leonard was soon pulling into a huge semi-circular drive in front of a mansion that the Beverly Hillbillies would be proud of. It was like something out of an architecture magazine. "Wow," was Penny's only comment as she sipped from her mixed drink, already feeling tipsy.

"You see these places on TV, but don't really think they exist," Leonard stated as he gazed up at the front façade almost in a daze. There were already various cars, box trucks and vans parked in front and soon Leonard joined them. They could see that Bernadette's company car was already there.

"George said not to show up until afternoon because they would be getting everything in place," Penny commented as they walked up to the open front door, and were almost knocked over by someone carrying a large light fixture.

Inside Bernadette was already yelling at Howard: "well what did he say when you told him I'm not really into golden-showers?"

Cowering, Howard answered: "he just kept winking at me and saying, "it's OK, this is the porn business...everyone has their kinks...nothing to be ashamed of.'"

"Did you tell him about Penny and the domination thing," she asked.

"Of course, and he just said, "good to know," Howard told her.

When Penny and Leonard walked into the foyer, it was like something out of Gone With the Wind; a gigantic space surrounded by a circular staircase. Bernadette and Howard were talking at one end and George Lucas descended the staircase, shouting over the hustle and bustle, "there's my two stars. Come over here and we'll have a short talk. We'll be filming here today and tomorrow and then we have to tear everything down and be out by Saturday. Dialog will be at a minimum because this is a porn flick about a porn flick...who cares about the plot. All the costumes are in a room upstairs...and yes there is an elevator...that staircase is a workout. The guys are already here and the first scene will be out by the pool whenever you can get changed. We've given your undercover cops characters names: Penny you are Leather, just because you're taller; and Bernie you are Lace. OK let's get to it."

Finding the elevator, Leonard put Penny in the car and told her: "I'm going to hang out long enough to see you by the pool; because I know I'll never be able to give you this lifestyle. After that, I'll be in the car. Remember, I love you."

Finishing her Big Gulp and handing the cup to Leonard, she kissed him tenderly and reminded him: "I love you too baby...this is just a job." Before finding an inconspicuous spot to stand, Leonard sought out George and whispered something on the sly; to which George just grinned.

Trying to avoid each other while changing, the Golden Gurls walked out to the pool area in awe. It was definitely like something out of a movie...which it was. The pool was huge and shaped like a kidney bean with stone decking about ten yards wide. They had given Bernadette a tiny black bikini, basically made up of three postage stamp size triangles. Her enormous breasts were barely contained and with every step she had to keep adjusting the cloth to cover her nipples. Her huge ass cheeks wobbled as the string had totally disappeared between them.

Penny oozed sex appeal in a neon green, barely there string bikini. Her elliptical pink areola peeked out from the tiny dots of cloth on top and her plump camel toe was clearly distinguishable as it was cupped by the swath of cloth on her crotch. With her endlessly long legs, she was the center of attention. They were both absolutely gorgeous as they lay back in the spacious lounge chairs by the pool. Leonard was watching from a room inside and had to whistle silently as Penny stretched out on the chaise. Neither of the girls really knew what was coming next because the script had just said to relax by the pool. Lucas held up a sign stating: "take off your tops," and so the ladies ceremoniously obliged. Bernadette reached behind her, untied the string around her chest and immediately her gigantic breasts literally spilled put of their confines and flopped all over her chest like giant water balloons.