Bernie And Penny Helping Get Tenure

Leonard, Raj, Howard, and Sheldon were sitting in the cafeteria at CalTech when Barry Kripke approached their table.

"Hewwo, fewwas."

"Hey," they replied in unison.

"Wemember when we were twying to figuwe out what that smell coming fwom Pwofessor Tupperman's office was? Turns out it was Tupperman. Dead at his desk for two weeks."

"Oh, my God," Leonard gasped.

"In wieu of fwowers, the department chair is asking that evewyone donate a bottle of Febweze."

Sheldon was agitated at the sudden turn of events. "If we're going to change the topic from jellyfish, I'd be okay with brine shrimp or the history of the unicycle."

Howard looked at Sheldon with a sideways glance. "Show a little compassion, a man died."

"And turned into a puddew of goo. Now, we can either sit awound and cwy over spilt pwofessor, or we can wejoice in the knowwedge that a tenured position has just opened up. I choose to do the watter."

Sheldon spoke up. "Excuse me, the whole tenure system is ridiculous. A guaranteed job for life only encourages the faculty to become complacent. If we really want science to advance, people should have chips implanted in their skulls that explode when they say something stupid."

Barry began to walk away. "If you need my nose, you'll find it firmwy wodged up the wectum of the tenure committee."

Howard looked around the table. "You Ph.D's gonna go suck up like Kripke?"

Leonard shook his head. "No. I mean, I'll apply, but I'm not gonna stoop to playing politics."

Raj agreed. "Yeah, me neither. It should be about the work. And if I can't get tenure, I'd like to see you or Sheldon get it."

Sheldon looked at Raj. "Raj, don't dangle false hope in front of Leonard like that."

*****

In Penny's apartment later that day...

"So 'tenured' means a job for life?" Penny asked.

Leonard nodded. "Yup."

"You can't get fired even if you're bad at it?"

Leonard thought for a moment. "Mm, not really."

"Wow, sounds a lot like being a pretty waitress at the Cheesecake Factory."

*****

Over in Sheldon's apartment....

"While I disagree with the premise of tenure, if they gave it to me, it wouldn't diminish my output. You know, I'm like the sun. Can't turn this off," Sheldon said.

"Are Rajesh and Leonard competing for it as well?" Amy asked.

Sheldon nodded. "Mm-hmm."

*****

And at Howard and Bernadette's apartment...

"It would be nice to have the increased income. Stop taking money from my parents," Raj said dreamily. "They buy me a new BMW for my birthday but can I get seat warmers? No. 'Rajesh, if you want a warm butt, you're gonna have to pay for it yourself.' Well, maybe I will, old man."

Bernadette grabbed Raj's wine glass. "I think that's enough wine for now." She looked at Howard. "What about you, Howie? Are you going to apply?"

Howard shook his head. "I'd like to but I don't have a Ph.D."

Bernadette smiled. "We might be able to find a way around that."

*****

Back in Penny's apartment...

"So, who do you have to schmooze to get this deal?" Penny asked Leonard.

"I'm not gonna schmooze anybody. I'm gonna let my work speak for itself."

"That's great. That shows a lot of integrity."

"Thank you." Leonard paused. "I'm a naive idiot, right?"

"Oh, good, you heard me." She paused. "Maybe I can help you schmooze."

*****

In Sheldon's apartment...

"You know, if you really want tenure, maybe you should cozy up to the people making the decision," Amy pointed out.

Sheldon shook his head. "Sheldon Cooper does not do cozy."

Amy frowned. "You don't say."

*****

In the CalTech cafeteria the next day...

"You guys goin' to Professor Tupperman's memorial?" Howard asked.

Raj shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know."

Leonard shook his head. "Probably not."

Sheldon also shrugged his shoulders. "Barely knew him."

Howard nodded. "Yeah, you wouldn't want to look like you guys are brown-nosing the tenure committee, who will all be there."

All the better to let Bernie work her magic

he thought with glee.

*****

That evening, at Professor Tupperman's memorial, Amy and Sheldon stood in the lobby.

Amy helped Sheldon prepare. "Let's go over our emotional responses one last time. Professor Tupperman is dead, and that makes us?"

Sheldon nodded. "Sad."

"The fact that there are so many people here tonight doesn't make us cranky and claustrophobic. It makes us?"

"Glad."

"Giving Mrs. Davis the box set of Roots was?"

"Bad. However..."

"No."

"Fine. Bad."

Suddenly, Raj was standing next to them. He shook his head. "Unbelievable. You have some nerve showing up here just to schmooze with the tenure committee."

Sheldon looked him up and down. "You're here."

"Excuse me. I'm here to pay my respects to Professor Tupperware, or whatever his name is."

"So am I. His passing makes me feel bad." Sheldon looked to Amy. She nodded and winked, indicating he gave the correct emotional response.

Then Leonard and Penny appeared. "Well, well, well, Sheldon, fancy meeting you here. I guess the train store in Glendale wasn't having a cotillion after all," Leonard said. Then he turned to Raj. "And you, you said you weren't coming here, either."

Raj looked him in the eye. "I have a thick accent. You don't know what I said."

Amy looked at Penny. "I'd like to know why Penny's here."

"I'm here to support my man, just like you."

Sheldon looked at her incredulously. "What are you going to do? Take people's drink orders and get them wrong?"

Leonard nodded at Penny. "Do it."

Penny quite proudly threw off the coat she was wearing, revealing a little black dress. "Little" doesn't accurately describe it. Her long blonde hair fell over the black velvet material. It was strapless with a neckline that plunged deep into her breasts. It looked like it might have been built for size 34B cups, not Penny's 36C cups. They were spilling over the top. The dress clung to her curves all the way down to the hem that didn't even reach mid-thigh. The black high heels only made her lean, tan legs look even longer than they already were. She was stunning.

Sheldon was oblivious to the sudden sexiness that was standing before him. "What? Did she do it yet?"

Amy was pissed. "She plans on flirting with members of the tenure committee to further Leonard's cause."

Sheldon looked back and forth at the two women. "Well, that's a fine how-do-you-do. Don't just stand there. Take your breasts out."

Howard and Bernadette appeared. "Ooh, meerkat fight!" Howard said drooling.

Raj snapped his head around. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Just paying my respects," Howard grinned.

"Then why is Bernadette half naked?" Raj asked nodding at Bernadette, trying not to stare at her boobs.

Bernadette was dressed completely out of character for her. While normally she dressed very conservatively, tonight was the exact opposite. Tonight she was dressed in a tight red silk dress with spaghetti straps and a plunging neckline as well as a deep v neck that cut deep into her cleavage. It had very little back, showing plenty of skin. The hem on the right side ran all the way down to her red pumps, while the rest of the hem cut up sideways to the left where it stopped just below her left hip, leaving her left leg almost completely exposed. The cold chill in the air had her gumdrop size nipples practically ripping through the thin material.

Amy tried to argue. "You're all wasting your time. Sheldon is the most qualified for the job, and no amount of gravity-defying bosom's going to change that." She nodded at Bernadette and Penny. "Seriously, is that tape? Like, how are they staying up like that?"

Leonard leaned over and whispered into Penny's ear. "Way to hit 'em with both barrels."

Howard leaned into Bernadette. "You are so getting fucked tonight!"

Just then, Kripke walked by with one of the committee members.

The committee member said, "I could not ask you to do that."

Barry waved her off. "Nonsense. Childwen wove me. Something about me just makes them waugh and waugh."

Leonard shook his head. "No. We cannot lose to that jerk."

The group walked into the large, crowded room filled with people paying their respects to the late Professor Tupperman. There were quite assuredly a few more candidates for the tenured position in attendance, as well. The group split up and mingled through the room.

Leonard was the first to spot two members of the tenure committee. He steered himself and Penny to over to them.

He stood next to them but they didn't acknowledge his presence. He finally cleared his throat.

"Ahh yes, Dr. Hofstadter, good to see you," Professor Eagle said as he shook his hand. Professor Eagle was a distinguished looking man. Tall and handsome, in mid 50s, with a full head of hair that was beginning to show signs of gray.

"Professor Eagle, Professor Stand, I'd like you to meet my wife, Penny."

Both professors looked stunned at the fact that Leonard had been able to land such a beauty. Both professors shook her hand while trying not to watch her tits jiggle while doing so.

The four exchanged pleasantries for a few moments before Leonard leaned into Penny. "You okay?"

She smiled. "I got this."

"Professor Eagle, Professor Stand, would you mind keeping Penny company while I use the restroom?"

The two professors looked at each other. "It would be our pleasure," Professor Stand said. He was a little older and taller than Professor Eagle. He had a little pudge around the waist but, for a man his age, obviously made the attempt to stay in shape.

Leonard had barely taken two steps when Penny went into action. "So, gentlemen, Leonard tells me you're on some kind of committee."

"Yes, that's correct," Eagle said, still trying hard not to stare at the tits that were spilling out of her dress. "The tenure committee. We've gotten Dr. Hofstadter's application for tenure. At first glance, he's definitely qualified."

"Oh, yeah, I know. He's more than qualified," Penny said. She cocked her head sexily and began to run a finger along the neckline of her dress. "I wonder if there's someplace we can talk about, uh, some qualifications that you don't know about. Some qualifications you've been glancing at all night that maybe you'd like to know more about."

"I-I-I don't know if...that would be...appropriate," Stand stammered.

"Oh, c'mon, loosen up. Just three adults having a consensual, private...discussion, right? What's wrong with that?"

The two professors nodded at each other. "Yes, well (ahem), since you put it that way, yes, I suppose there's nothing wrong with that," Professor Eagle said.

*****

Howard spotted two more members of the tenure committee talking with Raj.

"That's so sad about Professor Tupperman," Howard said as he forced himself into the conversation with Bernadette at his side.

"Yes it is, Doctor, uhhhhh," Professor Janski said to Howard.

"Oh, he's no doctor. He's an engineer," Raj said, making sure to emphasize "engineer".

"Master of Engineering, yes, that's correct," Howard said, shaking Professor Janski's hand.

"Oh, yes, I've seen you on campus," Janski said, pulling his hand away. "So, you knew Professor Tupperman?" he asked curiously.

"Ohhhhhhh, yeah, we were like this," Howard said, wrapping two fingers around each other.

Raj rolled his eyes. "Puuuhhhhh-lease!"

"Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet my lovely bride, Bernadette. She's a microbiologist with a corner office at Zangen," Howard said, trying to divert attention from Raj's snide comment.

Bernadette stuck out her hand, as well as her 36 inch bustline. "Au chante."

Professors Janski and Winslow, as well as Raj, Howard, and Bernadette chatted for several moments. The two professors couldn't take their eyes off of Bernadette. With Bernadette being only 5 feet tall, the professors couldn't help but look straight down her dress when looking at her. Try as he might, Raj couldn't pull their attention away.

"So, gentlemen, did you get a chance to look over my Howie's application for tenure?" Bernadette asked.

"Well, yes, and, quite frankly, I'm not sure why he wasted his time," Professor Winslow said. "I mean, he's an engineer."

"A Master of Engineering," Howard said puffing out his chest.

"An engineer none the less," Raj said.

"A Master of Engineering...that's been on a NASA mission," Bernadette said, growling at Raj. She turned back to the professors. "How many people at CalTech can say they've been on a NASA mission?"

"Well, that is true," Janksi concurred.

Raj leaned into Howard. "Oh sure, play the NASA card."

"Bite me, bitch," Howard responded.

"Would you gentlemen like to hear more about Howie's trip into space?" Bernadette asked, moving in closer to the two professors.

"Oh, well, maybe another time," Winslow said quite dismissively.

Both men jumped. Bernadette discreetly cupped their balls. "Or maybe we can talk about your rockets?" she said quietly with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh! Yes! (ahem) That's a splendid idea!" Janski said.

The two professors led Bernadette arm-in-arm away from the crowded room with Howard and Raj not too far behind.

"Playing the big titty card? Really? Have you no shame?" Raj asked of his friend.

"She's got 'em, might as well use 'em to my advantage, so too fucking bad," Howard replied as they followed behind. "Where the fuck do you think you're going?" he asked Raj.

"Dude, if you think I'm going to let you get away with this, you've got another thing coming."

*****

In a tiny, darkened room down the hall from where the memorial was being held, behind closed doors, were Professors Janski, Stand, and Penny.

"Now stand back, boys. Let me show you those qualifications," Penny cooed. Penny reached behind her. The sound of a zipper filled the room. Her tiny black dress fell to the floor. The two professors stepped forward. Penny wagged her finger at them. "Ah ah ah." She began to massage her tits, pinch her nipples, and rub her bald pussy. "Now it's your turn."

In a flash, two pairs of slacks hit the floor, quickly followed by tighty whitey underwear. Two impressive looking cocks pointed at Penny.

At their age? That's impressive! I hope Leonard holds up that well!

Penny thought.

"Holy crap on a cracker, very nice, boys," she said as she stepped closer. "Now, let me give you an oral argument for why you should pick Leonard."

She dropped to her knees in front of them and grabbed their stiff shafts. The two men gasped. She gently stroked them as she admired each one. She moved in and flicked the tip of Professor Eagle with her tongue, then did the same with Professor Stand. She leaned back and studied the situation.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

went through her head. Before he knew it, Eagle's pole was buried in Penny's throat. He gave a loud moan, much louder than he intended. He slid in and out of her throat while she stroked Professor Stand. The room quickly filled with low moans and slurping sounds.

*****

Bernadette and Professors Janski and Winslow had barely entered their darkened room before the two professors pounced on Bernadette. Before you could say particle accelerator her dress had been stripped off her tiny body and tossed to the side.

"Oh my! Professors!" she squealed as two fingers slid past her already puffy cunt lips.

Winslow removed a tit from his mouth. "If you want us to even consider giving tenure to an engineer, you're gonna have to work for it."

"Master of Engineering," Bernadette sighed as she brought his face back to her breast.

Raj started to open the door that Bernadette disappeared behind. Howard grabbed his arm. "Hang on there, buddy. Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going to stop this right now!" Raj said with clenched fists.

"The hell you say. Let's see where this goes," Howard said, crouching down and peering through the crack in the door.

"Dude! You're going to watch your wife get banged by these two?!"

Howard shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, why not?"

"She's your

wife!

"

"She loves it when I watch, and I love watching," Howard said without looking up.

"You bastard! You're just now telling me this?!" Howard shrugged his shoulders again. "Dude, scoot over! Let me see!"

They watched as Janski and Winslow pushed Bernadette to her knees. Winslow quickly grabbed her by her long blonde hair and pulled her towards his bouncing pole. Even in the dim light she could see the veins wrapped around the beast pulse with energy. She opened her mouth without protest and hungrily took him in.

She gagged briefly as Winslow's swollen member slid down her throat.

My God! He's so much bigger than my Howie!

she thought. Her pussy dripped at the thought of having it buried in her slit and not her throat.

"You're gonna know the true meaning of getting fucked tonight...bitch," Winslow said as he placed his hands behind her head and throat fucked her while she stroked Janski's tool.

"Mmmmhmmm! Mmmmhmmm!" was Bernadette's muffled reply.

"Sounds like they're going to work Bernadette over pretty good, dude," Raj said concerned.

Howard giggled. "Yeah! I know!"

*****

Penny was on all fours, with Professor Eagle beneath her fucking her quivering cunt while Professor Stand impaled her face. Leonard was just down the hall listening intently. All he could hear were moans and the occasional plea to the heavens. He smiled.

Tenure's as good as mine. Blow me, Sheldon.

"Her throat...it's so...tight! It's...it's...incredible!" Stand announced. "I...I...I don't know...how much longer..."

"Me, too! So's her pussy!" Eagle panted. "It's like it's gripping me!"

"I...I...gaaaaaaaa!" Stand's rod throbbed in Penny's mouth. Each throb pumped another spurt of thick liquid down the back of her throat. She gulped and gulped trying to keep up.

Jesus Christ! So much cum! This dude needs to jack off more often!

Penny thought as she swallowed.

Stand finally pulled out of her mouth. She sucked it all the way out, releasing it with a pop.

"I don't think I can last much longer," Professor Eagle wheezed.

"Wait! Wait!" Penny said as she lifted off of him. "Fuck me in the ass! Stick it in my ass!"

Eagle grabbed his slick pole. But, instead of holding it steady for entry, he gave it a couple of hard tugs. As Penny lowered herself down, she felt a warm rope shoot across her ass and up her back.

Shit!

she thought. She quickly raced down and took him into her mouth, taking the rest of his spunk down her throat.

Once the flow of cum stopped, she removed him from her mouth and sat back on her haunches. Eagle looked up in time to see her swipe droplets of cum from the corner of her grinning lips and slide it back into her mouth.

"S-s-s-sorry," Eagle said, embarrassed he didn't comply with her request.

"It's okay, sweetie," she said softly. "As long as you enjoyed it."

"Oh yes! Very much so!" he said as he brought himself to his feet.

Stand was completely dressed, waiting for his colleague to finish. "Amazing. You were absolutely amazing."

"Dr. Hofstadter is a lucky man," Eagle said as he got dressed.

"Yeah, I get that a lot," Penny said proudly.

"I'll take a closer look at Dr. Hofstadter's application first thing in the morning," Stand said.

"You do that," Penny said. "If he gets tenure, maybe we can have another 'conversation,'" she said seductively.

Shortly after the two professors left the room, Leonard slipped in. Penny was still on her haunches.

"So? How'd it go?"

She swiped some rogue cum from her tits and slipped it between her lips. "It's in the bag," she said grinning.

Leonard pumped his fist. "Yes!"

"But those rat bastards finished before I did! And I was close, too."

Leonard dropped his pants and pulled out his thick, 8" rod. "Let's see if we can do something about that."