None of the events in this story happened. It's all fiction folks.
"And when I woke up, he was gone. Never saw the guy again," Laura said. We were sitting in her bathtub, winding down after another grand night . "And that's how I lost my virginity."
"Wait a tic," I said, "You're telling me that you just boned some random guy in Jersey?"
"What, were you expecting some thing more grand and romantic from the chick who had your cum on her face within thirty minutes of meeting you? It's not like I'm a slut. I'm choosy about who I fuck. I was choosy with him."
"Okay then. What else can we talk about till we're ready for another round?"
"Well Jake, you could always tell me about your first time. I tried digging it out of Mila and Dyl, but neither know. What's the deal?"
"They don't know because I didn't tell them. I've never actually told anyone about it."
"Why? Embarrassed?"
"Hell no Laura. But the story is a bit hard to swallow."
"Spill it to me," she said with a smirk. "You know I'm good when it comes to swallowing."
"Okay then. But remember, you asked for it, and you have to PROMISE not to tell a soul."
******** THEN
"Wake up Jake, time for work," my father said to me.
"Errr......no wakey.....Jake go sleepy," I mumbled back.
"Come on now Jake," he said. "Get out of bed. You're the one who wanted to work for the family company for the summer, and we've got a big day."
"All right," I said.
"Good boy," My dad said, exiting my room. I slowly rose from my bed and gathered my clothes for the day. I picked up my DX t-shirt, boxers, jeans, and my black Chucks, and headed for the bathroom for a morning shower. In about 15 minutes I was out of the shower and dressed, but still very groggy.
"Hungry....breakfast," I managed to mumble.
"We'll get something from the McDonald's drive through. Now let's go Boy Wonder," said my Dad.
"Please, don't call me that."
"Oh yeah, I forgot, only your girlfriend can say it. I'm sorry," he said with a grin.
"Oh, that's a good one. I'll never understand why you didn't make it as a stand-up.....and she's not my girlfriend. My best friend that happens to be a girl, but not girlfriend."
He opened the door and I walked through it. "Whatever you say son," he said as he closed the door behind us. I hopped in the passenger seat of our van , and he in the driver's seat. He started the car and we were off. My Dad was in construction, and we sometimes did renovations for the city. Today we were beginning a job doing some renovations to a school. The place was called Torrance High School. It was the month of August, so no students would be there, but it wasn't empty. See, Torrance High School was where the high school sequences of my favorite show, "Buffy The Vampire Slayer", were filmed. So, I was a little perked about that. But not much, since I had only gotten about five hours of sleep. We eventually arrived to do some work on the interior of the school. Adding new lockers, building a new room, general stuff. Now, my dad's company also handled painting, which was where I was assigned occasionally, since my dad knew from experience I was a total dipshit when it came to actual construction. But painting for some reason I was okay at.
"Hey there loser," a familiar voice said as I walked to one of the building to help set up station.
"Hey Dyl," I replied. "What are you doing here, and how did you arrive?"
"Got a ride from your Mom. Remember? Your Dad offered to pay me to help you get this job done."
"Hnh, never told me. Well, how about you help me set up, so we can get this done with?"
"Yeah yeah, sure," he replied, picking up some paint cans and supplies. "Now, where are the babes?"
"The Hell? What are you talking about?"
"You know, the BABES. Sarah Michelle Gellar, Alyson Hannigan, Charisma Carpenter?"
"Oh. I always figured you for Nicholas Brendon man."
"Ha. Shut the fuck up. Now where are they?"
"Jesus Christ Dyl," I said, "is that the only reason you decided to do this?"
"No, I just LOOOOOVE to paint buildings. Fuck yeah that's why. You've met them before, right?"
"No dude. Never have. Probably won't dude. I don't even think shooting is starting today."
"WHAT THE FUCK?" he yelled. "You've gotta be shitting me!"
"'Fraid not, but my rude awakening this morning is more than worth it to see that look on your face. If only I had a camera."
"Oh fuck you," he said setting up the ladder near a building wall. "I'll tell you one thing though, no women, I ain't climbing that piece of shit."
"Yes you are, or I tell my dad, and no money for you. And honestly, you know all you'd do is ogle the chicks then go home and jerk it in the shower. We're only 16 dude."
"Damn it."
"Yeah yeah. Now pop open that can, pour some paint in the bin, and hand me that roller, so we can get this horseshit over with."
**********NOW
"Wait," Laura said sitting up and turning around as best she could in the tub, "what does some fucking school paint job with Dyl have to do with anything? Unless you two get in some zany 'Three Stooges'-like fight, tell me something else."
"If you would wait, I could get to the point. It's about the first time I ever had sex, and you'll have to hear about it tomorrow," I replied. It was 1:00 A.M., and Laura had an early day tomorrow.
"Fuck," she said. "Well, I'll come by your place tomorrow around three, and you'd better fucking finish the story."
"I will, but if Mila's still around, it'll have to wait until she's gone. She's coming by to help me to do some organization."
"Whatever, I just want to hear the fucking story," said Laura, exiting the tub.
********
"I can't quite reach," Mila said. "And remind me again why I'm the one reaching in the back of the top shelf of your closet?" She said while standing on her tip toes on a step-ladder.
"You volunteered short stuff," I replied. "And I know better than to attempt to talk you out of something you're determined to do."
"Can I un-volunteer?"