My name is Abner Johnson. I am Benjamin Franklin's oldest, longest friend. You have never heard of me. You can read all the biographies that will be written after we are gone, but you won't find me in any of them. I was with him as a young man in the Leather Apron Club, in the bawdy clubs of London, during his "famous" days, right up to the end in France. I just never had anything to do with what he is famous for. I specialized more in the bohemian side of life. Wine, women, and theatre. Where he went, I would find him interesting women, and he would seduce them. I am sure history will be kind to his reputation, and these women will have a much more entertaining story to tell. Now that the great man is gone, and I shall soon follow, I wish to at least give the man his due. He seduced and loved hundreds of women, fathered at least 15, not counting the abortions (yes, there are abortions in our day, the women knew, men never talked about them. And men wrote the histories). They didn't want history to know how many women they impregnated in their lifetimes. It was the women's problem, and they had doctor's that would be happy to help, with a little monetary assistance from the man. These will be just some of my favorite stories from the years of parties, both high and low that BF was the star of. Remember, this never happened.
The Junta (The Leather Apron Club)
BF and twelve of his friends (not including me) formed a club in Philadelphia in 1726, when BF was just 20. He was the youngest, but the brightest and most driven of the bunch. They wanted to gather and argue the topics of the day, whatever. I never participated in any of these discussions, because, I wasn't an official member, and I couldn't have cared less. I already told you what I liked, and it wasn't that. While they were sitting around arguing about philosophy or religion, I was out gathering up a few of the "ladies" for later. In these early days, there were no society ladies that would come to our parties. That would come later. Now, they were young, bored girls that worked in the shops for their parents or family. They made no money, had no education, and had no prospects except being married off to the first boy the family thought had the money or connections to benefit them. It was a hard, depressing life that they would gladly slip away from for a few hours to enjoy the "sins of the flesh" with handsome young men that were nice to them. More of them than the puritans of the day cared to acknowledge were satisfied by the young lions of the colonies.
This party was epic. It was on all hallows eve and everyone had dressed in costumes, more or less. By the time they had finished with whatever they were arguing about we were ready. I had six girls, 19 to 24, dressed in masks and "clothes" that would get them arrested if they went outside the building. BF was careful who he allowed to know about what we did after they left. Only a couple of them stayed behind. BF had a bad habit of insulting his friends to the point that their friendship sometimes unraveled. He had to give favors to more than one past friend to keep what we did quiet. That was just BF, he figured he would fix it later. When he and the two lucky ones came in with him, the girls were well ahead of them in the wine service. Even though they wanted to be here, and they knew what was going to happen to them, I still liked to get them "loosened" up a little. This puritan upbring needed a little help to crack. I made BF and his friends put masks on before they came into the room.
BF would inevitably tell them who he was, even with all my precautions. Even later in life, when he was famous, he never cared what other people thought about what he did, even his wife.
"Friends, I am happy to introduce you to six of the prettiest girls in all of Philadelphia. They are here to enjoy the fruits of your labors. Please pick one of your liking; and we will begin with dinner and wine."
BF picked a big buxom blonde that was only 5' tall. She was as top-heavy as she was slim around the waist. She laughed when BF pulled her down in his lap. For the entire dinner she sat right there, feeding BF his entire meal. They both ate of the same plate and drank wine out of the same cup. I picked a slender red head that was 5'6". She was tall for these times, but I knew her from before, she is wild. Her parents had almost given up on finding her a husband because she wouldn't do what she was told, and no man wanted to bother with her. That is why she was 24. Every woman is married off long before that, but not her.
BF had enough of food. "Come on you little beauty. How about you give me a little dessert? I can make it worth your while." She slipped under the table. BF undid his trousers, and she pulled out an impressive display of manhood. He wasn't the biggest, or longest, but he certainly knew what to do with it. She began licking him around and around. After a few minutes, he had enough of that and grabbed her by the hair and shoved it down her throat. She chocked but had to keep it down because he wasn't letting her up. After a couple of minutes, he let go and she pulled back."
"Hey, mister, watch it with that thing. You may not believe this, but that is the first one I have had in my mouth." She looked very uncomfortable, and madder than anything.
"Alright, young lady, what is your name?"
"Mary."
"Ok, Mary, I assume you have been with a man before, right?" She nodded. "Then, I will give you a night to remember. How old are you?"
"I am twenty. I am promised to an apprentice of the candle shop. He is nice enough, but boring. He is awful at sex. He knows even less than I do. I need an experience to keep me warm during these learning times."
"Oh, my dear. When tonight is finished, you will have so much to teach him that you will have trouble explaining it to him."
BF pulled her off the floor and stood him before him. He reached up, a gently removed her "costume" such as it was to reveal a decent body. She was trying to hide it, but he tenderly removed her hands.
