"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join William Statler and Karla Statler in renewing their vows of holy matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be rejoined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."
The purpose of an objection at a wedding is to assess the legal eligibility of a union (or the reaffirmation of said union), not the emotional eligibility. So unless someone objects with a reason that holds substantial legal merit, little more will happen than a fleeting pause in the ceremony and a significantly awkward moment.
In this case, the legal merit was presented when the beautiful blonde approached Karla, handed her an envelope, and said, "Karla Statler, you have been served. You are being sued for divorce on the grounds of adultery."
The blonde used a small camera to take a picture of the envelope in Karla's hand. She then smiled at me, took my hand, and escorted me back up the aisle and out to our cars.
~~~
Four months previous...
There were six candidates from the Grady College of Journalism and Mass Communications at the University of Georgia interested in the summer intern position at WAGA-TV, but only one actual selection. A former colleague had seen her performance during her internship with Georgia Public Television and brought her to my attention.
Deborah Norville had come to my attention previously during one of my guest lectures at the UG campus in Athens. She had asked probing and insightful questions during my lecture and demonstrated a natural skill at keeping her eyes focused and intent on the person being asked. She had made it seem as if the answer to the question posed was the most interesting thing she was ever going to hear.
Deborah was the last of the six candidates to arrive at the Memorial Day barbeque at my house in the Buckhead area of Atlanta. I had invited them all so that the news director and several other people whose opinions I valued at WAGA could meet all six candidates in an informal setting. Besides the six students and a few coworkers, the rest of the attendees were all acquaintances of my wife Karla. Some of these were her coworkers from Georgia-Pacific, while others were neighbors of ours that I hardly knew.
As is probably normal in such settings, people tended to congregate with other people that they knew, which had the six students hanging around one side of the pool, while neighbors who knew each other chatted under the filtered shade offered by the pergola over the patio. Karla flitted between the group of neighbors and her coworkers on the other side of the pool, ignoring the students and my coworkers entirely. She had nothing in common with either group, so her philosophy was "Why try to pretend to be interested?".
It was still too early to get the grilling started, so I encouraged the people from WAGA to go introduce themselves to the intern candidates and explain what each of them did at the station. I saw that most were reluctant to wander too far away from me, each afraid that somebody else might get a chance to brown-nose the boss more than they wanted to, so I decided to lead them over to the students and introduce everyone myself.
Most of the students began asking technical questions about the station, but Deborah seemed unusually distracted by someone on the other side of the pool. As I stood off to the side, watching the interaction of my staff and the students, I sensed Deborah moving beside me.
"Excuse me, Mr. Statler, do you know who that woman is?"
"Which woman?" I asked.
"The tall brunette wearing the flowered blouse and white Capri pants," she said.
I glanced over at where Karla was standing and said, "Yes, I know who she is. Why?"
"Because I would like to give my aunt the name of the woman who is sleeping with her husband. She has pictures and a video of the two of them in a motel room, but the private investigator couldn't provide the woman's name."
"You're telling me that you recognize that woman over there as the woman in pictures that your aunt has of her husband being with, I assume in a sexual interlude of some sort?"
Deborah nodded and said, "I'm almost positive. She wears her hair the same way, parted in that crooked way just above her left eye. If I could get a glimpse at her right hip I would know for sure. In the pictures, she has an oval birthmark on her hip, but her blouse is just long enough today to cover that area."
"So you've never met this woman?" I asked.
"No, but I'm sure that is her."
"Well then, come on. I'll introduce you."
I led Deborah around the pool and approached the woman in question. She turned and smiled at our approach, moving the drink in her right hand to her left.
I made the introductions, "Deborah Norville, I would like to introduce my wife, Karla. Karla, this is Deborah Norville, one of the candidates for the summer intern position at WAGA-TV."
"I'm very pleased to meet you, Deborah. What are your ambitions; to be on the air or behind the scenes? Obviously, with your looks, you belong in front of the camera, but some people prefer not to be."
Deborah looked extremely embarrassed, and I sensed that it was due to her discovering that the scarlet letter she had just painted adorned the wife of the man who would determine her fate with WAGA-TV.
I took pity on her and answered on her behalf, "Interns get exposed to all aspects of the station, but we hope to eventually get Deborah on the air. After all, she was Georgia's representative in the 1976 America's Junior Miss pageant. We need to go meet some others from the station. Let me know when you want me to start the grill."
I quickly led Deborah away from where Karla was resuming her conversation. Deborah walked silently beside me as I headed toward the grill where we would have some privacy for a few minutes at least.
"Deborah, I know that I have no right to ask this, but could you put me in contact with your aunt?"
She looked up at me, still embarrassed, and asked, "You didn't know, did you?"
"I never had a clue," I admitted. "And, for the record, Karla does have that oval birthmark on her right hip."
"Wow!" she said. "I never expected this. I'm so embarrassed, but I'm also glad to know who the woman is. My aunt has been my rock during my mom's illness, and I feel obligated to stand beside her now. Do you know what you're going to do, because I know that my aunt intends to name the woman in an alienation of affection lawsuit in addition to suing my uncle for divorce on the grounds of adultery?"
"That's one of the reasons that I would like to get in contact with your aunt," I told her. "If we can coordinate our actions and get the timing of things right, I believe we could both benefit. I will definitely be investigating a divorce from Karla, and the evidence that your aunt has will be useful in that regard, but if your aunt is also seeking some form of revenge..."