Angelina And Her Husband

Good evening, ladies, and gentlemen welcome to E Television Exclusive, this is your host Percy Percival. We are honored tonight to have the very lovely Angelina Jolie and her husband Brad Pitt. We have tried for months to have Ms. Jolie on our show only to be denied but now she has called us and asked to be on. I truly expect tonight's show to be a bombshell so don't go away, we'll be right back after these brief commercial messages.

Welcome back, let us get right to our live interview, Now Angelina, if I may call you that, what, no? Oh sure, now Ms. Jolie I am going to assume you are here to deny the terrible rumors about you and your co-star Russell Crowe.

"No why would I want to deny that, it's true, I banged Russ from the first day of rehearsals right on through to the wrap party. I think I've managed to turn that ruffian into a lover who could please me."

Uh, well OK then maybe I should ask just why you came on our show.

"I want to set the record straight about that dried up old crone Jennifer Aniston and Bradley here. Tell the people Bradley,"

"I have had nothing to do with her."

Yeah I hear you Mr. Pitt but...

"His name is not Mr. Pitt if it is Mr. anything its Mr. Jolie."

OK, maybe I can call you Brad, is that OK? Good, well Brad as I was going to say, talk is cheap and our audience will need something besides your word for proof.

"You want proof, we'll give you proof, go ahead Bradley show the man."

"But dear, we're on TV I can't show him on TV."

"Sure you can just turn you back to the camera; you always say that's your best side anyway."

"Yes dear"

Brad, what are you doing, this is live, oh my god ladies and gentlemen, Brad Pitt is dropping his trousers on live TV. Brad whatever is that contraption attached to your genitals.

"That's my (censored) cage and do you see that little padlock here, well the only key for that is around Ms. Angelina's neck."

Let's break for a few words from our sponsors, don't go away we'll be right back.

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen, we are talking to Brad and Angelina Jolie and if you remember, Brad was showing us, well me actually, that he wears a chastity device. Tell me Brad doesn't this seem rather medieval to you?

"No, I don't think of it that way I think it is a sign of the times, almost Avant-garde, don't you agree Bradley."

"Yes Mam."

I see, so how long has Brad been kept this way and when do you release him for sex?

"I caged him up while he was still married to that prune, she never even knew. As for sex, nothing I want from him involves the use of what I keep locked up securely. I have a whole stable of men for that; I keep Bradley around for my oral pleasure and of course, a baby sitter."

I must say Ms. Jolie you do seem to have control of your man.

"Yes, he is pussy whipped, aren't you Bradley?"

"Yes Mam."

So tell us Brad, what do you get from this relationship?

"I have the honor of serving my queen and goddess. Just the joy of seeing a smile on her face from some way I have pleased her gives me more pleasure than anything I've ever had."

"Aw Bradley, you're such a good boy, here you may kiss my feet."

Oh my, that certainly looks sensual, oh and I see that smile you mentioned Brad. I have to say I am envious of your life style.

Ms. Jolie is there anything you'd like to say to our audience at this time.

"Why yes, but first I'll let Bradley pull up his trousers. Now to all the women out there, get your man into a cage. Once you have his nasty urges under your control you'll be surprised how fast he becomes compliant to your wishes. I say the world would be a better place if all the men were caged in chastity and their women holding the key."

That is an interesting concept I must say. I see we don't have much time but if I may, I'd like to hear about your relationship with your dad. Have you two patched things up?

"It's funny that you brought that up as it is relevant to what I've been talking about. The reason I cut ties with him was that he had my brother's cage surgically removed against my wishes. Just because I wasn't around to unlock him was no reason to free him."

I assume you have now forgiven him...

"Forgiven, no but after I made him put a cage on I have allowed him back into my life. Of course, I have re-caged brother dear as well."

I see we are out of time, I want to thank Ms. Jolie, and her husband Brad for a fascinating interview. I'm sure, to much of our audience this is the first time they have heard of a relationship such as theirs. I'm sorry we didn't have time to take any questions from our viewers, maybe you two can come back...

"No, come Bradley you may take me home but first I want to stop by and see that cute Robert Pattinson boy from Twilight. I want to see if he's a good candidate for a chastity cage."

That's all for us tonight, once again I'd like to thank Ms. Angelina Jolie and her husband Brad for being with us. Be sure and tune in tomorrow here at E Television where we will have the cast of 'Jersey Shore' believe me folks this will be a fascinating interview. Remember you'll hear it here first at E Television.