And the Award Goes To...
As the limousine approached the Dolby theatre, Anna Kendrick popped her head out the window and looked upon the protesters. She couldn't make out what the signs said but she was pretty sure she knew the gist of them- "Award, not Exploitation", "the Oscars Objectify Us", "Actresses- Not Porn Stars" and the like.
Indeed, when Elizabeth Banks stepped out of the limo ahead of hers Anna saw the actress pelted with eggs and rotten fruit, and heard someone shouting, "How's it feels to have set women back a hundred years you traitorous cunt?"
Fortunately, when it came time for Anna to step out and walk down the red carpet the protestors seemed to have run out of physical things to throw and she only had to contend with their words- even if some did make the blood rush to her face.
The previous year...
No one knew for sure (or at least no one who did was saying anything) what motivated the Academy to come up with Award for Best Nude Body when they did a couple years prior; the most popular conspiracy theory was the studios pressured it to so actresses they considered "too stuck up to take it off" would have a reason to do so.
At first a sizeable number of celebrities, spearheaded by the likes of Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock and including Anna herself even, protested the creation of the category.
But then Camren Bicondova showed up at the ceremony to accept her statuette, and gradually many of those protestors started to think the category was their best bet- if not their only one- of ever having the gold-plated gent on their nightstand short of buying him from a local pawn shop.
Anna at first held out for a while, at least longer than others, but repeatedly being passed over for actresses who reconsidered their stances on "putting out"- as many accused them of- gradually wore her down, until a fateful day when she agreed to meet Archie Harper, an up and coming film school golden boy, at Musso's and Frank's to discuss a lead part in his independent project Tell Diane.
In Archie's defense the film he described had an interesting plot, and the character he laid out for her sounded intelligent and complex; nevertheless, it was only a matter of time until the elephant in the room- namely several love scenes- was addressed.
"I don't know..." Anna started, "They warned us if that even if you show 'em your tits just once that's all you'll ever be good for..."
"Only if you allow it to be," Archie countered, "I mean, look at Julianne Moore, Kate Winslet or Rachel Weisz- none of them let doing nude scenes get in the way of respectability."
"Yeah, I guess," Anna said, still not entirely convinced.
"I mean if anything," Archie pressed on, "Those actresses who think they'll only be wanted to take their tops off don't seem to have much faith in their own talent."
