Amy blinked slowly, unable to concentrate, the computer screen before her a blurred square of pixels. The sound of fingers clicking keys, heels tapping against the polished floor, the chatter of her fellow police officers and detectives around the bullpen all came crashing down upon her. She sighed and rubbed her temples, her eyes momentarily closed to try and block out the world and give her a brief reprieve only for her mind to fail at being a safe harbour.
She winced at the image that her mind conjured up, Luke standing before her, his phone in hand as Amy repeated the words he had ordered her to say, declaring the new truth of her reality she had let him push her into. Even after opening her eyes she could still remember her actions earlier that day, what she had done, what she had said. She glanced down at her chest, her blue shirt fully buttoned up and hidden beneath her navy jacket yet she couldn't stop herself from looking around the room, worried at the thought that somehow someone could see through her clothes to the words still on her skin.
Why didn't I remove it? The thought came to her as she pushed away from the desk and abruptly stood up.
She blinked slowly and then walked to the bathrooms, desperate to purge herself of her actions, her failure, her brief moment of weakness. She wet some tissue and locked herself in a cubicle and quickly unbuttoned her shirt and began to wipe at the black ink thick upon her skin. She frowned at the sight of it, confused as to why she had let him do it to her, treating her like he had.
"Come on...come on...come off...off..." She muttered as she rubbed her skin raw and then threw the wet tissue into the toilet.
She sighed as she felt her phone buzz in her jacket pocket, afraid it would be him again, she hadn't responded to the messages he had sent. Her choice to ignore him being the right one, she knew that, she knew it would be best for her own standing to pretend it never happened. All that mattered was the case, and finding Joaquin and the potential shipping locations. She let out a shaky breath and returned to her desk.
Eventually she found a rhythm, typing up her notes and researching into Joaquins files, finding an address linked to his name and as Luke said, the reason for his arrest, possession. But it wasn't enough, and so sending out a briefing, Amy made it clear to the officers supporting her that tomorrow they would be investigating the docks of the three harbours with plans to set up stake outs on all three locations. As Amy closed down her computer and collected her things, ready to clock out she left more hopeful that things would soon get back on track.
"Who are you?"
"I'm your woman..."
"Damn girl..."
"I'm your woman..."
"That ass belong to me baby?"
"I'm your woman..."
"You'll look back on this one day..."
"I'm your...your...your..."
Amy woke with a start, her body shaking as she sat upright in her bed, the covers all twisted, hanging over the side. The darkness of her bedroom no longer felt comfortable as she reached over and flicked on the bedside lamp. She blinked and whimpered as she looked around, feeling uneasy in her home as the nightmare still lingered in her mind, her subconscious replaying her shameful act of the day. She got up and made her way to the bathroom and splashed her face with cold water, hoping it would help calm her, cool her down, wash away her guilt. It didn't.
She checked the time when she returned to her bed, thankful that it was not long past midnight, she still had plenty of time to sleep, her phone lit up with unread notifications, including the same number flashing up on the screen as before. The name of the contact filled her heart with dread as her gut twisted. She looked around the room, half expecting someone to burst through and catch her in the act and shook her head, desperate to break free from the constant feeling of her childhood and opened the message.
*Hope you liked looking back on our first time together, you know where I am if you want more.*
Despite the message inciting anger in her, she was thankful that it was time stamped over two hours ago, and as such felt relief that he most likely would not see the ticks turn blue. She closed it down and fell back onto her side, desperate to control her emotions, willing them into submission as she dug her nails into her palms.
"Ignore it. Ignore it. Don't bite." She whispered to herself as she scrunched her eyes shut, determined to fall back asleep.
"You look terrible." Jake said rudely with a grin as Amy sat down opposite him the next morning.
"Thanks." Amy replied in a sour tone, glaring at the other detective.
"Welcome." He sang in a high pitched tone.
"I gotta say though Amy, normally you're so boring, I guess even boring goes bad eventually." Gina said from behind her in a raspy voice.
"No...I...I'm not bad...I'm not...I...I just didn't sleep well, that's all." She said nervously, sitting up a little straighter.
"Shame, maybe one of these days you'll find a personality one night I might like." Gina mocked.
Amy inhaled deeply but remained silent, knowing it was futile to reply, it would only end up in her defeat with others laughing at her. Jake was no longer bothered by her anyway, his focus on his computer, files spread out all over his desk. How he got away with being so messy Amy never knew. She got to work, organising her meeting, planning out the locations they would review. Soon the team were gathered and with a uniformed officer named Jenkin in the passenger seat of her squad car, she drove down to the nearest location.
"Is everything okay Detective?" The young man asked, his pale skin sweaty.
"Yep. Fantastic." Amy said in a forced cheerful tone as she pulled up at the entrance to the dock and saw the two other squad cars already parked up and the four other uniformed officers waiting.
They quickly spread out in their pairs and walked around the docks, and Amy quickly lost sight of the others as the double stacked shipping containers blocked her view and led her down through a maze-like system until she reached open space. The dockyard was busy, with ships coming in and out, workers in every direction she could see driving forklifts into open containers or transporting goods up the docks. Multiple warehouses stood on the edge of the harbour, all open, all busy, all a potential place with no clear way of finding out by observing during the day time.
"Well? Jenkins asked as Amy watched the others walk towards them.
"Ask a few questions, try and see what you can find out about any night schedules, teams and crews, give me the update by this afternoon and we can work on planning some stake outs once we see what the others find out at Newark and Jersey." She said before falling silent as a short buzz from her phone disrupted her thought process.
"Sure thing." Jenkins said, nodding at the others who all then turned and began interacting with various workers dotted around the open space.
Amy stood there for a moment, watching her task force work at obtaining information for her and then once she was satisfied she had waited long enough she pulled her phone out of her pocket and grimaced. His name was once again written across her screen and she pursed her lips at the sight before clicking on the notification to read it.
*What time should I expect you baby girl?*
Her nostrils flared as she snorted in annoyance, his arrogance that she would return so quickly, so willingly, only added to her internalised anger at herself as she locked the phone and made her way over to the closest officer, an older man, Frank Marino.
"I'm heading back into the city, I'm going to chase up another lead." She said politely.
