"Rats!" snapped my friend Ricky good-naturedly as the 15-ball caught the edge of the pocket and deflected out. "I should have had it."
I stepped to the table and lined up my shot on the 8-ball. "Tied 3-all, this one’s for the win," he said. "Don’t choke, James."
I’ve got you now!" I said, lining it up. The shot was perfect as soon as I hit it. "I win again. That’s 3 times in a row."
"Yeah, yeah," Ricky said. "But I beat you the previous 4 times, so don’t get too cocky."
I laughed and said, "You and I are a good match. We both have a shot to win."
"It’s nice to get together for a game," Ricky said. "At least pool is one thing men still do better than women."
"Don’t let Karen Corr or Allison Fisher hear you say that!" I said. "Women have caught up with us at this, too. They’re already running the world."
"Oh, come on!" Ricky responded. "You know as well as I do that there’s still a few things, like pool and poker, where men are still superior. Why, you or I could handle any woman in this place easily."
"Would you care to back that up with a game or two?" said an angry-sounding woman’s voice. I turned and saw a tall, matronly-looking woman, with light-brown (or as some people say, "dirty blond") hair, staring at us. She looked familiar, but I couldn’t place her.
"Sure thing," Ricky said. "Play James here – he just beat me, so he’s the reigning champ."
"Thanks for volunteering me," I growled at him. "You don’t have the guts to back up your words with action? I’m not the one who shot off his mouth."
"Just beat her and let’s go," Ricky said.
"Best of 5, OK?" said the woman. "That way we can tell who’s better for sure. 1 game could be won on luck."
"OK," I agreed. "8-ball’s the game."
"I’m out of here," Ricky said. "My wife is gonna read me the riot act when I get home, and the longer I stay, the worse it’ll be."
"Bye, Ricky," I said. "I’ll let you know how it goes. I’m lucky enough not to have a wife, and one advantage is that I can set my own hours."
"Yeah, yeah," Ricky said. "Catch you next week."
"Ladies first," I said to the woman, gesturing that she should break. "I’m James. It’s nice to meet you."
"I’m Ali," she said. "It’s nice to meet you, though I could do without the chauvinist pig you were with."
"Don’t worry about him," I said. "He’s henpecked by his wife and sometimes has to let off steam. That’s why he goes out with me every Saturday, to get away from it all."
Ali ran the first 2 racks without a miss. I finally got to the table after she had sunk 6 striped balls in rack #3. A safety seemed like the best play, so I put the cue ball behind a virtual wall of 4 of my balls, leaving her almost no play to even make contact with the 12-ball, her last remaining one. She walked around the table, looked at the shot closely, then sent the cue ball off 3 rails to sink the 12-ball and set her up perfectly on the 8. The light bulb went off in my brain as I put my jaw back in place. She sank the 8-ball and said, "Tell your friend that women are superior." But she said it with a smile.
"My goodness," I said. "I recognize you! You’re Allison Fisher! May I say that I am greatly honored to have had the chance to compete against you? You’re my favorite billiards player. Would it be possible to get your autograph?"
Allison Fisher smiled and said, "It’s nice to meet a real fan. You seem very personable. Would you like to come home with me and I can show you some tricks of the trade?"
I couldn’t believe it. It took me all of 2 nanoseconds to say, "I’d love to, Miss Fisher."
"Allison," she said. "Please call me Allison, all right, James?"
"All right, Allison," I replied.
We got into her car and she began driving. "It’s about 15 minutes from here," she said. "This is where I live when I’m not on the road. I like it because it’s not a huge city."
"It must be a tough life," I commented." "Do you ever get lonely?"
"All the time," she said. "I don’t have a husband or even a boyfriend to come back to, either, which makes it doubly tough. Even when I‘m not traveling I’m still lonely. Men can’t accept the fact I’m good at an activity they feel is reserved for males."
"I wouldn’t have a problem with it," I said. "Women are equal – actually superior, looking objectively – to men at just about everything, so why should billiards be any different?"
"You’re very nice," she said. "It’s rare to meet a man who’s humble and personable."
We arrived at her house and my jaw dropped again. It had to be close to 10,000 square feet. "Wow," I said.
"Most of my money is in this house," Allison commented. "I have just enough in the bank to live frugally on the interest. That’s one reason I still compete."
"Not to mention that you’re still the best," I said.
"That’s sweet of you to say that," she said," but it’s not true. I’ll still win the occasional tournament, but the young players are taking over."