All I Ever Wanted...

Summery: ... Was Smith Puget. Davey is having a hard time admitting his feelings for Smith. But, when Smith finds Davey trying to kill himself, things don't go as planned. Attempted self-harm.

Genre: Angst. Self-harm. Smavey. Hurt/Comfort.

Disclaimer: I do not own either Davey Havok or Smith Puget. They own themselves- I just wished I owned them.

All I Ever Wanted...

'I can't handle this any more!' He thought to himself. Tears stinging his eyes, he lowered the sharp kitchen knife down to his wrist. 'I can do this.'

"Davey?" A voice from behind asked. Davey Havok's head shot up at the sound of his voice. The voice of the man who started this. He was to blame for it all.

"Y-yes, Smith?" Davey stuttered, turning away as to keep the knife out of view. This action caught Smith's attention.

"What... What is that in your hand?" He walked closer to his friend, Davey looked down and glared.

"Nothing, go away. This is my room." He snapped. Smith grabbed Davey's shoulder and spun him around. His eyes widened when he saw what Davey was holding. Suddenly, the Puget orbs filled with rage.

"What the FUCK were you gonna do with that?!?!" Demanded Smith. Davey sat, unsure of what to say to his outraged friend. His friend. 'That's all he is, and that's all he will ever be', he told himself.

"Nothing you need to worry about. Go away." Not being a good enough answer for Smith; he stole the knife away from Davey's hand, and pointed it at him.

"Don't give me that shit! You were gonna try and kill yourself, weren't you? I swear to fucking God, Davey, if you were, you will not leaves my sight until you tell me why!"

'This isn't like Smith. The normal Smith was a care-free, let's-fuck-around-and-do-stupid-shit kind of guy. Not a act-like-my-mother-would-if-I-just-broke-her-two-hundred-dollar-vase... again guy.' It took Davey a moment to figure out whether or not to tell him he was in fact attempting to kill himself. But he couldn't possibly tell him the reason why. That would make things ten times worse then they already were.

"FINE! Yes. I was going to try and kill myself. Happy now?" Smith's eyes softened as he sat down next to Davey, on the bed.

"Why?"

'Nope. No way on Earth am I going to give-in and tell him. It's hard enough to explain myself to him when I'm NOT trying to kill myself. But now...' Davey trailed off in his mind. When he responded, his chocolate-coloured eyes became watery and filled with tears.

"Smith... I- Just hug me. Please?" He wrapped his arms around the younger Puget brother and cried into the crook of his neck. Taken aback for a moment, Smith hugged him back.

When he finally stopped sobbing, he asked Smith, "You really want to know why I was trying to... do that?"

"Yeah, dude, you're one of my best friends. I wanna know what's wrong."

"Best friend..."

"That's exactly it. I don't want to be just best friends. I want to be more. I- I'm inlove with you, Smith. I've been inlove with you for years now. And I want to be with you for the rest of my life. You— " But, Davey was cut off by Smith's mouth devouring his own. He wasted no time in shoving his tongue into the older man's mouth. The two of them made-out for a while before Smith reluctantly pulled away.

Catching his breathe, he whispered into Davey's ear: "Part your lips a bit more. I'll swallow your fear." The younger man said, quoting lyrics from Kiss and Control. This confused Davey for a second, but then his eyes lowered and felt extremely stupid. Sighing, Smith placed his index finger under Davey's chin and tilted his face up, so he was looking at him.

"I love you, too."

"Really? I mean, more then just a friend?"

Smith nodded. "I couldn't tell you. There was no way I was gonna be the one to fuck-up our friendship. Davey smiled a little and replied.

"Kiss me? Please?" Smith laughed and covered Davey's mouth with his own again. Slowly, Davey felt hands running up and down his chest. The hands started lifting up his shirt as they broke the kiss. After that, Davey did the same thing to Smith. Not being able to help himself, Smith let his eyes wander down Davey's body and they stopped at his rabbit belt buckle.

"I think we should get these off, don't you think?" He asked. Davey's hands flew down to his belt and quickly removed it. Smith smiled as he eyed his prize. Davey followed his gaze and shook his head. He pushed Smith backwards, so he was lying down on the bed. And climbed on top of him, straddling Smith's thighs, Both men's excitements showed bluntly through their clothing (Or, what was left of it.) Although he wasn't really a vampire, Davey couldn't stop himself from attacking the younger man's neck.

"Smith, are you sure you want to...?" he trailed off, still nibbling on Smith's neck. Smith laughed from the question, and also from the feeling he was getting from Davey's teeth on his neck.

"Am I sure I want to fuck? No, I always undress men and then tell them, 'I'm sorry, I don't wanna have sex.'" He said, sarcastically. Davey stopped what he was doing to Smith's neck and smiled at him.

"I love you. I'll always love you."

"Same here, Dave. I love you, too. And if you ever try and kill yourself again, I will make it my responsibility to thoroughly kick your ass. But, I will do it in a nice, caring, and loving way, of course." Smith assured.

Davey kissed him before saying, "I won't. I promise. I have all I could ever want now. There's no way I'm going to lose it now."