Agents of Shield (parody)

Starring:

Racquel Darrian as herself

Lily Cade as Madame Sin

Chloe Bennet as Daisy Johnson

Ming-Na Wei as Melinda May

Wendy as Madame's butch bodyguard

Scene 1: Daisy and Melinda are at the SHEILD command center looking at a set of images displayed on several large monitors. Following a brief, awkward discussion, it becomes apparent that a wealthy heiress has kidnapped a celebrity pornstar and has her hidden away at a luxury mansion.

Just out of view, a group of male co-workers can be observed seated in semi-circle watching the presentation.

Several giant pics then promptly arrive on-screen of the renowned, very butch, Madame Sin, who's real name is Lily Cade. Lily has short red hair, black nails, some tattoos upon her pale skin and is dressed casually in a pair of old jeans with the typical bull-dyke wallet chain, Doc Marten boots and white tank.

Following this, images then come up of the kidnapped pornstar, named Racquel Darrian. There are several audible gasps from the men as pics from various magazine covers pop up. Daisy and Melinda exchange an eye-roll.

On-screen, they see:

Racquel Darrian bio including measurements and a rundown of all her magazine pictorials, including Penthouse Pet of the Month, followed by dozens upon dozens of pornos made for Hustler Magazine, Vivid, Reality Porn, etc.

The group in the shadows giggle at some of the titles: Street Hooker Blues, Interracial Blow Bangers 4-8, Hand-jobs for Hobos 1-5, Shemale Surprise 7 and Racquel Darrian Fan Fuck 1-5 all seemed titles worthy of repeating out loud.

Daisy then whispers in Melinda's ear, "She's pretty as hell, but what a skank."

Melinda could only shrug and shake her head in agreement.

AN HOUR LATER

Daisy and Melinda are in the air aboard the SHIELD Globemaster III military transport aircraft, a modified C-17 Boeing on route to Costa Rica. Both girls are dressed in all black as they prep for jump. Daisy checks over Melinda's skydiving equipment and then turns to allow Melinda to look over hers.

A few minutes later they are leaping out into the blackness for part one of their rescue mission. Once the girls were on the ground they used their night goggles to check out security on the compound; which they had not been able to perform using satellite imaging. Melinda reported seeing one 'plus-size' female asleep on a hammock situated on the patio. It was now dawn, so they decided to wait.

Daisy and Melinda set up a small camp, including a tent. By 9:00am Daisy was getting ready to enter the compound from the front door, while Melinda was going to enter from the roof. Daisy had been inside the tent finishing up her cover story outfit. A minute later, Daisy unzipped the screen and stepped out wearing the tightest, short dress Melinda had ever seen. It was pink and Daisy had pink high-heels on with plenty of gold jewelry. She stood by the tent, hand on hips and asked Melinda causally, "So, whadya think. Enough to distract a bunch of bull-dykes for a few minutes?"

Melinda, still in her black military gear stared at Daisy and her mouth dropped. She could feel her pussy aching with desire. The look from Melinda was all Daisy needed. She grabbed a purse and began marching towards compound, giving Melinda a wink.

Melinda stood quietly watching Daisy strut confidently down the path - the pink skirt barely covering her ass at all. Regardless of how smoking hot the pornstar was, she was certain Lily had bull-banged her so many times that week that she must be ready for some new pussy to drool over. And it was coming her way.

Melinda then trained her binoculars on Daisy's ass, realizing for the first time that she really wanted to bury her face in that girl's rear end and never come up. Just then, Daisy twirled around suddenly, catching Melinda getting a free show. Feeling flattered, she smiled and wagged her finger back at Melinda, who now felt she was having a 'guy moment' as she turned her binoculars towards the compound.

She then knew she was going to have to fuck Daisy when this was all said and done. Melinda had never been with a woman before, but now wanted to try it more than anything else. Daisy she wasn't sure about. Most cute girls like that enjoyed messing around with other girls once drinking was involved, so maybe she'd invite her out for drinks later.

Melinda then regained her composure and located the burly security guard, who was outside one of the windows looking in, apparently trying not to be seen.

WENDY

The new bodyguard, Wendy, is outside near the hammock slacking off on her security detail; unaware she is under surveillance as she peers through a window at Racquel Darrian's ass. She had been hired a few weeks ago to protect Madame Lily's new home from any outsiders who might try to penetrate the giant walled perimeter. So far - nothing. Wendy had spent most of her shifts attempting to catch a glimpse of Lily's new fuck-toy, which was pretty hard to do when they were usually in the bedroom making each other cum. Her best opportunities were when Racquel was performing for her master in the living room. Lily apparently liked to watch Racquel's pornos as her new pornstar girlfriend ate her out. Wendy could see a big stack of DVD's stacked up on the media cabinet and knew they were all Racquel Darrian titles. She was a huge fan herself.

In the past week, with the routine figured out, Wendy would find a good angle to hide and then un-belt her pants. She would then finger-bang her pussy as various sex acts were played out in the front room.

Today, Lily was on the couch, naked, getting her pussy eaten by Racquel, who today has been dressed up as a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader; tight white shorts, white boots, blond highlighted brunette hair and her famous gold hoop earrings. Madame Lily, as she has Racquel refer to her as, has a dog leash around her Racquel's neck as she switches from watching her pornstar girlfriend licking her very hairy pussy to the TV screen of a smiling Racquel tongue lashing a black cock.

Lily is egging Racquel on, apparently talking dirty, pulling her pussy lips apart as Racquel closes her eyes and goes deeper, slurping and groaning as she tries to bring Madame to yet another orgasm.

Just then, the doorbell rings. Kind of a surprise

Annoyed, Lily pushes Racquel's head away as she rises to yank up her jeans to check on the door situation. She first leads Racquel on all fours by the dog leash to the adjacent room and wags her finger at Racquel as she ties the leash to a stripper pole.

"You wait here," she instructs her obedient lover.

Lily crosses the manor hastily, wondering why Wendy is not doing her job. The door rings again and Lily finishes looping her belt as she opens the door. What she sees totally blows her mind: a smoking hot brunette in a tiny pink skirt, sunglasses and heels.

Daisy introduces herself as a tourist, claiming her car has broken down. Lily quickly ushers her in and makes her a drink promising to get her some help with her car.

On top of the roof, Melinda has pulled open a circular window and is now repelling down into the living room on a wire. She can hear Daisy and Lily chatting in the other room and quickly makes her way down a hallway. She immediately runs into a beautiful girl in white boots leashed to a pole. Realizing then that her mission target has been located, she radios in that she's found the girl.

What follows is a brief conversation in which Melinda figures out there has been no kidnapping at all. Madame Lily apparently seduced the sexy pornstar and had spent the last week or so dyke-fucking her. The hotel staff had freaked that Racquel had vanished for days on end and the local greaseballs from the pool confirmed she had just disappeared out of thin air after teasing their cocks something wicked one afternoon.

Fearing the worst, Racquel's agent had put a call in to the State Department, which had hen been picked up by SHIELD. It was all just a misunderstanding.

Ming is relieved, so she unties Racquel and unclips the leash. They then walk out to living room. Immediately they see Lily is lying on her back on a weight bench with Daisy straddling Lily's face. Racquel stands there, shocked, hand on hips. She is miffed. She casually watches the back of Daisy riding Lily's face. After a minute of waiting to be noticed, Racquel walks out of the room and heads outside to cool off.

Ming stands there mesmerized, starring at Daisy's bangin' lil ass bouncing up and down on Lily's face. Lily has her hands on Daisy's ass as her tongue slips in and out of her tight pussy.

Daisy then turns her head around slowly as her eyes meet Ming's. Daisy smiles at her seductively as she flips her hair back. Ming uses some quick military sign language to indicate Racquel is outside.

Daisy then slides off Lily's face and begins kissing her. She then whispers in her ear that her friend has arrived. Lily looks over and sees Ming in her black military gear. She sits up and eyes the intruder. After explaining the mission and apparent misunderstanding, Lily rolls her eyes and counters by asking if Ming is just going to stand there and watch, or join in?

Daisy then begins kissing Lily again and is soon on top of her. Ming watches Daisy push up Lily's white tank top and begin sucking her flabby tits. Lily runs her fingers through Daisy's hair as she begins trash talking her for kicks. Daisy then pulls up her tiny skirt and again mounts Lily's face - this time facing Ming.

Ming. Mesmerized again, stares at Daisy. She then waves her over. They kiss - very gently at first, then with great passion. Daisy then whispers in her ear if Ming has ever eaten pussy before. She shyly nods 'no' and Daisy then pushes down on the back of Ming's head until she is level with Lily's face.

"Lily will show you how," Daisy tells Ming with confidence. Ming then buries her face in Daisy's nicely trimmed pussy hair. Soon Lily and Ming are kissing each other and licking Daisy's pussy in unison. After several very pleasurable minutes, Daisy decides to climb off and instructs Ming to strip down. She hurriedly does so and Daisy has Ming sit on Lily's eager face. Daisy then decides to work on Lily, unbuckling her jeans and pulling them down with her underwear. She then dives in, enthusiastically tonguing the dyke's unshaven ginger pussy. Ming watches Daisy as she rides Lily's face, getting more and more turned on by the minute.

Now outside, Racquel runs into Wendy, who has stopped finger-banging herself long enough to realize a second intruder has gotten passed her. She is flustered. Racquel, also flustered, explains what she's just seen and Wendy instinctively puts her arm around her. This is the first time they've spoken in person and Wendy is clearly nervous. Racquel looks really hurt and maybe even on the verge of crying. After a bit of sulking Racquel decides to go back in and confront Lily. Wendy pleads with her not to, but then follows her as she heads back in, just to make sure tempers don't boil over.

The girls are still fucking as Racquel and Wendy enter the living room. Racquel stands their arms folded and gives a phony cough. The girls cease their lovemaking and look up at Racquel and Wendy.

Lily gives the new arrivals a smirk, while Daisy glares at Racquel for interrupting. Lily instructs Wendy to take a seat and enjoy the show. Lily then orders Racquel to stop being selfish, reminding her they are not in a committed relationship and she is a guest in her home. With that, She gives Racquel a shrug and points to the stripper pole located in the middle of the living room.

"Make yourself useful, Racquel. Shake that little ass of yours for us, OK?"

Lily then goes back to licking Daisy's pussy. Wendy undoes her belt, unzips her work pants and shoves her hand down the front as she watches the threesome resume. She masturbates unapologetically as she checks out the two new girls tag-team Lily.

Racquel wanders over to the music console. She then begins grinding on the stripper pole watching her girlfriend in ecstasy. AC/DC's 'You Shook Me All Night Long' starts up as Racquel begins tossing her hair around stripper style trying to get Lily's attention. Racquel then notices Wendy is checking her out and this begins to raise her spirits a bit.

Within a minute or two, Racquel is dancing for the big dyke as Wendy continues fingering herself. Racquel then backs in and bends down giving Wendy an up close look at her gorgeous ass. Lily now finally looks over and sees Wendy is receiving a personal lap dance from Racquel. She gives Wendy a thumbs up.

Racquel then saddles up on one of Wendy's big legs - like a trucker's, Racquel thinks - and began grinding on it, flipping her hair back and giving the dyke a big 'go ahead' smile. Wendy nervously places both her big hands on Racquel's tiny waist as Racquel continues to grind.

Lily looks over again and makes eye contact with Racquel, giving her a nod of approval. Racquel then slides down Wendy's leg and slips into her arms. The two begin to kiss. After some serious French-kissing, Wendy slips her hand down the front on Racquel's very tight cheerleader shorts.

Racquel looks downward for a second and sees Wendy's thick, tattooed wrist shoved down the front of her shorts. She can feel the dyke's stubby fingers on her pussy and it makes her gasp.

With Wendy's other hand, she grabs Racquel's ass, waist, tits and anything else she's had her eye on all week. Wendy cannot believe it!

After a few more minutes of kissing, Racquel rolls off, gets on her knees and begins pulling Wendy's pants down. Not surprisingly, Wendy has to rise up to pull them off. Racquel gets them to her ankles as she hastily pulls off the dyke's Doc Marten's. Wendy then hastily pulls down her white cotton underpants. Racquel giggles and helps her out by yanking them down to her ankles. She then flings them across the living room without a care. Wendy then spreads her legs as Racquel gets her first look at Wendy's incredibly hairy, dark pussy and jellyrolls of fat. Wendy hastily unbuttons her security guard shirt and bra and tosses them over her head, giving Racquel her first view of all her body tattoos and piercings. Racquel, seemingly impressed, then uses her long white painted nails to spread Wendy's pussy apart, smiling mischievously.

"Is this all mine?" Racquel coyly asks the dyke, who could only nod yes.

Racquel then dives in, sticking her tongue up inside her as she gets a whiff of the dyke's sweaty body odor.

Wendy then leans back and watches Racquel, her eyes closed in concentration, eat her out. She exchanges a thumbs up with Lily, who then gives a proud smirk of approval in return. Wendy then returns to gazing at the utterly beautiful knockout licking her pussy, her pretty face somewhat lost in Wendy's wide, unshaven tangle of pussy hair. She realizes Racquel had previously been eating out Lily's unshaven ginger pussy and couldn't get enough of it, so she knew Racquel could handle whatever Wendy had to offer.

A few minutes later, Racquel stops for a moment, reaches inside an ottoman and pulls out a strap-on dick, which she then proceeds to belt around her tiny waist. She shows off the pink dildo to Wendy for approval and then climbed on top of the big girl, pushing her on her back as they then began French kissing once again. Wendy hastily takes off Racquel's Cheerleader top and is soon sucking on her tits. Racquel in turn grabs the dildo head and lubes it, using one of the many bottles of gels Lily had in each room for spontaneous occasions such as this. She slips the glistening dildo head through a tumble of pubic hair before feeling it slide inside of Wendy. She then began slowly fucking her. Wendy then spread her legs as wide as she could and Racquel began pumping the dyke harder as they French kiss once again. Wendy was in heaven, as now she could massage Racquel's perfect little ass. Even though Racquel still had her tight shorts on, Wendy was still capable of sticking her fingers wherever she desired and was given free reign to do so.

Lily changed positions with Daisy and Melinda. They looked over and giggled at the sight of tiny Racquel on top of the big dyke, pumping away. The three went about kissing and licking each other. A few minutes later they all took a break and watched Racquel doggie-style fuck the big girl. Lily thought Racquel looked so incredibly sexy with her tan body, perfect tits bouncing up and down and her gorgeous sun highlighted hair occasionally being flipped back. It was going to be hard to give her up, she thought.

Lily was definitely impressed. Racquel had taken control of the big dyke and was showing her what a pornstar can do against an untrained mortal. Racquel was dominating and from the look on Wendy's face she was just a bit shocked.

Daisy began kissing Lilly's ear, trying to coax her attention back, but Lily and Melinda seemed far more interested in watching the freak show in front of them. Daisy starred at the big girl getting drilled, wondering how the pornstar could possibly be attracted to such a fat pig. Wendy's massive tits hung down and flapped around as Racquel shamelessly gripped onto two rolls of fat on each side and banged like there was no tomorrow. Wendy finally let out a long moan as Racquel fucked her to orgasm. The three watchers applauded and clapped, much to Racquel's embarrassment.

"Dang, you guys, I didn't know I had an audience!" she exclaimed out loud.

Wendy collapsed in heap as Racquel pulled out the strap-on dick and unbuckled herself. Lily shrugged and returned her attention to Daisy as they went back to kissing. Melinda, as if on cue, begins eating out Madame Lily.

Minutes later, Racquel and a rejuvenated Wendy make out passionately. Wendy then begins pulling off Racquel's white shorts. Realizing the cowboy boots are in the way, she gently removes them. Racquel then points her slender legs strait up for Wendy to pull off the shorts with ease. Wendy then slips the boots back on, smiling.

"I like my girls in boots or heels. Always,"

Racquel can only smile as the big dyke goes in for the kill. She then licks Racquel's pussy and ass for several minutes, absolutely devouring her with her thick, wide tongue. Racquel then climbs on top of Wendy's face as they stare lovingly at one another. Wendy's big hands continue to explore Racquel's tight body as she inserts her tongue right up inside of Racquel's pussy. Racquel plays with her tits as she grinds on Wendy's face, nearing orgasm.

A few minutes later, Wendy stops and motions that she wants to look in the toy box. Racquel politely climbs off and Wendy returns with one of Lily's strap-on dicks. She belts it on, adjusting the setting dramatically.

Lily looks over again, catcalling Racquel: "A big black one, huh?"

Racquel smiles sheepishly as Wendy crawls on the bed on all fours towards her girl. She looks over at the monitor and see's Racquel on-screen with two smoking hot pornstars in lingerie and heels, Asia Carrera and Tami Monroe. She simply cannot believe her luck - now it's her turn to make love to Racquel! Wendy gets on top and begins kissing Racquel, letting her fat body squash tiny Racquel, who can only let out an alarmed gasp in return. Wendy then uses her big arms to pull her top half of Racquel so she can breathe comfortably. The two kiss passionately as Wendy slips the black dick inside of Racquel. Racquel instinctively spreads her legs wide and Wendy begins pumping with careful restraint.

To Racquel's surprise, she finds herself exploring the dyke's massive rolls of fat so unfamiliar to her. She runs her finely sculptured fingernails all over Wendy's tattoos, which remind of her of all the dirty bikers she'd let blast loads into her over the years. She felt her passion continue to rise. Racquel then massaged and sucked Wendy's flabby, pale tits. She then caught a glimpse of Wendy's hairy armpits and forearms and just melted inside.