"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING DOWN THERE!!?" Chuck yelled
"Hey, how was I supposed to know I'd be part of some DC scandal?" I yelled back
"I've got all the major networks snooping about, Sofia Vergara's agent just ripped me a new one and the boys at the New York office probably will too!" he roared "Jesus Christ!" he yelled as he slammed his fist on the big conference table "It seems like you've been nothing but trouble for me and this company!" he continued "since you came here we've been sued and then when I think THAT'S all behind us..."
Immediately I stopped him, I knew he might blame the courthouse shooting on me next.
"HEY! HEY! DON'T GO THERE, CHUCK! It was YOUR ex-partner that nearly killed me! I didn't ask for that and you know it!" I was livid that he'd even imply that the lawsuit and what followed was somehow my fault.
I was getting the full tantrum from Chuck Tyler in the wake of the scandal that had broke involving some Washington big shots who happened to be at Villa del Sol the same time that I and some others from Artists Unlimited were there for New Years Eve. Though we didn't know many of the details, it seems like what went on there was NOT in the best interests of their constituency. And when word got back to Chuck, and NBC broke the story, he immediately called me into his office.
Jeff Murphy, Chuck's second in command wisely tried to cool things down between us. While he was in the midst of his tantrum, I saw our lawyer, Michael Baldwin idly reading some documents, oblivious to the fireworks going off around him.
"OK, counselor" he said angrily as he turned to Michael "what's your opinion?"
Michael looked up at everyone over the glasses that sat low on his nose.
"Well..." he said in a bored tone "it's not a complete disaster...I've seen worse."
"But perception is everything, Baldwin!" Chuck yelled back "Sofia's agent tore my ass apart on the phone this morning. What if the Pepsi guys call next and cancel everything?"
"Start drinking Coke." Michael replied in the same tone without looking up from his papers, then quickly added "Look, from what I've seen it's just a lot of security tape footage and we can probably account for where everyone was that night, am I correct?" he said looking around at everyone in the room
"He's right, Chuck" Jeff Murphy, his second in command said "Jim was the only one in any kind of compromising position, and even that's debatable."
"No footage of his face is seen, either." Michael added before turning to me "Jim, did you actually attend this little, shall we say, soiree'?"
"No, I saw people going into a room there but I didn't know what was going on. And I never asked."
"What about the women, did you know any of them?" Jeff asked
Now I was trapped, I knew Laura was there with her friend Judy. I had a good idea what they were doing there, but no idea of how involved they were. She never told me when I asked. And even if she was asked, I knew she was no dummy, she'd probably take the fifth or something.
"No, I didn't know any of them" I finally said
"Then unless someone can clearly implicate him...why worry?" Michael replied
Chuck looked at me, and knew he was getting himself worked up over nothing.
Again!
"Aw, get outta here!" he yelled in his best Archie Bunker voice
Luckily I had someplace to be that day. The album Tigress had been recording in Jersey was out, fittingly titled "Back to Basics". And to promote it they would do an appearance at The Grove that would be featured on the "Extra" TV show. And their appearance would need photos, so I grabbed my photo bag and left to meet them and their manager Amy Adamson. The Grove had become a hot destination ever since it opened, and being featured every night on the show wasn't too bad either.
I found Amy and "the girls" soon after I arrived. We were all escorted to a small stage where Mario Lopez would interview them. I could see Mario going over things with a producer. He always seemed like "Mr. Buffed" whenever I saw him on TV. I swear the guy looked like a walking monument to the fitness culture even with his shirt on. Now that I'd seen him in person I either wanted to hit the Gym hard or drown my sorrows in a double bacon cheeseburger with curly fries and a jumbo chocolate shake.
Tigress bounded up on the stage and gave a typically glossy interview segment before going to a nearby stage to perform and close the show for the day. I snapped photos as usual and then noticed Mario's partner Maria Menounos off to the side. Once their performance ended, I made a beeline for Amy and suggested a photo with Mario and Maria.
"Great idea!" she said and called the girls over
I snapped a few shots then boldly turned the tables
"Uh, could I get a photo of me with Maria?" I asked
Mario immediately offered to take the photo
"I've had enough practice taking photos of my kids to do this." he joked
I hesitantly got next to Maria
"I know you're from Boston, I'm from down the road in Connecticut." I said to her
"No kidding? I once auditioned for a TV job down there." She said
"I hope you don't mind, I'm a big Giants fan too."
"Oh, now I know why you wanted the photo, so you can gloat over the Super Bowl, huh?"
"Well, the thought did occur to me."
We both laughed as Mario snapped the photo. I remembered how she lost a bet on the game and had to wear a bright blue bikini on the show.
"Thank you, Maria. It was, uh, great meeting you."
"Same here, maybe we'll see you down here again."
I could only give a hesitant "sure" in response as she went off with the show staff.
She was kinda cute, I'll admit.
"Somebody's got a crush on Maria." Amy said
"Oh, get real!" I said to her dismissively "If she doesn't like the same football team as me, why would I bother?"
"Sure, why bother?" Amy said with a naughty smile before giggling "OK, look, we've got to head out. The Grove gave us these passes for any of the restaurants here, have lunch on me."
"Thanks, Amy." I said as she and the girls got into their limo
After wandering around awhile, I found one that didn't have a mob scene of people waiting to get in, plus it had an elegant area for "al fresco" dining. I quickly got a table and took in the scene. People watching at a place like this was to be expected, as I looked around it seemed like a mix of power players and tourists, all on their phones or texting. A few tables over from me sat a pretty brunette in black flared pants and a shiny green top, chatting on her phone and making notes as she went. She looked familiar and when she spotted me, her face lit up and she waved.
It was Laura Austin, apparently in her daytime attire.
Laura quickly gathered her things up and made her way to my table, telling the waitress she'd be joining me.
"Well, hey there sweetie!" she said with a kiss on my cheek as she sat down "what're you doing here?"
"Tigress was filming a spot on Extra and I had to do the photos."
"Nice! I didn't expect to see you up and about so soon. How's the leg?" she asked
"Feels great, you barely see any scarring"
"Aw, I'm so happy for you. We sure had fun that day didn't we?"
"Any time spent with you is always, uh, memorable."
Laura held her hand to her mouth as she giggled and our lunch orders arrived. Memorable was certainly the word for the "threesome therapy" she and her friend Rita gave me.
"Now the question I have is what're you doing here? I thought with the news and all you and your pals would lay low for awhile."
"Why should I?"
"Well, aren't you concerned about the scandal and all that stuff at Villa del Sol? I just saw that Senator on TV last night and it didn't seem like he was kidding around."
"Which Senator was it?"
"The one from Nevada."
"Geary?" she said before nearly spitting out her drink from laughter
"You're laughing, that must mean something."
"Oh, my, my, my" she chuckled "How little you know Mr. Hollywood."
"How little I know?"
Laura now leaned in, apparently looking to make a point with me.
"Look, between what I know about this guy, and what Vickie's DONE with this guy..." she said while looking at me with slightly raised eyebrows.
I suddenly realized what she was implying and there was that moment of recognition as we said "Oh!" in unison
"Then I take it that if, shall we say, certain info came out..." I started as I picked up a kosher dill pickle spear "...he might find himself in a real pickle?"
Laura deftly took the pickle from my hand and gave it a little seductive lick
"Yes, he would." She said as she bit into it "there's hope for you yet."
She was no dummy, that's for sure!
"OK, I'd ask what you know, but I know I'd get that 'a good escort' speech I've heard before."
"Oh, I'll tell you what I know."
"Really?" I replied, stunned
"Uh-huh" she said as she took a sip from her iced tea "when my book comes out, you'll be the first to know."
The look on her face told me that once again, she'd trapped me.
"I just walked right into that one, didn't I?" I finally said
We both chuckled at her little flirtation.
"You might not admit it, but you're a keeper of secrets too." She said
"What do you mean?"
"I saw how you and Sofia were all cozy together, there's bound to be a few secrets about that night you'll be keeping locked up."
"Oh, sure...I'm like Peter Lawford with the Kennedy's." I said as I took a sip of my drink
"Right, you're the man who keeps the secrets. Just like that book about him."
"You know that book? You know about him?" I said, surprised that she'd get the reference I'd made, as obscure as it was.
"Sure."
"You never met him, did you?"
"No, I never had the chance. I heard he was a nice guy, but as he got older, he got weirder."
"Well, don't we all?" I replied
I had to admit she was right. I certainly was keeping a lot of secrets about people I met. Even more so, was the fact that more than a few of their secrets were hidden on my laptop and, more recently, my camera.
Note to self; make sure all secret photos are securely hidden.
"Let me ask you this, then. Was he the guy Vickie was meeting at the Beverly Hills Hotel? You know, the night we first met?"
"No, that was a different guy," She said as she took another sip from her drink
"He hasn't been around as long as Geary but he's already learned not to tempt fate, trust me." She added
Just then a cellphone buzzed.
"Mine or yours?" I said as I reached for mine
"Mine" she said as she reached for her phone. It looked like a top of the line Apple IPhone in a bright orange case with what looked the University of Texas logo on it.
"Hello, this is Laura..." she said in a cool, businesslike, but still effortlessly seductive voice "Uh-huh, okay, that'll be good"
