As my trusty Accord needed some more "surgery", I found myself riding with Chris in his Porsche to a morning meeting with Marty O'Brien at his high-rise office.
"Mornin', boys!" Marty said with his usual bravado. "I guarantee you're gonna love me more than you already do! Have a seat." He said while gesturing towards his office chairs. Marty then reached into his desk drawer and pulled out 2 envelopes.
"One for each of you." He said as he handed them to us.
We both looked at them with a bit of suspicion, Chris opened his and his eyes widened.
"Come on Jim, don't leave me in suspense." Marty said with a smile.
I opened the envelope, inside was a check.
With the words "pay to the order of", a dollar sign, and a whole lot of zeroes.
It had taken awhile but our work on the Triple Threat Tour had finally paid off, literally.
"Chris, Jim, you've done a great job. I promised you I'd make things happen and they have. I thank you, and Tigress thanks you." He said in a sincere voice "Enjoy it boys, don't spend it all in one place" then added "or on one girl." with a lecherous chuckle added.
We all stood, shook his hand and slowly walked out of the office, speechless.
Once we got back to the Porsche, we looked at each other smiled.
"This is incredible." Chris said.
I could only shake my head.
We put our aviators on and Chris slowly drove the Porsche out of the garage.
My phone rang; it was the repair shop giving me the news about my car.
"Uh-huh...can I call you back? Thanks Bob." I said.
"Dude, you need some new wheels."
"You've been saying that ever since I arrived here. Hey, I like my car! Hell, it got me laid!"
Chris looked at me with a raised eyebrow that said "oh really?"
"Well, once anyway!" referring to that time I smuggled Paris Hilton out of our studio in the Accord's trunk to avoid the paparazzi, and how she thanked me later that night.
"Jim, I never tell you what to do but this time I will." Chris said.
"Oh, really?" I replied.
"Yes. And I know just what you need, Hollywood." He said as he turned the Porsche down another street.
"What? A cheeseburger?" I said as we passed a Burger King.
"Nope, something befitting a man of your, shall we say, newfound stature." He replied.
"You've gotta be kidding!" I said as I realized where we were going.
Chris had pulled into a Mercedes-Benz dealership.
"How the hell do I afford something from here?"
"Easy, we did a tour promoted by them, right?"
"Yes, but..."
"We, or should I say I, schmoozed with the factory reps, right?"
"Yeah, but..."
"You, and I, have a substantial check courtesy of these guys in your hot little hands, right?"
"I know but..."
"So, Santa Claus just made an early delivery."
Chris was his usual self. How could I argue with "the master"?
He led me into the showroom and immediately recognized someone from the tour.
"Don't come home without some new wheels" he said patting me on the shoulder, "set 'em up Joe!" he said to the salesgirl as he walked out of the dealership and roared away.
"It's Melanie, by the way." She said with a resigned tone.
I stood there, stunned.
"So what can I put you into today?" Melanie said with a smile.
With a deep breath, I replied;
"Well, I've never bought one of these, so my options are pretty wide open."
"That makes things easy." She said.
Suddenly my eyes were drawn to a silver SLK convertible, with a black and red interior. I suddenly flashed back to my last encounter with one of those, and my passenger at the time. Somebody named Rihanna.
"Now THAT looks enticing..." I said.
"You've got a good eye, it just arrived today." Melanie said.
Before I knew it, I was test driving and then had signed papers making me the owner of a silver Mercedes-Benz SLK convertible. Melanie left me for a moment in the accessories area while she went for some temporary DMV paperwork I needed to sign. While I looked around at the other models on the vast showroom floor I heard a voice;
"Hey, you're a friend of Derek's aren't you?" she said.
"Huh? Derek?"
"Derek Adams, he owns that club, what's it called? Oh, yeah, "the Eagle". Over on Sunset."
"Um, yes, he's a friend of mine but I don't remember you." I said, somewhat confused.
"Oh, I'm Kelly, Kelly Clarkson." She said with a smile as we shook hands.
"Oh, wow! Oh my god...can't believe I'm meeting you here." I was surprised to say the least.
"And I think he said your name was Jim, right?"
"Yes, yes it is. So how do you know Derek?"
"Oh, he's from the same town as me, Burleson, Texas."
"Really? He never told me that, I always thought he was from like L.A. or someplace like that."
That was true, Derek never gave any indication he was a Texas kid.
"Yeah, well he must've lost his accent somewhere along the road out here. I'd never lose mine! " she said in that slight Texas drawl of hers.
She noticed me looking at my new car.
"So you gonna buy it?" she asked.
"Um...I just did." I replied with a shrug, still amazed that I had just bought something like this so suddenly.
"No way! Wow! That is so cool!" she said excitedly.
"Yeah, I'm still amazed I really did it." I said looking at the now signed DMV paperwork.
"Gonna drive it off the lot? You've sure got a perfect day to break it in." she said looking out the window at the glorious day outside.
I suddenly realized that the car wouldn't be ready until tomorrow and I had no way home.
"Uh, no...Geez, I better get a ride, my trade in car is across town getting serviced." I said reaching for my cell and hoping Chris could pick me up.
"Come on, I'll drive you." Kelly immediately said as she reached for her keys. "Let's go." She said leading me back outside into the L.A. sunshine.
And before I knew it, I was cruising the Boulevard with Kelly Clarkson.
Kelly's car was an equally gorgeous Mercedes CLK350 convertible in arctic white with a black interior. She looked great behind the wheel with her aviator sunglasses set against her casually tousled sandy brown hair. She had the local classic rock station on as we blew down the streets singing Led Zeppelin songs.
"Man, I love this stuff, I could do a whole album of this." She said.
"I'll have to show you my music collection, it's loaded with stuff like this." I said.
"Oh, cool! I'd love to see that!" she replied.
Kelly asked about where I came from, how Chris and I met, she was laughing the whole time, she definitely was a fun girl to be around.
"Oh, this is where my car is." I said as we came up to the repair center.
"I'll hang around with you." She said as she clicked off the engine.
"Oh, uh, OK." I said, this was a little confusing, but...well...okay.
Kelly wandered into the shop with me, and immediately heads turned as people there wondered why Kelly Clarkson was at a grungy repair shop, and with me, of all people. She stayed close to me, her hands in her weathered blue jean pockets, looking around as if she'd been with me forever. I explained to Bob, my mechanic, how I'd just bought an SLK. He chuckled in response. I wondered if it was because Kelly was with me or because he knew I might be back when something went wrong with the SLK. She went back outside and I saw her talking on her cellphone.
"All set?" she asked as I walked out with the keys to my Accord.
"Uh, yes...I can't thank you enough Kelly" I quickly corrected myself "if it's OK to call you that?"
"Oh hey, I've been called worse babe!" she said with a smile. "Look, I'm doing a private show tomorrow night at the Eagle and I want you there, no excuses."
"Uh...sure, I'll be there!"
"Cool beans babe! 8 tomorrow, see ya!" she said with a quick kiss on the cheek for effect. She got back into her Benz and drove off, smiling at me the whole time as she waved her fingers goodbye.
I stood there, smiling too, and waving my fingers too. I drove back home and cleaned out all my junk from the Accord.
The next morning I drove my Honda for the last time to Mercedes and was handed the keys to my silver SLK350 Convertible. I drove it around all day, discovering little things about what it could do, what gizmos it had. To say I felt like a king was putting it mildly, I felt like an emperor, even if an elderly codger in a Buick blew past me when I was fiddling with the radio.
That evening I headed for the Eagle, feeling super cool in a dark silk suit as I pulled up to the club. Derek spotted me as I walked in and practically fell off his bar stool.
"What are YOU doing here?" he said, still stunned at my presence.
"Here to see Miss Kelly, what are you doing here?" I replied as I casually passed him and got a drink from the bar.
The Eagle was loaded with music power players plus assorted celebs. This was one time I was hoping Paris or Lindsay wouldn't be there, even though it was the kind of event they'd be at. Kelly hit the stage promptly at 8 and blew through all her hits plus new songs from her latest album. She sounded great and looked great in black leather pants with turquoise accents on the sides and a white blazer. After a few songs she tossed the blazer aside in favor of a white t-shirt. I knew she was looking at me the whole time she was onstage. I was grinning all the while, I was really watching her close up. After encores of "Miss Independent" and the Rolling Stones "It's Only Rock 'n Roll", she joyfully thanked everyone and ran offstage. Derek found me in the crowd as I was heading out.
"Hey, Hollywood! Come up to my office, let's have a drink."
How could I refuse?
Derek's private office was a cushy hangout for him and those lucky enough to join him. He poured us glasses of Jack Daniel's and we got caught up with one another. Just then Kelly came in with her manager and assistant. As soon as she saw me her eyes lit up.
"Hey!" she said with glee as she hugged me "Wow what a show!"
"Yeah, it was great Kelly!" I replied.
Derek was equally generous in his praise as he poured Kelly a glass of Jack Daniels and we all toasted the show.
"To Miss Kelly!" Derek said to cheers from all of us.
Kelly fell back onto the leather couch next to me and we all had a good laugh. Her assistant produced a small gym bag.
"Kelly, we'll need to go pretty soon so don't stay too long." She said.
"Oh, right." She said "hey, wait a minute!"
She turned to me "You've got your new car, don't you?"
"Well, it's the only one I have."
"I'll ride home with Jim here." She said as she hugged my arm.
Her assistant agreed and said she'd see Kelly in the morning as she left. I was a little stunned at how bold and how trusting she was of me. We'd only met yesterday.
