As my trusty Accord needed some more "surgery", I found myself riding with Chris in his Porsche to a morning meeting with Marty O'Brien at his high-rise office.
"Mornin', boys!" Marty said with his usual bravado. "I guarantee you're gonna love me more than you already do! Have a seat." He said while gesturing towards his office chairs. Marty then reached into his desk drawer and pulled out 2 envelopes.
"One for each of you." He said as he handed them to us.
We both looked at them with a bit of suspicion, Chris opened his and his eyes widened.
"Come on Jim, don't leave me in suspense." Marty said with a smile.
I opened the envelope, inside was a check.
With the words "pay to the order of", a dollar sign, and a whole lot of zeroes.
It had taken awhile but our work on the Triple Threat Tour had finally paid off, literally.
"Chris, Jim, you've done a great job. I promised you I'd make things happen and they have. I thank you, and Tigress thanks you." He said in a sincere voice "Enjoy it boys, don't spend it all in one place" then added "or on one girl." with a lecherous chuckle added.
We all stood, shook his hand and slowly walked out of the office, speechless.
Once we got back to the Porsche, we looked at each other smiled.
"This is incredible." Chris said.
I could only shake my head.
We put our aviators on and Chris slowly drove the Porsche out of the garage.
My phone rang; it was the repair shop giving me the news about my car.
"Uh-huh...can I call you back? Thanks Bob." I said.
"Dude, you need some new wheels."
"You've been saying that ever since I arrived here. Hey, I like my car! Hell, it got me laid!"
Chris looked at me with a raised eyebrow that said "oh really?"
"Well, once anyway!" referring to that time I smuggled Paris Hilton out of our studio in the Accord's trunk to avoid the paparazzi, and how she thanked me later that night.
"Jim, I never tell you what to do but this time I will." Chris said.
"Oh, really?" I replied.
"Yes. And I know just what you need, Hollywood." He said as he turned the Porsche down another street.
"What? A cheeseburger?" I said as we passed a Burger King.
"Nope, something befitting a man of your, shall we say, newfound stature." He replied.
"You've gotta be kidding!" I said as I realized where we were going.
Chris had pulled into a Mercedes-Benz dealership.
"How the hell do I afford something from here?"
"Easy, we did a tour promoted by them, right?"
"Yes, but..."
"We, or should I say I, schmoozed with the factory reps, right?"
"Yeah, but..."
"You, and I, have a substantial check courtesy of these guys in your hot little hands, right?"
"I know but..."
"So, Santa Claus just made an early delivery."
Chris was his usual self. How could I argue with "the master"?
He led me into the showroom and immediately recognized someone from the tour.
"Don't come home without some new wheels" he said patting me on the shoulder, "set 'em up Joe!" he said to the salesgirl as he walked out of the dealership and roared away.
"It's Melanie, by the way." She said with a resigned tone.
I stood there, stunned.
"So what can I put you into today?" Melanie said with a smile.
With a deep breath, I replied;
"Well, I've never bought one of these, so my options are pretty wide open."
"That makes things easy." She said.
Suddenly my eyes were drawn to a silver SLK convertible, with a black and red interior. I suddenly flashed back to my last encounter with one of those, and my passenger at the time. Somebody named Rihanna.
"Now THAT looks enticing..." I said.
"You've got a good eye, it just arrived today." Melanie said.
Before I knew it, I was test driving and then had signed papers making me the owner of a silver Mercedes-Benz SLK convertible. Melanie left me for a moment in the accessories area while she went for some temporary DMV paperwork I needed to sign. While I looked around at the other models on the vast showroom floor I heard a voice;
"Hey, you're a friend of Derek's aren't you?" she said.
"Huh? Derek?"
"Derek Adams, he owns that club, what's it called? Oh, yeah, "the Eagle". Over on Sunset."
"Um, yes, he's a friend of mine but I don't remember you." I said, somewhat confused.
"Oh, I'm Kelly, Kelly Clarkson." She said with a smile as we shook hands.
"Oh, wow! Oh my god...can't believe I'm meeting you here." I was surprised to say the least.
"And I think he said your name was Jim, right?"
"Yes, yes it is. So how do you know Derek?"
"Oh, he's from the same town as me, Burleson, Texas."
"Really? He never told me that, I always thought he was from like L.A. or someplace like that."
That was true, Derek never gave any indication he was a Texas kid.
"Yeah, well he must've lost his accent somewhere along the road out here. I'd never lose mine! " she said in that slight Texas drawl of hers.
She noticed me looking at my new car.
"So you gonna buy it?" she asked.
"Um...I just did." I replied with a shrug, still amazed that I had just bought something like this so suddenly.
"No way! Wow! That is so cool!" she said excitedly.
"Yeah, I'm still amazed I really did it." I said looking at the now signed DMV paperwork.
"Gonna drive it off the lot? You've sure got a perfect day to break it in." she said looking out the window at the glorious day outside.
I suddenly realized that the car wouldn't be ready until tomorrow and I had no way home.
"Uh, no...Geez, I better get a ride, my trade in car is across town getting serviced." I said reaching for my cell and hoping Chris could pick me up.
"Come on, I'll drive you." Kelly immediately said as she reached for her keys. "Let's go." She said leading me back outside into the L.A. sunshine.
