It was inevitable.
My excesses would catch up with me sooner or later and I'd have to see a Doctor.
I was a nervous wreck that morning, my performance just wasn't right.
"Aches and pains?" I was asked.
"Yep, got those." I answered.
"Unusual discharge?" was the next question.
"Yep, that too." I answered.
"Come right in." was the suggestion.
So I headed for the clinic down the road. It handled me and several others that day. I now place myself in the hands of the best in their business. I sit and wait, wondering what the others are here for.
"Wonder what he's got?" I thought looking at one.
"Things don't look right with her." I thought about another.
And then the specialist comes in, and calls my name.
I tremble as I raise my hand, and he comes over with a clipboard and sheets of paper.
"So what's the prognosis?" I asked fearfully.
"Oh, your cars' gonna be fine." He answers.
The color returns to my face.
He goes on to explain that the overheating problem and general creakiness in my Honda's performance was due to a leak in a coolant pipe that needs to be replaced. Hence the unusual discharge. He's surprised it held up as long as it did, considering the mileage.
I'm just waiting for the price of all this diagnosis and treatment.
Luckily I find out that having Chris as a friend gets me a nice discount.
"OK, set it up." I say.
That's when I get the zinger.
"It'll be about three hours to fix everything." He says.
The color leaves my face.
Well, it's gotta be done, might as well make good use of my time.
I walk up the road to a McDonald's and get breakfast and newspapers for the long wait.
As I'm sitting there, biscuit crumbs dropping around me, I see a pretty brunette on her phone, a sports magazine in hand. She's wearing pink sweatpants and an LA Dodgers shirt.
"Right, I'm at the dealer now...Um, I'm not sure, they said about an hour. So I'll meet you there...OK, bye." She says with a crisp, business-like tone before hanging up.
"These guys can always keep you as long as they want, huh?" I say.
"Looks like it. What are you here for?" she asks.
"Oh, my Accord's been overheating, needs some kind of coolant pipe." I answer.
"I had the same thing on my car." She says.
"You have an Accord too?" I ask.
"Oh no, BMW convertible." She says with a proud smile "I love it."
"Man, I would too." I reply.
"Oh, I'm Alyssa." She says.
"Jim." I try to wipe off whatever grease I have from the biscuit before shaking her hand. It feels ever so soft.
"Sorry, darn McDonald's sandwich." I say apologetically.
"Oh, no, don't. I love those, I could eat them every day, wouldn't be good for this though." And she pats her perfectly flat stomach.
"I know what you mean." I said.
"But I've gotta give them credit, it was my first job." She said.
"You worked there?" I asked.
"Well, sort of. I did a commercial for them in Japan." She said.
"Really? How'd that happen?" I was surprised.
"Well, that usually happens when you're an actress." She said.
"Oh, I get it." Then it hit me. "Wait a minute, wait a minute." I said slowly.
She looked at me and smiled.
"Uh, are you-?" I said nervously.
"Right, Alyssa Milano." She said with a "now you know who I am" smile.
"Whoa! I thought you looked sort of familiar." I said, smiling now.
She smiled back at me.
"I guess your car isn't quite as charmed as you, huh?" I joked.
"Not quite!" She laughed heartily in response.
Just as she said that, she was told her car was ready.
"Oh, I'm sorry we didn't get to talk more. It was nice meeting you Jim." She stood up and went outside to her car.
"Yes, good luck in your future." I said.
"You, too." She said with a smile.
And I spent the remaining time alone, oh well.
Well, even "Hollywood Jim" isn't as 'charmed' as others are sometimes.
The next day, Chris was all excited about an invite he'd gotten to The Eagle.
"Derek's having his birthday bash there and we're invited. And I know you hate this sort of thing, but you really should go. It's invitation only and it'll be a smaller crowd anyway." He said.
"Well, OK, I'll go. That place isn't so bad now that I think about it." I replied.
Now usually a night out with him was something I avoided at all costs. But this was different, Derek Adams was a friend after all, and Chris had told me how they'd helped one another out at different times.
"How'd he get that place anyway, I thought he owned Red Light District?" I asked.
"Well, he used to own both. He always had the Eagle and thought he could run both places. But he got bored and Red Light was burning him out anyway, so he sold his interest and stayed with Eagle. It's like he woke up one day and said 'I've had it'." Chris explained as we headed out to his Porsche.
"I'll pick you up at your place in an hour." Chris said as he drove away.
When he showed up I walked out to the car and as I opened the door got a surprise.
"Hi, 'Hollywood'!" yelled Candy and Mandy with a giggle.
Chris had the girls from Tigress crammed into the back seat of the Porsche.
I laughed, but groaned at the same time. Chris had this mischievous smile on his face.
"Well, you didn't think we were going alone did you?" he asked innocently.
I climbed in and immediately got a kiss on my cheek from one of them.
The Porsche roared off to the Eagle.
The Eagle was crowded but it wasn't a wild crowd, Derek invited just anybody famous there. It was Derek's night, and he controlled everything. The drinks flowed freely and the music was what he wanted to hear, quite a change from the norm.
My plan was to get a few in me, wish the birthday boy well and then bum a ride home from somebody. Chris was bound to be there all night. And I could see a few friends of ours there, so I figured I had my ride all set.
I wandered about the club, checking out who was there. It seemed like a lot of supermodel-types whose names escaped me. Chris was deep in conversation with 2 of them, and Tigress was up in the DJ booth.
And I was bored.
"Hey, Jim!" I turned and there was Derek.
"Hey, happy birthday Derek!" I said shaking his hand.
"Thank you, thank you. It's always a joy turning another year older." He said with a touch or sarcasm. "I didn't get to talk to you much last time. I have to give you a lot of credit for this place."
