The more time I spent in LA, the more I realized how different some thing's can be. Take rain for example. I found out that when it rains out here, it really rains!
This was one of those days that make the area famous. It was a Saturday morning and I was looking forward to a long rest after my recent adventures. My day would be centered on laundry and food shopping (Yes, another exciting time for "Hollywood Jim"). After that, I would be incommunicado for the rest of the weekend, as I had a date with my couch and a marathon of James Bond movies. And the weather seemed to agree with my plans. I awoke to the muted roar of raindrops on my roof. And the sudden realization that "Mother Hubbard's cupboard", was empty. I had to go out sooner rather than later.
So I headed out in the storm, but I needed my coffee fix first. I stopped at a drive thru shop and got a large hazelnut to go. I also got a drenching of rain when I reached out for my coffee. Oh well, into every life some rain must fall. I was headed down a side road to a local Ralph's when I came upon a huge puddle in the road. Not knowing how deep it was, I drove through slowly. The way the rain waters parted, I felt like Moses at the red sea. Once I'd cleared it I noticed something odd. There was a lipstick red Porsche Cayman on the side of the road. Minus a rear wheel, this seemed to have landed on the other side of the road. A drenched blonde flagged me down. She was wearing a black t-shirt, sweatpants, and nearly in tears.
"Hey, can you help me?" she cried
"Sure, what is it?" I asked
"My car has totally broken apart, my phone's dead, I'm cold..." she sputtered breathlessly through her tears.
"OK, OK let me see what I can do, I'll-"
"Winnie!" she screamed
A little black dog had scampered out of her car and was running free. She screamed and called the dog's name as she chased after it. I threw my car into park and got out and joined the chase. I quickly overtook the girl and followed the black mop of fur as it ran towards what looked like a heavily congested street. I somehow got in front of the dog and grabbed it off the pavement, just inches from certain disaster. But not for me, I fell into a huge puddle. And I was drenched even further than I already was.
The girl was still screaming the dog's name as she caught up with me. She was out of breath and now sobbing.
"It's OK, it's OK, I got her!" I yelled
"Winnie, oh Winnie!" she said over and over through her tears.
"Let's get back to your car, Miss-."
"Br-Br-Bridget." she said through her tears.
"OK, Bridget, you're both OK, Let's get back to our cars, it's a little dryer there."
I wrapped her and the dog in my jacket and we walked back to our cars. The Porsche was clearly "dead in the water". She explained how she misjudged how deep the puddle was and hit a pothole so hard it broke the wheel right off the axle. The back end of the car dragged on the street and some of the bodywork was ripped apart too. Who knows what kind of damage had been done to the engine. She was clearly upset by the whole thing. She reached for her phone again but the battery was still dead. And the Porsche Emergency Response System didn't seem to be working either. So it's no wonder she was upset.
"Well, I'm an Auto Club member. Let me see if they'll help you." I said
I went back to my car. My phone was, luckily, fully charged. I called my club and they were available to help.
"Great, my problem is I'd like to have this service for a friend whose car is down and she can't contact her club, can I put this on my membership?" I asked
They said they could and just needed the recipient's name.
"Right, her name is, excuse me, Bridget?"
"Yes?"
"The club just needs your last name for the report!" I said
"Oh, Marquardt, Bridget Marquardt." She had regained some composure now.
"OK, her name is Bridget Marquardt." I suddenly realized who this water logged driver was. I had a "Girl Next Door" right next to me! I better regain my composure pretty damn quick!
She was a little calmer now, but very waterlogged. I was too. And the rain didn't seem to be letting up. What with the damage from the accident, it was now lapping at the doorframe of her car. Pretty soon, her car would become a boat.
"Would you rather sit in my car, Bridget? It's a little drier." I asked
"Oh, yeah. Good idea." She answered, now beginning to smile a little.
She and Winnie sat in the front seat of my car. I think she was happier to see her dog safe and sound more than anything else.
"I feel like a drowned rat!" she said with a slight smile.
"Well, that makes two of us. I'm Jim by the way." And I offered her my hand.
"Oh, yes! I'm Bridget, thank you so much!"
"Here, drink some coffee. It'll warm you two up." I said
"Thank you! Oh, just what I needed." She said as she sipped the coffee.
"If you don't mind my asking, where were you headed when this happened?" I said.
"Oh, back home. I live a few blocks away and I thought this way wouldn't be so congested with the rain and all. I guess I was wrong about that!"
She closed her eyes a little, took a deep breath, and leaned her head back. She was trying to calm herself down.
"I just can't believe this could happen to my car. I'm a great driver too." She said.
"No driver's totally perfect." I replied.
I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a flatbed tow truck approaching.
"Gee, those guys arrived quicker than I thought" I said with a touch of surprise. And regret. Here I had a famous starlet in my car, and my time with her was over before it even started.
"Uh, do you need a ride home? It's the least I can do for you." I offered.
"Oh, that'll be great! I just want to get home and dry off, yes that'll be perfect!" she said, now with that "Bridget smile".
While Bridget sat in my car, I met with the wrecker guys as they loaded up the Porsche and arranged its transport. I grabbed her bag out of the car and we headed off.
"OK, isn't the mansion in like Beverly Hills?" I asked.
Oh, crap! I'd just made the same mistake I made with Paris Hilton, I revealed too much of myself too soon. This time instead of inadvertently using the "Hollywood Jim" nickname, it was revealing that I knew who she was and where she lived.
Great job "Hollywood"!
"Well, it's not the mansion we're going to." She said slowly. Now realizing I knew who she was.
"Oh, well where then?" I replied.
"I have a condo down the street. I actually live there." She said.
"Oh, OK." I relied, but with a mix of confusion and disappointment.
"I'll let you in on a secret, since you seem to know who I am. We only live at the Bunny house when they film the show, the rest of the time I live out here. I'm sorry to let you down." She explained.
"Oh, I see." I replied.
"I got this place when I was in school," she explained "And I like the fact it's really mine. The Bunny house is nice and all. But it's too much like a dorm, everybody needs their own space and all, right?"
"You're right, that really makes sense."
"Turn left up here." She directed me now.
Her condo was a simple, nondescript place. You'd never know that a "Girl Next Door" lived here.
"Come on in, you look pretty waterlogged too." She said
We dashed inside the house, just glad to be somewhere warm and dry. She immediately put Winnie down and she scampered away.
"You naughty doggie!" she scolded, but with a smile. She looked at me saying;
"Let me get you something, I'll be right back."
The silence after coming in from outside was a bit jarring. The inside was comfortable. A sectional couch and several easy chairs were in one room. There was a large framed photo of her with Hugh Hefner and Holly and Kendra on one wall. A portrait of her and Hefner alone at Christmas time was on an end table. I stared at both, realizing fully whom I was with right now. What were the chances?
Bridget reappeared now. She'd dried her hair a little and wore a white terrycloth robe with the Playboy logo embroidered on the front (naturally). She tossed me a similar robe saying;
"Put this on, it'll warm you up. I'm gonna make some coffee for us." And she went into the kitchen. I wasn't quite sure what to do at this moment.
"Uh, where should I change?" I sheepishly asked.
"Right there is fine, I'll show you where to hang your clothes." She said from the kitchen.
"Okay, then."
Well, at least I got that out of the way. I quickly stripped down to my underwear and put the robe on, she's right, it did feel good. I walked into the kitchen with my things. She instructed me to hang them on a rack near the back door. Out in the backyard I could see a Jacuzzi, and all the standard California patio gear. As well as a large barbeque grill.
Her kitchen was enormous. It was ultra-modern, but with clean, distinct, lines. It wasn't cluttered, just furnished very efficiently. She was measuring exact amounts of coffee and then sending it through a grinder. There was such a look of concentration on her face. She could've worked for Starbucks the way she operated here.
"Man, this is a great kitchen!" I said
"You like it? I love being in here. People always tell me how great this place is. I did the design of it." She said with a big smile.
"Really? It wasn't like this when you bought it?"
"Oh, God no! The place was such a dump when I bought it. I figured I'd fix it up and then sell it. But it came out so well, I just didn't have the heart." She replied.
She fixed the coffee and handed me my cup. It tasted perfect.
"Let's go in the TV room." She said, leading me down some steps to another room. Her TV room was also comfortably furnished. There were shelves filled with DVD's. Framed posters for movies past and present were on the walls. More photos of her with the girls and other celebs. A big flat screen TV was mounted on the wall. She planted herself on a big black leather couch, tucking her legs underneath her and directing me where to sit down by tapping a spot next to her.
"So, Mr. Jim, where were you headed today?" she asked with a smile.
"Would you believe to Ralph's?" I replied.
"No way! So was I!" she exclaimed.
"Yeah, Mother Hubbard's cupboard was empty when I woke up." I said.
"Wait a minute, you mean you haven't had breakfast yet?" she asked.
"Uh, looks that way." I replied.
"Oh, we've got to take care of that!" she said, and jumped up heading back to the kitchen. I stood up too, but she stopped me.
"No, you stay there I'm getting you breakfast, baby!" she smiled widely and handed me the TV remote. As she went back upstairs she said;
"You deserve a good breakfast after helping me!"
I sat there, dumbfounded. But amazed at how things can change for me. I flicked on the TV and started scanning through the stations while sipping my coffee.
