[Acknowledgement of inspiration to CDE and John Feer]
I just cannot understand why Diana keeps having so many "accidents" since she has become my wife. Before, she never ... I guess that's confusing, so let me start over.
My name is Steve and I'm a retired military officer. For copyright reasons, I can't tell you my last name or Diana's maiden name. I had been in love with Diana for many years before she finally and suddenly accepted my long-standing proposal of marriage. Besides the length of our courtship, starting back during WWII, there is nothing too unusual about that. What's unusual is that Diana, although I didn't know that was her name at the time, is a superheroine. I can't be too explicit, except to say she's a woman who is wonderfully stacked, wears a skimpy star-spangled costume, and goes around saving the world.
Well, I actually do a good bit of the saving, but she always gets the credit. I think the TV crews just love to zoom in on those DD boobs as she hands the mad scientist, alien monster, or political terrorist over to the authorities. Take the caper just before we married.
Something, a meteorite supposedly, had crashed into a remote ranching area out West. Soon reports began arriving of women in the area being molested by some sort of creature. International Defense Intelligence Agency sent me and the superheroine I loved to investigate. I interviewed the women while she scoured the area for the spaceship, for that's what IDIA now thought it was.
The stories I got from the women were all similarly vague. A creature, described always as large, dark, and humanoid, attacked women when they were alone. The descriptions of the creature were all pretty disgusting -- snouts, multiple limbs -- but afterwards the women didn't seen upset about the attack. None could remember much, but they got a kind of happy, dreamy look on their faces when they tried. Stranger still, several of the husbands pulled me aside later to tell me that since the "attack" their wives had been acting quite odd, not that they were complaining. Let me transcribe my notes of one typical statement:
"It's great, buddy! Suddenly Mary Jane wants to do it all the f_ _ _ ing time, I mean like EVERY f_ _ _ ing DAY. I used to have to threaten to let my mother move in with us to get a BJ; now she's turned into a cum addict. She loves to kneel there in front of me and suck on my rod. I swear, I think she orgasms just from having it in her mouth, although she sometimes says it's too bad I have only one! She doesn't get tired, but she does get so worked up that she just has to get f _ _ _ed. She begs me for it. And before she would never let me eat her; now she can't get enough of that, either, except she gets so worked up and wants me to ... like I said."
"Hell, she wants sex so bad all the time I've been able to get her to act more like a woman, like ditching all those goddamned pantyhose and ordering a bunch of sexy stockings and bras from the mail-order catalogue. And I've got her actually wearing the sexy pajamas I've been buying her for Valentine's day and anniversary since we married. When we go out square dancin' she wears skirts short enough to make my buddies envious, and around home, she just runs around in scanties."
"But the best thing, and this was her idea, she's let me knock her up again, like I've been wantin' to ever since our youngest went off to school. From the first time we f_ _ _ ed after the attack, she didn't make me wear a condom. She's promised to quit her job at the bank and stay home raisin' me a whole 'second family.'"
I just hoped the maternity ward in the little community hospital could handle the business!
I finished the interviews in less than a day but Diana hadn't come back to the Hotel, (separate rooms
), so I went looking for her. I had a device that homed in on her invisible plane and found it near the mouth of a cave. Nearby I saw the remains of the crashed alien spacecraft, cleverly disguised to look like the remains of a weather balloon. As I approached, I though I heard the sounds of a struggle. Entering the cave I saw Diana in mortal combat with a large dark humanoid opponent. I smiled proudly to see she had the best of him. He was on his back and Diana was trying to knock the breath out of him by banging her self up and down on his abdomen, crying out, "Yes! Yes, you monster. Like that." The delight on her face showed she was pleased with the way things were going. I noticed that in the struggle, her top had come off and I got my first peek at those twin mountains I'd been dreaming about.
Unfortunately just at that moment, the creature gained the upper hand, somehow being able to flip Diana over so that he was now on top. I was now able to see his advantage. Besides two strong arms he had two tentacles growing from his chest and he was using them to torment poor Diana's breasts. Worse, I hadn't noticed when he did it but he had gotten yet another tentacle in her, er, feminine parts. The pain must have been terrible for Diana was incoherent, screaming, "Oh, no, not my tits! Uuuuuh! Great Hera you're big. You're splitting me in two. AHHHH!"