(Heather goes back in time to seduce celebrity chef Alton Brown before he became famous.)
Everyone always fawns over Tyler Florence on the Food Network, saying he's the hottest thing. I don't buy it. He's so pathetically obvious in his flirtation with some of his female co-hosts. Not sexy at all. I prefer witty, smart, and handsome, with sexiness simmering beneath a deadpan exterior. Somebody more like, oh, Alton Brown. The man who once compared brioche to lingerie. The man who once said, about his own MacGyver-esque style of cooking, that if a man can be so creative in the kitchen, imagine how he can be in the bedroom. Damn! But I'd never stand a chance to fuck a happily married, super-busy celebrity.
Let's see, he said once in an interview that back in college, he was a cook at a pizza place and he used to pick up girls by offering to cook for them. Bingo! To the lab...
***
So, I've finally perfected my magical time machine, hidden under the skin in my hand beneath my rose tattoo, and in the nick of time, too, because I've never been hornier in my life.
I grab a Pyrex dildo off the shelf and slide it inside me, slamming it in and out of my cunt while slipping my fingers down to my swollen clit, rubbing vigorously to try to get some relief. Despite the fact that I cum about thirty seconds later, my clit swells right up again and my juices start flowing even more.
Frustrated, I wash my hands and take off my lab coat, which is all I was wearing, and shimmy into short, tight white tennis shorts, a tight red t-shirt, and spiky red heels. I don't know how much more 1982 I could get, but hey, that's the idea. I tease my shoulder-length blond hair and apply black eyeliner and mascara, peach blush, and nude lipstick. I look kind of like the cover of an old Sweet Valley High book, except I'm 22.
I'm ready to go. I run a search on my machine to find AB in late August 1982, at the beginning of fall semester, and there he is. At work. At a little pizza place near the University of Georgia in Athens, GA. Away I go. It's ten after 8pm, 80 degrees outside and the sun has just set.
I saunter in and order a slice and a soda pop. AB must be in the back. I finish my slice and sip thoughtfully on my drink. I ask to meet the chef. "No, there's no problem. It will only take a moment," I explain quickly to the manager behind the counter.
AB wipes down the stove, and then glances up when he hears me approach. "May I help you?" He begins wiping another counter.
"Hi! I'm Heather," I smile seductively.
"Hey, I'm Alton. What can I do for you?" He barely glances up again as he continues wiping surfaces.
Oh, it's even worse than when I watch him on T.V., how he is so focused on what he's doing, but all I can think about is him bending me over the kitchen counter. I say nonchalantly, "Nice to meet you, Alton. The pizza crust is delicious, so I just wanted to compliment the chef."
"Uhh, thanks. I just follow the recipe. It's actually pretty basic."
"You're very welcome. Do you think you could show me how to make it sometime?" I draw out my words so he understands my innuendo.
He stops cleaning. He's silent for a moment as he looks up, and his eyes travel my petite frame from my face to my perky breasts to my slim waist and curvy hips, then down to my long, bare legs and shapely red heels, then right back up to my face.