Sarah looked around her suite at the island resort. It was luxurious, with marble in the bathroom and a balcony looking out to the ocean.
She unpacked quickly then she lay on the double bed and stared at the ceiling with tears in her eyes. This was the bed she had been going to share with Roger, her fiancée until two months ago when he had called off their marriage. She had been devastated. She adored him, they had been living together for two years so happily, he was perfect for her, they had talked so much about sharing their lives together and the family they would have.
She had thought of canceling the reservation but over the two months she was in grief. Grief from missing Roger, grief from missing her relationship and grief from loneliness. It had been unnerving to go to parties without a partner and going home alone to her apartment afterwards was even worse. It was the loneliest time of her life. A lot of men would have liked have to changed that, but she compared them to Roger and none got past polite conversation.
Sarah owned a boutique and with her flair for style, her flair for fashion and her hard nosed business sense she was successful and she never had to worry about money. But her mind had become preoccupied with Roger and her loneliness, she had become stressed, her business had suffered and her accountant had said she needed a holiday.
She poured a glass of wine and took it to the balcony. The beach was bordered by palm trees, the sand was white, there were windsurfers scudding across the bay and gentle waves lapped onto the beach. She looked to her right and saw a big swimming pool surrounded by deck chairs. She took in the view for ten minutes then started to pour another glass.
"No, I haven't come here to drown my sorrows. It's time for a swim."
She took off her clothes and looked at herself in a full length mirror as she put on her bikini.
"35 and not too bad. Not too bad at all."
She was tall and slim with waving black hair which came to her shoulders. Big brown eyes, chiseled cheek bones and generous lips. The only small lines she had were where she smiled. She was a competitive age group swimmer, with lightly muscled arms, abs and legs and her B cup breasts looked larger than that as they proudly jutted out from her slim torso. Her media people always liked it when she modeled the clothes for her boutique.
She wandered through the lobby, looked at the resort shops, looked at the postcards and decided there was no-one she wanted to send one to. She resolved that she had to do something, so she booked a bus tour for the next morning and a fishing trip for the next.
The gardens were huge and lovely with towering palm trees, a blaze of color from the bushes, buzzing from the insects and brilliantly colored tropical birds flitting through the trees.
Only half the deck chairs around the pool were taken and Sarah found one in the shade. She looked around. There were some family groups and some couples. Her heart sank, everyone was sharing this holiday with family and friends. Everyone except her.
She heard shouts of laughter and looked around. There was a group playing volleyball. College students on vacation she guessed. About 10 young men and young women with tanned bodies were having the times of their lives. Her loneliness sunk in more and she opened her book.
After an hour Sarah was hot so she took off her sundress and swam in the pool. The cool water was refreshing and she pushed herself to swim 25 fast lengths. When she got out she was aware of men's eyes on her but she was used to this and comfortably ignored them and returned to her book.
When she was dry she put on her sundress and decided to walk past the volleyball court to go to the beach. A girl walked close to her to pick up the ball and gave her a friendly grin.
"Hi," she said.
"Hi," Sarah smiled and replied.
As she was walking away from the court the volleyball bounced at her feet. She picked it up and turned around. A tall, young, blond haired man was coming to collect it.
"Catch," Sarah smiled and threw it to him.
"Thanks." He caught it and went back to the court.
"Did he blush?" Sarah asked herself.
The beach was white sands, palm trees, an almost tranquil sea, seabirds soaring in the sky and lots of couples and people in groups. It was a paradise and Sarah wished she had never come.
In the evening she overcame her inclination to have a meal in her room, strolled into town and found a small restaurant for dinner. The ethnic food was delicious, the service was friendly, there was a noisy, boisterous atmosphere and everyone was having a good time. Except for Sarah. The other restaurant guests were all couples or groups. She looked at her book but couldn't read.
She wandered through the town, poking into some of the small shops, then she heard some music and followed it to a night club. Dancing was one of the passions of her life.
Everyone there was younger but that didn't bother her as she was confident with her appearance. One young man asked her to dance. She enjoyed it as he was a good dancer but after two dances the music slowed, he put an arm around her waist and Sarah made her excuses and went to the bar. Two good looking men came to talk, but she wasn't interested and soon they took the message and left her alone.
The girl who had said "Hi" to her at the volleyball came over to the bar and they started to talk as she waited for her drink. Her name was Jeanie and she was studying fashion so when she learned that Sarah had a boutique they kept talking. They were joined by a confident and enthusiastic young man who had a winning smile.
"Sarah, this is my boyfriend Brad. Brad, Sarah owns a fashion boutique. It's really interesting, I'd like to do that someday."
Brad joined in the conversation and the three of them struck up a rapport.
"Sarah, why don't you come and meet the others?" asked Brad.
He introduced her to all the young women and young men. They were a happy group and welcomed her and, as she had thought, they were students who had come for a holiday after their exams.
The last she was introduced to was the boy who she had thrown the volleyball to. He was tall and gangly and looked awkward as he came over.
"Al, this is Sarah."
"Hi Al," Sarah smiled at him.
"Hi." He glanced quickly at her then looked away. Sarah's attention was diverted for a moment and when she turned back he was gone.
Two of the boys asked her to dance and she happily joined them. Once she noticed Al looking at her but as soon as he saw her glance he blushed and turned away. She sat a table and talked with Brad and Jeanie. She worked out that Jeanie was a sort of mother hen to the group and Brad just carried everyone along with his enthusiasm.
Sarah saw that a lot of them tried to help Al join in. Some girls dragged him onto the dance floor where he danced awkwardly and sat down after one song.
"Al is very shy isn't he," said Sarah remembering his blush when she had thrown him the volleyball.
"He is, always has been. And his father died a year ago after a horrible long illness. We don't think he has recovered yet. He and Brad are in the same class and basketball team and they used to room together until Brad and I got together." said Jeanie.
"We were surprised when he said he would come here,"
"Look at him dancing, he's so uptight and awkward. You wouldn't think it was the same person if you saw him on the basketball court, he's like a gazelle there."
"Never had a girlfriend as far as I know. I just wish he'd find someone and get laid."
Brad gave Jeanie a big squeeze and she kissed his cheek.
Brad took Sarah onto the dance floor. What he lacked in natural rhythm he made up for in enthusiasm and Sarah became happy and relaxed. She talked and danced with a lot of her new found friends. Then the music slowed and the couples started to embrace as they danced. Sarah watched some of the girls clinging tightly to their partners and kissing them. Her loneliness swamped her again and she went back to the hotel.
Sarah thought about the kissing couples. She loved sex. For her it was an intimate and passionate time of excitement and giving and receiving. She had never been into one night stands, but she didn't have to be engaged to do it either.
She thought about the tragic story Jeanie had told her about Al's father. She thought about how terrible it would be to watch a loved one die like that. That put her own issues with Roger into perspective and she resolved to stop wallowing in self pity. She thought about that awkward and gawky and vulnerable young man and wondered how it would have been for him.
