The next morning, Rick and Emily slept in. I left breakfast out for them while I did some other chores. Finally I heard them come downstairs while I was jazzing up one of Emily's PowerPoints.
I avoided them. I couldn't shake the humiliation of the night before. I couldn't believe I had gone through with this insane plan to help Emily and Rick's relationship.
Later, after Rick went out, Emily found me and gave me a big hug.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she said.
"Everything's OK?" I said.
"Better than OK! He was so sweet this morning. We made love--it was wonderful. I feel like he's back to
normal
, finally!"
"I was so scared you would be mad," I said.
"Why would I be mad?"
"I don't know, I thought--I mean, you
saw
us--together."
"So?" she said.
"I've seen you get pretty jealous sometimes," I said.
"Oh, Abigail," she said, with a little laugh. She put her hand on my shoulder. "Not with
you!
"
***
The next night, I was just drifting off to sleep when a soft knock on the door startled me awake. Rick swung the door open without waiting for a response.
"Is everything all right?" I said.
He looked a bit sheepish. Then I saw what he had in his hands. He was holding it like a religious offering--a bottle of lubricant.
"Oh," I said.
I don't know why I thought our arrangement had been a one-time thing. I thought Rick just needed to get it out of his system, and then everything would go back to the way it had been. All of us would forget that we had ever done this shameful thing.
But here Rick was, in my room, again, and it was clear what he wanted. He wasn't sneaking around. Emily was home. She was in the next room, and she knew he was here.
So I pulled my shorts off, under the covers. And when he climbed into bed with me, I turned over, offering him my ass.
Neither of us said another word.
***
Hey, how are you?
texted Darcy.
Hope you're ok. Let me know if you ever want to talk.
When I didn't reply, she sent:
I'm worried about you.
I didn't know what to tell her. She wouldn't understand. I never returned her text.
***
Rick didn't visit my room every night. I never knew when he would appear. I craved the pleasure and release he brought me. On nights he didn't come to my room, I felt lonely and rejected. But I was going crazy, only feeling a cock in my ass every time. I longed to be touched, kissed, caressed. I was starting to get desperate to feel Rick's cock somewhere else, anywhere else--in my hands, my mouth, or my poor neglected pussy.
I began to feel like I wasn't a person anymore, not even a body. I was just my ass. That was my entire use to Rick, and to Emily. I was a hole for Rick to put his cock in.
Deep down I knew I deserved this. This was my penance. I'd taken advantage of Emily that day by the pool, and then I'd behaved so obscenely with the stripper.
Was it such a bad penance, all things considered? When Rick fucked me, I would have the most tremendous orgasms. But sometimes he was too excited, he finished too quickly, and I was left frustrated. I would have to finish myself off after he left.
I was too scared to touch myself while Rick fucked me. I was afraid of what Emily would think if she caught me with my hand down there. Although she said she wasn't jealous, she seemed upset if I enjoyed myself too much. After that first night, I did my best to stifle my groans of pleasure so that she wouldn't hear.
But still Emily never seemed to trust Rick and I completely. She would randomly come into the room to check on us. She needed to check that we were following her rules--no touching, no kissing, no foreplay. We never knew on which nights she would appear. Each time, she would reach down between us to confirm that Rick was in my ass and not my pussy.
I wanted to pull her down onto the bed with us. I wanted her to kiss me and hold me while Rick used my ass.
But I was a coward. I was still so afraid of what she would think, even after all this time.
He can have my ass, Emily. I don't care. You have my heart.
I hadn't stopped looking for a job. Every day I dutifully sent out my resume. But I was starting to lose hope. It made me feel terrible, like there was something fundamentally wrong with me.
Of course no one will hire you
, I thought.
You already have the only job you're fit for. You're Rick's slut.
One night, Rick didn't leave immediately. He rolled off of me, but he stayed sitting on the edge of the bed. He had his head in his hands. I thought he was muttering to himself, and I strained to hear the words. It took me a moment to realize he was crying.
I didn't know what to do. I slowly put a hand on his shoulder and left it there. He didn't react. He stayed there sniffling for another minute, then stood up and went to the door.
He said something like, "I didn't want this, either." Then he left.
***
The next morning, I was folding laundry, and I noticed that Rick had left his bottle of lubricant on my nightstand. There was something obscene about seeing it there. He and I were doing this shameful thing together. But we did it at night. That's where it belonged. It shouldn't be out here, in the light of day, where anyone could see it.
I was still looking at it, thinking I should put it away, when Abigail came to my room.
"We need to talk," she said.
"OK," I said.
I was ready for her to say that our arrangement wasn't working any longer. I was relieved, mostly.
"It's about Rick," she said. "I think he's depressed. He's been completely down. I don't know if you've noticed."
"Last night he was crying," I said.
"Oh, no, that's absolutely awful," she said. "It's worse than I thought. We have to do something."
"What should we do?"
"I think the problem is our arrangement. He was having a lot of fun at first, but now it's just become routine."
"It's not working anymore," I said.
"Exactly. I'm so glad you agree."
"Maybe we should stop," I said.
"Well--let's not do anything drastic. At least not yet."
"What then?"
"Forgive me, Abigail. I don't want to sound mean. But you've been hanging around the house so much, and--you've kind of let yourself go. You don't ever dress up or do anything with your hair."
I felt defensive. But I knew she was right. When I had gotten up that morning, I'd just put on whatever was comfortable. I was wearing sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. I hadn't even brushed my hair, just tied it back in a messy bun.
I hadn't realized that my appearance had such a big impact. Was Rick was so turned off by me that I'd driven him to tears?
"Do you think it matters?" I asked. "I mean, he doesn't even look at me, really, when we're... you know."
She nodded. "It makes a big difference. He needs to get excited beforehand. He just needs that spark, you know? The spark comes from you. You need to feel good about yourself, and then Rick will feel it, too."
"I'm sorry," I said. "I'll make myself more presentable."
"Thank you, Abigail. But I think we need a little more than that."
"Like what?"
She leaned forward and lowered her voice. "Rick
loves
your body."
I swallowed.
"So..." she prompted.
"So... I should... show it off more?"
She gasped. "I
love
that idea!"
"But--you
want
him to look? I thought you said--you didn't want us to do any foreplay or anything." I was so confused.
"It's called teasing him, silly. He can look but he can't touch. It'll make you feel confident and sexy. You just need to wear something... let's see..."
She stood up and went to my closet. She started looking through the clothes hanging there.
"No... no... no," she said, swiping between the hangers. "I don't think any of these are right. I'll be right back."
She walked down the hall to her own bedroom. She was back a moment later.
"Here," she said. She handed me a dress. "I haven't worn this in a while. I think it will work."
I recognized it, a pink off-the-shoulder mini dress that I hadn't seen her wear in a long time.
"That's way too small for me," I said.
"Just try it."
I went to the bathroom to try it on. I took off my bra and hung it on the doorknob. It wasn't the kind of dress you wore with a bra.
I shimmied the dress over my head, wriggling to pull it down it over my ample hips. The fabric was elastic all over, but my curves stretched the poor dress to its limits. It did fit--just barely--but it was too short, too snug, and too revealing. If I pulled the bodice up high enough to contain my breasts, then it didn't cover my ass completely. But if I tugged it down to cover my ass, my tits threatened to burst out. It looked obscene.
"It looks great on you!" Emily said when I stepped out of the bathroom.
"I feel ridiculous," I said.
"You don't look ridiculous. You look beautiful."