Like most mornings, I was the first one awake.
By the time I heard Rick and Emily taking turns in the bathroom, I had brewed a pot of coffee, and the kitchen was filled with the wonderful smell of muffins baking in the oven.
Rick came downstairs first, dressed for work in a button shirt and khakis. I said good morning, and handed him his coffee. He tried to take a muffin.
"Don't touch!" I said. "They're for Emily's meeting."
I gave him a protein bar instead. He took his car key and left.
Then there was the sharp sound of Emily's heels coming down the stairs.
"Where the hell's my briefcase?" she called out.
"It's in here!" I called back.
Her heels turned and clicked across the hardwood floor towards the kitchen. She appeared in the doorway. The morning sun streaming through the window bathed her in glowing light. She looked sharp and stylish in her twill pencil skirt and blazer.
"Good morning!" I said.
Her eyes scanned the room for her briefcase.
"On the chair by the door," I said. "I also printed the sales forecast from the Chicago report for your meeting. There's enough copies in there for everyone."
She opened the briefcase to confirm her laptop was inside, too. I'd charged it and backed it up overnight, and it was ready to go.
"I also made muffins," I said. I gestured to the tupperware on the counter.
"You know we're out of oat milk," she said.
"Yep, it's on my list," I said. "I'll get groceries today. Also dropping off the dry cleaning. You look great, by the way. Really great."
She gave me a funny look. But her hair looked so perfect, and her skin was radiant. I wanted to take her in my arms. I wanted to bury my face in her neck and inhale her perfume.
But instead I handed her a travel mug full of coffee.
"Will you make sure they see that mark on my blouse?" she said. "Show it to them, OK? Don't just tell them."
"I'll make sure," I said.
"Oh, and Rick doesn't like the organic oat milk. He says it tastes weird. So be sure to get regular. When I get home I'll have the numbers from last quarter, and I'll need you to put them in a PowerPoint. We need to make them look a lot better than they are!"
"Sure," I said. "Listen, Emily--I just wanted to tell you again how grateful I am for letting me stay here."
"Hush," she said. "It's nothing."
"I'm looking for a job every day. I'll be back on my feet and out of your hair as soon as I can."
"You'll stay as long as you need to. I don't want to hear another word about it."
"And, you know, if there's ever any opportunities at your company, I'd love to work with you again. I thought we made a pretty good team. That thing that happened in Reno..." I faltered. "I'm sorry, that's all."
"Stop it," she said. "It's in the past. You got a little carried away."
I nodded, a lump in my throat. I changed the subject.
"Oh, for dinner tonight--I saw a pasta recipe online I wanted to try. Is that OK?"
She made a face. "Rick'll hate it," she said. "Fuck him. Sounds great."
She slung her briefcase over her shoulder, and picked up the tupperware with the muffins in it.
"You know, no one else brings muffins to the meetings," she said.
"Well--no one else has me as a friend," I said.
"That's true. Thanks, Abigail." Then she was out the door.
"Have a good day!" I called after her.
***
It had been six weeks since that trip to Reno. This wasn't the first time I'd apologized for my behavior at the strip club. And it probably wouldn't be the last. Whenever I thought of the way I'd acted with that stripper-- Penny--I just wanted to die--to just sink into the ground forever. I'd completely lost control. And with Emily right there! I didn't blame her for leaving me in that place. Who would want to stay and watch a display like that?
I had sworn Emily to secrecy, but what if she told Rick or one of her other friends? I'd spent more than one night tossing and turning, thinking,
Everyone knows! Everyone's laughing at you!
But Emily wouldn't do that. She'd been so kind. I didn't deserve her.
Shortly after that trip, I had to face facts. I couldn't afford my apartment anymore. I was still between jobs, and all my prospects seemed to have evaporated.
I knew I had to tell Emily, but I was so embarrassed. I felt like I'd lost control of my life, and I didn't even know how it had happened, really.
"You can stay in our guest room," she'd said, without hesitation. "Rick and I have plenty of space."
"Are you sure? I can pay--"
"Nonsense," she cut me off. "Just help out around the house a little. That will be more than enough."
And I was happy to help, I really was!
I had just dropped off the dry cleaning and now I was buying groceries. I wheeled the cart down the aisle, scanning the shelves for the beer Rick liked.
When I got home I would vacuum, mop, and clean the pool. I loved that I could contribute in this way.
I was determined to show Emily that she could rely on me. I knew her job was demanding, so in addition to everything else, I had started cooking for her and Rick most nights, and I also helped her with whatever work she brought home.
I didn't know how I could ever get back to where we'd been that night, before we'd gone to that awful strip club. If only we'd never gone there! Everything had been going so well! I'd been on the brink of telling her how I felt about her, how I'd truly felt for years, but in one moment of weakness I'd ruined it all.
I still dreamed of telling her how I felt. My feelings for her were just as strong as they'd been that night--stronger even.
I was going to bide my time. I knew the day would come when she would finally break up with Rick. They had been together for years, they owned a house together, and yet they still hadn't gotten married. That had to mean something, didn't it? Emily wasn't ready to commit to him. She was still waiting for the right person to come along. And maybe that person had been right in front of her the whole time. When the day came, there I'd be.
I'd be her shoulder to cry on. I'd console her, comfort her.
Then I'd take her face in my hands, and say,
Who needs men, anyway?
I was standing there in the beer aisle, lost in thought--imagining Emily's head on my shoulder, Emily's lips on mine, Emily sitting on my lap, kissing my neck--when a familiar voice penetrated my reverie.
"Abigail?"
My heart squeezed like a clenched fist.
Penny?
I don't know why that was my first thought. It made no sense. Penny wasn't here. She was in Reno.
I turned to look, and saw Darcy Bryce-Clemens, of all people, her blonde curls cascading over her shoulders, just the same as ever.
"Abigail! I thought that was you!"
"Oh, my god, Darcy! How are you?" Darcy had gone to college with Emily and me. We were never friends, not exactly, but she had also been a communications major, so we saw a lot of each other. After college we had stayed in touch for a while, but it had been years since I'd last seen her.
"I'm good!" she said. "Really good. I can't believe it's been so long. How have you been? Can I hug you? I feel like I have to hug you."
Without waiting for a response, she enveloped me in her arms and pulled me close.
"Wow, I can't believe it's you! What are you doing these days?"
"I work in non-profit," she said. "How about you?"
"My last job I was an office assistant. But I'm actually between things at the moment. I lost my job, and, well, I'm looking."
"I'm so sorry. But don't worry, you'll find something soon, I'm sure of it. I'll let you know if I hear anything."
"That would be great. I can do copywriting, editing, I'm good with numbers. I'm also weirdly really good at PowerPoint."
"Oh, my god," she said. "I just thought of something. It's perfect for you! I have a friend who has his own business. He's looking for someone to help him manage it--just on a day to day, nuts and bolts level."
"Sounds great," I said.
"Get this--he
specifically
mentioned he needed someone who does PowerPoint!"
"Wow, that's perfect!" I said. "Do you mind giving me his info? I'll reach out to him right away."
