It had just started to snow when I walked out the door. I wanted to be alone for awhile and think about things. I lived out in the country so the roads were empty except for the occasional stray cat, so I walked along the driveway to the main road, which didnât seem to take very long. The wind outside was a tad bit on the cold side, and chilled me to the bone. I wouldnât normally walk alone by myself at night but tonight I just had to. Today I had run into an old flame of mine and the fire was still there. Actually to me it seemed to burn brighter then ever before. I had wanted to tell him everything that I never could, but the words just stuck in my throat and the moment died.
It was good to see him again, and I just couldnât stop thinking about him. I remembered the way he held me so close to him way back then. He had this unusual way of rocking me like I was a small child. I felt so safe then at that time.
I was rather young and very confused about life back then. So when I found out that life wasnât as perfect as I had thought it was, I ran from it. I had found the safest way away from my feelings that I could. I found someone who made me safe right then with no worries about the future or his feelings for me. Rousing from my musings, I noticed that I no longer could see the lights of my house. The wind had picked up just enough that it began to sting my eyes making them tear up. Which to my way of thinking fit my mood perfectly, looking around me again wanting to find some place warmer then in the cold but not wanting to go home just yet, I noticed a cabin set off to the side of the road. Knocking on the door which hung onto its hinges with a stubbornness to which anyone would respect, I poked my head in and asked in a soft tone of voice, âHello anyone home?â
Getting no response I pushed the door a little more ajar and stepped into the interior of what looked to be a very empty room. There was no furniture to speak of in the room, but there was a fireplace along one wall still setup for a fire, nothing else remained. Taking the lighter from my pocket I stepped over to the fireplace thinking to start a small fire to warm myself all the while wondering what I was going to do if the owners came home soon. A few minutes later I had a warm fire blazing in the old place. I then decided to check out the rest of the cabin hoping to find maybe an old blanket but to no avail.
Nothing remained of the occupants except a few broken pieces of furniture. Grabbing a few armloads of wood I headed back to the fireplace deciding to warm up a bit. As I sat down on the hard wood floor I started thinking again of today and of him. He had been the love of my life for awhile and seeing him today just made me realize that no matter how much time had passed I was still very much in love with him. I could still close my eyes and breathe in his smell and feel his arms, his kisses and that slow rocking of his. I had missed him so much and yet I still was unable to tell him the truth of the situation. I wanted to tell him of all the lonely nights and of the void that had taken his place when he had closed that door so long ago and walked away.
I hadnât noticed the time when I had left or even remembered to wear my watch, so time to me wasnât a thing to contend with at that moment. I didnât even stop to think that someone might be out there in the cold looking for me. All I could think about was his arms holding me, comforting me, making me safe. His touch was so soft it was like having silk run softly over my whole body.
Sending shivers of pleasure down my spine, knotting my stomach with a need not unknown to most women. His hands always seemed to know where to touch to give me pleasure. At the same time nuzzling my neck and whispering sweet nothings to me. Making me want to throw back my head and sing to the heavens with his touch and glorious words of love.
Wrapping my coat a little snugger around me for the warmth, I tossed another piece of wood on the fire. Wishing for the entire world that he was there right then, but still unsure what I would do if he were. With this thought a soft voice whispered in the wind, âYour wish is grantedâ. I looked around to see if I was just hearing things in my musings. Not knowing who or what would be out on this type of night but me. Thinking that my mind was probably just cold and playing tricks on me, I looked outside to see how badly the weather had picked up. As far as my eyes could see there was white. Like a giant mystical blanket had been placed upon the land, wherever my eyes searched there was white and nothing else.
Closing the door I decided to just stay put where I was until the snow had ended. I could see no reason why I should leave and head for home just to get lost in the cold. Sitting back down in front of the fire I closed my eyes thinking, if only for a moment. After all it had been a long hard day and with the cold I was tired. Before long I had nodded off to sleep with dreams of him dancing around in my thoughts. Taking me back to a time where he was there making even the most regular thing as a sunset look more radiant then ever before.
I was sitting on a bench looking out over a lake watching the sun go down with him. We had just finished eating a cold chicken dinner that he had brought with us. Looking into his eyes I could remember seeing all the love that I had wanted but had never seen until it was too late. It was like I was given a second chance to make things right. I remembered the night so well it had been a beautiful night until we had decided that we were not being fair to each other. So we had walked away from each other without a backward glance at what had been offered. I didnât know if I could relive this nightmare, but with a determination born of desperation I began the night again only this time making subtle changes in the way we held hands and touched. I felt his hands so soft and gentle holding me in his arms.
I had begun letting my hands roam freely over his body first on the outside of his clothing and then slowly beginning a sensual exploration into the front of his shirt. Running the tips of my fingers along teasing the hairs on his chest and across to his nipple. Hearing his shuddering intake of breath encouraged me to continue my exploration. Using the tip of my tongue to run it along his jaw line, nipping ever so gently enjoying his flavor.