You know how sometimes you're sitting around fantasizing about dumb shit you think would make your life better like winning the lottery or being the world's greatest lover? Of course, you do, we all have. But have you really considered what it would look like? What would it REALLY be like to have all of your dreams come true?
There's no genie in the story and I have no explanation for how it happened to me, but I got my three wishes... five actually. At least I think it was five. Fuck, I don't even know. It doesn't matter. Whatever it was, it nearly killed me.
"I feel like your dick got bigger."
"What?" I choked, spewing half of a mouthful of oatmeal across the table.
Nikki stared at me in earnest from behind her cup of coffee across the kitchen.
"Yeah. It's weird. You really hurt me this morning. We've been fucking for what, three months? Remember that time at Bret's party, in his room? You fucked the shit out of me and it didn't hurt like this morning. You didn't feel yourself bottoming out?"
"Yeah, I guess, but I've bottomed out before."
"No, no you haven't."
That's how it started. My little fuck buddy Nikki said my dick got bigger. I rolled my eyes at the time, but her suspicions were confirmed a few weeks later.
It had been a little more than a year since we had broken up when I ran into my ex-fiancé, Kim. She damn near bowled me over coming out of a shop as I made my way down the sidewalk to the dry cleaners. Man, she looked good. To my dismay her petite little body was still fucking rockin' under her skin tight grey yoga pants and lime green sports bra. Fresh from the gym grabbing a smoothie, her face lit up and her jet-black pony tail swayed as she greeted me. Her olive-toned skin glistened against her pure white smile as she spoke and despite the stale slickness of dried sweat on her face, without a drop of make-up, she was still perfect.
"Jacob fucking Stansell. How in the hell are you?"
"Oh shit, hey Kim. I've been good, how about you?"
"Can't complain. What are you out here getting into?"
"Just picking up some shirts from the cleaners."
"I thought you moved to Lake Park?"
"I did. I'm back over here now. Traffic on that side of town was a nightmare and all my friends are still over here. So, when my lease came up, I decided to move back here."
"Oh, I thought you wanted to be closer to me" she smiled.
"Let's not do that."
"Sorry, I know. Bad joke. I know it didn't end well, and I don't want you to get the wrong idea, but I do miss you."
I took a deep breath, sighing loudly.
Her face sank. "No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's not fair."
"It's fine. Honestly, you were right. It wasn't going to work. We don't want the same things. I'm over it. I mean, I do miss you too, but I know it's what's right for both of us."
"Ugh, heavy conversation for a Saturday afternoon in front of Planet fucking Smoothie."
"Ok, well, I'll let you go. You take care of yourself."
"Yeah, ok. Take care."
I felt her staring as I walked away, my yearlong heartbreak fading as I realized my words weren't totally hollow. I actually was over her. She really was right. Outside of sex and partying, we were incompatible. We wanted none of the same things with our lives, our future, and were better off friends -- at best. Resisting the urge to look back, I made my way to the cleaners.
Ten minutes later I'm back to my car and there's a text message from Kim, "if its not too weird can we be friends?"
Nodding to myself, I sent a thumbs-up emoji and made my way out of the parking lot. A smiley face in return and I just figured that'd be the end of it. Neither one of us wanted to rekindle anything, the past was the past and all that. But a few minutes later she was asking me if I wanted to grab a drink later -- "no pressure no heavy shit just friends." I agreed and she told me to meet her at a little hole in the wall bar called, Red's. A few hours later I was questioning the decision as I made my way to the bar where she was sitting alone, looking absolutely gorgeous.
We spent a couple of hours catching up over a few beers filling each other in on our lives since the breakup. It was nice, friendly, and steered away from dangerous territory. As the hours ticked past, the beers were flowing, and the danger level increased. Loosening up, she made a confession, "I haven't had sex since we broke up."
My heart raced with excitement. There was only one reason she would tell me that and I really, really missed fucking her. We were perfect together. My average cock fit her miniscule pussy in every way and right from the get go we knew exactly how to get each other off. I held my tongue about the half dozen or so women I had been with in that time and played it as cool as I could. Another couple of drinks later and I'm texting Nikki and telling her not to come over later and Kim's following me to my apartment.
We were hot and heavy before I even had the key in the door. She was wrapped completely around my body as I carried her in the door, kicking it shut as I smashed her against the wall, our tongues furiously spinning around deep in each other's mouths. I carried her back to my room, dumping her onto the bed, falling directly on top of her. In a flurry of zippers, buttons, flinging cloth and flying shoes, we rolled around on the bed aggressively enjoying the new feel of an old touch.
She pushed me off of her, gripped my cock and licked my nipple, staring into my eyes. Her brow furrowed at first, then relaxed back into our passion. Kissing down my body my cock strained with anticipation. She licked up my shaft, took the head into her mouth, and sucked as she twisted with her hand. A few slurps and several seconds later, she popped straight up.
"Uh, dude. Your dick is way fucking bigger than I remember."
I laughed, not yet thinking of Nikki's comment over breakfast, "I bet you say that to all your ex-fiancé's."
Any bit of passion in her faded, "No Jake, I'm fucking serious. Did you do something?"
"Do something?"
"Yeah, like a pump or something. I don't know how that shit works."
"I'm pretty sure none of that shit works. Are you just having second thoughts?"
"No, not at all. Sorry, I didn't want to ruin the mood, but this is fucking crazy. Your dick is way thicker. It's longer. I swear to god, it's a lot bigger. We were together for two and a half years. I know your dick. Am I fucking going crazy?"
"I don't know, just seems like my dick. Like it's always been."
I grabbed my softening cock from her hand and began tugging on it, my stomach immediately churning with nerves. It was different. It felt different. Like my dick, but different. As the blood returned and filled my member, I slowly stroked, noticing just how much bigger it was. With Nikki and I fucking every day, I hadn't jerked off in at least a month. I hadn't noticed. It felt crazy big in my hand. Longer, fatter, like it wasn't even mine. Very strange.
