"Well, little one," Vicky said rubbing her belly, "It's you and me now; we're in this together."
For the first time in a long time, perhaps ever, Vicky had no job to be at, no school assignments; no parents to please. She was free to live her life on her own terms, and for the new life growing inside her. The problem was, of course, the life she wanted desperately for both of them would always be out of her grasp now.
Despite the situation, Vicky was so happy to be pregnant, more than she ever thought she'd be. She wanted to be a good mother, to not repeat the mistakes of her parents. But she was sure they said that as well when she was born, and then they went on to not only repeat mistakes, but to make new devastating ones.
The little voice in Vicky's head constantly whispered to her that she already made a big mistake, one that wasn't too late to fix, at least yet. But she ignored it; it WAS too late, and anyway it wasn't a mistake. She had to let Joe go, it was the only thing she could do.
The only event on her schedule this week was her follow-up appointment at the doctor, and her first ultrasound. Emma was going with her; along with Rebecca she was the only one currently aware that Vicky was pregnant. Vicky was going to need them, because she realized she couldn't rely on anyone else.
Her parents were out, for obvious reasons. They would find out at some point, obviously, but she no longer wanted them in her life. They may have helped ruin her happiness, but they were never going to be put in the position to do the same to her own child.
She desperately wanted to tell Ken and Annie; she considered them her family now. But she couldn't, because they would tell Joe, and she knew what would happen then. Sadly, Vicky also realized they would hate her as much as Joe would when they finally found out. But it was the price she had to pay for all of them, and for Joe's success.
Joe, she sighed audibly, he was always at the forefront of her thoughts. She knew his 3 month orientation in New York was ending this week, and he would be flying off to London right after that. He was probably home right now at that beautiful little house in Elmwood Park, packing his things. So many times in the last three months she pulled up his number on her phone and placed her finger on the speed dial number. Thousands of times maybe, she figured, especially since learning she was pregnant.
She knew those were the only words that needed to come out of her mouth to get him to stay. Before she even finished the sentence he would be on his way back here, to be with her. And he would no doubt say all the right things; that it wasn't just the baby, that he loved her and wanted to be with her, that no job mattered more than her. After all, he had said the last two plenty of times to her even as she was convincing him to leave.
But despite that, Vicky would never be able to shake the doubt in her own mind that he was really staying only for the baby, that otherwise he would be living his life in London and getting ready to do the great things she knew he was destined for. She would never be able to shake the feeling she trapped him, and eventually she feared he would feel the same way. Then she truly would lose him forever, and she couldn't bear that.
And sometimes she wondered if maybe that was her plan all along, to trap him. She still couldn't quite figure out how she hadn't realized she wasn't safe that fateful weekend, when Joe came back and begged her to ask him to stay, when they made love that one final time.
She was in a mental fog, desperately unhappy and devastated that Joe was gone. But maybe a part of her understood this was a way to get him to stay. Just another reason why she couldn't tell him, she lamented.
But she had to let all this go, at least a little bit, and focus on the baby. That was her #1 priority, and she attacked it like only Vicky Mullen could; it honestly was the only thing that made her get out of bed at the present moment.
She purchased all the first time mother help books she could find and downloaded them to her Kindle. She was sitting in her kitchen reading one when she heard the doorbell ring. Her heart skipped a beat, for every time it did it held the promise that it was Joe on the other side of the door.
But of course, it wasn't Joe ringing the bell. In fact, it was her worst nightmare, she realized as she opened the door; on the other side stood her father.
"Father," Vicky intoned with little emotion. "What do you want?"
"I want to know what the hell you are doing, young lady?" Henry started. "Your firm called me; you turned down the full partnership and resigned? Have you gone mad?"
"No, I'm finally thinking clearly," she replied. "I hated that job; I always did and now I'm free of it." She moved to close the door on her father, but he stopped her.
"Don't you dare close the door on me!" he yelled, forcing his way inside her apartment. "After everything we've done for you, all our planning, you just throw it all away in a moment?"
"Yes, Dad, I did," she yelled back. "Because that's just it, it was your planning, yours and mothers, not mine. I didn't want this life, I never wanted it. And since you ruined the life I wanted, I decided I no longer had any interest in playing your game."
"Don't be dramatic, Victoria," Henry angrily said. "I didn't ruin your life, or his; I only did what was best for both of you."
"At least you're finally admitting it," Vicky sneered at her father. "And the fact that you think you actually helped us only makes me more angry!"
"You both were living in a fantasy, I just forced you both to live in reality," her father sighed. "But I should have known you quitting was all about him. What, he put you up to this? Or you think he'll come back to you if he finds out you gave up the job he hated?"
"No, as always you're wrong about him," she shot back. "You don't understand him, you never have and you never will. He only wanted me to be happy with my job. If I was, he would have always supported me even if he didn't like what I did."
"No, now you're just living your life for him, the way you accuse us of trying to get you to do what we want," her father spat out. "So he's no better than us."
"Joe is nothing like you," Vicky retorted. "He's wonderful, caring, he loves me."
"And we don't?" her father questioned.
"No, not unless I'm doing what you want," Vicky replied. "Well I'm telling you dear old dad, I'm done....with that life, and with both of you."
"You have one more chance, Victoria," her father said as calmly as he could manage. "The other partners are giving you one last chance to change your mind, out of respect to me. There's still time to change this."
"No thanks, my decision is final," Vicky said. "You can go now; have a great life with mother. I don't want to see you either of you again."
"So that's it, we're just cut out of your life?" Henry said. "What are you going to do, run to London and chase that boy?"
"No, I can't," she said sadly. "I can't leave now. And he has to take that job; it's the only thing you were right about. You may not believe in him, but I do and clearly his firm does. He's going to change the world."
