(Revised 11/11/2022)
Will didn't write this one, I (Devo) did, so please go easy on me!
This story was inspired, in part, by a tale a former roommate ages ago once told me. I only adapted it to modern times since her story happened two decades ago.
The timeline of the story-telling changes, but I don't think it should be too confusing.
The second chapter of this story makes a few mentions of things which occur in a lunar rhythm. When you come to a line marked:
+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
you can choose to skip to the next identical marking if such subject matter bothers you. That will skip you past the majority (but not the entirety) of their mention. It's a completely normal part of life.
By the way, Will and I both love comments. Please add yours.
Finally, for a little fun: Both of us place "Easter eggs" in our stories which, in certain ways, stitch them together. If you think you've found one, comment on what you found.
Thanks for reading,
When Ordinary Isn't
"No way."
"Yes way."
"You've got to be kidding me, woman. There is absolutely no freaking
way
. I simply
can't
believe you, little Miss Prissy, did something like that." Stephanie Moore stared in disbelief, shaking her head slowly as the three ladies took their seats on the patio of their favorite bistro during their lunch break.
"I know! It's crazy, right? I lost my mind. I went nuts, okay?" Margaret "Peggy" Foreman said.
"If it's true, you'd better bet your tiny ass you did!" Nina Parnell chuckled.
"Can it
, Nina," Peggy objected. "I don't know why you're judging me considering the weekend you spent with, what'd you call him? Brazilian Dude?"
"Yeah, so what?" Nina scoffed. "He was the first man I ever met who'd had a Brazilian."
The other two laughed.
"But, you know what?" Peggy said.
"What?" both of her friends asked in unison.
"It was the most incredible time I've experienced in ages." Peggy smiled wistfully.
"Oh, really?" Stephanie said, elongating the syllables.
"Beyond any doubt," Peggy answered.
"What was his name again?" Nina asked.
"What do you mean,
again
? I never mentioned his name."
"Okay, fine," Nina said with an exasperated sigh. "What was his name?"
Peggy paused awkwardly, trying to figure out a way to deflect. "Not important."
"Oh. My. God!" Stephanie said.
Nina looked at Stephanie curiously.
"Oh, my
god
!" Nina repeated. "You don't know his name!"
Both women laughed when Peggy blushed a little.
"No, I don't. Well, I know his first name, but who cares? He doesn't know my last name, either. He knows as much about me as I know about him. It was so anonymous. It was so... holy
hell
it was just incredible." She grinned.
"You have to start from the beginning," Nina demanded.
"Okay, fine," Peggy said as she began to collect her thoughts. "It was a dark and stormy night--"
"Oh, come on," Nina barked. "This isn't a Bulwer Lytton contest entry, is it?"
"See what I did there?" Peggy chuckled. "But it really
was
. Remember the Monday a few weeks back?"
"Okay, yeah, it was dark and stormy," Nina agreed. "Where's our waiter? I'm dying to hear this."
The three women were on staff at the same hospital in Orlando, Florida. Peggy and Nina attended medical school together and developed a friendship they'd maintained for more than a decade. Stephanie met them during their residencies. The three had been inseparable since.
Nina was quite striking. Though her tetchy demeanor had deterred many, her current gentleman suitor had seen through her gruff affectations to her compassionate and witty true self. She ordered her usual Cobb salad with honey mustard dressing on the side.
Stephanie ordered the signature BLT with kettle chips. Not because she was particularly fond of it, but she chose to select whatever was next on the menu after what she'd ordered at her prior visit.
Margaret chose the fried chicken sandwich with coleslaw and french fries. At just shy of six feet tall and one hundred twenty pounds, she tried to gain weight to amplify her diminutive proportions. She chose to ignore the fact her slight, less than hourglass-like curves, were entirely genetic.
"So, anyway, I'd just gotten off shift, and I had to go to the twenty-four hour pharmacy to get a prescription refilled. When I got there, the line for the drive-up window was damn-near wrapped around the building. I guess people didn't want to get out of their cars in the rain.
"I decided I didn't want to wait in that line, so I parked, went inside, and barely got wet on the way in. I was thinking all those other folks were wimps.
"Well, the line at the counter wasn't much better. There had to have been at least twenty people waiting around. I guess that's a typical Monday night, right? Doctors' offices are crammed after the weekend, and all those prescriptions have to be filled somewhere.
"Anyway, I got in line. They've only got three or four people in the back, furiously counting pills and filling bottles, and only one person manning the register and doing prescription intake and also working the drive-up window. The doofus was as slow as cold molasses.
"So, I see this guy--"
"Nameless guy?" Nina interrupted.
"Yeah.
Last
-nameless guy. I see him sitting in one of the chairs against the wall. I mean, I'll just say he caught my attention, but I didn't want to stare. After a few minutes, I notice
him
staring at me. He's got this odd, nervous expression. I mean, he's not like
overtly
staring. He's more like... glancing at me. But not at my face.
"The dude is checking out my butt, I'm thinking, and I'm totally cool if he wants to check me out because I'd be checking his out if he were standing in front of me, you know what I mean?" Peggy smiled mischievously, wagging her eyebrows.
"I'd been standing there for maybe ten minutes, checking Instagram on my phone, and he taps me on my shoulder and holds up his jacket. I'm thinking, 'What the hell?' and he says, 'You can borrow this if you want.'
"I'm standing there looking at him. All I said was, 'Uh, no, thank you, I'm not cold.'
"I didn't know whether to burst out laughing or what. I mean, who does that? I'm thinking, if this is some sort of pick-up line, it needs a little work.
"Don't get me wrong. Any other time and place, a good line from a guy like that would have probably worked by itself, because he was a hunk. Total hottie
hot
guy. Like six-one and one-eighty and a rocking hot body. He's wearing this like almost skin-tight plain white tee-shirt, and he's
very
nicely built. But, like I said, he's just giving off this nervous vibe. Hotties like those aren't supposed to act nervous when trying to chat up a woman, right?
"He just stands there and says kind of quietly, 'Sorry, that's not what I meant. If you need something to tie around your waist, you can use my jacket if you want.'
"I asked him why because I was clueless what he was talking about.
"He says, like
really
quietly, 'I'm guessing from your scrubs you're a doctor or a nurse or something,' and he kinda leans in close to me a little bit and whispers, 'I don't think the blood on your pants came from your job' and he kinda looks around to see if anyone overheard him."
"Oops," Stephanie said.
"Yeah. Exactly."
"You got your period standing in a line?" Nina laughed. "Been there, done that."
"No, it started while I was in my car. It came a couple of days early so I wasn't exactly prepared. I had no idea it had come on so fast and furious until the guy said what he said.
"I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I took his coat from him. Then he said 'I'll hold your place in line.'
"I didn't even say anything! I just stepped out of the queue and went off into a corner and tied his jacket around me and grabbed some pads off the shelf, paid for them at the front register, ran out to my car and took one and threw the rest in the back seat, then went back in and took care of things in the restroom. The rain had picked up by that point so I got a bit more soaked.
"This guy had eyes like an eagle or something. It was just a small spot. Maybe the size of a quarter. I guess it was in the perfect place that he could see it from where he was sitting. You know how it is, right at the nook of the thighs?
"So there I am, standing in the restroom. I'm trying to figure out if I can run out the service door without setting off an alarm and just leave his coat on the floor or take it to a clerk or something. I couldn't decide whether I was embarrassed or not.
"I mean,
Jiminy Cricket
! When was the last time some random man told either of you your period was visible?"
Stephanie laughed.
"Before
never
?" Nina laughed, too.
"So what'd you do?" Stephanie asked then sipped her iced tea.
"There wasn't anything I
could
do. I've got this incredibly hot guy's incredibly nice-smelling hoodie strapped around my waist so it's covering my butt. My scrubs are stained, and my undies are a lost cause because I've got a thong trying to hold up a pad.
"I know, I wasn't thinking straight getting pads instead of tampons, and I figure I have like a timer going. I've got maybe thirty minutes until it all went to hell again."
"Stop it, Peg. What did you do?" Stephanie repeated herself.
"I went back."
"Only two customers have checked out," he said. "Are you okay?"
He was an incredibly handsome man, she thought, and reckoned he was a few years younger than herself, very early thirties, perhaps. He was maybe an inch or two taller than her.
"Well, considering I've been horribly embarrassed, yeah, I guess I am," she said.
"I'm sorry," he said, looking away from her. "That was the last thing I wanted to do. I didn't mean to embarrass you."
"Oh, sure. How else does one say such a thing?"
"Hey. As far as I'm concerned, it's no different than if you'd told me I have a little visitor in my nose," he said and rubbed the inside edge of one of his nostrils.
He made her laugh. "Yeah! Like that would have been
so
much better!"
The man disarmed her. He wasn't classically charming, but he
was
charming. Peggy found it difficult to conjure a single word to describe his nature. He was the antithesis of off-putting, but
on-putting
didn't seem like a real word to her. She thought of him as... natural. Real. Present, yet noticeably on edge. His nervousness made him seem vulnerable.
Perfection
was one word which bounced in her head a few times.
"Really. I'm truly sorry to have upset you, but I didn't know if you knew. I just... Hell, I don't know. Sorry."
Peggy watched an extraordinarily handsome man fidget. His affectations gave him the appearance of an addled boy. She observed him for quite a few moments.
