Author's Note: The following story is how online fantasy role-playing became a real-life romance. Please be advised that if you are looking for copious amounts of raunchy sex, you will be sorely disappointed and should stop now. What sex there is comes at the very end of this tale and is more like seasoning to enhance the main entrΓ©e. If you do follow this rather strange love story to the end, I sincerely hope you enjoy the telling. Positive comments and suggestions are always welcomed.
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"Who the hell is ringing my fucking doorbell!"
"Jimmy!" blurted an obviously upset Ali who rushed in as soon as I opened my front door. "Sorry to wake you...but...I need to talk to someone. Can we talk?"
"Alia Cummings, what the hell? Do you realize it's almost midnight!"
"Jimmy, you did tell me that I could talk to you at 'anytime.' Isn't that what you said?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. My decrepit mind does recall saying something like that. Okay, I'm up already...I mean...what does a retired cop like me need a good night's sleep? Come on in. While you make yourself comfortable, excuse me while this old geezer empties his fricking bladder...enlarged prostate, you know. I'll be just a moment, Ali."
Moments later I when I joined her on the couch, Ali giggled, "That was an awful long tinkle."
"Hey, for an old Chinese fart like me pissing in spurts and it takes longer. However, at my age, an empty bladder is an appreciated 'ahhh.' But, enough dilly-dallying as us old folks would put it. What's up, my distressed young friend?"
"It's my asshole ex-boyfriend, Hunter..."
"'Ex'? What happened between the two of you now?"
"I've had it with Hunter! I couldn't take it any longer, Jimmy! God, do you know what it's like to put in a full day of working at the rehab center and to come home to find that your piss-poor janitor of a boyfriend didn't go to his interview for a high-paying security job...is shit-ass drunk...and only wants to shove his dick into me before I can set my purse down?"
"Well, Ali, now that you asked...I'm retired so I wouldn't know what it is to show up for interviews...and haven't tied one on in a long time...and can't even remember when was the last time I had sex...especially with a cutie like you. Sheesh! How sad."
"Jimmy! You're supposed to be helping me...not making fun of me! What am I going to do about that dickhead Hunter?"
"Ali, my cute brown-eyed lovely, do you really want my sage advice even if you don't want to hear it, or do you want me to 'blow smoke up your ass' and tell you what you want to hear even if it's untrue? Also, if I am truthful with you, will you be the same as me?"
The toothy grin and sparkling eyes that had drawn me to Alia were now clouded with doubt and uncertainty as to how to answer. Finally, Ali sighed and mumbled, "Give me your honest opinion, Jimmy. That's why I came here. You've always been straight with me and I know I can count on you. However, if you give me a glass of white wine, it might help to settle me down and let me talk more freely. Please, Jimmy."
I poured some wine for us and settled myself next to Ali. "Okay, my sweet twenty-seven-yea-old millennial...god, I feel so damn ancient next to you...how depressing...aah, but I digress. Ali, before I can help you resolve a problem, I need to know how it came to be. Now, as I understand it, you and Hunter met when you were in high school, right? But you didn't date...or for that matter, hang out. You were just friends."
"Yeah, Hunter was kind of tall geeky guy who always hung back in the shadows, trying hard not to draw attention to himself. While I wasn't as popular as our class leaders, cheerleaders, or athletes, I was well-known since I was friendly with everyone. Because Hunter was a bit of a loner, I made it a point to smile and say 'hi' to him, but beyond that, we were more acquaintances than friends."
"Okay, from what you've told me, the two of you met in an online role-playing fantasy game years after graduation, and that, your gaming persona...what's that...oh yeah, your 'avatars' teamed with each other on various adventures. I remember telling me that Hunter's avatar was a brutish giant orc warrior and yours was an attractive and rather-buxom Amazon swordswoman. Am I right?"
"Yeah, that's basically it. Hunter's 'Guluk the Ravisher' was so different from the guy I knew. In the game, his character was brash and rather obnoxious...not the meek guy I had known in high school. His orc was a real asshole to women players and especially to my avatar, Luella. Hunter's orc was always making gross sexist comments about my character's boobs and butt, and what he wanted to do to me if he ever got the chance. I guess online role-playing allows people to express their hidden sides but I would never have guessed that Guluk was Hunter's."
"Was your Amazon warrior the hidden side of you, Ali?"
The silence on the other end of the call was deafening. "I don't know what you are trying to get at, Jimmy?"
"Come, Ali, be straight with me...and especially with yourself. Look, I find you to be cute and friendly as in the modest girl-next-door mode. You, however, are definitely not a sexy scanty-clad Amazon. I'm curious as to why you chose to role-play your particular character.
"Errr...well...okay...I admit it. Luella enabled me to be someone whom I wasn't and would have never dared to be. While playing her, I was...feisty...outspoken and...although this may sound sick...sexually provocative. In real life, I would never flaunt myself...not that I have much to flaunt...and while I'm friendly, I don't tempt or flirt with the online male avatars as Luella does. Jimmy, how is this supposed to help me split from Hunter, the horny bastard?"