Whatsamatta You?

"Kid, get in the car." Danny said as he looked at me through the lowered passengers side window. He was driving the big black SUV.

I gave him a look, questioning if he meant me, since I was walking down the sidewalk on my way back to work from lunch.

"Yeah, you." Danny said, giving me an irritated look. "Jimmy Palmiore! Get in the car."

I looked around again, wondering who else was here. If Danny was here for me, it wasn't a good sign.

"Kid. Last time." Danny said, almost snarling, even though his face only showed the same amount of irritation it had before. Danny always looked irritated. It was his resting face. "Get in the fuckin' car."

It didn't look like Danny had any other vehicles behind him, as he idled in traffic.

I hesitantly walked over, opened the door, and was three-quarters of the way into the seat when Danny hit the gas. I just got my leg in as the big SUV door slammed shut from the acceleration.

Danny was looking ahead, then glancing in his mirrors, as he moved through traffic. I was watching him, knowing his reputation. Danny coming for you was never good.

*bing*bing*bing*bing*

"Buckle up," Danny growled at me. Which was his normal mode of talking. "It's for yer safety."

I buckled up.

We drove in silence for a while, before I worked up the nerve.

"Where are we going?" I asked, my eyes trained ahead, afraid of the answer.

"Martinelli's" Danny said. "I want a steak. You do too."

I couldn't help it, I sighed. If he'd said "the pine barrens," I knew I'd have been a dead man.

"Heh" Danny chuckled, seeing me relax a little. "It ain't over yet, kid."

++++++

"Gimmie the quiet booth." Danny told the manager when we got inside Martinelli's.

With a polite nod, we were led to a circular booth, with a little more distance between it and the other tables. It was the largest booth in the entire restaurant, and reserved for a certain clientele of people. No civilians allowed.

Danny was making his second or third scan of who else was in the restaurant as I slid in. He motioned to the manager, who was standing beside him, and said something into his ear that I couldn't make out.

The manager nodded, and moved off.

"Move over, I sit there." Danny said, looking at me. I moved over.

Danny sat, and from where he was sitting, and how he then scanned things a fourth time, I could tell that was where he had the best view of the floor. Of course he'd want that.

"Order anythin' ya like, kid." Danny said, picking up the menu. "Yer buyin'."

I'd already eaten, so I just got a salad. Danny ordered the $40 steak, with the $8 beer.

"Kid, don'tcha think ya aughtta let yer boss know ya ain't comin' back today?" Danny said after we ordered.

"Uhm, yeah." I agreed. "Okay."

"Kid, relax." Danny said. "We're jus' gonna talk."

"What're we going to talk about?" I asked.

"After we eat." Danny said. "Full stomach, don'cha know."

++++++

"Right." Danny said, letting his knife and fork come to rest on his mostly empty plate. The man could eat. He could also look like he was ready to stomp on babies while he ate. "You ready to talk, kid?"

I'd just been picking at my salad, not hungry, and too nervous to eat. "Sure."

"Ok, here's what's what," Danny said, crossing his arms and leaning in toward me a little. "You're fuckin' up."

I just stared back at the big man. There had to be more to this.

"You don' know what I'm talkin' about, do ya?" Danny observed.

"I could use a hint," I said.

"Ok, I'll give ya a hint then." He said, an eyebrow arching as he leaned in a bit closer. The eyebrow looked like it could jump off his forehead and stab me if Danny wanted it to. "Stop talkin' ta the blond with the big yabos at lunch."

I blinked a couple of times. "You mean Melissa?"

"Yeah, her." He nodded. "With the balcony that goes out ta here." Danny made a clutching motion in front of his chest.

NOW I had an idea of what this was about.

"Danny, I haven't done anything." I explained, looking a little pleading. "She's just at the deli now and then, we work at the same place, so we sit and talk."

"An' you gotta stop doin' that." Danny said, nodding without taking his eyes off me. "Today was th' last day."

"I'm not doing anything!" I protested quietly. "I'm not going to cheat on Gina!"

"Heyyy, I'm not sayin' you would or wouldn't, kid." Danny spread his hands wide and looked vaguely sneeringly benevolent, which is a weird mix. "But between you an' me, if you do an' I find out? You're in trouble, even if her Dad doesn't give th' nod."

That was the major issue as I saw it. My wife's father, a very highly placed man in certain circles, who "employed" Danny, could make me just... disappear. Danny however, wasn't the guy Gina's father would send to make people disappear. Danny was sent to make certain that a message was received.

"I'm not doing anything!" I said again, shaking my head.

"Kid, if it helps, I believe ya." Danny told me. "But I also believe that you are facin' a major temptation, with miss bazooms there."

"I haven't done anything, and I'm not going to do anything." I defended myself with. "I'm married to Gina, I love her, and I'm hoping to have kids with her soon."

"Heyyy, kids is great! I hope you have a herd of 'em." Danny agreed with me, looking cheerfully irritated. "But that don't address the current problem, if you know what I mean."

I had to think about that.

"I don't know what you mean." I gave Danny a questioning look. "You say you believed me..."

"Mmph... no, I ain't sayin' that." Danny said, as he almost choked on a swallow of his beer. "I said I didn't make no fuss over you doin' it or not. That ain't yer problem."

I waited for him to let me in on what my problem actually was.

"Okay, let me think a minute on how I wanna explain this." Danny said, picking his beer up again. "Get me another o' these."

I nodded at the manager, who was across the room, but focused on us. I gestured at Danny's emptying beer, and gave a nod. The manager scuttled off.

"Okay, try this..." Danny said as he put the empty glass down on the table. "This here's th' big picture. You know who Gina's Dad is. Well, he's got a lotta eyes on him. Alla th' time. I ain't talkin' about th' cops either."

I just sat and listened. You don't interrupt Danny. He would bite you.

"Well, there's other crews in our organization, an' we sometimes ain't all that friendly to each other. Sure, we get along on the surface and stuff, but we're always lookin' out for any weaknesses in th' other guys, y'know?"

Danny glanced at his empty beer, looking like he was irritated it was empty. He probably was.

"I don't mean like in th' hospital, or sick, or stuff like that... well, we do watch for that. But that ain't all I'm talkin' about. We watch for them ta be in bad positions, over-extended, makin' bad decisions, anythin' we can find."

Danny's eyes focused on something outside our booth, and a few seconds later, the manager appeared with a beer. Danny gave a happy snarling smile, and took it without it being put on the table.

"One o' those things is problems in the family. Now, ever' family's got troubles now and then, it's how it works. An' we don't mess wit' that. But some kinds o' trouble catch our attention, 'cause usually there's worse comin' after it."

Danny took a good swallow of his drink.

"One of those kinds o' trouble is with the kids." Danny said, putting down his beer, crossing his arms, elbows on the table, and looking at me. "If a guy's kids have got him upset, he's probably gonna start makin' mistakes. The kind o' mistakes we like."

"Things like a guys daughter thinkin' her hubby's steppin' out on her." Danny mentioned, almost offhandedly. "A guy can get real distracted, dealin' with his daughter cryin' over her hubby puttin' it to some other chippie."

Danny leveled his gaze at me. My soul shriveled a little.

"Now, how does this re'late to you?" Danny asked, breaking his gaze and spreading his hands, palms up. "It's easy. Gina's gonna hear about miss balloons spendin' time wit' you, and it's gonna get her to thinkin'. If she keeps hearin' about it, she's gonna keep thinkin', and then she's gonna start lookin'. First, she'll look at you, to see if yer actin' weird, then she'll start payin' attention ta whoever she thinks yer spendin' time with."

Danny leaned on the table again, his arms crossed.

"An' buddy, let me tell you, once the woman is watchin' you? If you ain't squeeky clean, she's gonna make sumptin' up in her head, and she's gonna believe an' act on it."

Danny gave me what I assume was a knowing nod. More likely, he was wondering if it was worthwhile to keep talking to me.

"I've seen it a hunnerd times." He said, his eyes closed. "The hubby ain't doin' nothin', but the wife believes he is so hard, it don't matter. She ain't gonna believe him. Th' guy is doomed."

"Pretty soon, one way or t'other, the marriage starts breakin' down." He sighed. "They stop talkin', doin' stuff together, arguments start, someone makes an accusation, sometimes things patch up.... Sometimes they don't."

"Now, whatcha got here, is Gina and you." Danny said, focusing on me again. "Gina is what unenlightened people call a "princess," of our social circle. She ain't inside the circle, but her Daddy is at the top of his little area. She's got eyes on her. If th' wrong kind of people see she's got hassles, then they start waitin' to see if that means her Daddy's gonna soon have issues."

"It don' matter if there's something goin' on... it's about what these particular other people may think. Which is because of what Gina thinks. In this here case." Danny explained, his hands gesturing expansively as he went.

"Okay, I follow that..." I drew out, hoping to get a clearer picture. Danny had found out about this somehow.

"Good." Danny said, still looking irritated, but now a pleased irritated. "I knew you is smart."

Danny doesn't take hints well, apparently.

"What?" Danny asked, seeing I was a little puzzled and frustrated.

"What made you have this talk with me?" I asked, feeling suspicious.

"Oh, that. That's easy." Danny said, looking smug. "I heard about it from my Ma, who found out from th' lady across th' street, who was told by her friend, whose daughter goes ta th' same beauty salon Miz Ta-Ta's uses."

I was retracing what Danny had said, when he expanded.

"Miz Tracts-of-Land has been talkin' 'bout you, and seems ta think she can get you." He said, reaching for his beer.

I sat back, digesting this. Sure, the woman in question had thrown some light flirting at me, and I'd looked at her cleavage one day, when she'd leaned over the table for a napkin, but that was it. Well, no, there was a little more, but I didn't see myself as coming on to her.

"I'm not doing anything with her." I defended myself with.

"Kid, that's fine." Danny said, after taking a pull of his beer. "Th' danger is in what Gina may hear, an' believe."

I took a second to think about that.

"With Miz Boombas talkin', you got a problem though." Danny said, looking at me. "Let's say, Gina hears somethin'. Don' ask me what. But she hears somethin'. She starts lookin' at you, watchin' how you behave and stuff. Let's say you come home after a bad day or somethin', and Gina gets th' wrong impression."

I could see that.

"Gina takes it wrong, an' she starts lookin' harder." Danny continued. "She may find somethin', she may not. She may think she found somethin', and that'll be enough."

I could see Gina making a wrong assumption.

"She confronts you, you deny." Danny went on. "She doesn't believe ya, you keep denyin'. You both get hot, things get said... and she then runs to her mom."

I could see that too.

"Mom consoles her some, soothes her temper, and sends Gina back to you." Danny said, reaching for his beer again. "Except now, ya got Mom watchin' ya. Soon after that, Gina's Dad is watchin' ya."

That didn't sound good.

"An along the way, everyone else who's heard any talk, has gone and gossiped it, and now unfriendly eyes are watchin', waitin' ta see what's goin' on, y'know?"

The gossip was a strong thing in the neighborhoods.

"So now, Gina's Dad has ta pay attention ta who's payin' attention too, on top of his baby girl bein' unhappy." Danny said before taking a sip.

"So, if Gina ain't satisfied after that, dependin' on how much pressure her Dad is feelin', he may have ta... whattaya call it?..." Danny said, putting his beer back on the table. "... "Intervene."

That could be bad.

"How he intervenes, I dunno." Danny said, shrugging. "He's a reasonable guy. But like alla us, he can feel th' pressure. Might be simple, might be complex. Might be easy, might be hard. I dunno, kid."

This didn't sound like something I wanted.

"Here's what I'm tellin' you..." Danny leaned over the table between us a little, and his penetrating stare zero'd in on me. "... don't give Gina any reason to doubt you."

I could easily see the domino chain of events that could lead to something like this happening. It seemed far-fetched, but... I could see it.

++++++

Gina is a passionate woman. Very passionate. It's something I love about her. But in our marriage, she also tells her mother everything. Everything.

My mother-in-law knows what kinds of sex we had on our honeymoon, in order, as well as where and what we ate. Our hotel room number. The color of the carpet in our room. How many towels were in the bathroom. The name of our taxi driver the first day. Every detail, most I didn't even bother to retain, she knew. With a steel-trap memory. She watched her daughter very protectively, and knew everything.

They were on the phone with each other for hours daily. At least, it seemed that way.

She knew our sex lives intimately. I was very embarrassed when she brought it up one day over dinner.

That's when all the women looked at my shocked face and in a chorus they said "What? We talk? So?"

Nothing was private.

I couldn't even get Gina to agree to keep things private.

"What? You want me to lie to my Ma?" she asked me, horrified I'd even started the topic.

"Hon, does she really need to know about my birthmark?" I asked, referring to a certain area of my anatomy that the sun doesn't normally find.

"Oh, pfft." She blew off with a hand wave. "It's cute. What? You're ashamed? It's cute, I tell ya."

All the conversations about privacy went like that.

++++++

"I can see you're thinkin' about it, kid." Danny said, sitting back and observing me as he raised his beer to his mouth.

I gave Danny a look of helplessness.

"Kid, I get it." Danny volunteered, as he put his glass down after taking a swallow. "The women, they don't shut up."

I invoked the name of our deity.

"That's right. Gina hears somethin', an' she tells her Ma." Danny started ticking points off his fingertips, while looking at me over his hand. "Ma hears it a couple a' times, she takes it ta Gina's Dad. Gina's Dad hears it a couple a' times, he starts wonderin'. Eventually, he starts lookin'. What he finds may not matter... if Gina ain't happy, eventually, he ain't gonna be happy."

It made sense.

"An' when he's unhappy, he starts lookin' for ways ta get back ta bein' happy." Danny put his hands down on the table now, and leaned on one elbow. It was like staring at an avalanche...

"You gotta be squeeky clean, kid." Danny said. "Those stories you see about guys like us, havin' women on th' side? I'm not sayin' it don't happen, but most of us? We're not takin' th' risk. We all heard stories of what happens when some guy get's his wick wet in th' wrong place, an' an "adjustment" has ta be made, ordered from th' Higher Ups."

Danny nodded sagely. It was a strange look. Wisdom wasn't what you gave this man credit for.

"Most a th' time, it's about some guy in our circle runnin' his mouth off, sayin' somethin' he shouldn't ta a loud-mouthed bimbo, after they've had th' old conjugation visit. We can't have that. Sometimes, if it's not too bad, and he's a liked guy, it's settled with a talk. Sometimes, it's a "tune up."

Danny looked at me again. He could give very pointed look. Pointed enough to make a honey badger pause.

"Sometimes, th' leak is just plugged."

I knew he was going to say that.

"You?" Danny said, almost looking relaxed suddenly. "You ain't in th' business. You don' know nuttin', and you should keep it that way, kid. I like you, you seem like a good guy. But you got ties. You married in. An' while Gina is all wonderful, she's got some danger on her. You gotta be careful."

Danny sat up straight in his seat now, and intertwined his fingers on the table in front of him.

"I don't want ta have to pay you a "tune up" visit, under orders, okay?" Danny looked both concerned and annoyed at the same time as he said that. "I'm th' guy they'll send. But, if they send Mario... you won't see anything. Ever."

That was not something that inspired confidence. It was a stark reality check, but it was also a situation you don't want to hear you are in.

Or maybe you do?

Danny was stepping outside his normal mode of operation. He was giving me a heads-up about the chance of something happening... apparently a growing chance.

Danny was still staring at me. He looked like he was ready to bite a bulldog, which meant he was being thoughtful.

Which meant there was time to course-correct something I didn't even know was happening.

"I get it." I said, sitting up. I hadn't even realized I had been slouching.

"Good." Danny nodded. "I'm glad we had this little talk."

"I am too." I said, as I looked back at the manager, and pointed at Danny's beer which was two-thirds gone.

"Ey, thanks kid." Danny said, smiling, which was enough to scare most hardened soldiers.

"You want something else?" I asked him. "Suddenly, I want more than that salad."

"I'll jus' take anudder beer, an' a double scotch. Neat." The manager, who was dropping off another beer, nodded. Then he looked to me, awaiting my order. I ordered a steak.

"Eat fast, kid. I'll give ya a ride back ta yer car."

++++++

When I got home that day, I found Gina in the bedroom, sitting at her make-up vanity. She had some white cream on her face, and was on her phone.

"... he just came in Ma," she said to the phone will giving me a wave over her shoulder. "No, he's very good about that. Ma, it's a good thing. I don't have to worry. No, he gets home about this time every day. Why?"

"Oh, okay, I'll ask." Gina pulled the phone away from her ear and looked back at me, her hair up in a towel, her pink bathrobe coming down to her knees. "Honey, do you want to go to dinner with my folks on Friday?"

"Sure," I said, after hanging up my shirt. I walked across the room to Gina, and hugged her from behind, as she turned forward and put her phone back to her ear.

"That's good, Ma. We'll be there. No, you were sayin' something about that nice little restaurant on... oh... mmm..."

I was cupping Gina's breasts through her robe, and nibbling on the back of her neck.

"...yeah,... Uhm,... yeah, that's the place I think? You said they have those cucumber... uhmmm..."

I was undoing the belt on the robe, while now open-mouth was biting the side of her neck.

"... Ma, I need to go... no, nothin's wro... Ma, I just gotta go, okay?"

I could hear noises of protest from Ginas phone as I was nibbling on her earlobe.

"... I'll call you later, Ma. Say 'Hi' to Daddy for me." Then she hit end.

Gina pivoted around in her chair, and rubbed her face against mine before kissing me.

We kissed very hard.

Then I stood up, and she started undoing my belt, a smile on her face.

In the mirror behind her, I could see the smear of face-cream on my cheeks and nose.

Worth it.

++++++

That night, I devoted some time to how to solve the problem. I came up with a plan. I don't know if it was a good one, but it seemed like it was only going to be a little painful, while not offending anyone.