I'm single, after five and a half years of dating my high school sweetheart. I'm single again. The whole realization of this fact was mind shattering, because I had truly believed that Steven and I were going to get married in year or so when we were both just a semester or two away from graduating with our bachelor degrees. But sometimes life has its little unexpected turns, and this was just another change of direction for me in my life, and at the moment I had turned and fallen right down into a bottomless abyss. At least that's how I had felt for the last couple of months, ever since Steven had told me that he had met another woman at work. It was the same woman that had been coming on to him for about three months. The same woman that he had told me about, who I shouldn't worry about, because her attentions just boosted his ego, even though he wasn't attracted to her at all. So he had said at the time anyway.
Steven and I, in the past had always played around with each other, getting each other worked up into jealous rages, telling each other about this person or another that had been hitting on us. Of course we had never seriously thought about returning the attention to these people, but we liked to play our little jealousy game, that had always ended with us making love to each other, and comforting the other by saying that there was nothing to worry about and that we loved each other mind, body, and soul and that no one, would or could ever come between us.
However, one thing that had always worried me about our relationship was the fact that we had both lost our virginities to each other during our junior year of high school and that we didn't know what it was like to be with another person sexually. I always asked Steven about it, whether or not he wanted to sleep with anyone else, and he always denied the fact that he wondered about it, and told me to stop being so silly because he had all the woman he needed in me. I honestly had thought about being with other guys, and had been in a few situations where I could have easily been with someone else sexually if I had wanted, but I never returned the advances, because I truly loved Steven. He was already like a part of my family when it came to my heart, and I couldn't bare to be parted from him, and would never risk doing anything that would tear us apart, so these advances never amounted to anything.
Besides I was truly happy, even proud of the fact that we had both lost our virginities to each other and that we were the only people that we had ever or would ever be with. It made me pity other people who lost their virginities to people who didn't really love them. I thought we were special.
Come to find out we weren't special, and our special bond of being each others first lead Steven to sleep with this other woman after work one night, and to decide to explore greener pastures. For two months I cried periodically, blaming myself for him breaking up with me, because I should have done this or that differently. I even demeaned myself by going to his apartment begging him to come back to me, saying that this woman, much older woman in fact with children that she didn't even have in her custody, would never amount to anything and that their relationship would end just as quickly as it had started. He would just shrug his shoulders and sit there silent, or say that he didn't know where this relationship was going to take him.
On these numerous occasions during that two-month period I had dressed provocatively, wearing outfits that I knew would turn him on, and had proceeded to seduce him over and over. I had thought that because he still wanted to be with me sexually that he would eventually come back to me. Each time I slept with him I believed that he would turn around and say how stupid and ignorant he had been to leave me, but he never did. We both always ended up crying and or fighting, with me telling him what a huge mistake he was making because we still loved each other.
Finally I gave up and stopped running to his apartment trying to win him back. I was heart broken, and deep down kept waiting for the knock on my door, or call that would bring us back together again. It didn't happen, so instead of dwelling in my misery I told myself that he could have this old whore, and that one day he'd realize that the greener grass on the other side was just green because of all the manure, moss, and fungi growing on it. And he'd regret the day that he left me, the one woman he could ever really love.
I started going to the bars with friends on a regular basis, trying to find another Mr. Right. But every where I looked I just saw horny college guys, or older nasty looking men, who would just use me for a fuck and then nonchalantly cast me aside for some newer piece of ass later on. I wanted more than that. So one night after finishing a mid-term paper, I decided that I'd try out one of those Internet personal ad websites and see what kind of people would respond to my ad. Even if I didn't find Mr. Right, maybe I could at least meet a few guys that I could get to know as a person, and perhaps be friends if nothing else came of it.
Within a couple of days I started receiving a few responses to my personal ad. Most of the messages were from older divorced, single, and sometimes even married men, which sounded like the only thing they were looking for was a sexual encounter with some young college girl. I was yet again, just a piece of ass, even when I was just a couple of paragraphs in an ad. I was still just a possible fuck. After a couple of weeks I was about ready to say the hell with it and just let my personal life go. After all eventually I'd met someone in real life, its not like I was unattractive, I just had high standards for the type of men I was willing to go out with.
Anyway I was just about to give up on the personal ad thing when Brian, age 29, messaged me. The message was practically an autobiography, telling me about himself and his basic beliefs and values, and how that he agreed full heartedly to the statement I had made in my ad about being friends first before taking the relationship to the next level. He had given me his e-mail and messenger ID incase I wanted to add him as a friend so we could chat sometime if we ever caught each other online. We e-mailed each other for about a week, telling each other about our different backgrounds, values, and hopes for the future. He even sent me a picture in an e-mail so I could see what he looked like. Unfortunately I didn't have a scanner or web cam so the best I could do was describe myself to him. I was very impressed by the picture he had sent.
He had dark brown hair cut in a military style, a strong angular shaped face and features, sky blue eyes so he told me, and from the picture alone I could tell he had a muscular body head to toe that would make most women drool. He was definitely one hundred percent all male. Plus he was intelligent, and an easy person to talk to even though it had only been through e-mail so far, I was looking forward to getting to know him better, that's for sure.
It was 9 p. m. on a Friday night. I just got off of work from the shopping center, and decided to just lounge around my place for awhile instead of going out and partying. I love my friends and all, but going out to the bars or to some get together at some ones house that always involved alcohol and flirting or more was starting to get old fast, especially for someone who had always had a date or warm body to crawl in bed with during the week and on weekends. After about thirty minutes of so-called lounging, which could be better called, being completely bored out of my mind and lonely. I decided to call Brian and to see if he was home or not since he had given me his number to call in his last e-mail.
I didn't expect him to be at home on a Friday night, so I was prepared for disappointment and to just go to bed and get a good nights rest. But he picked up on the first ring, to my surprise.
"Hello, Brian?" I asked.
"Yes, speaking," Brian replied, in a medium toned voice that sounded quite pleasant.
"This is Jenny, your e-mail buddy." I timidly stated.
"Oh hey, I wasn't really expecting you to call so soon," he said.
I immediately thought, oh great, upon hearing voices in the background, he has company. So I quickly said, "I just got off of work and thought what the heck, I'd see what you were doing tonight, but I guess you have company. I can call you back later sometime. I'm sorry I bothered you."
"Bother me?" he laughed, "not hardly. I'm all alone. I was just sitting here flipping through channels, complaining to myself about how much cable sucks and that there's never anything on TV."
Relief washed through me and I gave a little nervous giggle before I replied. "Yeah I often wonder myself why I waste money on cable too, for as little time as I get to watch TV, let alone being able to find something worth watching. I usually find myself so bored to tears that I end up watching a late night talk show like Jerry Springer or something with 'Who is the father of my baby' as the topic of discussion."
Brian roared with laughter at that and said, "Hey guess you most have been bored last night too, I saw that episode."
