We Did a Good Thing

The words

"READ ME!"

were written directly adjacent to the engagement ring I'd offered her months earlier.

My love, please don't be alarmed. I haven't left you. I haven't abandoned you. I'm not ending it or calling off the wedding.

I know I brought you to a dark place last night when you revealed so much to me, and I'm sincerely grateful you did. We can't have secrets, especially painful ones, and I'm thankful you felt comfortable enough to share your pain with me.

I'm not sure you've absolved yourself of your own perceived guilt of your past. I'm worried you haven't moved beyond what Cassidy did to you. What happened wasn't your fault, but I don't want to think or worry your pain will keep you from trusting me fully and completely. I know your heart was broken, and I'm not comparing your story to mine.

I need to be sure you're ready. I'm absolutely ready to be your wife, but I'm worried you're still reserving your fullest because of your past, and wonder if you're ready to be my husband.

I hope you understand. I need to know you're sure. If you aren't, I'll wait. I'll wait as long as you need. Please know this is me being totally honest with the man I want as my husband. I'm giving you the chance to ask me again. Or not.

I'm totally and completely supportive and devoted to you, my love, whatever your decision.

I'm in the other bedroom.

All my love,

Brenda

It was a kick to my balls, and I was pissed.

It was a kick I needed, and I was pissed at myself.

I sat at the foot of the bed, reevaluating the last ten months of my life.

I left the master suite and walked to the guest bedroom on the opposite side of the house, across the hall from Stacie's.

I knocked softly. There was no answer, so I opened the door and walked inside to see Brenda under the covers of the bed.

I placed my right arm under her knees, and my left under her shoulders. I carefully lifted her limp form and began to walk to our bedroom. The soft jostles stirred her.

"Todd?" she whispered, awakening.

"Yes, love?"

"What are you doing?"

"Taking you back to the bed you belong in."

"Did you read it?"

"I did."

"And?"

"You are so right."

"Talk to me, Todd. Please talk to me," Brenda said as I lowered her to the foot of our bed and sat on the floor in front of her.

My emotions suddenly overwhelmed me. The cries I sought to hide the night before escaped my loosened grasp. I released myself to the woman I loved. I released everything. I cried. I cried fully and forcefully.

"I'm

sorry

, Brenda! I am! I wasn't trying to push you away. I do trust you, baby. I don't know if I can explain it, but you're everything to me. Yes, Cassidy killed me. But you're bringing me back⁠—oh, shit. No, that's completely the wrong thing to say. You … you

brought

me back to life. I hope you understand me. You

rescued

me, Brenda!"

She softly kissed the tears away from my cheeks. "I wish it had never happened to you," she whispered tenderly.

"It ended, and I know I dodged a big bullet," I said, hugging my future wife close to me. "You asked last night if I was excited with you like I was with her, and I said 'no.'

"I'm not excited like that. The excitement I feel now, for you, can't be described.

"I think I told you when I took you and Stacie out to dinner that evening in Seward how I might have noticed what was going on between me and Cassidy if I'd paid attention. I mean, hell. Even Benny tried to tell me something wasn't sitting right with him, but I waved him off, and he didn't press. He never said 'I told you so' when she proved him right.

"But I

swear

to you, Brenda, I've been paying attention every day since. I've been consciously making myself look for a reason not to trust you in a way that could turn back on me, and I

hate

myself now for doing it. I'm so sorry, because I've seen nothing. There's absolutely

nothing

I don't look forward to in spending the rest of my life with you."

I stopped speaking, wondering if I'd hear a rebuttal. Hearing none, I added, "Brenda, I trust you. Completely."

"Baby," she whispered, "I'm not like her. I love you, Todd, and

only

you."

She cried with me. I knew she was nothing like my former "whatever." She knew me and understood me. She

got

me.

"I love you, too," I said, looking up at her, seeing only tender compassion and love painted all over her.

"Brenda Emily Mays," I said, taking her left hand in mine. "I will give every ounce of my being to honor, protect, and provide for you and your daughter. I admit I've been an asshole and gave you a reason to doubt me. The woman who crushed my soul did me a favor and released me to find you.

"I thought I'd said goodbye to her, but I admit I never released the pain she caused until you drew it out of me. You … damn it, you somehow knew I needed to swim across the River Styx again to realize just how drawn to you I am.

"I will strive to be every bit the husband you want and deserve, and I hope you grant me grace and mercy if I sometimes fall short, as will I you. Thank you for pushing me to talk. Thank you for listening as I did.

"Please, Miss Mays, I really do want you to marry me and be my forever wife, friend, confidant, life partner, and soulmate," I concluded as I replaced the ring on her finger she'd removed at some point during the night.

She wrapped her arms around me.

"Yes again, baby! Yes!" she squeaked as her own tears flowed again. "God, Todd! That was even more

awesomer

than the first time you asked!

"I

know

you, baby. Telling me what you told me last night had to be very difficult for you." She sniffled. "Thank you for opening up to me. Thank you for letting me see that dark spot. Forget the one on your back," she said, running her fingers down the strip of distorted skin I'd earned twenty years earlier. "What you described to me last night was your real scar."

"I'm sorry for crying on you," I gasped in stuttered breath. "I guess I'm not so manly to you right now, huh?"

"Yes, you are. More now than ever. You've earned a crap-ton of man points for letting your guard down. I love when you're willing to be vulnerable with me, you know?"

"I said this a while back. I hid a lot of stuff under the bed. I think you've pulled the last of it out."

"Jeez, Todd, I love you so much," she said, kissing me softly. "I can't wait for you to be my husband," she wept.

I did too.

Friday, November 23, 2018

The ceremony was absolutely beautiful. I'm a pragmatist, so that's saying something.

I was overwhelmed in joy the moment I saw Miss Brenda Emily Mays walking down the aisle, escorted by her daughter, Stacie Ellen Mays. I was overwhelmed not only by the moment, but also because our petition for me to adopt Stacie as my daughter, signed by us both, was sitting on a particular family lawyer's desk. I was, that day, her stepfather, but I knew the title would live a very short life.

Texas's legal requirements had all been satisfied. Brenda and I had signed the petition two days prior to our ceremony.

The next day, we drove to the port in Galveston to embark on a cruise to Key West, then a private island, to Nassau, then back to Galveston on a kid-friendly ship. Our attorney would have plenty to do while we were gone.

Yes, of course we brought Stacie with us on our honeymoon.

The cruise line's menu of on-board activities, being very family friendly, ensured Brenda and I had plenty of alone time to celebrate our union both metaphorically and very,

very

physically. The fact I booked us a two-bedroom suite afforded us even more. We realized naval architects don't seem to take into consideration what happens behind closed doors on cruise ships, because I found the sound attenuation between our cabins to be … unsatisfactory. Yes, Brenda and I tested it as each of us stood in opposing rooms with the connecting door closed. Normal "indoor" voices couldn't be heard through the walls, but anything louder could. Wanting to avoid traumatizing our child, we kept our animalistic noises quieted.

On our first full sea day after our departure, we escorted Stacie to a massive venue which accommodated at least one hundred kids plus thirty "cast members." The adult supervision was more than adequate, so we knew she would be safe.

The expression on her face when she saw familiar and utterly alive movie characters was priceless. We shot some great "candid" photos with our phones.

"Bye, Mommy! Bye, Daddy!" Stacie said before she eagerly entered the place, and my heart absolutely melted. It was only the fourth or fifth time she'd addressed me as such.

Her fifth birthday was the next day and we had even more special events planned in Key West. No, I wasn't trying to spoil Stacie or garner particular favor. I only wanted the whole experience to be one of her fondest early memories of family.

Brenda grasped my hand and whispered into my ear, "We've got two hours. Let's use them." She smiled invitingly before nibbling my earlobe, then launched herself down the broad passageway.

She was laughing when the elevator's doors closed between us before I could board it, so I had to run up the stairs.

"You're going to pay for that," I wheezed when she exited the elevator. She was surprised to see me waiting for her on deck eight. I was surprised I made it up there alive because I was taking the stairs two steps at a time.

"Oh, I hope so," she said, giggling, then sprinted again to our stateroom.

Jeez, my wife could haul her perfect butt! And thankfully, there were no other passengers in the passageway for her to careen into.

She pulled me aggressively into our stateroom when I reached it.

She stripped the clothes from her body and nonchalantly strolled onto the open-air veranda, completely nude, twirling around her finger the indigo-blue panties she'd removed. I wondered if she was going to toss them into the Gulf of Mexico, but she tossed them to me instead.

I placed her offering under my nose, smelling her rich and absolutely delicious scent.

"We have to be quiet, okay?" She grinned, "It ain't exactly soundproofed out here."

"Did you just say

ain't

?"

"Yeah, you and Texas have rubbed off on me."

"Yeah? Well, you got me hooked on Dorothy Lynch, and you might even convince me to become a Husker fan. But, baby, I will never. Ever.

Ever

like red beer."

My gorgeous wife pulled me close to her and said, "I won't try to change your mind, because red beer is disgusting."

The red-tinged fur at her mons, however, was absolutely beautiful.

"You gonna get naked, or what?" she whispered. "I want to make love with you out here." She smiled so sweetly goosebumps ran down the back of my arms, back, and legs.

She reclined atop the deck table and pulled her knees up to her chest, exposing very inviting sights to my eyes. I knelt and ran my tongue across one, eliciting a wonderful gasp and sigh. I placed my tongue's tip at the center of a forbidden spot with a little wiggle while stroking her clitoris with my thumb.

"Oh," she quietly groaned.

She hissed through clenched teeth when I licked the spot again, feeling her little ring-like muscle contract repeatedly in reflex as her first orgasm struck. I insinuated my tongue into her pussy, consuming its offerings, partially satisfying my animalistic hunger and thirst.

Her flavor. Her scent. Her textures. Her groans and whimpers. They were familiar, but suddenly and so newly amplified.

"I need you inside me, my husband," she whispered with a sexy smile after she'd settled into coherence.

I watched her eyes roll back as I entered her. She mewled in a wonderfully soft, fantastically feminine tone and put her hand over her mouth to quiet herself.

My thighs and calves were exercised as I worked myself in full strokes, occasionally removing myself completely so I could experience the sensation of penetrating her again.

My love and lover wrapped her limbs around me, squeezing me into a forever-embrace when I began erupting into her. I felt her clenching vagina. She knew I was cumming, and she was increasing my pleasure with the wonder-clutches. She made me quiver. I stood at the table's edge, slowly stroking in and out of my mate as I softened. When I reached the point I could no longer enter her, I released our embrace, and both of us stood completely naked in the late morning's sun.

She quietly giggled. "Do you think anyone heard us?"

"No way," I answered. "But whoever is flying that drone might have caught quite a show."

"Where!" she yelped, twisting us around so her back was to our cabin, using my body as an unnecessary shield, searching over my shoulder.

"Gotcha!" I chuckled, gently swatting her bare bottom. "Payback for you making me run up the stairs."

She laughed. "Oh, wow! That was pretty good!"

She turned to walk back into the suite. I slid the glass door closed behind us and drew the shades.

We had a little over an hour to kill. After we recombobulated ourselves, we spent the time exploring the immense ship and its various activities and venues.

The festivities I'd planned for our day in Key West didn't turn out as I had hoped because a late-season tropical depression blew into the gulf overnight. The high winds and thirty-foot seas prevented the ship from making port because other ships couldn't leave their berths, leaving our ship with no place to moor.

The captain, probably trying to conserve fuel, navigated his vessel in a circle with a twenty-mile radius, but at a speed which reduced the roll-stabilizing system's effectiveness. It wouldn't have mattered if we'd made port, though, because the weather was horrible in Key West, too.

Stacie became a bit green around the gills in the rough seas, and to be honest, so did I.

Brenda spent her time doping us with anti-nausea medications which we basically slept off. I felt horrible. Not only physically, but in regret we weren't able to celebrate Stacie's birthday the way I'd planned.

Thankfully, I'd not taken into account how five-year-old kids aren't exactly familiar with calendars, so when we felt better two days later, she was convinced the belated celebration was of her actual birthday.

"You're such a wimp," Brenda playfully chastised me in a whisper while characters sang "Happy Birthday" to Stacie in the restaurant we'd selected for dinner.

"Don't hold it against me, okay?"

"Never, babe." She kissed me tenderly. "I'm guessing flying airplanes is different?"

"I've only gotten airsick while piloting a plane a couple of times. Both times, I found an airfield to land at to wait out the weather. I imagine that's not entirely practical for quarter mile-long cruise ships, though."

"You are such a great daddy. You did your best to comfort and care for Stacie, even as bad as you were feeling," she whispered, kissing me softly again, not giving a damn we were in public.

Her words and actions warmed me to my core. I answered, "You're a better mommy, because you pampered me, too," I smiled and kissed her warm lips again and again.

We had an absolutely fantastic time on the line's private island as well as in the Bahamas, despite the light rain. Who cares if a little water is coming from the sky when you're splashing in the azure-blue warm water of the Caribbean? Those days more than made up for the few uncomfortable sea days. It seemed Stacie thought such activities were some sort of "forbidden fruit" while she was dancing, prancing, swimming, and playing in rain. Thankfully, there weren't any thunderstorms, or we'd have had to abort those activities, too.

My two gals slept most of the ninety-minute drive back from Galveston to our home in Katy after we'd returned to port.

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Before the Christmas holidays, Stacie Ellen Mays became Stacie Ellen Carlson when the adoption was finalized. Added to the joy I felt in marrying her mother, the fact that Stacie was officially my daughter was enormously fulfilling.

Brenda and I decided to enroll our kiddo in a Pre-K program hosted at the local senior high school. Brenda wanted to spend more time working in our office, and, more importantly, we wanted Stacie to interact daily with children her own age.

I say "our office" because I'd already started working with counsel to name Brenda as my business partner in the limited liability corporation.

The firm had grown dramatically during the prior two years, and I'd begun investigating expansion, seeking appropriate nearby commercial properties into which we could relocate. Brenda asked if she could take over the responsibility, and I agreed.

We returned to the office immediately after the new year break.

"Hey, Bren!" Benny grinned, offering my wife a fist to bump along with his latest chosen diminutive.

"No," Brenda objected, wagging a finger at my best friend and most-talented investigator, Benjamin Warren.

"Fine, then. 'Sup, Brie?" he said, presenting his fist again.

"Todd, cuff him, will you?"

"My sister from another mister?" Benny tried once more with an appellation far from diminutive.

"That'll work," she said, bumping his fist twice. "So, tell me,

Benihana

. What's the word? What'd we miss?"

"Absolutely

not

!" he barked, the play repeating in reverse.

I enjoyed the banter between the two of them. Brenda and Benjamin clicked immediately when they first met, working together on the Hanes/Grant case. Both of them had an odd angle to their senses of humor. They often fed off each other. It was fun to watch.

I'd left him at the helm of the firm for the month I'd been absent.

"All of the applications have either been culled or assigned, except for this one. This one is wild. The kid's attorney wrote the application. You're not going to believe it," he said, opening the online file to display the document on the screen in the team room.

I read the summary.

"Reject it," I said.

"Come on, Todd," he said gently.

"No, Benny. You know it's counter to the firm's practices."

"Yeah, I know. Read it again."

"Benny, no. You know I don't want to get the firm into things like this. Particularly domestic cases. Especially something this … horrific."

"Whoa, boss. You didn't say that when I helped a certain someone a year ago who shall remain nameless. The perpetrators will undoubtedly go to prison, all on account of this firm.

Your

firm."

"Nobody

died

, Ben," I countered.

"Todd," my wife said, placing her hand on my shoulder. "Read it again. Please?"

I used the wireless mouse to open the more detailed portions of the application.

I read it all twice.

"What's your opinion?"

"Take it, Todd. We have to," Brenda replied.

"Why?"

"You know it's the right thing to do."

"I'll leave you two to discuss it," Benny said as he left the room.

"What's your concern?" Brenda asked after she closed the door behind Benny.

"My concern is that taking this client could set a precedent. These types of things can levy a huge psychological toll on investigators. We don't do screenings of that sort on employees, and I don't want to take on something which might wreck someone's mind.

"These are the types of things where there are demons behind doors, and you won't know one is there until you open it. And when you do, you can't go back.

"Also, if we take this case, and word gets out, we'll have people beating down our doors. We'll either have to start declining even more clients which is bad for business because our reputation will suffer, or our

raison d'être

goes out the window entirely. I'm also afraid attrition will skyrocket."