Watchin You

Author's note: this one starts out a bit dark. If that's not your cup of tea, you should reconsider reading.

**********

It was a very gloomy Saturday afternoon. It had rained all day and it finally stopped. I sat there staring out the bay window looking for the sun to break through the clouds, but it didn't seem like it was going to happen.

I thought "How fitting," based on what I was planning to do that afternoon. I was hoping that a bit of sunshine would've broke through as a sign that I could hold onto in order to change my mind. No, just more gloom.

I saw Myra, my neighbor across the street, walk out to get her mail. I guess she was waiting for a break in the rain too.

She looked good; she always did. She wore yoga pants or leggings, I could never understand the difference, and a bright neon green t-shirt. Cindy knew he difference, never me. Myra looked my way and waved. I nodded to her, she smiled and she bounced her way back into her house.

She had a little girl named Sara. I guess she was about 3, but I was no good at guessing that kind of stuff. Cindy was though. She would have guessed and been right every time. She loved kids.

Myra and the girl moved in 3 months ago. There was never a man around and I was too lost in my own world to find out her story. Cindy would've had her whole life story the first day. She would've made cookies and dragged me over there to be neighborly.

Not me, I watched. I didn't socialize much with anyone anymore then. I had no interest in being a friend nor a good neighbor. I sat in my window and looked out. Not at anything in particular, just out.

For about six months, some of the ladies in the neighborhood came around and brought me a meal or offered to clean something. I guess they got tired of me declining and sending them away. They had stopped coming around when Myra moved in. They had a new target for their neighborly ways.

I didn't blame them. I hadn't been very pleasant to be around before, and I certainly wasn't after. Cindy wouldn't have been happy about that.

I sat there on that Saturday, it would've been my 10th anniversary. That's supposed to be a happy occasion. That day was anything but happy.

I was holding our wedding picture and thinking of the great day it was. All of the hope, all of the dreams, we had such a future ahead of us, but no, that was the past.

I put the picture down reverently and picked up the gun. I didn't know if it was a good quality gun or not, all I was needed was for it to fire one shot. One shot at close distance.

I felt the weight of it in my hand and rechecked to make sure it was loaded right. I guessed it was. I had watched a YouTube video to learn how.

I looked up at the sky and still saw gray skies. I looked back at Myra's house and at that moment a pick up truck drove up onto her lawn. It crashed over the curb and threw her mailbox into the air as it came to a stop halfway up her front yard.

I thought it was an accident until the driver fell out. He was clearly drunk and started screaming for Myra and Sara. He walked up to the door and thats when I saw the knife in his hand.

I grabbed my gun and ran out of the house. He had kicked in her door before I made it off of the porch.

I ran at full speed while hearing the screaming, if they were screaming there was still a chance they were ok, I hoped.

As I got into the house I saw Myra guarding Sara, using her body as a shield. I screamed, "Hey, asshole," and he turned around. That was enough for Myra to grab Sara and run to the kitchen and hopefully out the back door.

"Put the knife down and I won't shoot you," I said pointing the gun at his face. He was about 10 feet away and I hoped I didn't have to shoot him. He gave me a wicked smile and held up the knife. That was when I saw the blood on it.

He took a step towards me and I pulled the trigger. At that moment I realized I didn't know how to use it because nothing happened. "Shit!" I thought as I realized I had the safety on.

He laughed at me and took a swipe with the knife. I managed to back away enough to where it sliced into my arm but not too badly. It did make me drop the gun though. I dove for the gun and flicked off the safety as he tried to stab me again. He must've been really drunk because it caused him to fall over me.

I had received another slice on the arm but was able to get up and get a shot off.

I hit him in the stomach and he went back down. He dropped the knife and at that moment someone yelled, "Police officer, drop your gun."

I threw the gun out of the open door and the police came in. I had my hands up and said, "He tried to kill Myra and Sara. His knife is over there."

One of the officers cuffed me and asked me to sit down on the couch. The other officer walked over and said, "He's gone."

I thought he meant that he ran away, but looked over and saw that he was still laying there. He was not moving and I realized that he meant that he was dead.

I was asked to tell my side of what happened when Myra ran into the room with an arm wrapped in a bandage. That made me look at my own bloody arms and ask the officer if I could get bandaged up while we talked.

The EMT came in and got to work on my arms. The officers were standing over us and Myra was crying a few feet away, as he bandaged me up. He told the officer that I needed stitches and they would drive me in. One of the officers handcuffed me to the stretcher in the ambulance and rode with.

I gave him my side of what happened on the way and hoped I wouldn't be arrested for murdering the guy. I was so nervous about it, I was shaking. At one point I thought I should shut up and get a lawyer, but I hadn't been read my rights so I figured whatever I said wouldn't hold up if it came down to it in court.

When I was done talking he uncuffed me and asked, "Are you in much pain?"

I said, "A little. I think the adrenaline is wearing off. I never shot anyone before."

"The EMT can give you a painkiller. Don't worry about the shoot. It sounds clean to me. I don't think charges will be pressed. I'm certainly not placing you under arrest at this time."

"Do you know how the little girl is? I didn't see her with her mom."

"She was with the neighbor that called us. She wasn't hurt. Just really scared."

"Okay, Myra's going to be ok? I saw her bandaged up."

The EMT said, "Yeah. She's not as bad as you. Yours are pretty deep slashes."

**********

I got stitched up and the police officer came in to let me know that I was free to go home. He said, "Don't go leaving on vacation or anything, and check in with us in a few days if you don't hear from us first. Our report and the detective's report right now say it's a home invasion and self defense."

"Thank you officer."

I realized I didn't have my cell on me when I tried to grab it and get an Uber. I figured I'd ask at the reception area for a phone to call a cab.

As soon as I walked through the ER double doors I was hit by a hurricane. Myra ran up to me and grabbed me into a tight hug and little Sara was right behind her hitting my legs. There were about 10 other folks from the neighborhood there all waiting for me to come out.

"Jim are you okay?" Myra asked. "We were worried about you."

"Sure. Just some stitches. I had worse done when I was a kid." I said with as fake a smile as I could muster.

She grabbed my hand and dragged me into the main room with the rest of the crowd.

Everyone had questions and at one point I had to say, "Folks, I appreciate your concern. I'm fine and thankfully these two ladies are too. I just want to get home and rest a bit. Can someone give me a lift?"

Myra spoke up. "We'll give you a ride, come on."

I made my goodbyes to everyone and thanked them for checking on me, and we left.

**********

Nothing was said on the way home and Myra pulled into my drive way.

"Jim, let's get you inside. I'll order a pizza for us and let you rest up okay?"

"Sure, that sounds good, but I'll order for us. You don't need to be paying for my meal."

"Don't worry about it. Get yourself cleaned up and changed. Take a bath and soak. We'll be okay down here."

Laughing, I said, "Men don't take baths."

Sara chimed in, "How do you get clean?"

"I shower sweetie."

She then said, "Mommy gives me baths. She can give you one if you don't know how."

Myra blushed and was about to speak, but I said, "Mommies don't give their neighbors baths, sweetie. Just their little princesses."

"Oh, okay."

"Myra, when I come down, do you think I could get the story on what happened today?"

"Of course. Get cleaned up and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

I nodded and went to get the bloody clothes off and get cleaned up.

***********

I heard the doorbell and figured the pizza must be here so I finished up and went downstairs.

It wasn't the pizza, it was Fran Jacobs, Myra's neighbor to her house's left.

Fran came in with a casserole in one of those carrying bags that the dishes come in.

"Jim, I figured you could guys use something to eat. It's nothing fancy but it's filling."

"Thanks Fran. I appreciate it." I said.

She smiled and raised her eyebrows at Myra and said, "Well, I'll be going. Steve has to eat too."

"Thanks again," I said,as she turned and left. Her husband Steve is about as useless in the kitchen as I was.

The pizza man was walking up the porch as she was leaving. She turned and said, "My tuna casserole is better for you!"

I waved to her and paid for the pizzas.

"I didn't know what you liked, so I ordered a cheese and a meat lover." Myra said.

"Thank you, that's fine."

I looked at the counter for the casserole and she said with a smile, "I put that smelly thing on the back deck. You can dispose of it later."

After dinner, Sara fell asleep on the couch. I said, "You shouldn't stay there tonight. Why not lay her down in one of my guest rooms?"

"Really? I was gonna go to a hotel. The house is a mess and the door is broken. I think it may even have a police seal on the front door, but I'm not sure."

"Yeah, I've got a guest room with a queen sized bed you two can share. I even have a nightgown that you could borrow."

"Oh yeah? Do you get many lady callers that spend the night?" She asked and then regretted it when she saw the look on my face. "I'm sorry, I was only playing. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Don't worry about it," I said as she carried Sara up. "First door on the left."

I went to the kitchen and got a bottle of wine that I had left around from when Cindy was still here. I got two glasses and poured some.

As I walked back into the living room she was coming down the stairs.

"Your bedroom is lovely." She said.

"Thanks, there's an adjoining bathroom with a shower if you'd like. The cabinet has towels and toothbrushes and stuff."

"Okay, thank you." She took a glass from me and sat down on the couch. Reflexively, I sat on my bench in the bay window and looked outside into the night.

"Jim, thank you so much for saving us today. He was messed up and I really think he would've hurt us."

"Forget it, wanna tell me who that guy was?"

"That was my ex-boyfriend, Sara's father. We had been together for a few months, but were never in love and then one day a condom broke. He tried to do the right thing, and I moved into his house.

Everything was fine. He seemed excited to be a father and was even going to the birthing classes.

After she was born, he changed. He was drinking a lot and I suspected he was doing drugs.

One day, he came home from work pissed drunk. Sara was in a crying fit and he started screaming at me to get her to stop. I tried to explain the she would be fine in a few minutes, she was just teething.

He punched me and then went to hit her. I turned and ran into the bedroom and sat on the floor with my back on the door, hoping he didn't come after us.

I heard him screaming and screaming at me breaking things in the house and then he stopped.

A few minutes later there was a knock on my bedroom door and a woman said she was a police officer and it was safe. It turned out a neighbor called them.

She looked at my face and called for an ambulance. She said they had him in the car in cuffs and asked if I wanted to press charges. I told her that I did and they took him away.

Long story short he got some prison time and I moved home with my parents. I had started working as a loan officer and was making and saving enough money to buy the house here and thought everything would be fine. I guess he got out and found us.

I'm sorry that you had to get involved but I'm so glad you were at your post. I can't thank you enough."

She was crying now and I asked, "At my post?"

"Yep, right where you are now. We all know you sit there and watch over the neighborhood. We don't think you're a creep or pervert or anything. More than a few of us feel safer for it. You'd be surprised how your neighbors feel about you.

I asked Fran about you when I moved in. She said that you were a good man and perfectly harmless. I tried to get more info from her, but she said that you'd have to tell me your story."

"I appreciate her candor. She's quite the gossip."

"Yeah, I noticed. Jim, what is your story? You got to my house really quickly so I assume you had a gun loaded and ready nearby."

I got choked up a bit and I said, "It's a sad story for another time. I'd like to get some sleep now. The painkillers and full belly have me knocked out."

She said, "Of course, I'm sorry."

"No, don't worry about it. My house is your house so feel free to watch some TV and help yourself to anything I have. I'll grab you that nightgown."

She smiled and said, "Thank you."

**********

I woke up to the smell of coffee and bacon and the sound of giggling. I opened my eyes to see a little angel looking at me.

"Good morning, Sara."

"You snore funny."

"Oh yeah?" I said. "You should hear yourself," and then I made some elephant noises and gurgling sounds.

She laughed and said, "Do not!"

"Yes you do, and next time I'll record you to prove it." She giggled again and ran off.

I got up and walked downstairs to find Myra making breakfast. She poured me a coffee and said, "I broke the yolks so I hope scrambled is good?"

"Perfect. Thank you."

She set a plate in front of me and I noticed Sara was in a booster seat.

"I checked out my house this morning. It's a mess. Between the blood from us and mud from all of the cops, it's a disaster. I grabbed some clothes and necessities."

"You should've woke me. I'd have gone with you."

"It's okay. He's not coming back. I wasn't worried."

I nodded and ate her delicious breakfast. She even made the bacon better than I would've.

"So what's your plan Myra? You're welcome to stay as long as you like."

"Thank you. The police gave me a number for a company that does crime scene clean up. I'm going to have them come out and take care of the mess."

"Okay. The offer stands."

"Thank you, but we don't want to impose. I'll go to my mom's."

"Nonsense. You're more than welcome and I don't mind at all. Especially when you make eggs this good."

She laughed and said she'd think about it.

**********

While Myra was in the kitchen making calls, Sara was watching kids TV in the living room. I was in my usual spot on the bench in my window. The neighborhood was busy with people walking around and taking a look at Myra's house then over at me. Most waved and went back about their business, some stopped by to check on us. I guess word got around that the girls were here.

Myra took the visitors in stride and I wasn't bothered by it anymore.

It wasn't until lunch that Myra commented on my empty fridge.

I shrugged it off and said, "I didn't really have a reason to go shopping this week," not thinking of the repercussions of that.

"Why is that?" She asked.

"Uh, well I wasn't planning on company."

She looked at me funny and said, "You don't eat?"

"Well, I guess I planned on going to the store today."

She didn't buy it, but let it go.

"Jim, will you tell me your story? What's happened to you that you keep a vigil in the window every day holding the photo?"

"I don't keep a vigil, and I'm not doing it to watch over the neighborhood, like you all think. I usually have that picture on the mantle. I just happened to be looking at it yesterday."

"Did your wife pass away?"

I looked down and said, "Kind of. She's been dead for almost a year now."

"I'm sorry. She was so young. What happened? If you don't want to talk, I understand."

I said, "Let's talk in the other room," I pointed to Sara and said, "Little ears."

We sat in the kitchen and I grabbed a beer from the fridge.

"Cindy and I were married for 9 years. Yesterday would've been our 10th anniversary.

She was a nurse at the hospital we went to yesterday. After work one night, she and some friends went out for some drinks to blow off some steam.

I guess, she left earlier than the group and was followed out to her car by a couple of guys. They grabbed her and attacked her."

I started crying and she held my hand.

"They took turns beating and raping her."

"Oh Jim, I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, thanks. They finished and they dumped her in the parking lot where someone found her and called 911. She was in bad shape and ended up needing surgery on the front and the back, if you know what I mean." She nodded.

"So, they fixed her up and she started with counseling. She was afraid of everything. Sounds in the night, people anywhere, and me sometimes. They never found the guys. They have the DNA from the attack, so I guess if they ever get busted for something else, my wife's attack will pop up.

After two months of counseling went by, she seemed to be improving a bit. I could hold her hand again, and cuddle with her and she started to leave the house on walks, not alone, but it was progress.

Then I came home one day and she was sobbing and I couldn't get her to calm down. I finally got out of her that she missed her period."

Myra gasped.

"Well, I tried to tell her it could be mine from before the attack, but she was convinced that it was not mine.

She took a test and was pregnant. Then she regressed into herself even worse. She refused to go to the counselor and stopped leaving the house again.

One day I came home and found her laying in bed, holding our wedding album. I tried to wake her but she was cold. I called 911 but it was much too late. She was gone. She took a bottle of pills and that was it."

Myra came over and hugged me. She was crying, I was crying, we were a mess.

I continued, "When you were attacked, I was sitting in the window with the gun I just got. I didn't even learn to use it. I guess I figured I'll only fire one shot, why bother?"

She softly said, "No, Jim."

"Yeah well, I don't have much reason to keep going. It's funny, I was waiting for a ray of sunshine to break through the clouds for a sign that I shouldn't do it."

"Instead of the sun coming through, you got Rick's truck barreling into my yard. Jim, you got your sign. It was us needing you."

I didn't respond to that statement. It had never occurred to me, I just cried harder into her hug. She held me like she was never going to let go.

***********

We were sitting in silence after Sara was given a bath and put to bed. She came over and sat on the couch next to me.

"Jim, why do you sit in the window?"

"We used to sit there and watch the sunset together. She used to say it was her favorite seat in the house."

"You should see the sunrise from my bedroom sometime." She said almost inaudibly. I let it go as if i didnt hear.

**********

Monday, I had to work. I work from home and have an office set up, so I never have to leave the house if I don't want to.